Notes from Author:

Hola~ long time no see! It has been a long time since last time I posted something at FF (4 years ago?!)

I totally forgot how to post a story or upload docx =_=a

So here is my attempt to write full explicit fanfict in English. Please beware of some grammar or spelling error here and there (UNBETA'ED)

"Hey, what would you get to give to Hijikata Vice-Commander this year?"

"I dunno maybe some pair of socks or hankie."

"What should I do, I still don't know what to give him."

"Hmm, maybe some high branded lighter will do. Sure vice commander smoke like crazy, he'll appreciate the gift."

"Good's idea. I will give that to him."

So today is 4 May, blossomed spring in the day. Tomorrow is the most anticipate day for Shinsengumi members, hmm not really the most but sure everyone is getting rowdy somewhat. Yes it was Demon-Vice Commander Hijikata Toshiro's birthday. It's not grandiose scheme about to happen at the D-Day, just some drunk party the day before with the commander telling joke and whatever activity at the party usually do.

And here we are. Seeing Okita's face contemplating about what give should he give to his 'beloved' superior.

Maybe he should give him chocolate Tabasco fusion this year? No, that wouldn't do, he already gave him that on Valentine day or maybe some gun powder flavor mayonnaise? But, Hijikata-san is always skeptical whenever Okita gave him sort edible thing to him. It takes much more effort to convince him to take the present.

And then Okita decided to ask for some advice from the most reliable and trusted person in the Kabuki-cho: Sakata Gintoki.

xxxxx

"Hey Danna, will you give me some good advice?"

"For free? That won't do Okita-kun. Advice always comes with price."

"Fine, just take whatever you want. I'll pay it."

"Wow, really Okita-kun. You're so good! Granny, two matcha, two strawberries, and two banana flavor dango please!"

They are sitting at the usual spot on the bench of infamous dango store. Here where the duo slacking (or you may say take a break) from duties. While Gintoki continue to munching his dango treat, Okita begin to babbling about his trouble.

"Hey Danna, what kind of birthday present should I give to that damn Hijikata-san?"

"hmm...*munch* Anything... *munch* is... *munch* Fine *gulp* I think."

"Yeah, anything like poop-shit shape chocolate?"

"Yes. That is! Hey, he won't turn down anything that his lovers give on his birthday. Rest assured won't ya?"

"Don't call us lovers Danna. I wanna puke to hear that."

"Hell, two adult man don't usually sneak out on the dark alley to make out if they're not a lover, hmm?"

"Shut up."

It was bad timing and bad day. The duo chased the bomb terrorist Joui Rebel Katsura, running around Kabuki-cho. Both exhausted and aroused. Let's skip in the exhausted part. Hijikata all of a sudden felt much glorious in his lower part. Dragging Okita along to dark alley and pinning him against the wall in hope to get some quickie. In the midst of heavy make out season, Gintoki appeared, shouted: "Hey, what are you doing making out on the people's back yard! Get a room idiot!" That was very bad mistake for Gintoki to shout like that. Later Hijikata silenced him with some rock throwing at Shiroyasha's face. Much hurt indeed.

"That's still hurt you know Okita-kun." Gintoki rubbed his nose to emphasis the hurt.

"My pride hurt more Danna."

"Well my bad for interrupting your 'steamy' activity then." Gintoki grinning like a maniac.

"Granny I'm done. Please charge all bill to this white perm man." Okita is ready to leave.

"Owh owh owh I'm sorry Okita-kun please listen." With fast hand, Gintoki grab Okita's wrist.

"What?"

"Here sit down and listening." Gintoki try once again.

"I'm listening!" Much annoyance Okita sat down again.

"You should give your... *cough* yours... I mean YOU as the present?"

"Me?"

"Since that mayo-Tabasco lover is so fixated and infatuated by you, why not? Hehehe, surely he will be very happy and then he'll come five times as much on your bott- aack!"

Gintoki didn't have time to finish the sentences before a dango plate landing at his face.

"Granny I'm done. Here's the bill and here's the payment for your broken plate. I'm sorry."

When Okita arrive at Shinsengumi Headquarter it's already dark by the sky. He can hear some frivolous laughing at the main hall. Everyone is getting ready for the birthday party. It is a tradition to throw party the day before the birthday, like New Year party on the night before 1st January.

"I'm back." Okita announce, not really mind everyone will hear him, so merrier inside.

"Oh! Here the Captain Okita! Come here!" Yamazaki shout and wave at him.

Everyone already have a bottle of sake at hand. By the void, it's not even midnight but everyone already at drunkness state.

"Why are you taking so long Captain?" Yamazaki greet him.

The Captain of 1st Division decide to sit beside the spymaster.

"Let me pour some for you." Yamazaki offer the sake he was holding.

"I'm a minor you know."

"Ups sorry, I forgot. But you will be twenty this year, no?'

"Yeah, two months from now."

"It's okay then! Come on just take a little sip!"

Okita refuse and ignore Yamazaki plea. Sure 'Zaki is little high right now. Just ignore him for the good sake.

His red gleaming eyes scanning the room searching for the main attraction. He set eyes on Hijikata in the center of the room. Kondo-san is already naked from his torso, grabbing Hijikata's shoulder with his arm shaped gorilla, ready for some speech.

"Today is jubilee celebration for the Respectful most Diligent and kind-hearted my brother in arms Hijikata Toshiro." Kondo begin his speech

Everyone shriek at the word 'kind-hearted'. Okita just chuckle at the reactions.

"Let's wishes him good health and stamina too and some good partner I mean wife in the future!" Kondo-san laughed much loud at his own speech or rather joke to him.

Okita focus on the word 'wife'. He is VERY sure Hijikata is not going to married anytime soon. Shinsengumi members don't know his little affair between him and demon vice commander. Just he, Hijikata, god and the closet-pervert-Gintoki only know. He is not against the idea to tell everyone about this secret but not now. Maybe some time later after Hijikata finally said those gross three words.

Lost in his own little thought Okita misses Hijikata at his sight. Vice commander take a leave to smoke outside excuse himself from everyone at the room. Okita take leave too, didn't want to miss the chance to announce Hijikata his 'special' present, alone.

Hijikata sit by the pouch, already in comfortable position sliding the smoke between his fingers. He's wearing off-duties attire, simple dark blue with white strip line yukata.

"Where are you coming this late? Slacking off to hang out with Yorozuya?"

Damn it Demon–Mayo Hijikata! Why he always highly aware his presence around him. Make it harder to sneak out and kill him.

"I thought you didn't see I came home. Busy drinking and burping I assume."

"I always notice that bright hair of yours everywhere and your sickening scent." Hijikata bite back.

"My scent? You are creepy Hijikata-san. You always sniff on me every time?"

"Shut up. Whose blame when you smell like sweet bubblegum every damn time."

Yep, this is their typical flirting mode for your information. But it's seems Hijikata san is not really accustomed by the act. Always slightly blushing at his retort.

"I have present for you Hijikata-san." Okita deadpanned say and join Hijikata to sit beside him.

"What? I don't need it." Hijikata dismissed it by waving his hand.

"You mean. Just take it as my token of gratitude."

What 'gratitude' you little! Hijikata already swear will NOT fail into trap again. But on the contrary every time Okita making faces like some abandoned puppy he always failed to refuse and smoothly fall into springe.

"No more Tabasco infused chocolate?"

"No"

"Cake with laxative infused cream?"

"No"

"Bomb shape alarm clock?"

"No"

"Gunpowder flavored mayonnaise?"

"Hm... I have thought that one..."

"Damn you!"

"Just take it this time, Hijikata-san. It wasn't poisonous food or anything." Hijikata's grey ones locked with Okita's red ones. Hold the silence for couple minutes.

"What you got me?"

"Later after everyone finished give you their present." or later after everyone asleep...

"Somehow I've got bad feeling about this..."

"Your instinct never failed Hijikata-san."

xxxxx

After their little conversation, they go back to main hall with everyone getting uproar about liquor. Ready for the second main event. Now is time for Hijikata to receive present from everyone and unwrap the present in front of them. He got 7 pairs of socks, 4 hankies, 5 lighter, 3 dozen Mayonnaise, some branded liquor, and so on.

Yamazaki and Kondo exchange a look. Notice there's something odd.

"Naa Zaki, did you see Sougo give something to Tosshi?"

"I don't, I don't see anything Commander."

"It's weird, huh? Usually Sougo will give Tosshi present every year."

"Yeah and that's always involve disaster or explosion." Both Kondo and Yamazaki nod in acknowledgement.

The whispering is loud enough for Okita to hear. He just ignored it and resisted to comment back. It is true that every year around Hijikata birthday he always gave the raven hair man bad memories. But today is exceptional. He want Hijikata never forget the present today, albeit still involve some 'explosion'.

xxxxx

It's already past 1 a.m. thankfully tomorrow is day off for all. Everyone at the main hall has passed out from heavy drinking. Hijikata already retreated to his room with Okita tagging along behind him.

"You actually don't have anything to give, right?" Hijikata sit cross legged across Okita. Both of his hand crossed in front of his chest. Okita kneel in front of Hijikata wearing his usual trademark expression, poker face.

"Here for you." Okita handed him a small square box wrapped in the red velvet color gift wrapping. "Just unwarping it and see what inside." Okita calmly ordered Hijikata.

After some tweak here and there the small box wrapping come undone and then Hijikata freezes at the sight before him. His body cannot stop shaking with anticipation.

"...This is..." Hijikata seems lost at words.

"Surprised? It special item you know, take much effort to found."

Hijikata finally can't stand it, with the shaking hand he grab the little box and then-

.

.

.

"HOW DARE YOU GIVE CONDOM AS PRESENT TO SOMEONE! YOU MORON!" Scream at the top his lungs while throw away the unsaid box.

See? It is still involve anger 'explosion'.

"What's wrong with that mayo freak Hijikata!? It was rare item you know. Not everybody get that thing easily!"

Yeah rare indeed the mayonnaise flavored condom. But Hijikata slightly relieved it was not something that could poison or blow up him. Still, it was ridiculous gift ever he has been received.

"What do you want to do with that? Are you making fun of me!?"

"Actually last time we did it my ass sting as fuck because you didn't use proper lubrication and not used some condom protection."

"WHA?!" Hijikata suddenly losing his counter-speak skill.

As much as his effort Hijikata tried to lower his temper (and embarrassment of course) toward Okita's mischief prank, he cannot guarantee he won't strangle the person before him.

"Danna said it was a good idea to give 'myself' to you as gift." Okita continue to explain. Still wear that unshaken poker face.

"Give yourself to me? What do mean by that, huh? You? ...Ah…" Sometimes Hijikata is really slow at this.

"The gum is sort of like 'offering'. I would like to give myself to you, have sex to point it bluntly. But I don't want get infected by some rash ass virus because we don't use some protection during sex."

Up until now it still amazed Hijikata how can Okita babble around 'delicate' thing like that without getting embarrassed.

"Ahem!" Hijikata clear his throat and take a deep breath. "So you don't like it when I... err… we don't use protection?" Oh god. Bet his face is 100% shade of red. Need to composure himself, fast Hijikata. Fast!

"Not really though. Actually I like it when we do it raw. It feels so good you know."

'Where this conversation going?! For the god Sake! Have a shame would you!' Hijikata mentally cursed and slapped his face.

The grey one averted his gaze to see the little condom box that he throw away earlier.

"So we don't need this then." He pick-up the condom and place it somewhere in pocket under his sleeve.

"Are we not going to use that Hijikata-san? It mayonnaise flavor you adore."

"Later. I'm not in the mood to use it. Come with me Sougo."

Much oblige. Okita getting up and follow Hijikata outside the room. That's the first time Hijikata called his given name today.

TBC~

Another Author Note:

I'm going to add explicit content in next chapter =)) I can't continue write at the office where everyone can see my perverted face while typing, so I will continue this at home... *and expect really slow update*
Thank you for reading.