You're all so gonna hate me for this and I'm so sorry...

Ashley was the only one out of the house. Chris and Emily were watching the wendigos, stuck in fear. Jessica and Mike was nowhere to be seen. Josh was surly dead. One of the monster was going to attack Mike.

Sam was left with a choice. Save Mike. Run and pray she reached the switch before the wendigo reached her.

Sam was brave. She wouldn't let anyone die. Not if she could do something.

But she was scared. The wendigo had taken all bravery that was left in her. She couldn't do it. She couldn't die.

Or could she ?

She met Mike gaze, his face all covered with blood. Was it is ? She didn't know.

She didn't know what he was trying to say to her. Leave? Help?

Sam was brave. But she choosed the easy way out.

The switch turned the light one, the house exploded, and the last thing Sam saw before blacking out was the snow she fell on.

Sam wasn't brave anymore. Sam was broken.

Are you insane like me? Been in pain like me?

"You know why I didn't turn it on? Because I fucking knew they were still people could have all make it Sam! Mike, Emily, and Ch... And... They would still be alive."

She was right. Sam was a coward. Just because she had lost Hannah and Josh, she decided Ashley could live without Chris.

She didn't remember thinking like that. In fact, she didn't remember thinking anything. She just run like a scared little dog and ruined tonnes of lifes around her, Ashley's first.

She didn't say anything. She had nothing to say. Ashley was right. Now, Sam wasn't the only one on her own.

Her fault. It was all her fault.

Would you use your water bill to dry the stain like me?

"Samantha, are you sure of what you said? Your friend, this... Josh. He played a cruel prank on you and your friend. You could have imagine them."

She knew she didn't tough. It's the only thing she was sure of right now.

"The wendigos... They attacked us. All of us. I had to.

- You had to what?"

She looked away.

"I had to go to the switch. Save Ashley when I could. But I killed the other."

The parents of her dead friends knew it wasn't Sam's fault. She was scared. Hell, they were all scared. She did what she did on instinct. They didn't even think of pressing charges.

Sam though it was all her fault.

Bought a hundred dollar bottle of champagne like me?

The taste was bad. Real bad. It was burning the back of her throat, making her feel dizzy. Man did she liked that. The alcool was making her feel so bad about herself, but in a way, it was still better than when she was sober.

Her phone buzzed and she picked it up.

"Ashley! Ashley ashley ashley …

- Sam, are you drunk?

- Me, drunk? Neveeer!"

She took a step forward the bar to refill a soon to be empty glass, spilling some of it content on herself.

"Shit.

- Sam, where are you?

- The bar baby, where do you want me to be ? Hey honey, give me all the bottle, would you?

- Sam!

- You're such a sweetheart."

She drank half of the liquid like it was only water.

"I'm coming right now.

- Cmon Ash, I'm fiiiine!"

Just to pour that motherfucker down the drain like me?

Ashley was at the bar in five minutes only. No need to ask Sam what bar she was in, only one bar in town would allow Sam to drink there everynight until she was drunk and throwing up averywhere.

The last month have been hell for Ashley. But she seeked help, so she was getting better. Sam, on the other hand, was getting worse everyday. Getting drunk almost every day. Having one night stand after one night stand. What in hell was she trying to do?

Ahsley entered the bar easily and saw Sam sitting on the floor, next to a chair, the bottle of vodka against her red cheek. The red haired made her way to her friend and picked her up, taking the boottle as soon as she could.

"Ash, cmon, I paiiid it."

Ashley didn't care. She took Sam hand and led the way toward the exit. Sam was too drunk to protest. Then, out of the atmosphere full of alcohol, she droped the blond's hand and went to the gutter, emptying the vodka right there.

"Ash! Dude, that wasn't cool!

- I'm taking you home Sam.

- I don't know if I have my keys..."

She putted her hand in her pocket, searching a key Ashley was sure was still at the blond's domicile.

"Doesn't matter, I'm taking you to my house."

Do you tear yourself apart to entertain like me?

Sam kissed the man wildly, sucking his lips hard, putting her hand under his shirt. He went right to her breast, and even if it made her feel uncomfortable, she didn't say anything.

Ashley had fell asleep on the couch and Sam had simply left. Meeting a not so sweet man hitting on her when walking on the street. She flirted back, and now, here they were, at her house, kissing like they were husband and wife. Free ride home, right ?

When he left in the morning, she wanted to throw up. She felt disgusting. She wasn't a prostitute, but maybe he thought she was, because he had left a couple hundred dollars on her table. She took it and threw it away.

She was so disgusting.

She so needed help.

She took back some of the money anyway. She needed it, didn't she?

Do the people whisper 'bout you on the train like me?

She was on the subway, standing up when they were tons on free seat. She was so pale. Lifeless. People were looking at her either with concern or disgust. She didn't care. She just wanted every thing to be over.

Why did she leave Ashley's house again? Oh, yes. She remembered. Always would. She killed them all. Ashley was alone. Her fault.

All her fault.

"You're alright mam?"

Sam looked up to see a girl in her twenties looking at her with big eyes. Blonde, blue eyes, two braid falling on her shoulder. God did she look like Jessica.

"I'm alright. Don't need help.

- Okay..."

She didn't look like she was leaving. Sam looked away and the stranger finally went to sit down, not far from Sam.

Why would she waste her time on her?

Saying that you shouldn't waste your pretty face like me?

She get out of the subway as fast as she could without running. This girls looking at her was too much. She would have to walk for almost thirteen minutes to get to Ashley, but it was better than to feel like a desesperate little girl, even if that was exactly what she was.

She got lost only five minutes later. Didn't know this place when it was all sunny, acustomed to the dark and the rain. The sun was burning her eyes and her skin – at least it felt like it.

She was on waiting for Ashley to reply to the call without even remembering taking her phone or dialing the number.

"Ash?

- Sam, oh my god! Where are you ? Are you okay?"

Sam didn't answer.

"Sam ?

- I don't know where I am.

- It's okay, just tell me what's around you.

- There's this, hum … Restaurant, name … Hum... The two lizzards, or … Something like that.

- Okay Sam, I know where you are. I got you. Just stay on the phone. Okay?

- Okay..."

She didn't say another word while Ashley was taking her key to get to her car, but the red haired could hear the laborious breathing of her friends and that was enough. Sam was on her phone, breathing, alive, waiting for Ashley to find her.

Midway through the ride, the line went off, and all Ashley could do was to drive as fast as she could to get to Sam before the blond decided to run away again.

When she parked in front of the restaurant, Ashley jumped out of her car, not bothering closing the door. She just run to Sam who had her phone glued to her hear, not having notice that the call had ended ten minutes before.

"Sam !" she yelled, and the blond looked at her. She was as white as a ghost, her hair was a mess, and the only clothes she was wearing was a dirty jean, a shirt almost wide open that showed her bra, and her shoes' laces weren't even done.

Ashley took her by the arm and secured her inside of her car.

"It's okay Sam, I got you."

Pointing fingers cause you'll never take the blame like me?

Inside her appartment, Ashley took Sam to the bathroom. The blond wasn't reacting at all, so Ashley decided to undress her herself. She turned on the water, the tap pouring hot water into the bathtup, and took Sam's shirt and jeans off. She removed het bra, her panties, freed her hair from the messy buns that was surely made at least three days ago, and then put her in the bath.

"You relax, I'm coming right back."

Ashley took the clothes to the washing machine. Before putting them in, she emptied the pockets, finding three hundred dollar.

"Oh no, that's not good."

She put the clothes in the machine before turning it on and going into her room to try to find some clothes that could fit Sam. Five minutes later, she was back next to Sam, folding the clothes the blond was going to wear.

"You okay there?"

No answer. She looked back to see that Sam was silently crying.

"Hey, hey..."

Not caring that she would be wet, Ashley took her friends in her arm. Sam welcomed the embrace and just cried harder.

And all the people say
"You can't wake up, this is not a dream."

She had washed her hair and her body. Then she helped her to get dry and dressed up. She brushed her hair, put them in a bun, and led her to sit on the couch in the living room. She handed her some hot chocolate.

"Here you go."

Sam didn't say anything, just taking a sip of the brown liquid. It burned her tongue, but she didn't mind.

"Sam, can I ask you a question?

- Shoot."

That was the first word Sam had say since the phone call.

"How... How did you get the money?

- What money?" she answered, and Ashley could see that she genuinely didn't know what she was talking about.

"I found three hundred dollars in your pocket. Where does it come from?

-Oh. This money. I..."

A lump formed in her throat and Sam could barely breathe, let alone speak.

"I, hum... You'll be mad if I tell you.

- What? Why would I be mad? I just wanna help you, Sam."

But Sam didn't answer.

"Please Sam. Let me help. Let me in.

- A guy had sex with me. I found money in the morning.

- You WHAT?"

Sam flinched and Ashley immediately regretted her outburst.

"I'm sorry. But … What do you mean, a guy had sex with you? You both had sex, right?

- I... I guess? I mean, I never said no."

Ashley didn't like where this was going.

"Did you once say yes?"

Sam wasn't looking at her anymore and fresh tears were forming in her eyes.

"Sam, answer me. Did you said yes?

- No."

"You're part of a machine, you are not a human being"

"Sam I'm sorry...

- Please Ash, stop. I just... I'll just finish my cocoa and go get some sleep, if you agree.

- I, uh, yeah, sure. You... Want some company?

- No, I'll be fine, I don't want to bother you more than I already am.

- You're not bothering me Sam. Not at all.

- I you say so."

They finished their drinks in silent and then, without a word, Sam went to Ashley's bedroom. She put her empty cup down on the nightstand before sitting down on the bed, letting her back fall onto the mattress.

Ashley, left alone on the couch, just went to the sinkto put her cup and decided to check on Sam. The blond was already asleep, her legs dangling over the edge of the bed, snoring softly. Ashley shook her head and smiled, took the cup and put it in the sink too and then sit down on the couch, falling asleep too.

"With your face all made up, living on a screen "

She woke up two or three hours later, with a little headache and puffy eyes. She didn't know where she was, nor what she was doing there. And it came back to her, all in one second. She felt her stomach starting to hurt and run to the bathroom, throwing up so much she thought she had spit her stomach out.

"Chris?" she heard a tired Ashley say from the living room, and earing the name of their dead friend just made her start to cry again.

Ashley rose from the couch, realizing her mistakes.

"Shit! Sam?"

She ran to the bathroom: too late. Sam had heard her and was now crying loudly.

"I'm sorry Ashley, I'm so, so sorry! I killed them… Killed them all... So sorry..."

Ashley held her hair when Sam thought she was going to throw up again, but nothing came.

"Hey, hey there. Sam, listen to me... You didn't kill them.

- But you said...

- I said some stupid shit, that's what I said. I was searching the guilty one. I'm sorry it was you."

She helped her to stand up and handed her a toothbrush with some toothpaste on it.

"Here. Brush your teeth."

Sam complied without saying anything. Five minutes laters, they were on the couch, Ashley looking at Sam, Sam looking at the floor.

"Sam, I... I really want to help you.

- I know.

- Then you need to let me. Would you… Would you answer my questions?"

Sam wipped her nose with her sleeve.

"I'll... I'll try.

- Okay. That's all I'm asking you. So, first... Did you... Did you use... Any protection. With the man.

- Yes, I... In fact, I don't really know.

- Okay. That's okay. Was it a one time thing?

- No?"

It was a real question, and the fact that Sam didn't know broke Ashley's heart. She put a hand on her friend's shoulder.

"You're doing really good. Now, do you... Have you used … Drugs of some sorts, of...

- What? No! I just... I just drink a lot. But you already know that.

- I don't judge Sam, okay? I'm here to help. Now, we need to go to a doctor."

Sam gaved her a panicked look, and Ashley tried to calm her before she could freak out.

"I'll be here with you through it all, or not, it's all up to you. But we need – I need – to make sure that you're fine.

- I … I can't. I'm sorry."

Sam rose from her seat and, just in jeans and shirt Ashley had gave her – she didn't have any bra that would fit her – the blond ran. She went to the door, try to open it. Found it was locked.

"Sam!

- Open the door the Ash!

- Sam, I won't let you leave! Not again!

- Ashley, open this damn door! Now!"

Ashley tried to stop her friend but Sam pushed her away hard, and the red haired fell head first on the floor. Seeing what she had just done, Sam put her hands over her mouth.

Did she... Did she just... Again...

Ashley sat up, a hand on her head. Seeing that the girl was still alive, Sam tried to open the door again, like it would suddenly just open.

"Please Ashley, please please PLEASE let me go..."

Ashley helped herself up with the table low table, her head spinning a little. It made Sam want to leave even more.

The red haired steadied herself and then, slowly, reached for her friend's shoulder.

"Sam... It's okay... Everything it's okay...

- No it's not! And… And you know that."

Ashleyh took her hand back.

"You're right. It's not fine. But I can, and I will, make sure that it is. You hear me? Everything, is going, to be, okay."

Sam kept turning the handle of the door for a couple seconds and finally stopped fighting. She turned to Ashley, looking as if she didn't have anything to look for in life – which was almost right.

"Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline"

Two hours later, Sam was sitting at the table, Ashley cooking not far away. They had call the doctor, setting an appointment in two days. Sam was reticent, but aggreed to go after some one-sided talking from Ashley. The red haired wasn't going to let her escape anyway, so she might as just accept.

She was making pasta. She wasn't in the mood to search for a complicated dinner. Dinner already, the day had gone too fast and too slow at the same time...

When cooked, the pasta were placed on the plates, with some cheese on top of it. Ashley's plate was full, but Sam's had just a little food in it. Seeing her over the toilet, she fought that a lot would be too much to eat. Ashley ate in five minutes. She was so hungry. Sam, on the onther hand, was pushing her food around her plate, eating one pasta then and there. At least she was eating something... Right?

Twenty minutes laters, the red haired was drinking some water while Sam was – finally – eating her last pasta. Victory, shouted Ashley in her head. Sam had eaten something this day.

"Okay Sam, what about you go sleep in my bed and I sleep on the couch? Do you want to change or are you too tired.

-I … I might just go to sleep. But I can take the couch you know, I don't wanna be a burden.

- You're not a burden Sam. You're my friend. Now go to my bedroom before I decide to join you in my cosy fluffy bed, 'kay?"

Sam just smiled and went to the bathroom, brushing her teeth with the toothbrush Ashley had given her earlier. She then went to the living room to say goodnight, finding the table clean and the couch already set up for the night. Ashley was a fast worker, mainly when it came to sleep or video games.

"Ashley?

- Here!" Ashley answered from her bedroom where she was taking some pillow to borrow.

"So, you can take whatever you want, I'm just in the living room, and the door is closed but it just for your safety. Mine too, but mostly yours, okay?"

Sam nodded and Ashley gave her a quick peck on the cheek.

"Goodnight goldylock.

- Good night to you too."

They both fell fast asleep but Sam was the first to wake up. It was early in the morning, six am or so. Sam left the bedroom to see Ashley, lying down on the couch, her face hidden by the pillow. She was beautiful, at peace. And Sam was there, feeling like she didn't belong here. No, not "like". She actually didn't belong here. Never would, said a not so little voice inside her head.

As silently as possible, she made her way to the counter, searching for something, anything, with alcohol in it. She needed to get drunk. Right now. Every time she was sober, she felt like trash. Every time she was drunk, she still felt like trash, but at least she had more chance of forgetting it.

She found some wine under the sink, and even if she despised the taste of it, she opened the bottle and took a large gulp. It caused her to cough aloud.

"Hmmm... Sam?" Ashley said, looking up to see her friend taking another sip of wine. "Sam! Stop!"

That woke her up. She ran to Sam and took the bottle from her hand, emptying its content in the sink. She didn't care about the wine – she didn't even remember where it came from.

Ashley turned back to Sam and the fact that she didn't even argue made her more sad than seeing her drink.

"Sam, what's wrong?"

Sam didn't say anything.

"Sam? Tell me.

- I'm nothing.

- You're... What? Why would you say that?

- That's what everyone tell me.

- You're not nothing Sam. You hear me? You mean a lot. To your parent, but also to me. I love okay? You're the only one I have left. I need you and you are not nothing."

And Sam did the only thing that made sense to her then. Something that she would have never done in her whole life if she didn't lose almost all her friend to some cannibalistic monster.

She took Ashley head between her two hands and crashed her lips against her friend's one.

Ashley was schock, for two seconds. Two seconds only, but too much. She pushed Sam away, softly though, and when she seperated Sam's lips from her own, the blond finnaly understood what she just had done.

"Oh my god Ashley I'm so sorry...

- It's okay Sam, hey, it's okay, I'm not mad."

Sam ran to the bedroom and locked it behind her, starting to cry again.

Are you deranged like me?
Do you call yourself a fucking hurricane like me?

Sam only showed up when it was time for her medical appointment. She was fine, at least physically, and the doctor said that she wasn't going to be pregnant or anything, which was a big relief for Ashley. It was a relief for Sam too, but she didn't really care about anything anymore.

The doctor told Ashley that the blond should see her psychologist ; she said she was going to talk to her about it.

But the seconds they came back at the appartment, Sam locked herself in the bedroom.

She hadn't eating anything in one day and a half. She didn't care.

Are you strange like me?

Lighting matches just to swallow up the flame like me?

One more day not seeing Sam was too much for Ashley. She found some old screwdriver and forced her way into the bedroom.

Sam was on the bed, lighint matches Ashley didn't even know she had.

Before Ashley could say anything, the blond spoke to her without even looking away from the little stick.

"I'm not doing anything. See?" she said before blowing out the matches. "Nothing's gonna happen. I just... Needed something to do."

Ashley sat down next to her.

"Okay. Want me to join you ?

-Why not."

Sam took another matche to light it up, watching it until she had to blow it out before it burned her fingers.

I think there's a flaw in my code
These voices won't leave me alone
Well my heart is GOLD and my hands are COLD.

So. Here it is. Please don't hate me, I swear Sam is my second fave, I'm not making her suffer that much for nothing I promise. xD

I have more plan to this story but I don't know if I will ever write it, so I decided to write an end to this one shot. And I want to do a time jump so it fit.

Anyway, I'm really fond of writing english Until Dawn fiction, so expect another chapter. It took me one week to make this one so maybe in two or three weeks.

Love you all and don't forget to leave a review so I can know what you guys think (^u^)

Edit August 9th, 2017: chapter two will come soon. Sorry it took so long. Life is a bitch.