The next morning, 2003 Raphael woke, saw his alternate self was beside him and it all came flooding back to him. Leo. Ashes. Nothing, but dashed dreams and ashes. Letting out an anguished howl, a twinge of nausea suddenly hit him and he raced to the bathroom, where he upchucked into the toilet.

"Raphael, are ya okay?" 2012 Raphael said, entering the bathroom, his voice laced with concern.
2003 Raphael retched again, looked at his alternate self and said, "Do I sound okay? Cause I ain't. He's gone and now I'm bilious. Maybe it's somethin' I ate."
"Can't be. Ya hardly ate yesterday. Have ya considered it's somethin' else? Were ya and Leo intimate recently? Sorry. I know that's pryin', but it could explain why yer ill."

2003 Raphael frowned. His alternate self had a point. He and Leo had been intimate on the beach a few weeks prior, but he, Raphael, had been on the pill. Unless the damn thing hadn't worked and… No. Fate wasn't that cruel to give him more kids. He already had four and two eggs. Wasn't he dealing with enough shit? But it did make sense. The sudden nausea. He'd experienced it when he'd been gravid before.

"So?" 2012 Raphael asked. "Were ya and Leo intimate?"
"Yeah, but I was on the damn pill, so perhaps yer mistaken and it's somethin' I ate," 2003 Raphael said, as his stomach lurched He threw up again, as his alternate self rubbed his shell in circular motions, trying to soothe him.
"It's gonna be okay, Raphael. We'll be there for ya. All of us, especially me and Leo, so if yer gravid, ya don't gotta worry 'bout a thing."
"This wasn't meant ta happen. Eight kids. How is that fuckin' fair? Leo should be here," 2003 Raphael said, turning around and sinking to the floor. "Leo, ya bastard. How could ya stick me with eight kids? How could ya leave me ta do it all alone? I can't."
"Ya will and we'll be there for ya," 2012 Raphael said, sitting down and wrapping his arms around his alternate self.
"It's such a mess," 2003 Raphael wept. "Babies and no Leo. I never thought I'd face life without him. How am I gonna break the news ta my kids? They won't understand and will keep askin' for Daddy Leo. That's gonna be like a dagger ta my heart and the younger kids will have no memories of Leo, besides what I tell them and videos and photos at the lair."
"I'll help ya, Raphael. Ya ain't alone," 2012 Raphael said and kissed his forehead. "I think we should leave this place and go back ta the lair in my dimension. It'll be less painful than yers with all the memories and Shredder's gone, so the kids will be safer. Do ya want the baby? I know it's a lot..."
"It's a shock and a lot ta deal with, but I ain't gonna get ridda of it. It's Leo's and the last thing I got of him. I want it and if yer sure ya wanna help me with my kids, I'll try ta cope. I don't know 'bout movin'. It's too soon ta make a decision 'bout that. Ya should know that I almost died when layin' my last clutch of eggs, so it's possible I might now, but I ain't gonna terminate my pregnancy." 2003 Raphael said firmly.
"I understand. I'd feel the same way 'bout my baby. Kinda strange we're both gravid, huh?"
"Yeah. I suppose. I can't believe it. Life never stops throwin' curveballs at me. Leo dyin' and now I'm gravid and probably with two eggs again, because fate can't stop messin' with me," 2003 Raphael said pulling away. "Would ya mind leavin' me alone for a while? I need some time alone."
"Sure. I'll help ya ta bed and then I'll bring ya somethin' ta eat. Think ya can stomach food?"
"Dry toast and water. Thank ya, Raphael. Ya've been wonderful ta me."
"No problem at all," 2012 Raphael said, helping his alternate self to his feet. "Ta bed. Don't worry 'bout the kids. I got no doubt my family are lookin' after them. They adore kids, especially Mikey."

2012 Raphael led his alternate self to his bed and then placed a bucket on the dresser.

"So ya don't gotta go ta the bathroom ta get sick," 2012 Raphael. "I'll be back in a few with my Donnie, who'll wanna examine ya. Ya'd better listen ta him. He can be strict."
2003 Raphael smiled and said, "I bet. Thanks for the heads up."

2003 Raphael took a deep breath and slid his hand along his tail, knowing that was the best way of checking if he really was gravid, a bump being an egg. His golden eyes widened in amazement when he felt one. Small, but definitely there. He was gravid and by his estimation a couple of weeks along. He'd drop the egg in December and it'd hatch in February. The eggs Leo had laid would hatch in November if they made it to full term.

"Holy smokes, Leo," Raphael said. "I'm gravid. Do ya know that? Dad implied I'd have more kids and he was right. Whoa. Leo, I'm so devastated yer gone and I miss ya so much, but this…This is bittersweet, Leo. I'm scared, lost, mad and missin' ya like crazy. Ya should be here with me." Tears ran down his face and he choked out, "This is the last thing I got of ya, Leo. Yer legacy. It ain't fair that ya ain't here with me. I'm grateful for everyone's help, but it ain't the same as ya bein' here."
"I know, babe," Leo said, appearing in front of him to Raphael's bewilderment.
"Leo, yer here. How? Yer dead," Raphael said in amazement, his golden eyes wide.
"I don't know, babe," Leo said, cupping his face. "But I am. Maybe just to share this moment. Oh, Raph. I'm sorry I left you. I wish I could be there for you, especially now with the baby."
"Come back ta me, Leo," Raphael sobbed and nuzzled his hand against Leo's. "Ya hand feels real. Am I dreamin' this?"
"No. I'm here. I'm always here, even if you can't see me. I'm the wind that blows, I'm the sun casting its rays on your gorgeous face and I'm in your heart. I love you and I know you're scared, but you're going to be all right, my love. You will be and someday we'll be reunited."
"I wanna come with ya now, angel. Please. Take me with ya."
"I can't. It's not your time, Raphie, and you have a job to do, which is raising our eight gorgeous babies. They need you more than ever."
"Leo! I need ya. I ain't copin' without ya."
"I understand, but you'll get through it and we'll be together again, but not now, angel," Leo said and kissed his mate's lips. "Raise the kids and please love again. Please. You can't spend your life alone with only memories. You need love and someone to care for you. Let Raphael and Leo in. I know they'll be everything you need and deserve."
"NO! I don't want ya ta go!" Raphael said hysterically. "Please stay with me, Leo."
"I was told your pregnancy will go swimmingly, you'll have twin boys. The older one will be Kian and you'll name the younger boy after yourself. You refused to name one after Donnie. I also know Raphael will have a little girl he's going to call Jessica Marie, who's going to marry our little Leo someday. How sweet is that? Raphael and his Leo will have a huge brood, who'll marry our young and there will be lots of little kids, making you a grandpa several times over. Your life's going to be fantastic, Raphie. Mutants will gain rights someday and our kids will be able to have normal lives. You'll fulfil your dream of being an artist. How cool is that? Your paintings will sell like hotcakes and you'll be fabulously wealthy."
"I don't care. I wanna be with ya. Now. Take me."
"You'll come to me when you're old, Raphie. You'll die with Raphael and my alternate self, but that's hundreds of years away."
"Tell me when I'll be with ya."
"I'm not allowed. I want you to make peace with our Donnie. I was upset when he wasn't allowed at my memorial. That was a horrible thing to do, okay, even if he was a bit of a jerk? He also loved me, misses me and I love him. Promise me you will."
"I don't wanna."
"Raphie, please," Leo said, turning puppy dog eyes on his mate.
"Fine," Raphael said, who'd never been able to refuse him. "I will." He nuzzled Leo's hand and said, "I miss ya so much, hon. I'm strugglin'."
"I know, so I want you to go a therapist when you get home. Dress in a disguise and go and also talk to our family and our alternate selves. Promise me you will and won't keep things bottled up."
"Yer such a nag. Even in Heaven."
Leo smiled and said, "Promise me. I'll haunt you if you don't."
"Okay," Raphael sniffed. "I'll go ta a therapist and talk things out and I'll talk ta our brothers and alternate selves."
"Now I have to go," Leo said, wrapping his arms around his mate and then tenderly kissing him on the lips.
"Leo, no," Raphael wept, tears raining down his face and clinging to his mate. "Leo, don't leave me."
"I have to, Raphie," Leo said, blinking back tears. "I don't want to, but I have to. Just remember I'm always here with you and I can see what you're doing. I'm your Guardian angel. The brightest star in the sky is me watching over you. I love you so much, my beautiful, sexy Raphie and I always will. Tell our sweet babies about me and tell them I love them and that I'm always with them."
"Leo! I love ya so much too. Leo, don't go! Leo!" Raphael cried.
Leo gently disengaged himself, kissed his mate on the lips and said, "I'll try to visit again, but if I can't remember all I said and love Raphael and Leo. Please. They're incredible people. Aishiteru."
"Aishiteru, Leo. My Leo," Raphael wept, as Leo disappeared into thin air. "Leo, come back. Come back ta me."

2012 Donnie and 2012 Raphael entered the room, 2012 Raphael carrying a tray on which were a piece of dry toast and water.

They quirked their eye ridges and looked at 2003 Raphael, having heard the last comment.

"Who were you talkin' to, Raphael?" Donnie asked.
"My Leo. He was here. He came ta see me."
"Really? Where?"
"He left, but he was here. I ain't makin' it up. He said a bunch a things that are gonna happen, like Raphael is gonna name his daughter Jessica Marie."

2012 Raphael's jaw dropped. He didn't believe in ghosts, but how could Leo have known that otherwise? It must be true, because he hadn't told anyone, even his mate, names he liked.

"I don't think Raphael's fibbin'," 2012 Raphael said. "I love that name and it's exactly what I wanna name my daughter. Only his Leo coulda known, because I ain't told no one, but thanks for spoilin' the surprise. I didn't wanna know the gender, Raphael."
"Sorry. He also said a lotta other stuff. Do ya wanna know?"
"Good stuff?"
"Yeah and ya should know that I am gravid. I felt an egg. It's tiny, but there."

"Then you'll need tons of bed rest, you'll have to take care of yourself and you must listen to my orders, Raphael," Donnie said. "Both you and my brother. Eat. I'll examine you and then you must sleep."

2003 Raphael ate his food and drank his water. Then he told Donnie and 2012 Raphael what Leo had said, while Donnie examined him and confirmed his gravidness.

The 2012 Turtles were stunned by the news and also thrilled that their clan would also be expanded.

"It's so exciting," Donnie said. "More babies. I'm thrilled. I just wish I'd meet someone."
"My brother's available," 2003 Raphael said.
"Thanks, but being with your Donnie would be too weird. Now, sleep, Raphael. We'll check on you later, okay?"
"Thank ya," 2003 Raphael said, as his alternate self kissed his forehead. "Thank ya so much."
"It's a pleasure."

"Catch ya later, hon," 2012 Raphael said and smiled. "Jessica Marie. Leo's really watchin' over us after all, Raphael. I can't wait ta tell Leo the resta the news. He'll be floored."

2003 Raphael closed his eyes, placed a hand on his flat plastron and said, "I'm closin' my eyes and lookin' in my heart, 'cause that's where ya are and yer never far away from me, Leo. I'll be strong for the babies and I can't wait ta see ya again and ta be in yer arms. I'll never really be happy until I'm back with ya, because that's the only place I belong. Aishiteru, my angel. Now and forever."

A/N Next up, 2003 Raphael visits a shrink.