SPOILER ALERT

Hello readers! If you haven't seen the season 9 premiere yet you might not want to read this fic. Just a heads up. Otherwise this little one-shot doesn't really contain any information of value so you should be safe reading it.

Okay, that's enough of that. I guess the only that's left for me to do is to apologize for this little ball of peach-fuss I've concocted in my pain and misery - I just miss the Shamy so much. Prepare for angsty fluff (is that even a thing?)

- YlvaB

One Fifteen

By YlvaBorealis

The book was heavy in his hand as he held it up to study the large, gilded letters on the front cover.

"GE-NE-TICS" Sheldon mouthed silently, twisting and turning the book before chucking it to the side dismissively. It landed on the floor with a loud thud. "That drivel's gotta be Amy's, that's for sure" he muttered as he rummaged through the rest of the things he had gathered from all over his apartment. Some of them were clearly the property of his former roommate's wife Penny, and since he wasn't entirely convinced she wouldn't harm him physically should he throw them out he put them in a small cardboard box to be returned to her.

Romance novels, a knitted scarf, vanilla-scented chapstick, a couple of hand-written letters and a birthday card… The pile on the floor by his feet was growing by the minute but he couldn't bring himself to look at it. Once he had finished separating Penny's and Leonard's things from Amy's he put his elbows on his knees and hid his face in his hands, trying to gather strength from the fact that at least he still had his couch and his spot – his . The one place where things weren't a complete mess and the Universe was still an orderly place where he could collect his thoughts and at least try to put his own mind at ease.

Things had changed. He didn't think he had though – when he looked himself in the mirror he saw the same tall, lanky man with neatly cropped dark hair and double-layered t-shirts as he always did. But other things had. After having lived together for ten years his roommate Leonard and he were now separated, since it was only natural that Leonard would want to live with Penny now that they were married. Well, at least that's what people had told Sheldon – that it was "natural".

Change was apparently also natural, but Sheldon couldn't see why that had to mean it was a good thing. Tsunamis were natural. As were lava and mosquitoes and ice storms, and raisins (yuck, raisins…). He didn't like any of those things. And Amy breaking up with him was certainly a huge change, and yet there was nothing natural about the ache in his chest, nothing at all. It felt metallic, hollow, artificial – like someone had planted something inside of him, something that didn't belong, something cold and… unnatural.

He glanced down at the objects that were scattered all over the floor. Memories. Not that he needed them: he remembered every single day he had spent with Amy during the five years they'd been together, down to the last minute. Eidetic memories were neat like that. But it hurt to stumble over her belongings everywhere he went in his own home, and after having turned to Google for advice he'd learned that according to breakup protocol he was obliged to return Amy's things to her now that she'd ended their relationship. She hadn't asked him to though, and she hadn't returned his calls or his text messages – no matter how many times he checked his phone to see if she would come to her senses and start texting him every two hours like she'd agreed she would when she signed their Relationship Agreement it just wouldn't ring or beep or buzz. He reached for it where it lay on the coffee table, deciding to check it once more just in case. He wanted to leave it but he just couldn't fight this need anymore.

Sheldon sighed as he stared at the screen, not having realized it was already 1.15 a.m. Way past his bedtime of course but what was the point of his routines and schedules now that Amy had left him? The world had clearly stopped making sense already so what matter did it make if he tried to fight it?

He leaned back in his seat, rubbing his temple as he clutched his phone in his hand. Not a word from her. Nothing that indicated she missed him or regretted her decision.

"I wonder if she's even thinking of me?" Sheldon mumbled to himself sadly. He knew he thought of her all the time. At work, at lunch, at home… Yes, even in bed and in the shower (although Leonard would have to strap him to a wheel and throw knives at him to get him to admit that), which had forced him to sleep on the couch and schedule additional… washing sessions. It didn't help though. Fact remained he was now all alone.

Looking down at the phone in his hand he contemplated calling her again. He'd told her he wouldn't. But he was quickly losing control over his mind and body, and this urge, this need for her was growing stronger with every second he spent apart from her.

"I said I wouldn't" he mumbled under his breath, putting the phone back on the coffee table. "I'm still the master of my own mind and body. I don't need her. I don't need her."

"I don't need him" Amy thought as she climbed out of the cab and out on the patio in front of her building, her legs slightly wobbly as she made her way to the door. "I'm doing fine all on my own."

Maybe it hadn't been such a good idea to go out drinking with Penny and Bernadette tonight but they had insisted it would take her mind off Sheldon and their breakup, and after she'd downed that shot of whiskey that Penny had ordered for her as a dare she had to admit that she felt slightly better. A little queasy, yes, but definitely better.

As she fished the keys out of her purse to open the front door she felt something soft and furry grazing her leg. She looked down and saw Mrs. Lee's cat Bonnie darting off into the night, the bell that hung from her collar ringing softly even as she disappeared from Amy's line of vision.

"Out looking for a good time are ya?" Amy murmured as she opened the door to let herself in. "You're probably off to murder innocent rodents and fornicate frivolously before returning home to disrupt your owner's sleep… You minx, you."

She yawned as she made her way up to her apartment, not bothering to turn on the lights as she stepped inside and shrugged out of her purple denim jacket. She could still taste the alcohol on her tongue as she collapsed onto her couch, rubbing her forehead as she tried to fight the need to vomit. That last shot had been a mistake, she knew that now for sure. The bartender had eyed her petite frame as she picked up the glass with trembling hands, taking in her dark-rimmed glasses and conservative style of dress. She knew he thought she wasn't the kind of girl who normally frequented such an establishment, but what did she care. As long as she could keep her mind off of Sheldon Cooper long enough to get some well-needed sleep and perhaps a good solid meal. Maybe she should have had that before she'd decided to go to a bar.

"Mpphh" Amy groaned as her eyes adjusted to the dark and the contours of her front door appeared in front of her. Even from where she lay on the couch she could see it quite clearly, but she wished she hadn't looked. It seemed everything reminded her of Sheldon these days. He'd showed up by her door after she'd told him she needed time to think, insisting they talk. She hadn't been ready though, hadn't been prepared to listen to what he had to say, and she'd promptly ended their relationship just to get him off her back. But had it really been such a good idea? She'd told herself over and over that he'd brought it upon himself and that she was better off focusing on herself now, but as she stared at the front door she found herself wishing he'd sweep in through it and pick her up from the couch and carry her to bed.

"That's not Sheldon you're thinking of" she muttered under her breath. "Sheldon doesn't carry anything anywhere if he can help it."

If it wasn't him she was thinking of, who was it then? Someone who looked suspiciously like him, that was for sure. As much as she hated to admit it the thought of him crossed her mind more often than not – especially now that he wasn't hers anymore.

"I wonder if he's thinking of me too?" Amy whispered to herself, reaching into her pocket for her phone to scroll through the many messages he had sent her these past few days. She had asked him to stop calling and texting her and finally he'd respected her wishes. If they even were her wishes. Truth was she had a hard time telling what it was she really wanted and what it was she thought she wanted.

"Girl, you're still drunk" she groaned as she tried to make out the blurry numbers on the screen. 1.15 a.m. It was way past Sheldon's bed time, she knew as much. And she'd promised herself she wouldn't call him.

Maybe he'd pick up. What harm could it do to see if he'd pick up? Before she could stop herself she'd tapped her finger against the icon, her stomach freezing as Sheldon's number popped up on the screen signaling the call was going through.

"No, no" she thought desperately, sliding her thumb over the screen to hang up. "I don't need him. I don't need him."

"Amy just called but I shouldn't go over there, Amy just called but I shouldn't go over there, Amy just called…" Sheldon chanted to himself as he hurried down the empty street, scanning the alleys for bobcats and shady-looking strangers who might be after his pocket watch or his innocence. Pretty boys like himself weren't safe out on the street, especially at this hour, but he hadn't hesitated to grab his windbreaker and his pepper spray once Amy's phone number showed up on the screen. The bus (and the loose change in his pocket) would only take him so far though, and he had to walk the last mile to her building – something he hadn't counted on as he flew down the stairs without his wallet. With no money to pay for a cab he was pretty much left to fend for himself, but what did it matter. Amy had called.

He wrapped his arms around his lanky frame to keep warm as he made his way to her building. Naturally he'd tried to call her back once he was on the bus but she hadn't picked up, and even though his brain told him this was probably not a good sign his heart wouldn't have any of it.

"I shouldn't go over there, I shouldn't go over there" he repeated as he strode down the boulevard, which was not so empty anymore. Apparently this was where one went for a drink and a casual sexual encounter in these neighborhoods – not that he'd be interested. But he couldn't help to look around and study the young, made up faces that seemed entirely oblivious of his existence and his troubles. Why would they care? They had genitals to probe or be probed by, and mistakes they needed to make.

Shaking his head Sheldon continued walking, his pointy ear picking up the tunes of a guitar from one of the bars on his left. Maybe he should blow off his mission and go do what other guys did. Drench his sorrows. Bury himself in a bottle blonde like his father. "As if" he muttered under his breath, but he stopped nonetheless, closing his eyes for a second to block out all other impressions. It would be so easy, so easy to just allow himself not to feel for a second, to stop hurting just for one night…

Just as he'd decided it might be worth a shot the phone rang, interrupting him in his reverie. Fishing out the phone from his pocket he almost went into cardiac arrest as he saw the caller ID. Amy.

The lanky physicist's hand trembled violently as he tried to gather his composure. Sliding his thumb over the screen to answer the call he picked up his pace again, hoping he'd be able to keep his cool.

"Hello?" he squeaked, instantly biting his lip and cursing internally. Rats! The one time his ex-girlfriend (his first ex nonetheless) calls and his vocal cords fail him. Go figure.

"Sheldon?" Amy asked, her voice thin and fragile. "Where are you?"

"I… I'm out" Sheldon answered evasively, hoping she couldn't hear the sound of his shoes against the pavement. "Not that it's any of your business."

"Out? Since when do you go out?"

"Since when is it any of your concern?"

"I've known you long enough to know you don't go 'out', that's my concern. Alright?"

"You're slurring. Have you been drinking?"

He flinched as she sighed at the other end of the line, the breathy sound overwhelmingly loud.

"Yeah" she answered at least, "I'm a little… I'm a little drunk."

"You should replenish your sodium levels and rehydrate then, or you might suffer the after-effects of excessive alcohol-consumption tomorrow" Sheldon lectured, swallowing hard as he realized this must be what Penny called a "drunk-dial". Maybe he'd been fooling himself all along: Amy might be calling up to remind him that they weren't to remain in contact.

"That's excellent advice Sheldon. I shall try to remember that before I go to sleep."

"Sarcasm?"

"No, I was being sincere."

"Drat. I can't seem to get the hang of it" Sheldon sighed, both with frustration and relief as he spotted Amy's building across the street.

She'd gone silent though, and he feared she might have fallen asleep or simply hung up. Perhaps this really was a mistake. He didn't need her. Right?

"I was… I was calling up to apologize" she finally let out, and he couldn't help but clasp his hand over his racing heart to try and steady its erratic rhythm.

"What do you mean?" Sheldon asked as he hurried across the street praying he wouldn't get hit by a car.

"I called you. At 1.15. I said I wouldn't but I did, and I'm sorry" Amy said, her voice cracking at the last syllable.

"I fail to see why you would feel the need to apologize. It's not illegal to call up another person. I have never said that you're not free to call me should you feel the need to" Sheldon pointed out as he patted his pants in search for the spare key he had yet to return to Amy.

"I know you haven't Sheldon, it's just that… We're broken up and I explicitly asked we'd stay out of touch, and yet I called you up tonight."

"You did. You also hung up before I had the chance to answer" Sheldon mumbled as he stepped inside the elevator and pressed 3, finding comfort in the low timbre of her voice.

"I know… I know… I just… there was something I wanted to tell you and I lost my nerve."

Knock knock knock "Amy."

Knock knock knock "Amy."

Knock knock knock "Amy" Sheldon whispered rapidly, knocking his fist against the wall of the elevator right before it landed at Amy's floor.

"What did you say?" Amy asked confusedly, slightly annoyed that he'd ignored her as he had on so many previous occasions. Perhaps it was a good thing that she'd hung up right before she'd told him that… that…

"I didn't say anything" Sheldon denied, taking three deep breaths as he stopped outside of her front door. "You need to go open your front door."

"Sheldon, what are you…?"

"Just do it."

He could hear her moving around at the other end of the line, his heart thumping loudly in his chest as his acute hearing picked up the sound of her feet stomping down her hallway. Suddenly the door flew open and there she was, just as she'd always been – her hair was mussed and her glasses were askew and her clothes rumpled as if she'd slept in them, but it was still her. Her eyes were big and round and her mouth hung open, as if she couldn't believe it was actually him.

"I need to tell you something too" Sheldon exhaled, shaking like a leaf at the sight of her.

"No, I need to tell you something first" Amy interrupted him, gasping as he took a step forward and grabbed her hips, swiftly pulling her to him. She looked up into his blue eyes, realizing they reflected the look in her own forest greens, and suddenly she didn't care that she was a little drunk, and Sheldon didn't care either because he wasn't alone anymore, he would never be again, and he leaned forward until his lips brushed over hers, and they both let out a shivering "I need you" before they closed the distance between them.

"Now?" Amy gasped between kisses, her arms closing around his neck and her pelvis pressing into his.

"Now" Sheldon whispered into her mouth, closing the door behind them much as he closed this chapter in the book of their life together.

THE END

ETA2:

Okay, now I've cooled off a bit. I admit I was sad when my review field was so horribly abused, but these past few days I've received so many sweet comments and pm's and I really can't stay mad for long. I'm so lucky to have such great readers.

- YlvaBorealis