High-society parties weren't an oddity for Clark. After all, he'd had to attend quite a few during his time as a reporter. However, it was usually Lois who dealt with these upper-class (snobby little — no, no, he was Superman; he was supposed to be the nice one) folks.

Lois was currently chatting enthusiastically with the host of the party (Clark couldn't quite remember his name), and Jimmy was standing beside him, fiddling with the lenses of his camera. Clark stood awkwardly to the side, trying his best to look…well, awkward.

And then he saw Batman.

Well, he saw Bruce Wayne…who apparently was Batman. Considering the fact that his teammate was a billionaire, he shouldn't have been surprised to see him here. But, well…this was Batman. At a party. Smiling. And that was…just not normal.

Therefore, he had a perfectly viable reason for jerking upright, eyes wide, and incredulously yelling, "Bruce?!"

Well, at least he hadn't screamed 'Batman'.

Everyone turned to stare at him. Jimmy looked confused; the host of this lovely little get-together (that would probably end with Clark being maimed by Batman) looked confused; Lois looked confused and more than a little murderous.

And Batman…Batman beamed.

"I'm sorry", Beaming-motherfucking-Batman said. "Have we met?"

Clark didn't hear the words. There was a buzzing sound in his ears, and a voice in his head was screaming, 'Batman — smiling — not compatible with each other.'

Lois smiled at Bruce. "Mr. Wayne," she greeted. Her eyes flickered to Clark, and her gaze darkened momentarily. Clearly she wasn't happy about his behaviour. A moment later she was facing Bruce, smiling, and chatting, and looking as cheerful as fucking Batman looked at the moment.

(Ma would be so disappointed by all this mental-swearing).

"Oh no, you must call me Brucie," Bruce insisted.

Clark let out a horrified choking noise. Lois glanced at him, incredulously. Bruce looked amused.

'What is happening, what is happening, what is HAPPENING?!'

"Is he alright?" he murmured to Lois.

Lois frowned. "Smallville? You in there?" she probed.

Clark's mouth opened and close. Without thinking, he pointed shakily at Bruce, his eyes wide. "You — smiling," he choked.

Bruce cocked his head to the side, his brow furrowing. A moment later he smiled, snapping his fingers. "Oh, I see!" he exclaimed. "You've had a little too much to drink, and can't seem to make sense of what's happening! I've done that quite a few times — I remember there was this one time, with this woman…or was it two women? Hmm, perhaps it was even a woman and a man…"

Clark blinked.

"Anyway," Bruce (Batman, this was Batman talking), "go sit yourself in front of a toilet, throw it all up, and come back down and enjoy the party!" With that same (unnatural) grin on his face, Bruce wrapped an arm around Clark's shoulders, and pulled him away from the group. As he passed by, Clark caught sight of the stunned expressions on Jimmy and Lois' faces, and heard Lois frantically hiss, "ask him questions!"

Clark turned to Bruce. "Wha - huh?" he choked.

Bruce leaned in close, his eyes narrowing. The smile faded, and then, just like that, Batman was back (and he didn't even need the cowl — no wonder maintaining his identity depended on all that smiling).

"Close your mouth," he hissed, his tone promising intense pain if Clark didn't comply, "stop gaping, stop gurgling, stop choking, and stop making a fool of yourself, or I'll go down to the Batcave right now and get the Kryptonite."

And then the smile was back.

"Bathroom's that way, Clarkie!" Bruce exclaimed loudly (too loudly, too loudly, and had freaking Batman just called him Clarkie?!), before walking away.

Clark stood still, staring.