"…I'm a foolish, fragile spine, I want all that is not mine…"

From The Ashes

ten, smother by daughter

V

"It's Christmas-time~!" Botan sang giddily, flying through the morning air. Yusuke clung loosely to her, watching the people bustling below them.

"Christmas, huh?"

It was her first Christmas without her mother and Keiko there. They didn't celebrate it all that much, she and Atsuko, just a "merry Christmas" here and there. They didn't have the money to waste on gifts. Keiko, in that vein, didn't buy them anything or expect anything in return. Still, she'd always offered them a free meal at her parent's place.

It was her way of contributing to the holiday cheer. Charity, probably. Yusuke snorted.

"Yusuke," Botan pouted, "that dour attitude is ruining my enjoyment of this lovely atmosphere!"

"Are you even Christian?" Yusuke asked incredulously.

Religion was a weird topic when one had evidence of the afterlife. From what she'd seen, it was exactly what Japanese seniors expected: the roads of Yomi and the Sanzu River with King Enma presiding over all of it. There were multiple gods in Shinto, though. Yusuke wondered if they all existed or if some weren't the product of overactive human imagination.

"Hmph," Botan huffed. "I am beholden to Prince Koenma. That doesn't mean I can't enjoy the mood. The giving nature! The good cheer! This aura of positivity must even be nurturing your egg!"

Yusuke palmed the golden orb through her skirt. "You think?"

Now that she was focusing, she could feel something. It was like smoke, hanging in the air around them. Not like a bonfire or incense—more like fresh-baked bread. A scent that drew one in. She couldn't help but smile at it.

Botan grinned at her.

Yusuke glared back.

Then, Botan suddenly dipped a bit in the air, as if pressed down by a headwind.

"Wha-?" Yusuke began to ask, but stopped as she felt it. The heaviness pressing into her chest was unlike anything she'd ever felt. It squeezed up from her throat, choking her.

It was tears. Yusuke felt like she was going to cry.

No, that was stupid. Yusuke wasn't going to cry. It was the air that felt like that.

"Oh dear," Botan whispered. "This doesn't click with the rest of the festival."

"There's always one odd-man out."

"I understand your reasoning, Yusuke, but this is supernatural in origin." Botan was searching the crowds more closely now. Yusuke futilely glanced around but saw nothing but happy faces. The pressure seemed to come from every direction.

"Like a curse or something?"

"No, no, I don't think so… There! Over there!"

She shot forward on her oar, angling for whatever she had seen. As they approached, Yusuke realized the target was a young, mousy looking girl. She wore a big sweater over a collared blouse and a long skirt that was just a few years out of date. With her hair curling around her shoulders and her bangs falling just shy of her eyes, she had a closed-off look about her.

Well, maybe just a "proper" air, Yusuke second-guessed herself. She had soft, sad eyes. She was also just as see-through as the dead schoolgirl herself. The bench she sat at was as visible at it would have been had she not existed at all.

How was she sitting there, Yusuke wondered? Some trick Botan hadn't taught her, or some power that came from age? They'd gone over how spirits gained power with exposure to other sources, especially when the spirit was without its body.

"God, she's so depressed," Yusuke said.

"A lost soul longing for something she cannot have again," Botan diagnosed. "It's my job, our job now, to raise such souls. But this pressure is so much!" She gave Yusuke an unsure look. "It might not be easy. She's earth-bound, chained to a place with a lot of meaning for her."

"So, like a haunting?"

"A bit like one, though hauntings are usually malicious. She doesn't strike me as that sort."

Yeah, Yusuke was getting that too. She was staring at the ground, ignoring the crowds shoving around her and, in some cases, through her. She was an old hat at this spirit thing, apparently. That had scared the shit out of Yusuke the first few (dozen) times.

"So is chained like, literal? She can't leave at all?" Yusuke glanced at Botan, only to find that the ferry girl was swiftly floating down to the bench girl. Why on earth she'd been expected Spirit World's Number One to share any more information was beyond Yusuke. What, no plan? Botan? Nah, never.

Not that Yusuke had any room to talk.

Still: "Botan, what the fuck."

Yusuke joined her sort-of mentor at the girl's side, hovering over the back of the bench. Botan, true to form, was smiling like a loon and giving her the best kitten impression she had.

"I'm an escorter of souls, ferry girl Botan, at your service~!"

"Botan, read the mood please," Yusuke hissed. Did she always give the dead that happy go-lucky attitude? Oh, don't worry if you're dead, I'm super nice!

"Oh." The girl looked up at Botan through her bangs. Her eyes were wet with emotion, though Yusuke would be hard-pressed to say just what. "Hello…"

"Good morning!" Botan said cheerily.

"Uhm," the girl looked back to the ground and her fingers twisted together in her lap. "There's already been two or three people who've come to talk to me. I… appreciate it"—appreciate was maybe not the word she wanted, judging by her tone—"but I'm waiting for someone and I don't want to leave yet. Sorry."

Oh. Oh. Ooooh.

Botan seemed shocked. "W- waiting for someone?"

"It's mostly wishful on my fault," the girl denied. She blushed prettily. "But maybe…"

"So you're waiting for someone, huh?" Yusuke grinned salaciously, extending a pinky to the girl.

"Yusuke, please!"

The girl was blushing harder, though. "His name is Kenji."

She seemed like the type to praise her lover. How cute.

"We had a… a date," she practically choked on the word, turning red as the lights on the Christmas tree in the center of the square. She paused, face falling. "We were going to meet here at noon, then go window-shopping. However, I- I became ill. I wanted to contact him. But then I…"

Died, Yusuke finished the thought for her. How sick did someone have to get to be unable to contact someone? Had she lived alone, unable to even reach the phone, to call for help? It was horrible to imagine, someone burning up and feverishly calling for anyone—or maybe for this Kenji guy. How often had she thought of him as she lay dying?

"And your longings drew you here," Botan prompted.

"Yes, I suspect so," she muttered. "I was so afraid he'd think I stood him up. I wanted to apologize. I've waited here since last Christmas, hoping for my chance. Just, just for tonight. Just a little longer."

"That is…," Botan began but didn't finish. She looked helplessly to Yusuke.

This is your job, lady, she thought, but said anyway, "He probably already found out what happened. There's no point to sitting here."

"Yes, I know," she smiled. It was a little lost but happy nonetheless. Yusuke felt her heart soften in return. "I like to think here. I like watching the people go by, though. So many young couples on dates—their faces are beautiful. They're all so full of love and life."

God, she was like a hallmark card. Yusuke was gonna start braiding flowers if she sat here much longer. Though, she wasn't as light and fluffy as she advertised. That pressing spiritual power had lessened as they talked but it was still in the air, clinging like smog to Yusuke's lungs.

"And I was hoping that, if I waited, I'd see him again," she breathed, almost too quiet to be heard. "God would perhaps grant me one last wish."

"Is that possible?" Yusuke whispered in Botan's ear.

"It's not really Jesus's jurisdiction," she hemmed.

Holy shit, Jesus was a real guy? Well, obviously, she knew that he was real at some point. But he was like, a god or something?

Yusuke resolved to get some answers on the metaphysical front later.

For now, a little waiting wouldn't hurt too much.

"Hey," she addressed the girl. "I'm Urameshi Yusuke. You mind if I wait with you?"

Her smile spread like the light of dawn, slowly but surely. "I'm Tachibana Kyouko. I'd be honored if you waited with me, Miss Urameshi."

"Bah, call me Yusuke," she corrected, flopping down to float next to her. If she concentrated, she could even feel the padding in her shoulder pressing through her own blouse. "You're probably older than me."

"Oh, you died young too," Kyouko brought a hand to her lips. "I'm so sorry."

"Nah, it's not such a big deal," Yusuke denied. She didn't want to let her know that she was up for resurrection—talk about rubbing salt in a wound. Though Kyouko didn't seem like the type to hold a grudge. Not from the way she blushed and shifted away from the contact between them.

They sat there, chatting about their former lives, one eye on the clock as it ticked down to noon, when they had agreed to meet. Kyouko didn't have any family, it seemed, and had never known them, either. She'd been fostered for a time but when she was in high school she moved away on her own. Though it had been her undoing, she didn't regret it.

"The independence was good for me," Kyouko assessed. "I came out of my shell. I finally met a boy I liked and was invited on a date! I'd never change it, even if I could."

The tale of Yusuke's own delinquency and death by impact with a car was received with horror that perhaps was overemphasized. Yusuke saw excitement and interest in the corner of her eyes and the upward tick of her mouth. For all her demeanor, Kyouko was a wild child at heart, she decided.

"That's such a noble way to die. I almost wish I'd had a better death, hearing that," she said, then immediately pressed her hands together in apology. "I'm sorry. That was thoughtless; it must have been scary. I can't imagine how much it hurt."

"It didn't really," Yusuke recalled. "I remember the impact but there wasn't any pain. Like, I felt it but I didn't feel it, I guess."

"Hm," Botan hummed. They hadn't really talked about her death since, well, her death. This was probably news to her; or, at least it was different to hear it from Yusuke herself rather than reading it in her little gray book.

"Miss Kyouko, if your wish is fulfilled, you have to leave, okay?" Botan begged. "It isn't healthy to be stuck in one place or even to be without guide."

Kyouko didn't respond, staring at her fingers instead.

The clock ticked.

Noon came and went with nothing remarkable occurring. Kyouko didn't make any move to leave and, with a few false starts from Botan, neither did they.

"It's one-thirty," Yusuke observed. "I don't think this guy is coming, Kyouko."

"He's always this late," she replied. "Sometimes, he's an hour late or more."

"What!" Yusuke sat up suddenly. Waiting for hours for some guy to show up was unconscionable.

Kyouko giggled.

"I kind of like the way he runs towards me when he's late, looking a little afraid that I'm angry. Assuaging his worries is nice."

"I don't understand at all?" Yusuke was stressed. "I'd break a bone for every minute after!"

Botan gave Yusuke a bop on the head that the girl just waved off. As if Botan would be any more lenient. Woman packed a wallop.

Every hour after that was increasingly nerve wracking. Kyouko just smiled, though. She honestly waited this long for that guy before, she said. Yusuke was flabbergasted.

"His hair better be made of gold," she muttered, glaring at the clock. 1:45.

"Oh my god," Kyouko shuddered. She was staring, wide-eyed, at the station as commuters poured out. Only one was obviously walking towards them—a teenager with short black hair and a blazer over street clothes.

"Kenji…"

"No fucking way," Yusuke whispered, elated. Botan grabbed her hands. "Oh, the gods really did!"

The man looked around, scanning the crowd. Then, miracle on miracles, he made a beeline right for the bench. Like he could see Kyouko.

"Hey," he huffed, out of breath, "Sorry I'm late."

"No," Kyouko started, "Kenji, I… I just—"

"So slow!" A sing-song voice came from behind them. A woman leaned over the back of the bench, putting an arm right through Yusuke's head. The schoolgirl jerked out of the way. Gross.

"I was waiting for thirty minutes, you jerk, I was ready to leave," she continued.

Kenji paused, glancing right at Kyouko. "Huh."

Yusuke's rising hopes were dashed once more when he shrugged, "That reminded me of something."

"Hm?"

"Yeah, she was totally fine no matter how late I was," he laughed. "I had this bet with my friends that she'd wait five hours for me to show last Christmas! Sucks because it was the only day she didn't wait. I lost, like, ten thousand yen."

"You got played," the girl laughed. "What happened to her?"

"Dunno, why keep up with someone like that? I've got a new girl like that, anyway."

He didn't flinch at all when Yusuke put her fist through his head. That didn't stop her from trying.

"Botan?" She said, deathly calm. "Teach how me how to fuck him up."

"I can't do that," Botan huffed, though her eyebrows twitched angrily.

Kyouko buried her face in her hands. "If I had… If I had been well that Christmas, I definitely would have waited that long. I'm such… I'm so…"

Quiet sobs followed Yusuke as she ran after the pair.

"Kick his ass, bitch! He's probably two-timing you, too," Yusuke shouted after the woman he was leaving with. "You ain't special!"

They just climbed down into the subway.

Yusuke felt anger bubbling up in her chest. If someone had done that to her—no, to Keiko—no, to Kyouko. She would have knocked him flat. Keiko wouldn't be stood up by some slick son-of-a-bitch, she was prime material. People were honored to be in her presence.

"That stupid MOTHERFUCKER!" Yusuke screamed.

She spun on her heel and grabbed Kyouko's hands. She was so startled she stopped crying, staring into Yusuke's intense eyes with trepidation.

"Listen: forget about him! There is absolutely no point in crying over that heartless dumbass. He wasn't good enough for you and he never will be!"

"But, but just, just like that?"

"Listen! Sitting here is stupid! Nothing good will happen!" She yanked on Kyouko's hands. There was that weight, that pressure, but it was nothing in the face of her righteous fury. "Girls have fun at times like this! Let's get loose!"

She dragged Kyouko with her into the air.

"But where are we going?"

"Yusuke!" Botan called after her. "You're breaking the rules!"

Yusuke twirled Kyouko over the star on the tree, spinning her and bringing her flush to her chest. "Look, look, look at all those people! All those people you watched for so long!"

Kyouko looked down at the square with wide eyes.

"Those people, those people aren't nearly as lucky as you are. They're stuck down there, we're floating up here. How many people can say they danced on a star?"

Tears were gathering in the corner of her eyes, but the older girl shook her head. "Not many!"

And she led Yusuke through a waltz, laughing when the middle schooler got the steps wrong. Laughing when Yusuke pretended to fall off the tree, only to float up on the other side with a dumb smile.

As the magic faded from the dancing, when it was clear that she was thinking of someone else, Yusuke grabbed Kyouko again and flew off towards the amusement park. They hitched a ride on someone's car, then gallivanted from vehicle to vehicle, running like they were in some anime.

The rollercoasters were scarier outside of the cars—Kyouko showed her how to hang on to the backs (you've got to want it more than anything, you've got to remember what it feels like, got to push yourself to do it)—and more than once Yusuke let go just to fly off the back, tumbling through the air. Kyouko did it once and they grabbed onto each other, laughing and shrieking.

Yusuke spotted a drive-in theater halfway through the arc of her fall and they were off again. Each activity, Kyouko paused a little less. Looked away a little less. Smiled a little wider. She was thrilled. She led the girl on a wild romp through the city.

There was a lot to miss about being alive. Sensation, gravity, the strength of her body—but there was a lot of fun stuff too involved in being a ghost.

Kyouko clung to her through the action flick, grinning and gasping at all the right parts.

"How are we going to pay?" She asked.

Yusuke laughed. "Are you kidding, it's totally free! Dead girl discount!"

They both giggled on their way out of the theater.

"What should we do next?"

"Oh, Yusuke," Kyouko sighed happily. "I'm so tired. I've never played so hard in my life."

"Yeah," the delinquent agreed. "I can't say I've ever done anything like this."

If they could just have some wine and wind the night down, staring at the stars, it would be the perfect date. Yusuke had never been on a date, of course, but she imagined it was something like this. When she glanced back to Kyouko, the girl was beaming up at the sky.

"Hey, there we go! That's a smile!" Yusuke smiled back. "You're lovely, Kyouko."

The girl blushed and looked at her feet.

"Hey, don't look down," Yusuke said, pulling her chin up. "It's fine."

She had tears shining in her eyes again but the smile was firmly in place.

"My boyfriend never said anything like that to me."

"That's not a boyfriend, Kyouko, that's a jerk."

As the night deepened, they watched the lights of the city come to life.

"You wouldn't have seen this if you'd stayed on that bench."

"No, I wouldn't have."

After a moment, Yusuke smirked.

"Hey, that prick's in one of these buildings. Let him know how you really feel!"

Kyouko smiled at her. Then, she inhaled mightily and cried: "Thank you, Kenji! Goodbye!"

"Whoa, what, call him a two-timing pervert! Crush his ego! Squish him like a bug!"

"I'm really grateful though," Kyouko decided, "because I never would have met you if things didn't work out this way."

Yusuke's mouth snapped shut.

"So, even though the situation is different than what I thought at first, I still think I wouldn't change anything if I could."

Yusuke felt heat rising to her cheeks.

"Can I hug you, Yusuke?" Kyouko asked shyly.

Yusuke didn't speak, just nodded her head.

It was odd, the feeling that someone was touching her again. Botan felt like a balloon full of air, like she wasn't human, just shaped that way. Kyouko, on the other hand, was warm and gentle. She felt like flesh, despite the fact that both girls were nothing but breath and spirit. Yusuke pulled her in tight, hiding her face in her hair.

Ah, how nice to be held by someone.

"Are you ready to go?" A kindly voice asked.

Yusuke jumped away from Kyouko, rubbing her nose so she didn't have to show Botan and Kyouko her face.

"Yusuke, thank you so much for today," her voice reached her over Yusuke's own sniffles.

"D- don't get bullied again, okay?" Yusuke said, her voice creaky with tears. "Be careful!"

"You'll be the first to know if I meet someone, okay, Yusuke! Keep in touch with me!"

"Yeah."

Swallowing her pride, Yusuke looked up to find Botan and Kyouko drifting away.

She waved, and Kyouko waved back.

Goodbye.

[time isn't real so here's christmas. there's like three and a half more side stories to get through (which really only set up future stories) and then its the adventures of a not-so-dead girl. thanks for sticking with me]

Extended Edition

Oh wait. One more thing.

"Time's almost up! Let's check if she's still there! I'm gonna win this time for sure."

Brrring. Brrring. Brrr-click.

How dare you play with me.

"What the hell, who is this?"

I'll drag you to hell.

Bzzz-CLACK.

"Oh my god, the lights, Kenji!"

Flash. flASH.

Fl ASH.

"Wh-wh-what is that!?"

"Junko, if that's you, cut it out, I said I was sorry!"

FLASH.

"Akiko! Hirumi? I know, Kazuki!"

"How may girls are you playing with, you bastard! You've been lying to me!"

"Oh my god, the door!"

Click, clack. Unlock.

U ra me shiiiiIIIIII

A ferry girl, watching the flickering lights in the apartment, was proud despite herself. "That's not very nice, Yusuke."

But I'll pretend I didn't see it.