Hello there! :D You can call me Aoi and this is my one-shot, If Only. I'm actually most likely going to make another Tokyo Ghoul one-shot after this based on the ending of Tokyo Ghoul Root A and somewhat similar to this if anyone is interested. I haven't read the manga yet btw (YET) so please no spoilers for me :) Anyway, here you go~

Btw, this is an AU where Amon lives.

When the ghoul known as Eyepatch first encountered Amon, he was shocked. For once in his life, Amon Koutaro wanted to know more about a ghoul. He had never thought he would hear a ghoul say "Please don't make me a killer!" Granted that Amon never let his guard down, which he showed when he encountered Eyepatch again, this time with white hair however. After all, a ghoul was a ghoul and Eyepatch could always attack him at any moment.

Perhaps in another life, they could've been friends. Amon couldn't help but think this to himself as he and Eyepatch -now known as Kaneki Ken, stood face-to-face although far apart.

"I don't want to fight you." Kaneki said. It had always confused Amon on how Kaneki got white hair, since it didn't look dyed at all. There was also the fact that Kaneki carried himself in a whole different way, and he seemed to show less mercy -if you could call it mercy he showed in the first place. Amon never understood why Kaneki spared him that day.

The next thing he knew, Kaneki had charged and it had become an intense battle. At first Amon couldn't tell who would win the fierce battle, since it seemed they were equally matched. However, it didn't last for long. Soon Amon was getting weaker and Kaneki was overpowering him. Then, suddenly, when Amon was nocked to the ground, Kaneki stopped. "I don't wish to fight you." Then, before Amon could get up, the half-ghoul left.

Soon, Akira came and wept in relief he was alive, and Amon was extremely touched however he wondered... did ghouls mourn and feel relief like humans as well? Did ghouls even feel emotions? Amon wondered why he was even asking these questions, considering it had never occurred to him to ask before. Could not all ghouls be bad..? Amon leaned against Akira, as they slowly made their way to where all the other investigators were. The second Amon saw all the casualties, he was furious. He hated ghouls -absolutely hated them. As for Kaneki Ken... well that was an entirely different story.

Suddenly everyone looked forward, and started yelling "It's him?" Interested, Amon looked up and saw something that would forever be engraved in his memory as long as he lived. Kaneki Ken was carrying a body and the cover slipped off to reveal the deceased form of the delivery guy, Nagachika Hideyoshi. So many questions came to mind in that moment, like why Kaneki was holding Nagachika and if Kaneki had killed him.

Amon then got a good look at Kaneki's face, and found that he couldn't look away. Kaneki looked... done. He looked done with the world, done with life. Depressed, sad, and more than anything you could tell that Kaneki was morning. Amon had no clue of why the half-ghoul knew the delivery boy or why Nagachika was so important to Kaneki, but as he looked at the eyepatched man and the person he was carrying, for a second he was filled with regret. If only. If only Kaneki was not part ghoul. If only Kaneki and Nagachika could stay together. If only Nagachika hadn't died. All the if only's ran through Amon's mind, and he watched as Kaneki set Nagachika down and faced the one man who could kill him as if his own life didn't even matter anymore -and to Kaneki, it probably didn't.

If only they could all meet in another life, then everyone there wouldn't have to live this tragedy.

If only.

I know this is an extremely short one-shot but it wouldn't get out of my mind. Maybe one day I'll rewrite it or just delete it. Fare thee well~

Aoi: *mourns over Hide's death* Oh and actually never mind about the spoilers because I've already been spoiled about what happens in the manga (Thanks Muri, I really appreciate it)