Disclaimer: still not mine. It's dusted off and a little different with the intervening time, but I hope you still enjoy it!

"Fred?"

"Hm?"

"I was wondering if you could hire me at your shop."

"Why? You don't have a single pranking bone in your body."

"No, but we need the extra income."

"You realize that's not the way it works, right?"

"Yes."

"So why did you ask?"

"Because we need to buy a cradle, dear."

Fred laughed. "You're a witch, Herms dearest. If you need a cradle you can just transfigure it."

He snatched up a spare piece of wood, and held out his wand. Then he yelped and dropped the wand. "A cradle! Merlin, Hermione; what'd you go dropping that on a bloke for?! Good grief, I don't... Ginny..." He trailed off. Then he slid down to the floor and buried his head in his hands. "I'm going to be an uncle!"

Hermione laughed, a sound that took his breath away. "It's not Ginny's, love." She was grinning, much to his delight. "You're not going to be an uncle; you're going to be a father."

Fred fainted.

When he woke up, his wife was leaning over him anxiously. He sat up slowly. "I seem to remember you saying something about a possible change, Hermione," he said carefully. "Could you repeat that?"

"You're going to be a father, Fred," she replied. "The best one in the world. You'll teach him pranks and kiss his funny fears away, and you'll hold him and rock him and love him like he's part of you. It's what you do."

He swallowed. For some reason this future sounded purer and sweeter than any he had ever envisioned, and suddenly he couldn't wait.

"Blimey, 'Mione," he said breathlessly, "What'd we wait so long for?"

She laughed through her tears. "I don't know, Fred, honestly."

"And who says it's got to be a boy, anyway?" he went on. "Maybe we'll have a girl. At least a girl and a boy. But two girls and two boys might be nice. What if they don't get along? Better have three boys and three girls. But then one's left out. Four girls and four boys it is, then. Merlin, Hermione, we're gonna need a bigger house!"

"I thought you were a confirmed bachelor, Fred."

"I was."

"And now you want eight kids."

"Well sure, with you."

"What if I don't want eight kids?"

He laughed. "Then we won't have them."

She went silent. He stroked her hand and her arm, the one with "Mudblood" carved into it.

"We aren't monsters, 'Mione. Not everyone treats their wives as property. If you don't want something, we won't do it. All right?"

She nodded, throwing her arms around him and burying her face in his shoulder.

"Grandparents!" squealed Mrs. Granger. "Oh, Hermione, that's wonderful!"

"Congratulations, dear," said Mr. Granger. "We're both so proud of you. You're so strong."

Fred couldn't help but feel that he was intruding on a family moment, even though, his humorous brain told him, he was the cause of it. He slowly backed away and down the hall.

"He's wonderful, Mum. He's kind and gentle and he never, ever, says anything to hurt me."

"I know, dear."

"How?"

"You were always complaining about Ron and Harry, dear. You've complained perhaps twice about Fred. 'Mum, he took me to dinner at such a beautiful muggle restaurant, but he forgot that we couldn't apparate and we had to take a crowded bus.' 'Mum, he mothers me. I've had breakfast in bed twice. I can make it myself, Mum!'"

Hermione laughed. "They are rather different complaints than with Harry and Ron, aren't they? But I'm older now, Mum, and those other things don't bother me anymore."

Fred, still at the door, was intrigued. He'd known that Hermione called her Mum often, on the phelytone, but he didn't know that she didn't complain about him. It gave him an odd sense of satisfaction.

Mrs. Granger tutted. "Hermione, if Fred expected you to do the work behind the joke shop and then took credit for it, how would you feel?"

"Betrayed," Hermione said at last. "But he wouldn't."

"No," was the calm, steadying reply. "But that was your complaint about Harry and Ron, dear. It would have been disastrous for you to marry either of them, darling, and I am so proud of you for seeing that and marrying Fred."

Hermione choked a little at that, and Fred pushed away from the wall and sauntered into the kitchen. "Why hello, ladies," he said with a grin, kissing Hermione's hair and smiling at her mother. "May I join you?"

A/N: Well, that's it for now. The story is still marked as completed, though I may add to it more when the muse shows up for it. In the meanwhile, I hope you enjoyed it.