Ninety-Nine Failed Pick-Up Lines (And the one That Actually Worked)

Summary: It all started with a pick-up line whispered on a rooftop. "You know, Tantei-kun, if I had eleven roses and you, I'd have a dozen." Kaitou KID barely dodged the soccer ball that shot past his head and lodged itself in the steel door behind him.

Rating: T

Warnings: Swearing

Chapter Four:Blanket

"Sonoko? A babysitter?! For me?!"

Conan, dinner forgotten, was staring at Ran like she had grown another head.

"Mmm," Ran nodded as she finished chewing. "I know you can take care of yourself, Conan-kun, but I'd feel bad leaving you home alone for an entire week. You're only seven, after all."

"What about Agasa-hakase and Haibara? I've stayed with them before...!"

Ran sighed and wiped her mouth. "It seems the professor blew up a large portion of his house. He's living in a hotel with Ai-chan until the house can be fixed."

"But what about Genta? Mitsuhiko? Ayumi? Can't I stay with one of them?"

"They're all on vacation right now. Summer break just started, after all."

"How about Hattori-nii? And Kazuha-neesan?"

"Conan-kun, there's no way you're going all the way to Osaka."

"I could stay with... Shinichi-nii? His house is big enough!"

Ran glared at Conan.

"But- what about-" Conan's mind scrambled as it tried to think of someone, anyone other than Sonoko, who would possibly be able to take care of him for a week. "-what about Nakamori-neesan...?"

Ran was silent for a long time, face unreadable.

Conan was silent, waiting with bated breath.

Finally, Ran spoke. "I guess it wouldn't hurt to call and ask."

'Alright!' Conan thought, 'Crisis averted!'

Conan was brushing his teeth when the doorbell rang. Ran had left a few hours ago for karate camp, and Kogoro had been off on his "important case" for several days already. After the doorbell rang for the second time, Conan hurriedly spit out his toothpaste, turning offs the faucet and wiping his hands on the way out of the restroom.

"Hold on! I'm coming!" Bare feet came pounding down the staircase as Conan rushed to open the door. He raced past the thermostat on his way to answer the door, backtracking to crank the temperature waaaay down.

"Twenty degrees? That's more like it." To save energy, Ran usually kept the thermostat at a terrifying thirty degrees. On some days, it was better just to keep the air conditioning off, lest it actually heat the room up. Conan secretly loved keeping the room as cold as possible (he actually loved wasting energy), so whenever Ran was gone, he'd bask in air conditioned bliss for as long as he could.

The doorbell ringed for a third time, snapping Conan out of his air-conditioned reverie, and he opened the door for Nakamori-chan.

Except...

It wasn't Nakamori-chan at the door. It wasn't even a '-chan.' It was...

"KID?!"

Conan gaped at the man standing in the doorway. Despite Conan's sudden outburst, the man smiled, unfazed. "Um, I think you're the kid here... You're Conan-kun, right?"

Conan shook off his initial surprise. That's right, this man wasn't actually Kaitou KID. He'd just had the bad luck of being KID's cover identity for a night.

"Yup! I'm Edogawa Conan! You're Nakamori-chan's boyfriend, right? Did you come with Nakamori-chan today?"

The man's smile seemed to flicker for an instant, but it was back at full force so quickly, Conan must have imagined the brief lapse.

"Well, I'm Kuroba Kaito, Aoko's friend. Something," the man grimaced for a second, "came up, so she couldn't make it today. I hope you don't mind, I'll be taking care of you for today."

"That's fine with me, Kuroba-san!" Conan moved to the side and gave the man his largest, most disarming smile. Hopefully Kuroba would leave him to his own devices for the day. It was always a bother when people forced Conan to go out and have 'fun,' since the fun usually ended in a murder (or two.) Kuroba entered the Mouri home, and for the first time, Conan noticed how the man was dressed.

Hat, tank top, shorts, sneakers, backpack, sunglasses. Comfortable clothes, almost like clothes one would wear for a day wandering around outside...

"Let's go out today and have a lot of fun, 'kay?"

Conan stared. Oh, hell no.

Kaito and Conan were seated on the couch, Conan's eyes glazing over in dread as the older boy rambled on about their plans for the day.

"...And I was thinking that we could go to the beach after that, and then we can eat lunch at this awesome new family restaurant, and then we can go to the festival in this nearby city—man, is this house cold, or is it just me— then we can take a taxi over to Tropical Land and eat dinner there, and then we can go to this cool little gelato shop I love, then we can go to the planetarium for their summer stargazing program, then we can rent a movie and watch it back here, and then you can go to bed. Does that sound like a good plan to you?"

Without meaning to, Conan let out a soft whimper. To anyone else, it would've sounded like a injured puppy begging for help, but to Kaito, it sounded like a confirmation of his plans.

"Cool! It's decided then! Why don't you head upstairs and change out of your pajamas? The sooner you change, the sooner we can go out and seize the day!" Kaito jumped up and punched the air. "Man, am I stoked! We are going to have so much fun!"

"Ne, Kuroba-san..."

Conan was trying to stall for time, in hopes of delaying the inevitable.

"You can just call me Kaito-nii!"

"Ne, Kaito-nii? Before we go, can I eat breakfast first? I'm staaarving!"

The boy patted his stomach for emphasis, trying to avoid going outside for as long as he could.

"That's a great idea! We should always start the day with a balanced breakfast—"

"Yup! Ran-neechan says that too! I'll go make some toast right now!"

"—In fact, you don't need to make toast. One of my favorite cafés has a special breakfast promotion going on right now! We can eat there! Why don't you get changed?"

Conan grudgingly trudged up the stairs, and closed his bedroom door with a slam. Kaito waited for the boy to go out of earshot before he doubled over with laughter. 'That look on Tantei-kun's face is absolutely priceless! Today really will be fun... For me at least."

"...And the true murderer is you, Miyamoto-san!"

"What? How can that be? I loved Yamamoto!"

"Precisely! And because you believed Yamamoto-san did not love you, but loved Sawamoto-san instead, you killed Yamamoto-san out of jealousy! In fact, you planned to kill Sawamoto-san as well!"

"But Sawamoto is still alive!"

"Indeed, but that is only because of a fatal error in your plans, Miyamoto-san!"

"A fatal error? What do you mean, Takamoto-tantei?"

"I mean, Miyamoto-san, that you forgot Sawamoto-san is a vegetarian!"

"Noooooo!"

"...this movie sure sucks, doesn't it, Conan-kun?"

Kaito peered over at his young companion, tiny body curled up on the couch and eyes glued to the television screen. Without looking away from the movie, Conan raised a small hand and motioned for Kaito to be quiet. Kaito simply sighed in response. Who would've thought that after solving three murders and two kidnappings in a single day, Conan would still be enraptured by such a C-list murder movie.

As the credits started rolling onscreen, Conan finally tore his eyes from the television and made to stretch. As soon as he lifted his arms, though, he pulled them back down and shivered. Why was the house so cold in the middle of summer? Conan blinked sleepily for a few moments before he realized.

"Ah! I never turned the air conditioner off!"

Kaito glanced at him, amused. "Well, why don't you put the movie away, and I'll turn AC off."

Conan gave him a bleary stare before nodding and shuffling over to the DVD player. Kaito's 'day of fun' coupled with the host of crimes they'd encountered had seriously taken a toll on his seven-year-old body. Although he'd be lying if he said he hadn't enjoyed traipsing around Beika with the Kaito, the shrunken detective was exhausted. Once he had stuck the DVD back in its case, he curled back up on the sofa and closed his eyes.

"Sorry Conan-kun, it took me a while to figure out your thermo—"

Kaito paused mid-sentence to stare at the younger boy. Already half asleep, Conan was huddled on one side of the couch, arms around his legs and his glasses askew. For a moment, Kaito stood there, wondering if he should wake the boy or not. Soon enough, he came to a decision and gently shook Conan. Sleepy blue eyes gazed quizzically at Kaito, and it took all the teen's willpower not to coo like a demented grandmother. Instead, he let a familiar smirk take over his face.

"Hey Conan-kun, you look kind of cold. Wanna use me as your blanket?"

"Mmm...mmhm."

Conan closed his eyes again before Kaito's words really registered with his drowsy mind.

"Mmm, that sounds good.."

Kaito grinned. A sleepy tantei-kun was the best tantei-kun. "Oh? It sounds good, does it?"

"Mm...hmm...hmm? Wait- what? That doesn't sound good at all!"

Conan shot up, all traces of sleepiness gone, only to find himself... in his own bed? He was dressed in his pajamas, and sunlight was filtering in from around the curtains. He rubbed his face as he threw his blanket aside. "I could've sworn I fell asleep on the couch...was that all a dream?"

He padded over to the bathroom, and in the middle of brushing his teeth when a familiar chime sounded. "Ah, hold on! I'm coming!"

Shaking off a sense of déjà vu, Conan hurried down stairs to answer the door. He turned the air conditioner on with the press of a button, (it was already set at twenty degrees, awesome!), rushed past the television, (he noticed a DVD case lying on the couch- Death By Pork, the cover said), and opened the door to see...

"Good morning, Conan-kun! I'm Nakamori Aoko, remember? I was busy yesterday, but I'll be taking care of you for the rest of the week!"

(Conan didn't know why, but he felt strangely disappointed to see Aoko, and not a certain someone else...)

Apology Corner!

Remember when I said I'd update within a week? Remember how one week turned into nearly one year? Yeah...I'm really sorry about that! I actually intended to post a bunch of chapters over the summer, but that never happened either. On another note, this is the first time Conan's properly met Kaito! Will Conan discover Kaito's secret?! (Probably...)

So once again, I am truly, truly sorry for not posting, and I hope you will continue to support this fic!

Please rr, ff, and keep suggesting some pickup lines!