Chapter XI: Be that girl for a month

"They're blowing up my phone," the Doctor said. "I'm not going on the record but I'm releasing the information we agreed on. You're both very happy and doing great."

Clara nodded, even though the Doctor couldn't see it through the phone. She knows what he means. Her own phone had been vibrating non-stop since the news broke. People she knew but weren't very close to her wanted to know if it was true. Her friends wanted to know how she was doing. Even Taylor Swift had texted her offering her support if she needed to talk to someone while the storm passed, and added how happy she was for both of them. "There's one email I would like to talk to you about, though. It's from Nike's PR department."

The footballer grew worried. "Am I fired?"

"No! No, like I said, they can't fire you over this. But they say they have a proposal for you and they would like to set a meeting. And they're inviting Amy, too."

Now she was downright suspicious. "What could they possibly want from us?"

"I don't know. They're being mysterious about it. I would normally say no straight away, but then again we're not under normal circumstances…"

Clara sighed. She couldn't exactly piss off her sponsors. She needed them to support her charity work, and word travels fast in the business. If word spread that she was impossible to work with or unreliable, it would be the end for her. "I'll talk to Amy about it."

A few days later, Clara sat in the same office where she had signed her contract with the company. The Doctor was sitting to her right, Amy sat to her left, holding her hand under the table.

The same man who had walked her through her campaign when she had been signed entered the room. It seemed crazy that not so long ago, in that same room, Clara had been daydreaming about the girl that was now by her side. Back then, she had worried that Amy wouldn't stand the heat of their relationship being so exposed. Now, it seemed that the model had taken everything better than her. It was only one of the things that made her perfect in Clara's eyes.

"Clara, what a pleasure to see you again. And it's wonderful to meet you too, Amy." He shook both girls' hands.

After a little monologue on how great Clara's football campaign was doing and how well her boots were selling, he cut to the chase. "Okay, I'll go straight to the point. We want to sign you, Amy."

Clara's eyes widened, and Amy's lips parted and rounded. None of them had been expecting that. The Doctor's eyebrows rose to his hairline.

"We want to redo our entire Nike Women's Summer campaign to have you as our model." Amy was speechless. It was a huge opportunity, and they all knew it. "We'll clear with your team asap if you say yes. There's just one condition."

I knew it, Clara thought to herself. She looked down at their still joined hands. Amy gave her a reassuring squeeze. "We want your first official public appearance as a couple to be at a Nike event. We might also plan for a joint campaign in the future, and to arrange a spread in a magazine."

"We think you have the potential to become the biggest power couple in Britain, and we want to be a part of it."

The executive left the room to give them some time to consider the offer. The footballer was staring at the side of her girlfriend's face intently. This was a great opportunity, the kind that they may never get again. Almost anything would be possible for them with that kind of exposure, but the thought of letting the world into their relationship so much made Clara uneasy.

Amy let out a tiny giggle and turned to Clara for the first time.

"It would be so much fun to do a photoshoot with you. I bet we would drive the photographer crazy."

Clara was bewildered. She felt pretty close to having another panic attack. Her breathing became heavy. "You want to do this?"

"That's not what I said." Amy's hand left Clara's and cupped the brunette's cheek. "It's an incredible opportunity. I'm glad my agent doesn't know about it because she would kill me if I turned it down. That being said, I can see that they want to make our relationship part of their insane publicity stunt. I may be a model, but I'm not completely dumb," she joked.

She whispered the next words, reminding Clara of the times in their bubble that had become her room, anchoring her to reality. "I'm not doing anything you're not comfortable with."

Clara didn't know what to answer. On the one hand, she really didn't want to accept. She didn't want to use her relationship with Amy for someone to make a profit. On the other hand, this could open so many doors for them. It would be Amy's biggest campaign to date, and it would certainly make her career sky-rocket. Clara could use this to expand her audience, to get to even more young girls all over the country, maybe even the world. Part of her wanted to do this with Amy, and it scared her.

She looked towards the Doctor, silently asking him to voice his thoughts.

"As your manager, I don't have to tell you that this is huge and any other manager would tell you to accept. As your friend, I think this might help establish you as a strong couple. It might win you some space after this storm is over. They'll never stop chasing you of course, but if you share a little, something that you can control at the right time, you'll buy some freedom."

Amy squeezed her hand again, her thumb tracing patterns on the back of Clara's hand.

"I'm not in love with this idea but it might be good for us. It's not going to be easy, but we knew it wouldn't be. I'm still here, and I still love you."

There was a pause. "Okay," Clara said, and she almost couldn't believe her own words as she spoke them.

Amy smiled and pulled up from her chair to kiss her girlfriend. In a way, she was relieved that they didn't have to hide anymore. She could go and tell everyone that Clara Oswald was her girlfriend.

They sent the Doctor to call back the executive. Agreeing to this wouldn't come cheap for the company, and the couple made it clear. Apart from the money, Clara made sure to include in the contract that the company had to support a charity of her choice for the length of their partnership with her, as well making donations to other organizations, and that the cameras would be off the second they asked for it. It was a very advantageous contract, for both parties.

Clara only hoped that by signing it, she wasn't signing their relationship's death certificate.

"-...well then I have great news for you, Kelly, because everyone's favourite couple 'Pondswald' made its first official appearance as a couple! We had seen them around town and a little on social media, we had off-the-record confirmation that they are together, but last night Clara Oswald and Amy Pond attended the launch party for Nike Women's summer campaign, which Amy stars. Here we have them holding hands at the photo call. They looked gorgeous.

-They look amazing, Ryan! Clara wore Burberry, a beautiful short dress from their new collection, and Amy wore this impeccable, tailor-made white Armani suit...I have to say, I haven't seen a couple look this good since Brangelina…"

Like a piece of meat in a shark tank. That's how Clara felt in the weeks after her relationship with Amy became public. Everyone wanted something of her, from the BBC, to Graham Norton, to Ellen and James Corden in the States. It seemed that her phone would never stop ringing, her inbox would be permanently filled.

Through all of it, Amy was great. She was a much better guest than Clara was. She smiled, told funny stories -and actually made them sound funny-, she blushed when asked about their relationship. She played the part of a lovesick sweetheart, and she did it brilliantly. Of course, Clara knew -and still couldn't quite believe- that Amy really did love her. She didn't only pretend for the cameras, but she did exaggerate her reactions to best manipulate her audience, giving them what they wanted and then directing their attention elsewhere. Clara never quite figured out how to do that: how to be famous.

Clara did do some interviews. It was part of the Doctor's plan and she knew whatever he said would be in her best interest. But her interviews were different from Amy's. She was more nervous and gave shorter answers. She couldn't really elaborate by herself, but rather had to be prompted to tell stories or give details. Yet, though this exposure was way beyond anything she had experienced before, she had been in the spotlight for long enough to have picked up a few tricks. She knew how to fake a smile.

Yet, as awful as the appearances seemed to go for Clara, the rest of the world seemed to disagree. Her friends, her gran, everyone kept telling her how she seemed to glow when she spoke of Amy. Her smile changed. It became something true, something genuine. Clara didn't know if it was true, but rewatched the interviews in search of hints anyway. It wasn't healthy to obsess like that, and if Amy had been there, she probably would have said so. But Amy wasn't there: she was off traveling the world like she always had to during fashion week season. So Clara was free to obsess over her own words and train just a little too hard.

Training was comfortable and familiar, something that she knew and didn't have to think through. Her friends were there, and they knew better than to keep asking her about Amy. They didn't ask and she didn't offer, she issued commands and pushed them to do their best. Clara played, Clara scored, Clara missed Amy. She told her journal at night that she felt like a ghost, and when she was done writing, she put on one of Amy's shirts and she went to sleep. The next day she did it all over again.

By the time Amy came home, the world was not so loud anymore. This was the moment of freedom they had been waiting for. They went up to Scotland for the weekend, a little town near where Amy was born. They got lost among the trees and for some time Clara could pretend it was still just them, trapped in a snow globe but not wanting to leave anyway.

Eventually, the globe broke and the couple had to go back to the real world. Amy had commitments to attend to and Clara had a Champions League semifinal to win.

Clara did not win the Champions League semifinal.

Clara lost the Champions League semifinal.

Clara felt like a complete, utter failure.

The captain began questioning herself as a leader. In reality, there wasn't anything she could have done differently. In sports, as in life, you win some and you lose some, and sometimes it's really not your fault. It was no one's fault. The others were just better.

But although Clara knew this, this time it felt worse. Not only was a whole team counting on her for this, the country was counting on her for the World Cup, and she couldn't prove now an unfit leader. Most importantly, Amy had been there. Amy had been up in a box, cheering and wearing her jersey and Clara had dreamt about moving onto the final and winning the trophy she had pictured Amy running into her arms, bursting with happiness and kissing her then and there for the whole world to see. Now, she wouldn't get that chance and Clara couldn't help but think that in that moment she wasn't worthy of Amy. She hadn't done her job.

Amy finally went into the locker room because Clara was taking too long to come out. The model simply sat next to her girlfriend, waiting for her to talk. Just when Amy thought that she wouldn't, Clara's weak voice echoed in the empty room.

"I'm sorry we lost."

Amy put her arms around the footballer and pulled her close. Clara immediately started crying and mumbling incoherent sentences.

Once in their home (it was really Clara's apartment and they hadn't really made any arrangements, but that was where they were spending most of their time), Amy prepared the bathtub for Clara. She undressed her girlfriend and helped her into the water. Her hair was still wet from the shower after the game, so Amy pulled it into a bun. She brought glasses of wine for both of them and sat on the floor next to the bathtub, absentmindedly rubbing Clara's arm.

"You were amazing," Amy finally said. "You are amazing. And smart, and kind, and beautiful. There'll be other games...But no matter what happens, you are amazing to me. Nothing's gonna change that."

A single tear slid down Clara's cheek and fell into the water. She felt relaxed, at peace, and that was new for her after losing an important game. If this was Amy picking her up, the disappointment was almost bearable. She wouldn't question herself (as much) for a month after this. Amy still believed in her, and that was all she needed for the time being.