hello friends. it's certainly been a hell of a couple months. i basically just finished college apps (although i still have two more so rip me) so i hope i'll have more time to write. i realized i never actually addressed the whole question of why on earth freed hired lucy after she said she was single, and it rendered the story rather incomplete, so here's a piece of work that i haven't edited, but will get around to polishing when i have a chance. hope y'all had a fantastic thanksgiving and that you aren't in a complete food coma like i am and this doesn't make u cringe and say yikes every five seconds and will remind you of mira janes scheming ways and my a-for effort attempts at forcing occasional laughs.

why freed hired lucy

"Laxus, that woman is fucking poisonous. She has been, is, and will probably always will be." The silver haired woman stared warningly at her younger-brother figure.

"No buts," she snapped as she noticed him about to defend his long-time girlfriend. He glared at her, his muscular six-foot-three frame towering over her curvy five-seven.

"Listen, Mira," he began, his voice gravelly and deep and not at all unpleasant to listen to, "Ever has her bad sides and her good sides—"

"What?" She cut him off, "Is her only good side the one you can see when you're on top of her?"

"Mira," he started, "You're being irrational."

"But you didn't deny it at all."

"Mira," he groaned, raking his hands through his blonde hair exasperatedly.

There were three sharp raps at the door and then a whirlwind of green hair that barreled into the room without waiting for a response.

"Mira, you'll never guess what happened—"

"Actually, I don't think I could either," Laxus interrupted, unsure of what to make of the whole situation.

"Oh, uh, hello Mr. Dreyar," stammered Freed as his eyes widened at the unexpected visitor to Mira's office.

"Freed, you haven't called me "Mr. Dreyar" since you tried to prank me the first day of work. Clearly, there's something fishy going on that I want to know about, but don't want to know about at the same time."

"Why, Mr. Dreyar, you know me too well," sputtered Freed as he plastered himself against the wall, possibly in a vain attempt to camouflage into the appalling decor of the she-devil's workroom and slip out the door.

"Not a chance, Freed," the blonde man sighed as he blocked the only exit, "Both of you, what the ruddy hell have you been plotting."

Mira looked up innocently from her computer, as though she hadn't heard a word.

"Hm?"

"Mira, you're not fooling anyone with that. What have you been scheming?"

"I actually prefer the phrase "for the greater good" placed strategically after words synonymous with "planning" with positive connotations, quite unlike the choice words you've used in the past thirty seconds or so."

"I actually prefer both of you to stop stalling and tell me what's going on," he snapped.

"Alright, alright," Freed said, holding his hands up in surrender as he inched a little further from Mira, who's hand was dangerously close to the envelope opener on her desk.

"Freed! I thought I taught you better. You must withhold information for as long as possible."

"That was as long as possible," he replied in a timid voice.

"Weakling."

Smack.

The duo jumped guiltily as Laxus slapped his hand on the table.

"Hello? English? No? Hola? Pueden comprender ahora?"

Freed shuffled his feet and became rather intensely interested in the well-maintained polished shininess of his shoes.

"Well?" Laxus snarled, tapping his fingers impatiently.

"Uh—" Freed began.

"What Freed means to say is that we're trying to help you," said Mira distractedly.

"How about," the blonde man growled, "We start from the very, very beginning?"

Mira cleared her throat.

"Well, as you didn't deny before, you're in a rather poisonous relationship."

"Fuck me," muttered Laxus, thinking he knew full well where this was going.

"We hadn't exactly figured out the details as to how to break you guys up or convince you to do so, but well, we did think about hiring new employees, since we do need several; this office is expanding far too quickly for just the three of us to keep up."

Laxus rolled his eyes exasperatedly, "Please, do go on."

"And from how Freed sprinted into my office, I take it our target has taken up our offer and our mission is in full swing?" Mira confirmed with her side-kick, who nodded the affirmative.

"And thus," the silver-haired woman continued, "One, very single, Lucy Heartfilia will be gracing us with her presence as the new head of Web Design."

"Who and what?" Laxus spluttered, "You know very well that she hates my guts now."

"But if you looked her up on LinkedIn, you would know she's desperate for a job, and probably wasn't as careful as she usually is in doing her research."

"She's going to be miserable."

"Possibly, or, you can show her how ashamed you are for your raging 18 year old hormones and your dumbass decisions," said Mira, patting him comfortingly.

"Wait. Why did you have to hire her? Couldn't you have hired anyone else?"

"She was the most qualified in all aspects."

"Mira, I swear to God."

"You're atheist," she chided gently.

"That's not the point. Mira," he did a double take at Freed, who looked up worriedly before becoming concerned with a smudge of ink on the knuckles of his hands, "You did not hire her because of that."

"And if I did?" she simpered.

"Then I'll," he raised a fist rather triumphantly in the air. He stopped.

"Shit, I can't fire her. I'm not that mean," he mumbled, as he began pacing around the room.

"Fuck, Mira."

She smiled wanly as she began to imagine the fruits of her labor.

"It's for the greater good."

"Pipe down, Grindewald."

thanks for sticking with me guys. hope you got the hp reference and if you don't know then oh well.

hope this answers the question in the title well enough.

-zephy