Holy shit, my head hurts. Why is my mouth so dry? Fuck, it's hot…

Lucky's eyes felt like they were tied down with lead weights. It took all the effort in the world to pry them open, and with a groan, Lucky took in his surroundings. He was in the back room of the Squid Sisters' studio…

"Oh, shit." Lucky croaked, rubbing his face. Memories of last night rushed into his head unbidden.

Laying on the couch, covered with an absurdly thick blanket, Lucky realized why he was so hot. Tossing the blanket off and twisting to put his feet on the floor, he let out a deep breath. Looking around, Lucky realized his clothes were gone. I left them right there… He cursed again, and wondered if Callie or Marie had taken them to clean. That would have been awfully thoughtful, and Lucky immediately discarded the idea.

Lucky coughed suddenly, and it felt like he was hacking up gravel. Looking around again, Lucky noticed a small mini-fridge, matte black, hidden away in one of the corners. Lucky stood, ignoring the fact that he was naked, and strode to the fridge. He opened it, and almost laughed when he saw that it was filled with nothing but expensive water and sodas. Taking a bottle of fancy mineral water, Lucky cracked it open and downed half the bottle in a few gulps. Sure, Callie and Marie might be pissed at him for digging into their personal stash, but a man has to hydrate.

"Speaking of…" Lucky muttered as he wiped water away from his chin.

Feeling much better, he considered walking out and finding where his two lovely companions went off to. But, he was still naked, and he had no idea what time it was. If he was walking out into a room full of the Squid Sisters' employees, he didn't want to show them everything. Lucky was a fan of tasteful nudity, and showing a bunch of strangers his junk sure wasn't tasteful.

Glancing at the blanket on the couch, Lucky shrugged and threw it around his shoulders, carefully making sure it hid all of his equipment. Satisfied that his dignity - ha! - was intact, he shuffled to the door and slowly opened it, peeking through the crack in the doorway. The stairwell was empty, and Lucky went to the next door and cracked it.

Lucky's eyes narrowed at the sight of Callie and Marie, both fully clothed, talking about something Lucky couldn't make out. They were alone, and the studio was still closed, evidently. Huffing, Lucky threw the door open and shuffled out, less concerned with hiding his shame and more concerned about getting his shit back.

"Hey." Lucky called as he approached. "Where's all my stuff?"

"Oh, shit." Callie breathed. Her mouth was covered, and Lucky wondered if he was supposed to hear that. "Didn't think you'd be up so soon. You were out."

"That's cool," Lucky replied, waving his hand dismissively. "Where's my shit?"

"Dirty." Marie said, her arms crossed and her expression sour.

"What about my phone? My wallet?"

Callie huffed, and took the objects in question from her pockets. "Well, duh, we have those. What do we look like, idiots?"

A couple of sneaky, tricky sluts, more like. But Lucky thought this was a little too mean-spirited, and kept it to himself. "Look, I just want to take my stuff and go home. I need a shower or three, and we all know you don't want me showering here."

Callie put on a hurt look, her hands bunching up over her heart. "You mean, you don't want to spend time with the fabulous Squid Sisters?"

Lucky almost felt bad for a split second, but then realized that she was a master manipulator. "If you wanted to cuddle, we'd all still be naked on the couch."

Marie's eyes rolled. "All your clothes are in the wash." She said dismissively. "They're gonna be in there for a while, so you're just-"

"No, Marie, you know what?" Callie interjected, arms crossed and her expression matching. "If Agent Three wants to go right now, he should."

Both Lucky and Marie gave her a strange look. Callie narrowed her eyes and marched up to Lucky, sweeping the blanket off his shoulders. He was taken aback by Callie's forwardness, and his mind immediately went to the events of last night. Those thoughts were dispelled as Callie shoved his phone and wallet into his hands, circled around him, and began manhandling him towards the door.

"Hey!" Lucky barked, putting up a token resistance. "The fuck?"

"You wanted to leave, right?" Callie whispered huskily.

Lucky sputtered, searching for an answer that would satisfy Callie. "Look, I just want to-"

"Leave! I get it, you don't have to keep repeating yourself." She stopped at the door and stepped to Lucky's side. "Please, don't let us keep you, Three! We'll send you your shorts, but I gave you that shirt, didn't I? I think I want that back." With a smirk straight from hell, Callie unbolted the metal door, threw it open, and pushed Lucky out.

"Callie, seriously, I'm sorry for being a dick, but this isn't-"

The popstar gave Lucky a wink, blew him a kiss, and slammed the door. Through the metal, he could barely hear her call out "Bye-bye, Three! See you at the next briefing!"

Lucky felt himself start to panic. The sun was up, and the streets were likely filling up. It was a quick bus ride to his apartment complex, but a bit of a long walk. There was absolutely no chance of getting out of this situation without being seen, unless Callie changed her mind and opened up.

But things weren't all bad. Or not as awful as Lucky had initially thought. Lucky hadn't noticed during all the commotion, but Callie hadn't pushed him to the front entrance. Instead, he was in the alley beside the studio. Okay, Callie isn't as much of a bitch as I first thought. It seemed that nobody had noticed Lucky yet, and shielding his bare groin from a sudden, chilly breeze, he huddled beside a nearby dumpster. Going out into the plaza was a sure fire way to get himself arrested, and he didn't think the cops would believe that the Squid Sisters had stolen his clothes, nor would Callie or Marie bail him out.

There was a park nearby, full of foliage. It had plenty of cover, and in the morning, probably far less bodies in it than the Plaza. It was a little bit out of the way, but Lucky wasn't too keen on running through the streets in his current state. Taking the long way around was the only real option.

With his mind made up, Lucky went deeper into the alley, which eventually fed out into one of the the smaller back streets of the plaza. Quickly checking to make sure nobody was focused on him, he broke from the alley and made for the dead end of the street. Halfway to the fence, Lucky heard a long, low whistle, and then a chorus of bewildered voices. He didn't stop running, but did spare a glance over his shoulder.

"Looking good!"

"Little cold out for that, isn't it?"

"Hey, nice dick!"

Feeling himself blush, Lucky spared just a second to show the gawking group his favorite finger. "Fuck you!"

A raucous outburst followed, but Lucky tuned it out as he hauled himself up and over the fence. Away from the public eye, he allowed himself to breathe a sigh of relief. Nobody was supposed to be outside the walls of the plaza, near the roads and railroad tracks, and it was a straight shot to Splatterson Memorial Park. Even considering the group that had seen him, things were going pretty well.

Shivering as he caught a breeze, Lucky set off towards the park at a brisk jog. If things continued to go well, the park would be empty, and he could slip through it without a hitch. Navigating the cramped streets of the suburbs and getting to his apartment was going to be a bit tricky, but at least three strangers had already seen his junk today. One or two more probably wouldn't kill him.

The roads were fairly busy, but the concrete barriers on the sides kept Lucky's shame well-hidden. Trains trundled alongside the cars, carrying cargo and passengers all throughout the city. The roads and the tracks split off not far from where Lucky left the plaza, and he followed the railway. It took him straight past the park, and Lucky hopped another fence and found himself crouched behind a bush as tall as he was. Cursing the day's events, he shoved through the branches and peered through the other side. To his chagrin, there were more than a few handfuls of inklings and jellyfish roaming around. Maybe there was some kind of event going on, or maybe some of those poor saps thought it was just a good day to go out, but well over a dozen people floated about.

Grumbling, Lucky began the irritating, scratchy process of skirting around the park, through the bushes, ignoring pokes and stabs from the overgrown foliage. Somebody needs to trim these damn things, he thought, absolutely certain that he was going to be itchy for the rest of the day. It wasn't difficult, but it took time, and Lucky only grew more upset at the situation as more people arrived as time went on. Even worse, they all seemed to be coming from his intended exit, and plenty of them were just standing around. Shuffling into the cover of the bush nearest the exit, Lucky considered his options.

His immediate idea was to make a mad dash for it. Obviously viable, but not the most attractive option. He could have tried to wait it out, but it significantly increased his odds of being spotted by a large group. Plus, who the fuck has time for that? A younger inkling gave Lucky another idea. He was no older than fourteen, and wearing a green parka, so big it looked like it was made for a Kraken. Grinning, Lucky slid his ID and his emergency credit card out of his wallet.

"Psst. Hey, kid." Lucky said, just loud enough to catch the young inkling's ear.

Blinking and looking away from his phone, the youth cast about, utterly oblivious to Lucky's whereabouts.

"Over here. In the bushes." Lucky continued.

Stuffing his phone into his pocket and turning towards Lucky, the young man stepped closer, muttering under his breath. "Uh, yeah..?"

"Want to make a quick buck? Gimme your jacket."

"Sorry?" The youth replied, stepping just a little closer.

"Your coat. I'll pay you for it."

Squinting into the bushes, the young man moved closer still. "How much..?"

"Everything in my wallet."

The youth stopped dead in his tracks, crossing his arms and puffing his chest out. "What's that supposed to mean? Come on, give me a number."

"Look, do you want it or not?"

The young man made a show of looking thoughtful. Evidently, the coat was worth gambling away, and he shucked it and held out his hand. "Fine. It's not that nice anyway. Pay up."

"I need you to come a little bit closer."

"What?" The youth asked, suddenly incredulous. "No way. I've seen plenty of horror movies. You're not dragging me in there."

"Seriously? That's where you draw the line? Just throw your damn coat down, and I'll throw the wallet, okay? On three." Lucky waited for some sign of approval from the young man, and got a small nod from him. "One. Two. Three."

To Lucky's surprise, he threw the coat down on three. Laughing, he reached out and snatched it up. He briefly considered just putting it on and hauling ass out of there, but decided against it. He wasn't that much of a dick. He tossed his wallet down onto the concrete before he put the jacket on and zipped it all the way up. It was certainly serviceable; it reached all the way down to the middle of his thighs, and did pretty damn good job of covering his dangly bits.

The young man stooped over to pick up the wallet, and Lucky knew that this was his cue to get a move on. He burst out of the bushes, valuable stuffed into his pocket, and speed-walked towards the streets.

"Thanks for the coat!" Lucky called, waving over his shoulder without bothering to look back.

There was a short pause, and Lucky briefly wondered if the young man was actually satisfied with the gas station gift card that was left in his wallet.

"You asshole!" Came the youth's voice, assuring Lucky that he wasn't.

Grinning like the smug bastard he was, Lucky broke into a sprint, just to be sure that the young man didn't think of chasing after him. He ignored the dirty and confused looks and focused instead on getting home as quickly as possible. The suburbs were just a short run away, and once Lucky saw picket fences and mailboxes, he knew he was almost home free. His sprint slowed to a jog, and as the suburbs gave way to the tall, crowded shapes of apartments, he finally slowed to a walk. Now that he was where people recognized him, he made more of an effort to not make an ass of himself. At the corner across from his complex, he stopped to put his hood up before continuing on and into the building. His neighbors, an athletic boy with bright eyes, and a cute girl with absurdly pale skin who were either cousins or fucking, were chatting near the mailboxes.

Lucky put his head down and hustled past them and up the stairs. They noticed him enter, and both said some form of hello. Lucky gave them an intentionally mumbled response and a half-hearted wave. They didn't seem to notice his lack of pants until his was up the first flight of stairs.

"Was that guy naked?" The girl asked after a moment, sounding as if she had just realized it.

"Holy crap." The boy replied. So clean. "Hey, buddy!"

"Fuck!" Lucky spat, not meaning to.

When he heard the boy start coming up the stairs, he actually panicked, and cursed again. He flew up the next two flights of stairs, and threw open the door to his hallway. It was empty, thank fuck, and Lucky kicked the door shut behind him, even as he ran to his door and opened it. Closing his door behind him, he slumped against it and sighed in relief. Good thing I don't have shit worth stealing. If the door had been locked, he would have been screwed.

I'm definitely not an exhibitionist, Lucky thought with a laugh.

Shaking his head, he unzipped his new coat and tossed it on the couch. Lucky spent a few moments wondering if he wanted to shower or to take a nap, but both options were swept off the table when he heard somebody knock at his door. With a suspicion of who it could be, Lucky went to his dresser, remembered his clothes were dirty, and cursed.

"Hang on!" Lucky shouted, going to his clothes hamper.

A little bit grossed out, Lucky hurriedly pulled on the cleanest pair of pants and shirt he could find.

He opened the door and was unsurprised when his neighbor was standing there, looking mildly perturbed.

"Hey, uh… You haven't seen anybody weird come by, have you?" He asked, almost nervously.

Lucky put on a confused face. "Uh, no, not really. Weird how?"

The neighbor shook his head and shrugged. "Forget about it."

Lucky was going to press to issue just to sell it, when his other neighbor came up, looking just as flustered as her companion.

"Mrs. Parson hasn't seen anybody." She said.

Looking at Lucky, she flashed him a brief smile, before quickly glancing through his doorway. It seemed like a cursory glance with no ill-intent, but something changed on her face, and she leaned over to whisper something in her companion's ear. His face changed too, for just an instant, before he smiled at Lucky.

"Right. Sorry to bother you over nothing. Have a good day." He said, and the both of them stepped away.

Lucky frowned as he closed his door, wondering what could possibly have prompted such a strange change of attitude. Turning around, he glanced around his apartment, looking for whatever they had seen, and then it hit him.

Laying right there on the couch, for everyone to see.

"Motherfucker!"