Earned It Chapter 3 – Sinners

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my plot and my own characters. All rights over characters of the TV show Arrow belong to DC Comics and CW Television. All rights over this idea and its concepts belong to me. This work is intended for the private enjoyment of the reader and is not to be shared on any other sites (besides AO3 and FF) or events without our express permission.

A/N: Hi everyone! I am sorry for the delay, but RL has been insane! Between my work as a Science teacher, writing my thesis and getting one of my Scientific Papers published, writing had been a challenge!

But the new chapter is here and I hope you will all enjoy this chapter!

I want to thank my dear friend, TheAlternativeSource, for her work as my beta reader and for going into another journey with me.

As always, the links for the Polyvore sets are on my profile page.

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PoisonAngelMuse

Music – Sinners by Lauren Aquilina

The rules say our emotions don't comply

But we'll defy the rules until we die

So let's be sinners to be saints

And let's be winners by mistake

The world may disapprove, but my world is only you

And if we're sinners then it feels like heaven to me

You showed me feelings I've never felt before

We're making enemies, knocking on the devil's door

And how can you expect me not to eat

when the forbidden fruit tastes so sweet?

So let's be sinners to be saints

And let's be winners by mistake

The world may disapprove, but my world is only you

And if we're sinners then it feels like heaven to me

Our hearts are too ruthless to break

Let's start fires for heavens sake

Felicity Meghan Smoak was born surrounded by love and wealth.

She was the result of a loving marriage, the only daughter of technology entrepreneur William 'Bill' Smoak and his college sweetheart, Donna Smoak.

While she was as bright and fearless as her father, she was also kind and generous as her mother.

She was the kind of woman that never broke a promise.

Yet, she broke the only one she couldn´t break.

She fell in love when she promised she would not.

She broke their one rule.

The day she said those words, it was the end of them.

The end of something that could never be.

The mansion gardens were filled with sounds of laughter and joy.

Under an old oak tree, Bill Smoak pushed his only daughter on her small wooden swing.

The little 8 year old girl burst into giggles , holding tightly onto the ropes of the swing.

"Higher, daddy! Higher!" Felicity shouted.

"Are you sure, honey?" Bill teased, pushing a bit stronger with each move of the swing.

"Yes, daddy!" Felicity said with a large smile.

"Careful, Billy." Donna said, filled with motherly worry, next to the large trunk of the tree.

"Remember what happened the last time?"

"She learned her lesson, didn´t you Lissy?"

"Yes, daddy." Felicity said, remembering the last time she asked to go faster in the swing and she end up falling down and breaking her arm. It was a boring summer after that.

"Will you hold tight?" Bill asked her between pushed.

"Yeap" She said with a large smile, showing the teeth she had lost a few days ago.

"Billy" Donna said apprehensive, watching as Felicity moved higher in the air.

"She will be fine, darling" Billy said with a charming smile, as Donna laughed. "Won't you, Lissy?"

"If she breaks her arm again, you will be the one that will hold her as she cries at the hospital," Donna said, remembering how devastated Felicity had been, begging for her father while she was at the hospital, but Bill was in Japan at the time.

"Don't stop, daddy. Please!"

"Never" He said with a smile, while Donna laughed at them, and went back to reading her book.

Felicity loved those moments.

When it was only her and her parents. The rare quiet moments.

They would spend hours together, playing around the mansion, swimming, reading or watching their favorite movies. Sometimes they would travel to a distant place; somewhere no one would bother them. They would enjoy each other's company, only the three of them, like any other family.

But the Smoak's weren't any family.

There were always responsibilities and appointments. There were assistants, employers and security teams. Her father was constantly working, always focused on a new project, a new form of technology that he was developing, or on the family company. Even when he was right there with them, his mind was away.

And as time passed, Bill got even busier, and the time that he could spend quietly with his family got fewer and fewer, until they were so rare that Donna had told him she would take Felicity and leave him if he kept that way.

"Excuse me, Mr. Smoak." A tall man wearing a suit said from a distance.

"Yes, David" Bill asked, not turning back to look at him.

"You have a call, sir."

"Can't you see that I am busy?" Bill hissed irritated to have his time with his wife and daughter interrupt. "Ask Rachel to take the call."

"Rachel was the one that asked me to bring you the phone sir." The man explained, holding a phone on his hands. "She said it's urgent."

"I am sure she did." Bill whispered, knowing how his personal assistant acted. "Tell her to take the call. I will call whatever back later"

"It's an urgent call from Hong Kong."

"Hong Kong?" Bill asked, his tone filled with worry.

"Yes, sir."

"Why didn't you said that before?" He hissed. "Give me that phone."

"Billy" Donna shouted, as Billy let go of the swing to take the call. "You promised."

"David, can you push Lissy for me, please."

"Of course, Mr. Smoak." David said, walking towards the swing.

"Daddy, no!" Felicity bawled. "You said you would play with me today"

"It's just one call, sweetheart," Bill said, while David moved to push Felicity on the swing. "I will be back in a second."

"Billy." Donna screeched, exasperated.

"Donna, not now" Bill said, before walking away phone in hand.

"Daddy" Felicity whispered, watching as her father disappeared from view, not even noticing how high David was pushing her.

"David, you may stop now." Donna said, getting up and removing her shoes. "I got it from here."

"Of course, Mrs. Smoak." David said, moving away as Donna replaced him on the swing, and moving to a safe distance, so he could watch over them but still give them privacy.

They stood in silence for a few moments until Donna could clearly see Felicity small body slightly shaking with the little girls tears.

"Oh, honey" Donna said, moving to slow down the swing, and crouching in front of her daughter. "Don´t cry, Lissy"

"He promised! He promised me, mommy"

"I know, honey," Donna said, moving her fingers against Felicity tear stained cheeks.

"Why is he always breaking his promises?" Felicity asked, between sobs.

"He doesn't mean to." Donna tried to explain. "Sometimes, grownups have to make hard decisions. Your dad loves you very much, Felicity. More than anything on the world. But sometimes he has to go and make decisions that will affect other people's lives. But that doesn't mean he doesn't love you."

"I wish he would stay with us." She whispered, feeling dejected.

"So do I, honey." Donna muttered, running her hands over her daughter long blond hair. "But I promise you something"

"What?"

"I will never leave you." Donna mumbled, her eyes filled with sadness. "Not even in one million years."

"Pinky promise?" Felicity asked her mom.

"Pinky promise." Donna whispered, as Felicity jumped on her arms, sobbing.

That day Felicity finally understood that not everyone kept their promises like her mom did.

Not everyone understood the weight of their words.

The Winsor Academy, a private school for girls, was Felicity definition for Hell.

What 17 year old wants to study in an only girl's school, and be stuck during years with the stuck up elite of Starling City?

While Felicity hated the mere idea of attending it, her father thought it would be the best solution to fix her problems with authority figures. Like any teenager, Felicity had been going through a rough phase, and while listening to rock bands and dying her hair had been accepted by her parents as part of it, getting in fights and being expelled from her last High School was not. Her punishment had been The Winsor Academy.

She had been there for the past three months, and while she had made some friends, she couldn't fully connect with almost anyone there. None of her friends seem to understand why she had so much anger inside of her, or why she simply couldn't accept things as they were. She always had a strong personality and a lack of filter, always saying the first things that came on her mind. While it was considered cute while she was a child, it became rude as she grown up, and right now, it was what caused her to be waiting in the principal's office.

Is not as if she did want to get into an argument with her English teacher again. She just didn't understand why they wouldn't study Sylvia Plath instead of reading about Hemingway all over again. All she pointed out what how misogynist society was. Yet, here she was, waiting to be lectured again about her ill-tempered and her issues with male authority.

"So, what did you do?" A voice asked her, breaking Felicity from her thoughts. "Did some satanic ritual on the school gym?" A blonde asked, her tone filled with sarcasm as she eyed Felicity dark hair and heavy makeup. "I wouldn't judge you if you did."

"Sadly, not today" Felicity said acidly, crossing her arms against her chest. "But it still early"

"Sassy, I like it" The blonde said with a raised eyebrow. "I am Sara Lance by the way".

"Felicity Smoak" She replied, shortly.

"Smoak? As in daughter of William Smoak? Owner of Smoak Inc.? The tech guy?"

"The one and only" Felicity whispered bitterly.

"Oh, daddy issues." Sara said with a smirk. "I can see we are about to get along just fine, Smokie."

"Smokie?"

"Yes, Smokie" Sara said with a large smile. "Come on, it's cute." Sara said with a laugh, making Felicity roll her eyes at the other blonde.

"You are like this with everyone or is this behavior only for strangers you meet at the principal's office."

"But we are not strangers anymore, we are practically BFF. Bonding over our tendencies to get in trouble. Basically Thelma & Louise"

"You are weird."

"I have been called worse." Sara said with a shrug.

Before Felicity could reply, the door opened, revealing Damien Darkh, The Wistor Academy principal.

"The two of you, in my office, now." Damien said, before rushing back to his office.

"See, even being lectured together. BFFs" Sara said with a smirk, as they walked inside the Principal's office.

The large office, faced the large field of the Academy, and the dark wooden panels on the doors made the room feel claustrophobic. A large desk sat in front of the large window, two chairs in front of it. Damien Darhk sat on the desk, his blue eyes cold and distant.

"Ms. Lance and Ms. Smoak. I don't have the entire day." He said shortly, pushing his hands against the dark wood desk.

Sara walked slowly and sitting down in the chair as she owned the place. It clearly wasn't her first time.

While it also wasn't Felicity first rodeo, she knew that Principal Darhk despised her, but she had promised her mother that she would try to stay out of trouble, and she always kept her promises.

"So I see you two trouble makers are now acquaintance." Damien stated, clearly unsatisfied with it.

"Thanks to you, Mr. Darhk." Sara said with a sassy smile.

"Don't start with me, Ms. Lance. You know I won't tolerate any more of that behavior."

"I was just trying to explain it. Respectfully" Sara said, her face showing exactly what she thought about it.

"I don't even know where to start with you two." Darkh said, fuming over the two teenagers.

"You, once again being disrespectful and contesting your teacher decisions and authority" He said, pointing to Felicity. "And you, Ms. Lance, fooling around with another student in the school library."

"What can I say? The girl can't resist this pretty face," Sara said sarcastically.

"We already discussed this, Ms. Lance. Is extremely forbidden to engage in intimate relationships in the Academy."

"Maybe you should tell the other girl that." Sara replied. "Or is just because she is a Senator's daughter that she gets a free pass?"

"Ms. Lance, I would stop right there if I were you"

Sara held back on the snarky comment that was on the tip of her tongue, knowing she was on a thin rope, Damien was waiting for a good reason to expel her, and while she couldn´t wait to get out of this place, she knew her father wouldn't exactly approve it.

Damien took a long breath, holding tight on the edge of the wood desk, controlling his irritation with the duo.

"The both of you have bad tempers and lack of respect for authority. Every week I have complains about both of your behaviors and I am sick of seeing both of your faces in my office." Damien hissed.

"We both know that this is pointless. You two will never change and I am done wasting my time on you two. Do I look like I am the kind of men who waste time?"

"No sir." Sara and Felicity replied.

"You are both lucky to have such important fathers. Both of them are Sponsors of this school and that is the only reason that both of you are still here. Personally, I wouldn't give a damn about losing the sponsorship as long as I got rid of the two of you." Damien said, not hiding his displeasure. "But sadly, the board wouldn't appreciate it. And so, I will have to endure both of your presences. But I am warning the two of you, I can make both of your lives much harder than it has to be. So make all of us a favor, and stay out of my sight. Do we have an understanding?"

"Yes, sir." Both girls said.

"Good. Now get the hell out of my office."

The two rushed out of the office and towards the main hall, the empty highway echoing the sounds of their rushed steps and laughter.

"Did you see the vein popping on his forehead?" Sara asked Felicity, as they both rushed towards the large lawn that lead towards the school track field.

"For I moment I thought he was going to have an aneurism right in front of us." Felicity said to her.

"Imagine what daddy dearest would think of that." Sara said with a smirk.

"I am not the only one with daddy issues it seems" Felicity said with a raised eyebrow, as Sara gave her a shrug.

"Guess it's hard to be the imperfect daughter in a perfect family" Sara said, her tone filled with a mix of annoyance and sorrow.

"And here was I thinking I was screw up"

"You have no idea," Sara said, as they reached the track field, sitting down on the bleachers.

"So, who was the girl?" Felicity asked her, as Sara smiled at her.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Sara teased.

"We have at least five Senator's daughter in here. I am sure I will be able to figure out on my own if you don´t tell me."

"I never kiss and tell" Sara said, winking at her.

"Not even to your BFF? You hurt my feelings like this, Lance"

"So now we are BFFs?" Sara asked her with a laugh.

"What can I say? You won me over the Smokie nickname."

"I knew you liked it."

"I guess I am a sucker for pet names," Felicity said with a smirk as Sara laughed.

"And that is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

"But just to make sure, I am not into girls, ok."

"Don't worry Smokie, you are not exactly my type."

"And what is your type?"

"The exotic kind."

"You know, you are making things way too easy for me, right?"

"I am well aware," Sara said with a small laugh.

And just like that, Sara Lance became Felicity rock.

Everything she never knew she needed.

And just like Donna Smoak, Sara lance always kept her promises.

Sara and Felicity were inseparable through the years.

They went through high school together; through boyfriends and girlfriends; through heartbreak and ache. They overcome Sara family shock and denial when she came out as a lesbian. They dealt with their parents overbearing expectations and disappointments. Together, they always felt they could overcome anything that life threw at them.

But when the time for them to go to college came, they chose different paths.

While Felicity had been accepted into the Computer Science program at MIT, Sara had decided to take a year of, to travel through the world and try to find herself. The Lance family disapproved Sara decision, thinking she was reckless and irresponsible, the Smoak's on the other hand, couldn't be more proud of Felicity.

Bill and Donna were relieved and excited to know that their daughter decision, whatever, they had no idea about the real reason behind Felicity choice. While Felicity Smoak always had been bright, having the same passion with technology as her father, it wasn't the only reason she chose to attend MIT.

While Felicity Smoak had been watched her entire life, always surrounded by her parents expectations and public opinion, she had found a way to free herself from the confines that being William Smoak only child brought.

She became Raven.

Raven was just another faceless hacker in the immensity of the deep web. She worked with an anonymous group of hackers to bring down the sick and twisted users that enjoyed the anonymity of the internet to do as they pleased. The more she worked with the group, more she found herself immersed in another world, where no one knew who she was.

Felicity found freedom into being someone else. Being Raven was cathartic, hacking came as second nature to her, and finally she felt a place where she belonged. Where she could be herself and not William Smoak daughter.

It wasn't that surprising that at MIT she just got deeper into that world.

There she met Cooper, a fellow student and hacker that had a hatred for rules and life expectations. The moment they met, it was almost as they were magnets, and there were an instantaneity attraction. But it was much more than sex; they had the same sarcastic sense of humor and wicked mind. Cooper saw her, her true self, and not the version the world seemed to see. He saw what she thought people would only see at Raven.

Their relationship was intense, filled with passion and fights, and Felicity caught herself doing things she never expected to do. Cooper was charming and seductive, and he knew how to manipulate the situation at his favor. He had her under his spell and he knew it. He took Felicity to a dark path, one that she wish she had never embarked. At the time, she couldn't say no, she wasn't strong enough.

Yet, she never expected him to cross lines that shouldn't be crossed. But Cooper thought he was untouchable, that no rules applied to him, that he could do what he damn pleased. His pride costed him his freedom.

The day Felicity caught him hacking into the federal government and erasing all student loans at the California state, she knew he had gone too far. She tried to stop him, to make him see reason, but he was determinate to act on his own desires. His ambition and arrogance was his doom.

Not two days later, the feds barged into his dorm room and arrested him over endless charges. Felicity watched as the man she thought she loved was taken from her, everything falling apart right in front of her, and she was unable to stop it.

That day changed her life.

While her father influence, and his team of lawyers kept her away from prison, it did nothing for the MIT board, who were ashamed of such scandal happening on their grounds. They expelled her. Not bothering to listen to her explanation.

Felicity watched while her future burned, leaving nothing but ashes of pain, regret and shame.

"You have two days to leave the premises Mrs. Smoak." The MIT dean said, showing there was no room for contest. "Do you understand me? The university won't press charges, as agreed with the FBI. But you are no longer a student here. Are we clear?"

"Yes, sir." Felicity whispered, her voice broken, as her lawyer nodded in agreement.

"I expected much more from you than this, Ms. Smoak." The Dean said, filled with disappointment. "We all were".

"Ms. Smoak agreed to the terms. Her parents will make sure that she leave as soon as possible." Her lawyer said, closing her briefcase.

"Good" The dean said shortly.

"May we speak with our daughter for a moment, please? I would appreciate some privacy." Bill said, from the other side of the room where he and Donna had been standing.

"Of course, Mr. Smoak." The Dean said with sympathy. "Take your time." He said, closing the door after him.

Bill took a deep breath as Donna couldn't hold back her aching sob.

"Mom!" Felicity mumbled her tone filled with tears.

"Oh, Lissy!" Donna said, hugging Felicity. "What did you do, honey?"

"Mom, is not what it looks like" Felicity tried to explain, watching the broken look on her mother's eyes.

"Really, Felicity? Cause it looks like you and your boyfriend had been hacking into a Federal system." Bill fumed, his face filled with disappointment.

"Dad, I can explain…"

"Explain what, Felicity?" Bill snapped. "The crimes you committed? The worry? The shame? Is this all a game to you? Do you have any idea of what you two did?"

"Billy!" Donna shouted, shocked to hear those words leaving her husband mouth.

"Of course not! What kind of person you think that I am?"

"I don't know, Felicity." Bill ranted. "I don't know who you are anymore."

"Really, dad?" Felicity sneered at the irony. "You want to play it like that?"

"Don't you start with me Felicity." Bill said sitting down, pushing his glasses away from his face. "I did what I thought it was best for this family. You and your mother are the most important thing in my life. Every decision that I took was thinking of you and your mom. In our future."

"You have no idea what is best for me. You don´t know me. You haven't been around enough to know me."

"Lissy, don't say things like that." Donna mumbled horrified.

"No, Donna. Let her. Let's hear what Felicity has to say." Bill whispered, watching as angry tears formed on his daughter's eyes. "Let's hear what she has been holding back for years."

"You know, when I was a kid I used to think that it was my fault that you were always away? I used to think that maybe I wasn't good enough. I wasn't smart enough, or polite or brave enough. Maybe my grades weren't good enough. Maybe I wasn't the child you expected me to be. So I tried to be. I tried to be more as I thought you wanted me to be. Because I thought that if I was, you would chose us for a change. You would stay with us."

"Felicity…" Bill whispered.

"No, dad!" Felicity cried. "I spent most of my life thinking that I wasn't good enough. Wondering why my father would chose to stay away from me. Do you have any idea of what it feels like?"

"Oh, honey" Donna sobbed, heartbroken.

"When I got older I finally realized that I wasn't the problem, but that you were. You were too busy, too self-centered to pay any attention in your wife and your daughter. Too busy thinking you were doing the world some favor, that you would be some kind of savior, some kind of hero. But I never wanted a hero; all I wanted was my dad."

"Lissy…" Bill murmured, guilt filling his eyes.

"Where were you when I had nightmares? Where were you when I learned how to ride a bike? Where were you in every ballet recital? In every science fair? Where were you when I had my first heartbreak? Where were you when I needed you the most?"

"Honey" Donna sobbed, trying to intervene.

"No, mom. He needs to hear this. He need to know what he did to us." Felicity hissed. "You weren't there dad. You were too busy with your company to be with your family. I grow up and you weren't there. No matter how many times you promised me you would be, you never were. Until there was a day, I realized you would never be. I accepted that my dad would never pick me."

"Oh baby…" Donna wept, heartbroken to listen to her daughter painful confession.

"But mom…oh mom was always there. Always. She was my rock. She always made sure to make up for your absence. To be the parent that I needed her to be. She always put me first. No matter what, she always made sure to make me feel that I was loved. No matter how much she was hurting. That is unconditional love. Sadly, not every parent knows that I guess"

"Felicity" Bill whispered, hurt.

"No, you don't have the right. Not anymore." Felicity sobbed. "You have been absent most of my life and I am done trying to make you stay".

"Honey, don´t say things like that." Donna hushed. "Your father love us. He may not be perfect. I know he made many mistakes. He hurt both of us. But don't let that get in the way, you don´t know…"

"Donna, don´t…" Bill groaned, stopping her. "Felicity is right."

"Billy" Donna begged.

"You are right Felicity. I spent most of my life trying to make a difference. I thought that my work at Smoak Inc. was going to make a difference in the world. I thought I would be able to help people. I wanted to make the world a better place" Bill explained, his tone filled with sadness. "I dedicated my entire life and career to this one goal. But in the process I end up losing myself. I end up losing the thing that I loved and cared the most." He said, looking between his wife and daughter.

"Yeah well, we don't always get what we want, do we?" Felicity said cynically.

"I know that I will never be able to make amends. I will never be able to get back the time I lost. I know that. I will never be the father that you deserve. But that doesn't mean that I will stop trying to do the best that I can. I promise you that."

"You know dad, you never kept your promises." Felicity whispered bitterly. "Your words mean nothing to me."

"Lissy, please. Give your father another chance…"

"Mom, we both gave him too many chances." Felicity hissed.

"Felicity, you can hate me as much as you want, but I won't allow you to throw your life away like this. I am your father and I love you. I won´t stand and watch while you lose yourself. This is not who you are. You are better than this."

"Too late for that" Felicity whispered, using the back of her hand to dry her tears. "I guess we both will have to live with our disappointments then." Felicity hissed.

"Felicity." Bill whispered painfully. All he wanted was to make things right with his baby girl while he still could. But it was too late. The damage was done. He has lost her.

"I am done." Felicity said, grabbing her backpack and walking towards the door. "I just can't do this anymore"

"Felicity where are you going?" Donna asked despairingly, making Felicity stop at the door.

"I don't know. All I know is that I can´t stay here. Not anymore."

"Honey, please." Donna begged.

"I will be ok, mom." Felicity said with a sad smile. "I just need some time."

"Lissy, let's us help you." Bill said, in a desperate attempt.

"I don´t need your help, dad. I don´t need you at all." Felicity said coldly. "Not anymore."

Felicity kept her promise to her father.

The very next day she had gathered all her things and disappeared without leaving a trail behind.

She would spend the next year traveling the world along with Sara, trying to heal the minds of her broken spirit.

They had been staying for the past few weeks in Rome when she received the call that would change everything.

Her father was dying.

Bill Smoak had changed the world in many ways, but there was nothing that Science could do to save him.

No money on the world was able to buy him more time. The lung cancer had took his life away was devastating, breaking the brilliant man that was William Smoak.

He had battled the cancer for the past year, and his final wish was to be able to ask for his daughter forgiveness. To see her one more time before his time was done.

And Felicity had come back when her father needed her the most.

She spent the last few days of her father's life by his side. In a way, both of them made their peace with each other on those final moments together.

In his final moments, all he asked was for his wife and daughter to carry on with their lives, to be happy.

Bill passed away on his sleep, with his wife and daughter by his side, after begging for both of them forgiving him for his mistakes.

Felicity overwhelmed with guilt and grief promised her father that his work wouldn´t die with him. She would keep Smoak Inc. alive.

But Bill had never asked her for this. All he wanted was to see his daughter happy.

But Felicity had made a promise.

And she never broke a promise.

"Knock, knock." Sara said from the door of Felicity office.

"Sara." Felicity said startled, looking from the stack of documents in front of her. "That's a surprise."

"Smokie, you know me. I just love to surprise my BFFs," Sara said with a coy smile, walking inside the office and closing the door behind her.

"I thought I was your only best friend." Felicity beamed.

"That is why that I have to keep on doing it. You are the only option that I have." Sara chuckled, sitting in front of Felicity modern office desk.

"You know, your words just makes me melt. I feel so special now."

"I know right? I just can't help myself." Sara said, amused.

"Now, seriously. What do I owe the pleasure of your presence in the middle of the afternoon?" Felicity asked, putting her pen down on top of the documents she had been reading.

"Can't I check on my best friend?"

"Really, Sara?" Felicity asked, knowing that Sara was there for a reason.

"Fine. Your mom called me last night." Sara explained, pushing her arms against the white leather chair.

"No." Felicity said, exasperated. Her mother was overreacting and overstepping her limits, as always.

"Yeap."

"Why?"

"She is worried about you." Sara explained, her expression showing that Donna Smoak had got to her.

"I am fine. My mom is just overprotective. You know her." Felicity rustled.

"While I am well aware about Donna's overprotective tendencies and her overwhelming worry about you, this time I think she might be right."

"What exactly did my mom told you?" Felicity asked, crossing her arms against her chest.

"She is worried you are working too much."

"Really?" Felicity stated defensively.

"And she is not the only one." Sara said, her tone filled with worry.

"Et tu, Sara?" Felicity said frustrated.

"Come on, Smokie. You know I wouldn't say anything if I wasn't actually worried. You have been going crazy over the past three months. I never saw you working as hard as you are now. You are always here in the office, and even when you are at your apartment, I know you are still focused on your work. You are stressed; your entire life surrounds Smoak Incorporation. I mean, I barely see you anymore."

"If you were missing me, all you had to do was say it." Felicity replied sarcastically.

"Not to mention the lack of social life." Sara responded, raising an eyebrow at Felicity icy tone.

"We both know that I am fine."

"Are you?"

"Of course I am."

"Because to me it looks like you are focusing your entire energy on Smoak Inc. Your entire life now resumes to this company. Felicity, you are so focused into following your father's wishes and dreams that you forgot to follow your own desires." Sara exclaimed, watching how her words affected Felicity.

"That's not fair, and you know it," Felicity whispered, her voice trembling.

"I never said it was." Sara said, holding Felicity hand. "I know that you are doing what you believe it was your father's last wish. But honey, we both know that the thing he would wish the most was your happiness."

"Sara…"

"Ok, ok. I will not bother you with this, if you agree on going out more." Sara said, knowing which battles to pick. The devotion that Felicity had to Smoak Inc. was not one of them.

"Sara, don´t start with this. The last time you and Nyssa tried to play matchmaker…"

"I promise you we aren´t."

"I have no time or desire to get in a relationship. After Cooper and Ray, I am just done with relationships. Clearly I was not cut for them." Felicity rustled bitterly.

"Come on, Smokie. You are a real catch, I am sure there is someone out there that would be the perfect fit for you." Sara said with a hopeful smile.

"You know, after you got engaged with Nyssa you got obsessed with finding me a Prince Charming. I don´t need a man to save me, Sara."

"I know you don´t. You are a warrior. The hero of your own story." Sara replied, knowing this speech too well.

"Damn, right I am." Felicity remarked, pushing her body against her chair.

"But that doesn't mean you have to be celibate for the rest of your life."

"Excuse me?"

"Come on, when was the last time you got laid? I bet it was with 'small dick selfish Ray' and we both know what a huge disappointment that was."

"You know, your worry about my sex life is truly disturbing"

"Your lack of sex life, you mean?"

"Can you talk a bit louder? I don't think that people in the accounting department heard you."

"Come on, Felicity. It has been months. I am sure you are ready to explode any moment now."

"I do have bigger concerns than my sex life."

"I am well aware of that. But that doesn't mean you have to shut yourself out of the possibility of having some fun. Just because you want to remain single, it does not exclude sex from your life. That's why casual sex was invented."

"Sara…"

"Think about it. A hot guy, some great sex, a few orgasms. What's the harm of that?"

"The last thing I need is some idiot going to the press and talk about our 'sexy affair'. I don't need my name dragged to the mud by the tabloids. Not even the best sex in the world is worth of it. I worked way too hard to prove everybody that I am worthy of being where I am."

"But what if you could have all of that? In a way that protect your name and image, of course."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Felicity asked, shocked. "You want me to walk around in bars with a NDA on my purse, ask guys to sign it if they want to have sex with me? Are you insane?"

"Not exactly…" Sara said, biting her lower lip.

"Sara"

"Look, I need you to stay with an open mind for this. Can you promise me to listen until the end and not freak out? But most of all, I need you to promise me you won't get angry with me."

"Now you are starting to freak me out."

"Ok, so a few weeks ago I was at Laurel's apartment, and we were about to go get dinner and I was waiting for her to take her shower, and we both know how long she takes to…"

"Sara, stop stalling."

"Anyway, I noticed how for the past few months she seemed more relaxed you know. And we both know that my sister has a pole stuck in her ass. She is a pain, a workaholic and a freaking perfectionist."

"I am well aware how Laurel is."

"So, I thought that maybe she was dating again. But we both know since Sebastian she swore of relationships."

"So?"

"So… I decided to do some digging. Who knows, maybe she got this magical vibrator or something…"

"This keeps getting more and more disturbing" Felicity whispered, pushing her hands against her face.

"Anyway… I started to look through her stuff while she was at the shower, and that was when I found this," Sara said, getting a small black visit card from inside of her purse.

"What is that?"

"Promise me you won't get mad?"

"Sara…"

"Promise me, Smokie."

"I promise." Felicity said, knowing that Sara needed this confirmation, since she never broke a promise.

"It's a business card," Sara said, handing it to Felicity.

"The Huntress?" Felicity asked, running her fingertips over the simple black card. The name written elegantly with a phone number under it. "What is that?"

"It's a luxury male escort business." Sara explained.

"What?" Felicity asked shocked, almost letting the small card fall down on the floor.

"I know what you are going to say. That is outrageous. It is illegal and degrading. It's against all that we believe in. All that we always fought against."

"I am glad to hear you know me so well." Felicity said acidly.

"But I saw what this did to my sister. I called the number and said that Laurel gave me the card. I talked to The Huntress and she explained how the deal worked. Off course pretty soon, she noticed that I would be more interested in her than in the merchandise she was offering, but still, she guarantee that the business was legit and that you would be completely protected. Your name would never be mentioned. There are contracts, nondisclosure agreements and all of that. She wants her business to remain exclusive and confidential. It's good for the clients and for her."

"Sara…"

"I know my sister had been having dates for a few months now. She is calmer and happier now than I can remember. Of course I rather my sister found a nice guy to settle down, but if this is being good for her, than I am happy she has this option."

"I…"

"I know it's not ideal. I know this is the last thing you would expect to hear from me. But if it helped Laurel, why can't it help you?"

"I don't even know what to say…"

"Just promise me you will think about it."

"Sara."

"Just promise me, please."

"I promise."

"Thank you, that's all I ask."

The small black card haunted Felicity for the next three days.

She knew she should had thrown it on the trash the moment that Sara left her office, but something stopped. She put it inside her purse and decided to forget about it, to throw it away at her home, away from prying eyes. But to be honest, a part of her was curious about what The Huntress had to offer.

It took only a moment of weakness, a very expensive bottle of wine and a terrible meeting with the board of Smoak Inc. to make Felicity cave. She was exhausted, all she wanted was to let it go, even if for a single moment. She was tired of trying to be perfect. To be what everyone expected her to be.

The need to prove herself that she was still the one that called the shots over her life was what made her make the call. Feeling rebellious, she dialed the number, only to find the raspy voice on the other line tempting her.

Felicity didn't remember much of it, but phones were exchanged, NDA signed and a date was set. A party, a masquerade party to be precise, was her chance to see what The Huntress had to offer. Feeling satisfied with herself, Felicity went to bed with a smile on her face.

But when the morning came, regret and shame took place to where was excitement and joy. Felicity felt horrible for even considering paying someone for sex, to degrade a human being like that, to be so lonely and broken to consider such an offer.

Feeling ashamed, she tried to push the idea away, to forget that Sara ever gave her that damn card, but she couldn´t. The idea kept rushing back to her, taunting her.

She was a grown woman, the CEO of a multibillion-dollar conglomerate, yet she couldn't find the guts to go after what she desired. She felt conflicted, torn between what she knew she should do and what she wanted to do.

When the day of the party came, Felicity couldn't stop herself, she gave up to her desires, even if she knew she shouldn't be going down that road.

The truth was that along the way Felicity had lost herself. She had become who she thought it was necessary after her father's death. She took the responsibility of keeping her father's vision alive at Smoak Inc. not considering the weight it would had in her life. She let go of who she was to be who she thought she needed to be. She was nothing but a ghost of the woman that she once was. And just for a night, she wanted to be that woman again, even if it was to lose herself in the arms of a stranger.

Maybe if she lost herself that night, she might figure out how to get back everything she lost in the way.

That night she would be free from being Felicity Smoak. She would be just another masked face in the crowd. Another lost soul, looking for something that was missing.

She would just be.

The night of the party Felicity found the sexiest gown she owned, did her hair and makeup in a sultry way and when she put her mask on, she tried to forget all the reasons to why she shouldn't be doing it.

A driver took her to the penthouse that The Huntress had instructed her to go. The elegant apartment pulsed with the heavy energy of the dancing bodies.

The room was filled with masked men and women, the elite of Starling City that was there to spend a small fortune in sex. But so was she.

Feeling her insecurity starting to creep in, she quickly took a champagne flute from a passing waiter, almost taking the entire drink in one single gulp. The alcohol gave her the extra courage boast she needed to go through with it.

Felicity walked around the party, watching as people danced together, talked intimately and some of them clearly were teasing each other. She saw that there were a private section of the penthouse destined for those who wanted to have a private moment.

The men and woman seemed to be inebriated from alcohol and lust, losing itself into an each other. The men from The Huntress list were all beautiful, with different body types, to please all kind of tastes. They were dressed in tuxedos as most of the men, but they lacked the mask that gave comfort to most of the customers that were enjoying the party. While Felicity could appreciated the beautiful men, no one seemed to strike her fancy, no one that made worth the risk.

She could see a small group of woman ogling a tall blond man that was accompanied to a striking brunette. She could see how she commanded the crowd, keeping their interest, charming them. The man seemed tense, and while she couldn't see his face, she was sure that being there wasn't something that he was enjoying. The brunette that Felicity was sure was The Huntress, kept walking, leading the tall men with her along the lustful crowd.

In a farther corner, she saw a beautiful dark haired men with a charming smile leading a woman that Felicity was pretty sure it was Laurel towards the private area of the penthouse. She was smiling and laughing, something that Felicity hadn't seen her doing in a very long time. Even if pained her to admit, she and Laurel had more in common than she would like to admit.

Feeling depression creeping in, Felicity decided to move towards the bar, for a final drink before going home. She walked towards the crowd, avoiding the unwanted touches from some men and woman that seemed interested in her. With a sad sigh, she sat down at the bar stool and ordered a glass of red wine. She quickly drank the first cup and then a second, barely enjoying the rich flavor of the clearly expensive wine. While the alcohol numbed her senses, it did nothing to fill the emptiness that she had been feeling.

Coming to the party was a mistake. That was not who she was and it was not what she needed.

As the minutes passed, she drank more and more, until everything seemed to faze in the background. Letting the emptiness she was feeling engulf her, until she felt nothing but numbness.

"I thought that people were supposed to have fun at parties." Someone said next to her, breaking her form her dark thoughts.

"Excuse me?" She asked, not sure if the comment was meant to her.

"The whole point of this was to be fun. But you don´t look like you've been having any fun."

"I guess that I don´t fit in the standard party crowd" She said sarcastically, annoyed to be interrupted. "Sorry to disappoint" She hissed bitterly.

"I didn't think you did" He said almost shyly, and she remained silent for a few moments, not particularly fond of talking at the moment, but the men didn't seem to get it.

"So, what's girl like you is doing in a place like this?"

"What?" Felicity asked, annoyed.

"I said: what a girl like you is doing in a place like this?" He asked again, a small smile on his lips.

"Did you really say this, or am I hallucinating?" Felicity asked in a mix of annoyance and disbelief.

"Sadly, I have to admit that the words indeed left my mouth"

"Listen, mister…" She said irritated, turning around to face him, and stopping when she saw him. "Hi." She whispered with a small gasp and a surprised smile. He was not what she expected. The men was tall, with short blonde hair, deep blue eyes, a squared jaw covered with stubble. He had a sweet smile and his eyes had a kindness that she wasn´t expecting. He was gorgeous and unexpected. Different from anything she was hoping to see there tonight.

"Hi" Oliver said with a sweet smile, almost shy.

"That was a terrible pick up line," Felicity said with a small laugh, watching as his face turned slightly red with embarrassment. She liked that.

"I'm well aware of that," He said with a self-conscious laugh, as he took a gulp of his scotch.

"I'm sure you can do much better than that," She teased.

"I would like to think so." He said with a smile. "But I must admit I am a bit out of practice"

"Really?" She asked him, shocked. A man like him would had no trouble finding a partner. Why hadn´t him? "Are you recently single?" She asked, suspicious.

"Something like that." He said with a flirty smile. "Let's just say that I have been out of the market for a while."

"A loner? I would never guessed," She teased. "Broken hearted?"

"Nah" He said with a shrug. "I guess I needed some time on my own."

"Now that I can relate too," She said, her romantic life a clear example of epic failure. Staying single had been the best choice for her. She hadn't felt the need to change it, until now. "Yet, a man that chooses to remain alone," She said with fake shock. "And here I thought you were a dying species."

"Let's just say that I haven't met anyone worth putting myself out there. But I feel like it's time to make a change" He flirted.

"Really? And what brought this up?" She asked him, with a challenged tone.

"I don't know. I think it has something to do with a mysterious blonde with blue eyes and a gentle smile."

"Lucky girl"

"I'm Jonas, by the way." He said, offering his hand to her.

"Meghan" She said, shaking his hand. She wasn't lying, Meghan was her middle name after all. But what he didn't know, wouldn't hurt him. Besides, she wasn't Felicity Smoak that night.

"So, Meghan. I'm going to ask you again: what a girl like you is doing in a place like this?"

"I have to admit I had been wondering the same thing for the past hour." She said, looking down at her glass, remembering the emptiness she had been feeling all night long.

"I guess we all have those moments, from time to time," He said, taking a sip of his own drink.

"Are you speaking from experience?" She replied with a raised eyebrow.

"Something like that" He teased. "I mean, it's not like someone as beautiful as you needed to be here." He flirted. "I'm sure there are endless men dying to take a gorgeous woman like you to dinner."

"Who said I wanted to be taken to dinner?" She whispered, wanting to shock him. She wasn't going to play the good girl cards. Not tonight. She was going to do what she damn pleased, and playing the damsel was not it.

"What do you want, Meghan?" He asked, his tone filled with tension and making shivers ran down her spine.

His hand slowly moved towards her lower back, dancing against the black lace that covered her skin. She had to held back a gasp, as goosebumps started to emerge all over her skin, his touch was electrifying. Holding the glass was the only thing that made her control herself. Jonas was making her feel things she hadn't felt in a real long time. Things she wasn't even sure if she could still feel it.

"We both know what I want." she whispered lowly, her tone teasing as his eyes seemed to dark with desire.

"What?" he asked, breathless.

"I want to dance." she hushed.

"Dance?" He asked confused.

"Take me to the dance floor, Jonas." she whispered, getting up from the bar stool and walking towards the fading lights of the room. She wasn't sure, if he would follow her, but she wanted so badly for him to do it.

The loud music pumped, a sexy beat echoed in the room, as bodies moved together.

Felicity walked towards the middle of the dance floor, her body flowing with the music, as she enjoyed every melody of the song. She moved slowly, pushing her hands up and down in the air, her hips moving with the heavy beat. Her eyes were closed as she lost herself in the music.

Felicity opened her eyes and smiled at Jonas who was moving towards her. She reached for him, and he pushed their bodies closer together, moving as one with the hypnotic beat.

They moved together, pressed from chest to toe, his strong arms holding tight on her, their hips pressed together. They danced in perfect harmony. Moving together, song after song, until a slower beat started.

"Meghan," he whispered his eyes fixed on hers, his hands bringing her body even closer to his.

She knew he could feel the same electrical pull she had. She could feel in the way his hands trembled against her body, on his heavy breathing and on the look on his eyes. They both knew what this was. But he was about to ruin with it broken promises. She didn't need promises, she just needed tonight.

"Don't," she whispered, one of her fingertips moving against his lower lip, silencing him.

She danced her fingertips against his lower lip, unable to stop herself, desperate to touch him. He was beautiful, but he had the saddest eyes she had ever seen and he clearly didn't belong there. He looked like he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders, and she could not stop herself from wondering what had happened to him. She could not deny that she could see so much of herself in him. See her own torments and the weight that she carried. All the things she always tried to hide.

She was tired of overthinking everything in her life. She was so tired to have to be the responsible one. To do everything people expected her to do. She was tired of denying herself of her own desires.

But tonight she wouldn´t deny herself.

Felicity couldn't withhold the undeniable pull between her and Jonas. She didn't want to resist. Not anymore. Even if for just a moment.

She slowly moved towards him, softly pressing their lips together. One small caress.

Jonas gasped, feeling the soft touch of her lips against his own, her hands holding him tightly against her. He softly held her face, while their lips tenderly moved one against the other, in a kiss that was almost chaste.

She panted against his lips, lost in sensation. He felt perfect, almost as he had been made just for her. As if she had been made just for him. He was her perfect fit.

He moaned against her lips, holding her even tighter against his hard body. Their lips parted, and their tongues danced together, moving in synchrony. He danced his hands against her skin, the sensation overwhelming.

Felicity ran her fingers down his strong back, unable to stop herself, digging her nails against the fabric of his jacket. She could feel every inch of his muscular back against her fingertips, it was intoxicating.

Their breathing were heavy, the kiss was intense and overwhelming, in a way that neither one ever felt before. He moaned her name, roaming his hands against her body, sending sparks all over her skin. His hands pressed down her hips and towards her ass, pressing her tighter against his body. She could feel him pulsing against her hips, and it drove her wild to know he desired her.

The kiss was consuming. Perfect. Devastating.

It was everything that Felicity didn't knew she needed. In the arms of Jonas, she never felt more like herself. Like the woman, she used to be. She found herself in the arms of a stranger.

Somehow, he found what she had missed.

"Well, well. I'm glad to see that Jonas has introduced himself." A raspy voice said with a malicious tone, making Jonas tense instantly. Interrupting the moment and making them break apart from their kiss.

"What?" Felicity asked dazed, still holding tightly onto Jonas, overwhelmed by the rush of feelings she had just experienced.

"This one was on the house." The woman said, watching how they held each other tight, lost in each other's touch. "Next time, you will have to pay for it. Call me, if you want to schedule Jonas for next week. But I gotta tell you, he's been really requested tonight."

"Excuse me?" Felicity asked, astonished. How dare she?

"Jonas is the new addiction on my List." The woman explained, as Meghan stood there, shocked. The woman was The Huntress. She was the one that had told her to come and have a taste of her menu. She wanted Felicity to see if any of her escorts pleased her. She was the reason she had come tonight.

"If you want to continue what you two started on the dance floor, all you have to do is make an appointment." The Huntress said with a malicious smile.

"Meghan," Jonas whispered, his tone filled with guilt and regret.

And for the first time, Felicity realized he wasn't wearing a mask. In the middle of the fog of alcohol and his charming ways, she hadn't minded the fact he wasn't wearing a mask. The reason now was evident. He was there tonight working. He was an escort.

"You know my number, Meghan." The Huntress said with a small smile. "I will be waiting for your call." She said with a smirk, before leaving the two of them in the middle of the dance floor.

"Meghan"

"I…" Felicity said tensing on his arms. "I've got to go." She whispered, slowly moving away from him. She needed to get out of there. Now.

"Meghan" Jonas begged, his tone filled with agony.

"Let me go" She shouted, pushing herself away from his arms. She couldn´t be near him. No, this was a mistake. She shouldn't had come.

"I…"

"Just let me go." She said, her voice trembling. She needed to get out of there. She couldn´t bare to look at his eyes one more time; see everything that she needed to see and to know it was a lie.

The night was an illusion; he was paid to create a lie, a lie that would make her satisfied. She had been foolish to fall for it. She had open herself for a stranger, to let him touch her, to make her feel things she knew she shouldn't feel.

He had been everything she needed. Everything she desired.

If it had been in any other place and time, Jonas would had been exactly what she was looking for, her perfect fit.

But it wasn't real. And she shouldn't feel this way. Not the disappointment and especially not this madness. She shouldn't feel like her soul was burning. Yet she did.

She felt the agony and the ache. For the first time in a long time, she felt something other than numbness. All because of him.

But it wasn't real.

It was a dream.

And Felicity didn't believe in dreams.

Not anymore.

A/N: I hope the wait for the chapter had been worth it!

So let me know what you guys think and until next time!

Love,

PoisonAngelMuse