A/N: Okay... So, long time no see? *breathes deeply* This chapter has been sitting around for months and now I decided to post it because I probably never will since I'm always editing it. So… well, here's chapter 2!
Disclaimer: I do not own Akatsuki no yona.
Warning: OOC-ness. Mature Yona.
"It's strange how we hold on to the pieces of the past while we wait for the future."
-Ally Condie; Matched
Chapter two: Dissonance Part 1
The symbol of the king of Kouka kingdom is the Red Dragon's Castle. That was how tradition has been from Hiryuu's time. However, that gray skied day, it would welcome a new deviation from the rule…
"That's Yona-hime?"
"Sshh. That's not 'Yona-hime' for you any longer. It's Her Highness."
The procession seemed to take forever as a woman walked the path leading towards the throne. Her steps were slow and even, walking with her head held high. Expensive magenta silk robes cast over her, her hair simply held up in a half ponytail which albeit simple did nothing to but bring attention to the dawn-red hair. People whispered in awe. Others in ill-concealed suspicion. Others in disdain. But as it is, all of them held the woman in doubt.
This is the woman that dared to call herself Queen. One who dared and shook the foundations of Kouka.
A woman ruler graces the land.
The young woman held the urge to sigh, the robes draped over her like chains. Many people openly whispered, watching her every movement as she passed by. Yona held back the instinct to stop. Her step wobbled a bit and she immediately sought to correct herself.
"But she is that cowardly King Il's daughter! No doubt, she would be as foolish as her father when it comes to ruling the kingdom!"
Yona tried to tune out those voices, forcing herself to walk with dignity.
"Is this really even possible? A Queen as a ruler?"
"To be ruled by a foolish king, a brief respite from the previous and now a woman?"
"I wish the previous king was here. Yuhon-sama's son is no doubt a better choice than being ruled by a woman."
"A woman on the throne will spell out doom for this country."
She bit the insides of her cheek, flexing hidden her fingers inside the sleeves of her kimono nervously. The closer she got to the throne, the more she felt like the heavy weight was suffocating her. 'They don't understand,' she told herself miserably. 'I don't have a choice. I never had a choice...'
After the crown was placed, she lifted her head, the crown placed on top for the world to see. The generals gathered knelt before her and a resounding cheer followed. Yona felt nothing but bitterness as she looked over her 'subjects'. A few people openly looked at her in disdain while the people cheered.
"With the five tribes who approve present, I crown Her Majesty Yona, the Sky Tribe's First Queen of Kouka!"
Yona addressed the people. "Today, you are witnessing a mark of change in history! I am Yona! From this moment on, I am your Queen!"
There had always been... choices... to make in life. There will be times when two paths are set before you, and the demand comes for you to choose between them. But Yona never really felt as though there were any real choices. Choices needed time to make. But all the options were so dismal that she could only pick one and desperately hope that it was correct. Such was how she was as a Queen. And such was how she decided to create the ripples in the flow of time.
'I need more time. But I have no time. Time is no object.'
Making Hak unconnected (or more or less, cutting him off), made her ache inside but it had to be done. Hak was her first choice. Emotions can't fix logic—it drives logic. Thinking was the key to success. The key to brilliant plans and the origins of intelligent minds. Emotions couldn't be fixed with logic. As she reflected on that choice now, casting her gaze back towards the future she came from, setting this up would be difficult—but not completely impossible. It was rather like Ougi. You had the pieces, you had the board, and you had an objective. Everything moved according to the game's rigid mathematics. The trick was to set up the pieces on the board in such a way that achieving the objective wasn't just possible, but inevitable.
Things were shifting. She was already causing waves. The question was how she would ride them out.
During her reign as a Queen, there were times she had to set aside her emotions, her impulses for the sake of her kingdom. She never shied away from confrontations. She dutifully listened to her advisors, to the opinions of the five generals from the different tribes, to the opinions of the four dragons. She listened to Yoon's opinions, Lily's opinions and pretty much everyone else. To save only those in front of her was laughable. As a Queen she had to carry everything herself. The choice will always land on her lap. She cannot think about herself. She was a monarch before she was a woman.
She was Queen Yona before she was 'Yona'.
But if she were to be honest, she envied the absence of the crown on their heads. She didn't really want the throne her father and Soo-won wore. But who else would take it when there was no one else left but her? Changing the time, the sequence, and the history of her life… from the point of view of a Queen, to minimize the casualties, she needed to do it. However, she wasn't Queen here anymore. She wasn't thrown here in this time by her will. She didn't have the pressure of doing things that would be against her will. And who said it would be for the good of everyone present? One life she could save may result to the death of thousand others. The survival of many may result to the death of one. She didn't think she was someone so important that any of the two could happen but she digressed. It could still happen. She would be changing the way her life turned out, making decisions along the way but who said that if she chooses to change everything it would be for the betterment of all?
'But,'Queen insisted, 'it is necessary because you cannot afford to lose anyone anymore. They are yours. They are your responsibility. '
'But what about the consequences it would bring?'
'Success and Failure often come hand in hand. Some games have higher stakes than anyone can imagine – both good and bad.' Queen solemnly answered.
'But I can't treat this as a game!'
Queen paused for a while, before she spoke again. 'You're a Queen. Letting emotions rule often lead to failures as well. Never forget.'
Yona shook her head, sitting up from her bed. Her dark, cold quarters seemed to close in around her— another reminder. Another sleepless night. It's only been a day after the confrontation between her and her father about Hak's position as her bodyguard. She didn't regret it, but she found herself often sweltered by these thoughts and doubts that warred on her mind. Her 'Queen' mindset and her 'normal-Yona' (so to say) were clashing. There were many details she hadn't paid attention before and only now that she did, she was in turmoil about what to do.
She was a Queen before she was Yona. But here, she was just Yona-hime, the spoiled princess. She had long forgotten how to live that life but in its place, she couldn't exactly forget she was Queen too. She cannot just let go of who she was because of something that was done against her will. A Queen was needed to think through things logically and choose the best choice. As Princess Yona, she needed to consider her standing on the palace. Setting this up would indeed be difficult.
'Never forget.'
The candle in her room had long burned out. She lit it again, instantly brightening the room a bit with the dim light. Her gaze immediately fell on several empty parchments she had left at her table on a whim. A delicate hand reached out. 'Though perhaps this was more of a habit than anything', she thought, with a small fleeting smile on her lips, grabbing a brush.
…
Dear Priest,
Hello… (Here, the brush seemed to linger long, the ink making a deep dot in the paper)
…I'm sorry. I just seem to be at loss for words. I have already written a dozen of letters but I couldn't really decide on what to say. If, by some miracle, (Here, the brush made another pause, the ink making another deep dot but less prominent than the first one) No. I'm sure the heavens would know of my presence here. And I hope you know what I mean by that.
I know I am a stranger to you as of now. We never really met. Not in this lifetime, but I want to be friends. Will that be alright with you, priest-sama?
I think I should start by introducing myself first. Properly.
Hello. I am Yona, princess and formerly the queen of Kouka. I am 13-years-old. I like the warm sun, the endless blue sky, the white clouds and the birds in it. I like the endless blue night, especially the moon the lights my way through the darkness. I also like the smell of herbs that are frequently used to heal all kinds of sickness and wounds. Hello, priest-sama.
I want to ask for your help, your guidance and …your friendship. (The brush paused again)
…I am lost.
Sincerely,
Yona
…
Scanning the letter, Yona pursed her lips with a frown. She read it over again. If she made a drastic error (overestimating or not) that Ik-su wouldn't know who she was, it was better safe than sorry. With a satisfied huff, she neatly rolled the parchment and sealed it. Throwing a look over the mess she made, she looked forlornly at the letters she had for each of the dragons and her friends. A hand gingerly picked them up, fingers carefully dancing through the written words. Reading them over again, she felt the familiar emptiness well up in her chest.
'Words I can never send… Stories I can never share…I still think I'm spoiled after all…I have been spoiled with their protection and constant presence.'
Taking a deep breath, she gathered them all and held them over the candle. Fire burned the paper quickly – unyielding, unending, and merciless. Fire burned everything as purple eyes watched. Yona gathered the dust afterwards and scattered them outside her window, watching as they were blown with the wind. She closed her eyes with a heavy sigh, burying herself deep in her covers, isolating herself from the world.
'Time is passing, and yet in this place, time stands still.'
I can only hold on to the past as I wait for the future…a future that may not exist as time passes by. Even so…I want to see you, everyone…
Min-soo looked curiously at the letter in his hand. Princess Yona trained a warm smile at him, eyes alight with expectation. "Did you get my instructions, Min-soo? Or shall I draw a map for you?" she asked kindly.
"I-I'll make do, hime-sama." The orange brown haired man replied hastily. "You have been so kind to entrust this important letter to me so I'll do my best, Yona-hime-sama!"
Yona watched him carefully, an emotion passing through her eyes which Min-soo didn't catch. Then she smiled brightly. Min-soo gulped, wondering how he ended up with this task. He was nothing but a humble servant, document keeper to His Majesty and a servant to the princess and…
Princess Yona clasped his hand holding the letter. "Then please take care of it, Min-soo. I trust you."
Min-soo resigned himself to his fate.
Kan Tae-jun, the Fire tribe general's second son, happily sauntered down the long hallways of Hiryuu palace. His gait was regal (as it can be) as he casually swooped down and asked one of the maids where the lovable redhead (his future wife, he added in his head) was staying at. All the whisperings of her crazy and delusional came in one ear and gone out of the other as he scoffed, dismissing them easily. Why, his ever so cute rabbit, being crazy and delusional? Princess Yona is his beautiful budding flower—his princess could never be the girl these rumors talk about.
Princess Yona would forever be the happy, laughing princess he met when he first came to the palace with his father. The 8-year-old Yona with short hair, framing her soft round cheeks as she laughed and played around as a child befitting her age. Cute she was though, now at the age of thirteen, she was becoming a jewel. Her hair has always been exotic and rare; the color of the red dawn he liked to refer it to. Her eyes were of the color purple, close to the color of a purple iris. In a few years, Kan Tae-jun could imagine her becoming the most beautiful woman in the kingdom.
Long red curls cascading down her back, purple eyes shining and a beautiful delicate smile on her lips, calling out to him as she ran (Tae-jun-sama~! Tae-jun-sama~!)— He sighed dreamily. Yes, he could see it. He could see his ticket to the throne. And a beautiful Queen too.
A mopey smile appeared on his face at the image. The Fire tribe descendants were always believed to be descended from King Hiryuu. It is their right to the throne. If he, the second son of the Fire tribe general, married the princess, their family would return to their roots. As the legendary king of Kouka's descendants, they would restore the kingdom to its former glory. And he, Kan Tae-jun, would be known as the second legendary king next to Hiryuu! The ash-haired man hummed at the thought. That would be a nice.
But he had a princess to catch first.
He stopped outside the princess's room, absently taking note of how quiet the place is. Suddenly sober, he called for an audience with the princess from the handmaiden outside. A few moments of shuffling, finally, he met the most beautiful girl he had ever laid eyes o— Kan Tae-jun paused, momentarily holding his breath.
(Fire, like the color of embers burned.)
When he blinked again, they were gone.
In the middle of the royally decorated room, purple eyes met his. The maid who opened the door for him stepped aside with a bow, returning to the side. Princess Yona who was holding a brush, set it down on the table, carefully folding the paper spread out. "Did you need something, Kan Tae-jun-san?" she asked. Kan Tae-jun blinked again.
"I—Well," Kan Tae-jun cleared his throat. "Were you busy, princess?"
"Nothing I can't set aside if you really have something more important."
He must have let his imaginations get the better of him. A smile slipped on his face. "Then let's play, hime~!"
From the very moment the color of ash entered her vision, she saw the illusion of the Fire tribe. Starting from Kan Su-jin, the instigator of the uprising of the Fire tribe; (brief anger consumed her) to Kan Kyo Ga who supported Soo-won in his rule and when she blinked again— the renewal of the Fire tribe and undying loyalty to her as a queen—the ghost of General Kan Tae-jun appeared behind the young face of the Fire Tribe's son.
Kan Tae-jun.
Yona observed the still yet-to-bloom flower in the palace flower beds, heaving a soft sigh. This Kang Tae-jun was not him. Not yet. And will never be if she didn't play her cards right.
"Is there something amiss, hime-sama?" Kan Tae-jun asked behind her. Yona lifted her eyes to meet his, meeting the curiosity that shined through. She shook her head, returning her attention towards the flower beds.
"Ne, Tae-jun-san…" she started. "What kind of flowers are outside this place?"
Tae-jun raised a brow. "Why, princess, all this flowers you see here are the kind of flowers you see outside. They are the most beautiful flowers all over the country." Another smile slipped on his face. "Though nothing is more beautiful than you, princess~!"
Yona hummed noncommittally as she walked off in a random direction. This kind of Tae-jun was off putting, so different from the one she was used to but she had to make do. Time travel was really a queer thing. She had been adamant on not letting Hak be by her side but she has still hesitant about a lot of things—Including what to do with her now former (future?) general who was following her heels like a puppy. If memory served right, this would be one of the days when the young man would try to woo her. She had been aware that that never changed in the future but the ash-haired man had at least been subtle and mature, accepting her rejection when she had firmly confronted him. Should she do the same to the present Kan Tae-jun, he would no doubt be more stubborn. Unless she wanted another acting session with Hak (who she was trying to avoid), she would be patient and let the man lose interest in her. She wasn't quite sure what had made the man to decide he was suddenly in love with a thirteen year old anyway. It seemed illogical – though that was probably hypocritical on her part because it was also around this time that her past-self had suddenly decided Soo-won would be her future husband.
Kan Tae-jun followed her as she made her way to sit near the pond. "Yona-hime?"
"Hmm?"
The ash-haired man took a look at her face and watched as Yona stared at the koi swimming in the pond. "From flowers to fishes…Are those fishes more interesting than my company, princess?"
Yona glanced at him and resisted the urge to snort. Even from any time, Kan Tae-jun would always have his childish moments it seemed as she found him uncharacteristically pouting. The one in her time had mellowed down and was more serious but in a way, this change was refreshing. This was a Tae-jun unmarred by the horrors of his tribe. One that would probably be changed if she would introduce him (probably) sooner to it. She had never actually been sure what changed him back in Katan Village but she wanted that maturity back, if only to keep her people from suffering any longer in the years to follow.
"Are you bored?" she asked, mentally shaking herself off the memory path. She could plan later. This time she needed to know how this current teenager thought of the world and everything first. The memories of the Kan Tae-jun in this age in her memories were not the best but it would be unfair to make up a decision based on her memories alone.
The ash haired man merely huffed, laying a hand on his chest. "I believe we can do something more productive of our time, hime-sama." He pompously declared. "A tea perhaps?"
Her lips twitched at the gesture. Deciding to humor the man, she stood up. "A tea it is."
Hak had walked out of his room, letting out a jaw breaking yawn in the process. It has already been two days since he came to the palace with his grandfather. One more day to go and he could finally go back to Fuuga and forget everything that happened. He walked in a random direction, humming as he thought of where to go. There were many places he could go inside the palace but not really all that entertaining or interesting. What only made it interesting to visit the palace was her and Soo-won. He didn't care about the grandiose of the palace or how spacious it was. 'The only good thing about it is that it has many napping spots.' He mentally added.
With Soo-won not there though, there was only the princess. But he didn't really want to meet her, not with the looming choice of becoming her personal bodyguard over his head. Curiously, the king had retracted the offer the day after he had proposed it to him and never made mention of it again. Hak had been curious at what made his mind change but only shrugged it off. Only, his interest was rekindled again when his adoptive grandfather mentioned about the princess making a say about the matter itself.
"Hak, did you have a fight with Yona-hime?"
"No…at least I don't think so. Why?"
"She was uncharacteristically serious when she refused to have you as her bodyguard. Did you do something?"
"I'm telling you I didn't do anything, geez. And if she doesn't want me, then all the better."
"Ho? I can see you scowling, young man. Feeling sorry about rejecting His Majesty's offer now?"
"Never. Besides I haven't even talked to her yet. How am I supposed to have a fight with her?"
"Then what are you still doing here? Yona-hime must be sad you haven't gone to her yet. What kind of childhood friend are you? Scram! If you don't go to her this instant, I'll disown you."
"Sure thing. Do that."
"HAK!"
"I'm going! I'm going! Geez."
Hak snorted. By her refusal, he could actually picture her complaining she didn't want a rude and not-cute bodyguard (as that was his description of the princess being oh so serious). Where can she find a good-looking, handsome bodyguard this days anyways when warriors don't always meticulously look in front of the mirror every day to be good-looking? She might just be lucky he was a natural and didn't have to push much effort in being good-looking as someone once commented his gaze can kill ladies (not literally but close enough).
(Reflecting on this later though, he would admit that he might be a little stung about her supposed rejection as to even have the thought of being good-looking in front of her in the first place. Seriously, the kind of thoughts that girl puts into his mind…)
Though his looks aside, it's not like it would make a difference with the glaring 'I-am-not-Soo-won-sama' plastered on his face. Well, he supposed that made things easier. He could just laze his days away, just sleeping and eating and training those guys back in Fuuga. He wouldn't need to watch her as her eyes light up at the sight of Soo-won or to watch her sulk in disappointment that he was not Soo-won. No more taking care of a troublesome princess.
But who would be her personal bodyguard now? Would it be someone trustworthy? Cute and polite to her standards? (He seriously hoped it would be someone who doesn't spend his time looking at the mirror.) Would he be someone who can cheer her up when she is sulking that Soo-won didn't visit? Would he know where she would hide when escaping her studies? Is he strong enough to protect her in case someone harms her? Hak forcefully pushed the thoughts away. He had already made his say about it. If he was to get involved with the royal family, he would have the rest of his days tied. Wasn't that something he didn't want?
Hak halted in his steps when he saw the telltale of red hair in the distance, in the middle of the gardens. The princess smiled, chatting about something with someone who by the color of his robes, someone from the Fire tribe. Unwillingly, his heart started to beat again as he thought of the girl. This is why he didn't want on deal with his feelings or with the princess in general. Even thinking about her makes him lose his head and make his heart conflicted.
…Who was he fooling exactly?
Who would protect you, Yona-hime? Who would be by your side?
With a conflicted glance at the two, he turned on his heel and left.
'Well…' Kan Tae-jun stared at his tea, bored. From flowers to fishes to a tea, why was the princess being quiet? He had been talking to her the past minutes, all the while receiving only nods and 'no's from the girl. He glanced at the princess again. She was staring out at the garden, seemingly lost in thought. He sighed inwardly, keeping the incoming pout from his face. Instead, he took time to observe the princess quietly. Like the last time he saw her, she was so beautiful. He felt a little pitter-patter in his heart as he stared, mesmerized by the soft fingers that enclosed the cup she was holding currently. A passing thought of those fingers touching his face in a loving manner made him almost sigh dreamily if not for those exact hands going up to brush a strand of hair away from her eyes that caught his attention. Dark circles he hadn't noticed before were prominent and he felt a trickle of concern.
"Are you not sleeping well, Yona-hime?" he asked.
Yona turned to him, blinking in surprise before looking away, "Haven't you heard of my nightly episodes?"
"That every night you scream in waking dreams? But those rumors are not true, aren't they?" Tae-jun asked a little uneasily.
Yona brought the cup to her lips. "It's true."
"Surely, you must be joking, hime-sama. You're—"
"It's true."
"…"
A moment of long silence passed as Yona continued to drink her tea, as if occupying herself with the job, not meeting his eyes again as she did a while ago. The young fire tribe couldn't wrap his head around that unwavering direct answer. The princess continued to drink her tea, staring off into space. Kan Tae-jun felt the seed of doubt in his mind foster, recalling what his father said once to him when they heard the rumors. His father had scoffed, sayingthat the princess was just seeking attention from those rumors, as all ignored children (especially royalty) do.
"Hmp. She's already so spoiled by her father, I wonder what else she hopes to gain by these unsightly rumors. When we ascend the throne, there will never be as such among us, even you Tae-jun. I won't tolerate it."
Perhaps his father was right. Though Tae-jun found it entirely better to shower the said princess with his attentions despite of what they say about the said princess. Because this was his Yona-hime. "Please stop teasing, Yona-hime. What could ever bother you so much that you wake up every night screaming?" He answered, mustering a smile on his face. He picked up his own tea, missing the sad look the princess threw him. "Now this tea is a marvel. It cannot possibly compare but we have tea in Saika too! How would you like to come sometime, Yona-hime?"
The princess looked at him for a moment and shook her head, giving him an apologetic smile. "I can't go out of these walls, Tae-jun-san. Father will never allow it." Kan Tae-jun felt the trickle of disappointment wash over him. Of course, the king never allowed the princess outside. The people outside don't even know how beautiful this jewel here today is. "It would be nice to visit Saika someday though." The princess continued. "So for the meantime, can you tell me about the lands the Fire tribe owns? I'm sure it would be beautiful."
Kan Tae-jun happily obliged, internally relieved even though he felt the pangs of guilt in his heart for some reason.
Min-soo was never one to believe rumors without definite proof. And he was loyal to the king and the princess without fault—that he was confident in. But overlooking the tall mountains and the green land mass below, Min-soo was ashamed to admit that he was actually wondering if there was some merit to the rumors saying the princess was crazy. Having the princess sent him on an errand somewhere around the lands of the Wind tribe with definite instructions (very definite instructions despite the princess never being outside the castle), he was—he was really really ashamed to admit—dubious of how anyone can ever live on these desolate lands. Surely the princess must be sending him on a fool's errand? He immediately shook his head, horrified at the thought. He had accepted the letter wholeheartedly after seeing the look on the princess face. The hopeful look tinged with fear that he might reject. It was almost an improvement from the lost look that the princess had all year round when the so-called 'madness of the princess' struck. Sighing heavily, he took out the scroll hidden in his pocket, silently apologizing to the princess (as he did so every now and then) and trekked down the mountains.
He had been more surprised when the princess had specifically asked the emperor for a three-day day-off for him just to deliver this letter. As flattering it is to have the princess put so much trust in him, he did wonder why she hadn't just asked the Wind tribe to deliver this letter. It was closer to their lands and he even heard the princess was close with the Wind tribe general and his grandson herself. He had voiced this question but the princess just silently smiled.
"You'll know when you get there."
He silently hoped that the princess wasn't really as crazy as the rumors tell and he will find the person who the letter was designated to. Whoever that person is that it needs this much secrecy… The King doesn't even know the reason why the princess had insisted this so-called vacation.
He felt the scroll in his pocket again. Fool's errand or not though, he cannot betray those hopeful eyes. 'I will try my best, Yona-hime… May Hiryuu watch over us.'
Somewhere...
A young boy with short strawberry blond hair adorned with two small white feathers on its left side looked up at the sky as the wind blew gently.
~Long, long ago
A bright red sun was eaten
And the world was dyed black.
Let's call the four dragons
Bow our heads
Let's bow our heads to the fire dragon~
"Where is that stupid priest?"
To be continued
A/N: Okay, doesn't cover much but I'll try with the next chapter. I'm not sure if this is a noteworthy follow-up but I tried my best! Thank you so much for those who reviewed and fav'ed the story! It was a great inspiration in making this chapter.
I'm trying to tie the events in the anime/manga to the plotline even though there are bound to be changes with the butterfly effect. SO, as established in the chapter: (1) Yona's 'Queen vs. Yona' mindset. I hope that wasn't so OOC. By how she was developing in the manga, I want to dream that this personality might not be a little far-fetched when she reaches the Yona's age in this story. Though I did have warnings for OOC-ness. (2) Hak's hesitance. I think he was OOC too but I hope not much… (3) Tae-jun's an idiot in this age
For next chapter… surprise?