"you cradled your heart all your life with such care, and when the day came for you / to hand it to another, it shattered like glass in their grip. they did not mean to hurt you, you know. / they just wanted to hold on, afraid it will slip through their fingers like sand." -angelicxi

Asahi grew up with three older brothers, and an elder sister who watched over all of them with eagle eyes and iron words. He was at least five years younger than all of them, and they often had trouble figuring out whether they should baby him or tell him about how things were in a way that adults could never bring themselves too.

His sister was almost a decade older than him, and she looked at his gentle giant mannerisms and sighed through her nose so very slowly. Some of the children from his grade had run away from him again, thinking him an older student visiting the grounds for a little sibling. It made his heart ache. She had been the one to pick him up today, and so she had seen the puffy red eyes and snotted sleeves.

"Find a place to be strong," Her advice rung in his ears for years until volleyball found him in middle-school. But even so, his heart quaked unless he was being the Ace his team so desired. Shoulders hunched as he grew taller than his siblings, trying to shrink back down to the days they towered over his world. He forgot the last part of that advice over time. "Your heart won't survive if you don't."

Nishinoya came blazing in his second year of highschool, and his breath caught at the confidence in that tiny frame. A thought flickered across his mind that if they could only switch places... But they couldn't and Nishinoya would never want to in the first place. It was silly to wish for that.

What was he supposed to do with Nishinoya's certain gaze? How could he avoid being cornered in the locker room and chattered at, listening to the encouraging, brazen words that Nishinoya saw in him? Why did he grip Nishinoya's neck when the boy seemed down? So many questions. No answers he dared to find.

Of course his sister picked up on his first love, despite only being back for a visit. She stood half a head shorter than him, still formidable in height but more so in presence. Her job as a policewoman suited her.

"Who's Yuu?" She'd asked him after palming through the bookshelf in his room. Red leached into his face, and he swallowed, not even able to croak through the silence that choked him. Her glance was half lidded and patient. "You talk of him so sweetly, even though you describe him as much... bolder, than the others who pushed into your life."

"H-he's just a teammate! I barely know him!" His voice was shrill but still too quiet.

"Oh, I don't know about that. Yuu loves seasalt icecream, is the best libero you've ever seen, has a fascination with all sorts of reptiles, falls asleep in English and History and Science but has the best Math notes you've ever seen, and makes a point to talk to you everyday even after the insane practice your coach puts you through." Asahi spluttered, clutching a pillow tight to his chest as he leaned back into the wall and avoided her gaze. "I've only been here about a day, and you've already told me all of that. I think he likes you a lot. Do you think you'll give him a chance?"

And Asahi does give him a chance. Quietly hands over his glass heart and pretends he hasn't stuffed it in lunch boxes and careful gestures. He does it so well he's not sure Nishinoya even notices, though Suga side-eyes him worriedly.

It's just too bad the broom incident had happened, and his heart had shattered- but it was his own fault. Nishinoya wasn't wrong- and he still had his broken little heart, even though it hurt so much. Not that Nishinoya knew it.

Nishinoya is suspended, and Asahi for the first time in almost a year, is left to the silence. Suga tries to help, and Daichi does too. It doesn't work.

He tries to quit volleyball, but of course he's dragged back into by a feisty first year and stays because he can't bear leaving Nishinoya, can't give up the only place he felt strong. He briefly wonders if Nishinoya would give up his heart to Asahi someday.

So he leans into Nishinoya when they talk. He buys him ice cream after he wastes his meager allowance on treating his favorite underclassmen. Lets Nishinoya sleep on him during the rides back. Works hard to be the best Ace he can be. Tries to be worth some affection before he graduates.

It is warm like the sun when he stands beside Nishinoya. Maybe...

Graduation comes too soon. He stands there after the ceremony is over, fingers gliding over the second button of his gakuran that he's already ripped off and hid in his pocket just in case. Stupidly, he's also found the one from his middle school uniform and brought it with him.

Tanaka notices it's gone first, and Asahi swears he sees Nishinoya's face morph into something demonic for half a second before he's all smiles and elbowing Asahi to find out who took the button. The others laugh and join in, but Daichi has narrowed eyes and Kageyama is staring at him with his head cocked to the side and furrowed brows.

Suga actually provides a good distraction that allows him to pull Nishinoya aside- which is to say, he goes and kisses Daichi right there in the middle of the crowd, much to the delight of the team. There were many screams of 'I knew it!' and 'Pay up!' that mask him grabbing the back of Nishinoya's jacket and almost dragging him to a far more secluded spot.

Asahi feels like he's sweating bullets when they finally come to a stop, wringing his hands and avoiding Nishinoya's piercing gaze. It's okay, all he has to do is... is...?

"Come on, Asahi, I'm not gonna bite you. What's up?" Why does he sound so sad?

The buttons are in his hand before he knows it, and he reaches out to take Nishinoya's thin hand in both his own. Pressing the buttons into his palm, Asahi's eyes flicker up to glance and Nishinoya's face. There's confusion, the curiosity, and then surprise when he finally sees them.

"This is-?"

"Sorry, I'm sorry," Asahi quickly says before pressing a soft kiss to Nishinoya's temple. "Goodbye." And then Asahi leaves before Nishinoya can respond, going to find his family so he can go home and freak out about the audacity he'd managed to gain for a brief moment.

It really shouldn't have surprised him to find Nishinoya had managed to make it all the way to his house by begging Sayeko and Tanaka, charmed all his older brothers and his parents effortlessly, and made his way to Asahi's room after getting directions from his sister of all people. He was never one to give up when he wanted answers.

"So, your sister says you call me Yuu," Is all he hears behind him before he shrieks and falls out of his chair. He stares up into mirthful golden eyes while awkwardly splayed on the ground. "And that you gush about me to anyone who'll listen."

"I don't-" But his mouth stops working when Nishinoya settles on top of him, settling himself dangerously low on Asahi's abs.

"If only you were that bold in front of me," Nishinoya playfully sighed, leaning forward and bracing himself with one arm on either side of Asahi's head. "We'd have figured this out a long time ago." Asahi swallowed and noted the way Nishinoya's eyes followed his adam's apple.

"So... We can still figure it out?" The hope in his tone made him wince.

"Mm-hmm. It's very easy, you see. All you have to do is say you'll go out with me!"

"You want to go out with me?" And Nishinoya's gaze turned fierce at the incredulity in his tone.

"I want a lot of things. I want to see you everyday for the rest of my life, I want to make you laugh more often, I want to lick your stupidly perfect sculpted abs, I want you to stop worrying I'll leave if you say something, I want you to keep making me food, and I want to take you back to my empty apartment and fuck you hoarse." Asahi let out a strangled keening noise and Nishinoya's eyes softened. "Which would all be so much easier if you'd date me. I mean, seriously? Handing me both of your buttons and kissing my temple before running off? You're just asking to shatter your glass heart. But that's okay, because I'll be here to keep it safe if you'll just let me."

Asahi's flushed beet red all the way down his neck, and his mind is scrambling to process if he really had heard a marriage proposal hidden in all those words, but he manages to agree somehow because Nishinoya's got the brightest grin on his face before leaning in and sucking on his bottom lip.

It takes them a few minutes to untangle themselves and remember that oh yeah, there are other people in the house and they probably shouldn't go much further. At least while they were here. And Nishinoya sticks to his side like he belongs there, and his body tingles, oversensitive at every touch but still hoping for more.

Nishinoya wasn't trying to hurt him, after all. His grip was just tight with residue fear that Asahi would second guess himself and leave. But Asahi was too selfish for that now.