A/N: So, I had a creative burst and had to run with it! I am expecting this to be a bit of a four chapter little short story. I love Mary Lambert and find her music crazy inspiring, so this short story is based off of some of her best songs. If you haven't listened to her I highly recommend it! She's kind of amazing. Anyway, so I know Jessie's Girl was a Rick Springfield song, but Mary Lambert took it to a new level of awesomeness. Check it out. Okay, enough Mary Lambert love...I hope you enjoy! :)
Alex ran out of her best friend's apartment. The winter rain was falling hard and she'd left her jacket behind in her escape, but she didn't care, she had to get away. Feeling the soaking chill overcome her body she headed for home. She didn't know what to do anymore, her feelings were overwhelming and conflicting and she was at a loss.
Jessie was her friend. He was her best friend. They'd met in their freshman year Sociology course on Marriage and Family. It was a prerequisite filler and they'd both found the teacher quite laughable. After working on an extra credit requirement together they'd become best friends, and battle the undergrad years studying away in the library. They both wanted to go onto Harvard's law school so they ended up taking most classes together. He was her sounding board and pillar when she needed it, but now she couldn't bear to be around him. Jessie found a girl.
His girlfriend Casey was breathtaking. She was funny, beautiful, smart, had the most amazing laugh, gorgeous red hair, and sparkling green eyes. She was everything Alex desired and it was killing her to watch Casey with Jessie.
She was so upset she didn't realize how cold and wet she was, she didn't notice her makeup running and she didn't care that her clothes were heavy with the rain. Alex just kept walking towards her apartment soon she'd be home, soon she could climb into the warm shower and cry on the floor till she climbed in bed and slept everything off. Everything felt confusing and everything felt off kilter. Her world was spinning off axis and the only thing she could do to remedy the situation was to put distance between herself and Jessie.
She couldn't keep playing to the charade. She couldn't keep acting like it didn't bother her. Every time she watched them kiss it was like a knife to her heart, knowing Casey was sleeping in his arms tore her apart. She couldn't call herself Jessie's best friend when she felt horrible every time she saw him and Casey happy together.
Alex had tried to play it cool, she'd just tried to be the supportive funny friend that Jessie had always known, but she ultimately failed. Anytime Casey brushed against she felt chills course through her, anytime she made Casey laugh she felt like she could explode with joy, all she wanted to do was tell Casey how much she loved her. All she wanted to do was hold the redhead in her arms and kiss her, but it was pointless, Casey was with Jessie.
Finally two blocks away from her apartment, Alex realized just how cold she was. She could see every breath and her legs began to hurt with every step. She knew she'd be lucky to not have pneumonia by morning. She normally would have called a cab in this weather or had Jessie drive her home, but she had to get out of there, she had to get away. Jessie and Casey had been laughing at some part of the movie they were watching, although Alex had just been watching Casey. Accordingly, she didn't miss when Casey kissed Jessie and that had been the final straw. She'd gotten up quietly and exited the apartment, never wanting to look back.
Suddenly, she heard a car approaching from behind. Hearing it slow, she turned around to see Casey's Volvo approaching. Her heart sank at the sight. She must have come out looking for her.
Casey unrolled the window and yelled, "Alex! What are you doing? Get in the car!"
Alex didn't hesitate, she did as told. Walking around the car she opened the door and climbed inside, instantly feeling the warm heat of the car engulf her and instantly feeling awful for how gross her soaked presence was making Casey's car. "I'm sorry you felt like you had to come looking for me Casey." Alex mumbled through chattering teeth.
"What the hell did you think you were doing Alex?" Casey asked firmly.
Hanging her head, Alex said, "I had to get away Casey. I just needed to be alone."
Casey turned the corner and pulled into Alex's apartment complex. Driving up to the blonde's stairwell she could feel her frustration boil over. "Alex, seriously, do you hate me so much that you have to go running out in thirty degree weather at night in the rain to escape me?"
Looking hurt, Alex locked eyes with Casey. Even with the normally jovial redhead being upset with her, she looked beautiful. The frustration in her eyes made them a dark green, and her hair seemed slightly redder, and her skin creamier. Alex knew something's were just in her head, but still she couldn't help but focus on Casey's beauty as she softly said, "I don't hate you."
"Then what is it? Even Jessie says you are acting weird now. What are you in love with him?" The redhead questioned forcefully.
Alex felt humiliated and ashamed. She hadn't even yet told Jessie she was gay. She hadn't told anyone because she just had never felt 100% sure, but Casey had changed everything for her. It was like seeing the world clearly for the first time, but now that person was upset with her, and the only way to explain anything was to tell the woman who'd made the world so clear for her the truth.
"Casey, I am not in love with Jessie." Alex mumbled.
"Then what is your deal, Alex," Casey asked again.
Looking into Casey's green eyes for probably the last time, Alex knew she had to come clean. "Casey, I don't hate you and I am not in love with Jessie."
"I know, you already said that."
Alex took a breath, "I know…I just needed to say it again."
"Why?" Casey questioned.
"Because I was buying myself time, I was building the nerves." Alex said as she built the confidence she needed.
Casey looked confused, "For what?"
"For this," Alex said as she dipped her head and pressed her lips to Casey's. The kiss was chaste at first but when Casey didn't instantly pull away, Alex cupped a hand to Casey's cheek tilting her face just right to deepen the kiss just a little. She made a point to remember everything from the feeling of Casey's soft skin and plump lips, to the taste of her vanilla mint lip balm and tea tree fragranced hair. This would be the last kiss for sure; this was the burning of the bridge. She'd never be forgiven.
As the kiss ended, Alex sat back in her seat, letting the heady feeling wear off. Casey shook her head confused. "Alex..." Casey started a bit breathless, "Alex, what was that?"
Smiling as she suddenly felt an overwhelming burst of self-confidence; Alex took the car door handle, and said, "That was me explaining. I am in love with you Casey."
With that she opened the door and stepped out into the cold rain, only looking back just long to see a stunned Casey looking back at her. She didn't feel the cold this time as much as she walked to her stairs. Instead, she felt an amazing power building inside of her. She felt the confidence of finally knowing exactly who she was...she was Alex Cabot and she was in love with a woman and she'd finally told that woman. She'd told Casey Novak that she was in love with her.