Burn Notice

A.N.: An AU meeting for our favorite pairing. For Hulkwidow prompt weeks hosted by hulkwidownet on tumblr. Week Two: Crossovers and AUs.

"I've been burned?!", Natasha yells through the line and Clint's pretty sure she just made him lose the little hearing he has left. "By who?"

"You think I know?", Clint yells back. "Just get the fuck out of there, Nat.", his tone of voice is that of giving an order and if these were normal circumstances, Natasha would probably bite his head off. Alas, these are not normal circumstances. "I'm surprised you aren't dead already."

"Was it that new guy Roberts? I swear to God if it was him-"

"Yeah, yeah. You'll rip him to shreds I get the picture.", Clint cuts her off. It's like he's begging to be tortured. Oh, well. He's gonna milk it while he's got the chance. "Now get the fuck out of there."

"I've changed my mind. You, I'm gonna rip to shreds. Roberts? Oh, I'm gonna ruin him."

"Natasha. Out. Now."

She sighs. "Jesus Christ, Clint, calm down. I'm going.", Natasha says only to find the other line already dead. She smirks.

Natasha doesn't worry. It's not the first time she's been burned while on a mission and it definitely won't be the last; she just didn't quite see it coming this time. Although, looking back on it, she probably should have. Things were going too well.

She knows Clint will follow protocol and expect her to do that as well; she is to ditch all possible devices she has, keeping only a knife or two (she might keep her gun, though, she's gotten quite attached to that precious beauty - it's brand new S.H.I.E.L.D. gear, she's not letting it go that easily) and find somewhere to lay low for the next week. Then, she is to call Clint on a secure line and discuss an exit strategy.

She's done this more time than she could count. So, Natasha doesn't worry.

Looking behind her with the corner of her eye, Natasha can see that they're tailing her; she needs to make them lose her and fast.

Seeing no other way, she grabs the first guy she spots that seems somewhat available - she just wants a decoy, not to cause a scene with someone's significant other - and lays one on him, full and fast, backing him against the closest wall and then switching their positions so that she's the one leaning on the surprisingly cold bricks, using his body to shelter her from the crowd.

They stay like that for a few moments and Natasha concludes that - if anything - the guy's at least a decent kisser. For a second she thought about going for the girl walking a few steps behind her, but she decided not to in fear that those horny assholes might decide to stay and watch when they notice two hot girls making out in the middle of the street.

Hah., Natasha thinks. Men.

She kisses him maybe for a minute or two more and she can feel him relaxing, his eyes closing and his arms going around her waist. Even his breathing calms and a sense of relief comes over Natasha, because out of two ways this could have went, she was lucky enough it was the better one.

Deciding that she's good to go, Natasha breaks the kiss, looking up at the man.

"Thanks for that.", she says rather professionally, although there's a hint of teasing in her voice. What can she say? She likes to flirt.

It takes him a bit longer to compose himself. "Anytime.", he replies and a smirk comes over her lips.

After realizing what he's said, the man shakes his head and lifts his hand to rub over his face, and Natasha considers it a type of face-palm.

It's quite endearing, actually.

"Sorry.", he says and Natasha laughs - actually laughs, which even surprises her, to be honest.

"Don't worry about it.", she's still leaning against the wall and the cold bricks are cooling her skin, which she finds refreshing in the Sao Paolo heat.

"Can I at least get your name?"

She considers it for a second. "If I tell you mine, you tell me yours.", she says and he nods, a smile on his face. "Natasha Romanoff."

He nods again - this time as if he's approving of the name - before replying himself. He's still standing offly close to her, but neither seem to mind. "Bruce Banner."

For a second, her blood turns cold.

"Fuck.", she sighs, leaning her head against the wall. She considers it a type of banging her forehead against a hard surface. "Of all the guys, I had to pick one with anger issues."

Bruce moves away from her then, as if only now realizing how close he'd been standing, and looks at her judgingly.

"Agent?"

"S.H.I.E.L.D."

He laughs bitterly. "Great."

"Sao Paolo, though? Really? For a guy supposed to be avoiding stress-"

"Just great. Amazing. Simply-"

He cut her off so she does the same to him. "Hey, I'm not having a party here, either."

"Yeah, but it's not like you're the one that's gonna end up in a cage."

"I'm a spy. Never rule out that possibility."

Bruce nods, acknowledging her statement. "True. Although what's to stop you from taking me in? I bet there's a big reward for finding me. You might get promoted!", his voice is filled with fake excitement at the last sentence, and Natasha rolls her eyes.

"One; your big green issue is what's stopping me from bringing you in. Trust me, honey, I'm in no desire to see your party trick. If I wanna meet Mr. Hyde, I'll find one in a phone-book and make an appointment.", she says, looking up at him defiantly. Natasha Romanoff doesn't scare easily. "Two; you don't get a reward for finding something that hasn't been lost in the first place.", his brows furrow in confusion and Natasha smirks. "You honestly think S.H.I.E.L.D. doesn't keep tabs on you?"

"Then why am I free to roam the streets of Sao Paolo instead of being locked up in a military facility?"

Her expression softens as his voice lightly cracks while he finishes the question. "Nick Fury seems to trust you."

He snorts. "I'm sorry if I find that hard to believe."

Natasha fights the urge to roll her eyes again. This guy really is stubborn. "Also, three; as tempting as it may be - and as good as Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. may sound after Natasha Romanoff, I have literally no desire to actually take that position.", she says. "And that's basically the only thing they can promote me to.", she raises her eyebrows. "Speaking of that, maybe I should ask for a raise."

He pauses then, taking a minute to collect his thoughts. "What's the plan?", is what he asks.

If Natasha is surprised by the sudden turn of the conversation, she doesn't show it. "Don't really have one.", she says and if Bruce is surprised by that answer, he doesn't show it, either. "I've just got burned so the only thing I can do is stay low and try not to get myself killed.", she explains. "Although they'll definitely have a field day trying that.", she adds with a smug smile.

Bruce's laugh is so faint she almost doesn't hear it. "So, basically, you need a safe place to crash?"

Natasha nods. "Is that an offer?"

"Might be.", Bruce shrugs.

"Add a few meals to that and you might just get to second base, Doc.", she teases and this time Bruce's laughter is louder, accompanied by a shake of his head.

"Come on.", he says, gently pulling on her hand that neither realized he was holding.

Natasha lets herself be guided by him as he pulls her closer to him, putting a hand around her waist.

"That hat really is pretty.", he says and Natasha quickly catches sight of the hat in question. It's quite large and Natasha's sure it'll hide her face if she wears it just right.

"You've got quite an eye.", she says, neatly stealing the hat as they hurry down the street.

The coolness of the brick walls have been replaced by a nice warmth coming from Bruce's hand on the small of her back.

"Thank you.", she whispers and he almost doesn't catch it. He does, though, and he smiles a bit shyly as she puts one hand around his waist and the other on his chest, making sure to keep up their charade of a couple in love.

There's a smile on her face, too, but Natasha can't quite figure out if she's faking that.

"Anytime.", he replies and she can hear the smile in his voice.

They disappear among the crowd in the streets of Sao Paolo.