Yamamoto Takeshi had what you call a Tragic Past. Men with Tragic Pasts were often mysterious, brave and hot. These all could apply to Takeshi, but his not quite devil-may-care but perhaps devil-likes-balls (baseballs) attitude could be seen as a turn-off. Not that this had happened often. Still considered one of the most attractive (and possibly most sane) out of all the students, he had gathered an army of fangirls. In fact, the fearsome stalkers had created a religion worshipping him. "Takeshi our Senpai, You art our obsession, Boy-Meat be thy name".

Not that he knew.

.. Yet.

Takeshi could no longer count the number of times he'd ran down the street in his pyjamas screaming that, no, Gasai-san, those were his boxers…

Regardless, the attention didn't make the hot boy with a Tragic Past any less oblivious, but it certainly refrained him from ever becoming boring. It was his Tragic Past that brought him to Tsuna, and for that he was thankful. Seeing that he was A Hot Guy With A Tragic Past it was unlikely he'd ever fall for the Mary-Sue next door, or the Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way with the mental handicap. No. Instead, he developed a crush on the most Dere boy to ever be DereDere.

He just didn't know it yet. The poor fool probably thought it was normal to use the perverted Shamal voice (the one that all consciences have) when thinking of your friends. So on Wednesdays when his conscience wolf-whistled that that skirt with those legs was a yes, he presumably just laughed and agreed. But honestly, that kid had a lot going for him. A great personality, adorable face, and the fact that he was the one person Taskeshi could call a friend.

So when Tsuna announces that tomorrow is the start of World Crossdressing Week, Takeshi just smiles and nods along because damn, this must be his lucky day. Yesterday was National Moe Appreciation day and now this? Takeshi's conscience is performing the haka in euphoria. He mentions briefly that his Tragic Past refrains him from owning any woman's clothes, and Tsuna tells him that he'll just have to be Tsuki enough for both of them. Takeshi laughs, thinking it's a joke.

It's really not.

Tsuna's really not as boring as he thinks, Takeshi smiles. He's really lucky, he thinks again, that he has Tsuna. All they have is each other. Their friendship is so meaningful; so unique. He sighs in content.

"I wonder if a week is enough time to collect a harem," Tsuna says.

*"*"*"*"*"*"*

When I was twelve, I went to the guidance councillor. I had it all planned out. I'd tell her how meaningless everything was. How useless my being was. How dame. I'd tell her how lonely I felt, and how boring my life was. How I wanted to be something more.

All of that went out the window when she greeted me.

"Something up Dame-Tsuna?"

*"*"*"*"*"*"*

Day #1 of World Crossdressing Week is very stressful. Firstly, Tsuna can't quite decide what to wear. The skirt he'd bought the day prior (having earned him a lot of stares) is unflattering, and the evening gown is, unfortunately, too flashy. He knows by now his orange jumpers and shirts are girl social-suicide, and so has to ask his mother. She calls up from the kitchen that she'll promise to help, as long as he comes out of the closet.

Tsuna bangs his head on a shelf on the way out and concusses himself. His mother finds him surrounded by dresses and crop-tops and mourns in silence.

*"*"*"*"*"*"*

There were many types of girl, Tsuna learns, but he emphasizes most with the Babe In Total Control of Herself most, also known as a B.I.T.C.H. He also has some worrying fangirl tendencies, as Yamamoto Takeshi learns that night.

"Takeshi!" Tsuna's voice buzzes through the phone. "I think I've found love!

"Yeah?" Takeshi asks, disappointment swelling at Tsuna's braggadocio tone. "Where?" Tsuna squeals like the girl he probably is.

"Chapter 3!"

*"*"*"*"*"*"*

As a fangirl Tsuna can finally appreciate great works of literature. Of fanfiction. By now he's learned the highs and lows of writing- the "Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful?"to the fascinatingly descriptive comparing of lips to bubble-gum.

He also now realizes how perverted the majority of every fandom was. Tsuna has learned things he can never forget. He has witnessed lines he will never unsee. He never knew that lollipops could work like that.

Besides, Tsuna's pretty sure fanfiction is where Kira was born. He's developed such a god-complex recently that he's beginning to think Drarry is canon. That Percy Jackson joined Chaos. That the wimpy kid with the gravity-defying hair became a mafia boss and got really powerful and fought a lot of hot guys and slowly and unknowingly gathered a murderous (yet good-looking) harem.

Tsuna's feeling inspired. And an inspired Tsunayoshi is an awestriking madman in drag.

So, with the aid of a webcam and his good friend Benicio (previously Bianchi), he sets up an account on a dating site. Unfortunately, the site is in Italian and Tsuna can only have faith in Benicio's word as she sets up his profile.

"I want it to be honest," Tsuna was saying. "You know. Nothing too exaggerated. I don't want to sound desperate."

Benicio however is no-nonsense. "Nessun modo!" She argues. "Io, Benicio, so l'amore."

Tsuna has learned that Benicio's angle is the 'Hot Foreign Dude', and flips open a dictionary. "Yes way!" He disagrees. "Also, why are you putting in that I'm eighteen?"

"Stupido," she sighs, her accent immediately giving her the upper hand. Tsuna doesn't even bother looking up the translation. "You aren't legal yet, Tsuki."

"Oh," Tsuna isn't sure how to retort to this. That's right. He's just a (somewhat hipster) fourteen year old crossdresser aspiring to become a writer.

"Tsuki, it's finished!" Benicio declares brightly. "Should I get the cookies?"

"Uh," Tsuna racks through his mind for an excuse. Something believable, something believable… "I ate Takeshi. I'm full. I mean-"

"Forget I asked," Benicio tells him, smiling in patronizing amusement. Tsuna remembers that she is, in fact, his elder. His perverted, strange, fanfiction-writing and not-boring elder.

"Can I see it?" Tsuna asks, scooting over. "Ooh…"

Nome: Tsuki Sawada

Età: 18

Genere: femminile

Capelli: castani e lanuginosa

Occhi: Come una cerva

Altezza: Super breve

Ama: Cioccolatini, rose, e rischiare la vita

Lati negativi: La noia, tristezza e rabbia

Una citazione per descrivere te: "In my head like a damn stampede, corvette mindset, vroom vroom- high speed."

Una cosa che vorresti dire? : Mi annoio D

Messaggio: sexy come una pecora ubriaco su meth.

"I don't understand any of that," Tsuna ventures.

"I didn't expect you to."

"Will you tell me what it means?" He asked, watching the save screen load. He ducks his head, hoping his gravity-defying fringe will hide the fear in his eyes.

Benicio can smell fear.

"Maybe someday."

"Why is there a winky face?"

"I'm not sorry."

"Benicio, what does the Altezza one say? And why does the last one have the word 'sexy' in it? I told you not to lie! What did you say about me?"

"I can't tell you," Benicio says in cruel victory. "It's finished."

Tsuki realizes, in that desperate moment, that she has damned herself.

*"*"*"*"*"*"*

"Benicio, the room smells like marshmallows. It's so dirty though. Is that the kind of thing you post?"

"I'll send it."

6:30

Tsuki: La mia stanza è così sporco ;)

Tsuki: Sento odore di come marshmallow. Gusto come uno di troppo.

*"*"*"*"*"*"*

Tsuna does not expect a reply so fast, but as soon Bianchi finishes typing up a suspiciously long notice the screen glows in pride.

"Bya has messaged you," she reads out in Japanese, for Tsuna's sake.

6:31

Bya: Sembri interessante. Ti va di chattare? Mi piace marshmallow.

"What's it say, what's it say?"

"You seem interesting, want to chat? He likes marshmallows."

"Check his profile. He might be super old and creepy like Nezu or something."

"Of course," Bianchi says naturally, clicking on his profile and scanning through it like a pro. "You know, I met Reborn on a site like this."

"No, and who?"

"Oh, he was just… I don't know, Tsuki. He was so violent, yet passionate, and…" she sighs wistfully.

"Like Hibari-san?"

Bianchi stops midsentence to turn and stare. "Like Hibari-san," she agrees slowly. Clearing her throat, she continues, "His name is Gesso Byakuran. He's eighteen, tall, with white hair and purple eyes. He likes marshmallows and his favourite word is 'World Peace'. He hates weak people and would like to destroy the world someday."

"That sounds… a little counterproductive," Tsuna admits. "Oh well," it's not like he has much to lose, he decides foolishly. "Agree."

The world-changing sound of Bianchi clicking the 'accept chat request' button will haunt him forever.
*"*"*"*"*"*"*

White light floods the screen and Tsuna blinks, slowly adjusting. "Hello? Is someone there and do they speak Japanese."

"No," comes a voice. "And also… no. Sorry!"

"Damn it, Benicio," Tsuna exhales, turning to his friend. "What are we going to do?"

He can make out her disbelieving face and understands she is clearly as surprised as he is. As always, Tsuna is wrong.

"Stupido," Benicio mutters, returning to 'Hot Foreign Dude' mode. "He's right there and speaking Japanese."

Tsuna pauses. "Oh."

"Haha! Now, let's talk marshmallows, Tsuki-chan…"

*"*"*"*"*"*"*

Tsuna vows never to tell anyone what was spoke of during that conversation. There was, admittedly, talk of candy and world domination, but more followed and he is truly scarred for life.

Somehow he now has a sponsor, though, and his road to becoming a writer is now far smoother.

*"*"*"*"*"*"*

In return for the money and support? Tsuna's address, true gender, and name.

*"*"*"*"*"*"*

AN: I do not speak Italian. I know some French, German, Latin and Irish, but I do not speak Italian. However, here are some rough translations:

Age: 18

Female gender

Hair: brown and fluffy

Eyes: As a doe

Height: Super short

He loves: Chocolates, roses, and risk their lives

Minuses: The boredom, sadness and anger

A quote to describe you: "In my head like a damn stampede, corvettes mindset, vroom vroom- high speed."

One thing I'd like to say? : I'm bored ;D

Message: Sexy as a drunk sheep on meth.

Then, My room is so dirty ;)

I smell like marshmallows. Taste just like one too. (ooh)

Basically, Benicio tells the truth. But twists it. A lot. And perverts it. As one does.

And yes, Byakuran has appeared before Reborn. I'm going to hold back on bringing Reborn in too soon, but it'll be a short fic anyway. Yes, there is plot. I already know the ending. It's just putting everything together that's hard. It's in multiple pieces because I wrote it over, maybe, two weeks. I was lazy. Sorry. Far more references because of my fangirl friends who won't stop gushing over this and that.