Hello. It's been along time since I've written a fanfition, so bare with me. Here you are!

Sincerely, SolsticeBorn

Error 404

Chapter 1 - Sharing Cigarettes

Three AM.

Here I am again, staring at the peeling paint on the ceiling of my shitty apartment. The sounds of city sirens fill my studio. Do I even know what sleep is anymore?

I smell the leftover burning plastic from my neighbor across the hall. This happens every so often, I sometimes wonder if he is cooking meth in there. I wouldn't be surprised, the way his blue eyes bulge out just a bit, and his slender frame. No, that couldn't be. Also, he hardly visitors, besides the girl that stops by a few times a month... shit maybe that is his dealer. How judgmental of me. He seems like a nice guy, I should actually talk to him sometime. How beautifully mysterious he is, always hiding in that generic black hoodie.

Stop it, Sappho, your mind is wondering again... I attempt to shake him out of my thoughts and roll over, closing my eyes, in attempt to sleep.

My mind brings me to that awkward stare he sends when he passes by me in the hall. His eyes are so deep, depressed, and innocent; but something hides within them that I can't help being curious about. If only I could gain the courage to just say hello. Unfortunately, my social anxiety really likes to just keep me at home, doodling his face and painting my sorrows on cheap canvas. What a life; no job, living in a suck-ass apartment just so I can stretch out that inheritance from my dead parents, and maybe one real friend to call my own. Though, Steven is a sassy gay man, who really knows how to piss me off, but he is always knows how to get me out of the studio.

Social media has been my only way to connect with "people", which is laughable. Posting pictures of my eccentric makeup, vegan food, and my next crazy hair color just to see if my followers will comment. A false comfort. Social media, the one place I haven't been able to find my neighbor. I know his name, Elliot Alderson, from which I caught a glance at when he was retrieving his mail. I'm starting to feel a bit crazy, as if I'm desperately stalking him. Is that what I have become? Creating scenarios in my head of us getting a drink together, having a cigarette on the stoop, and even kissing those full lips... Yes, I'm going mad.

My eyes slowly open.

"I'm not getting any more sleep," I speak to the silence in my room as I sit up in my memory foam bed; black, Egyptian cotton sheets slide off me. At least it feels like a nice apartment on the inside. I swing my Legs over the left side of my bed, and reach for the pack of cigarettes I left on my nightstand, open them and peer in.

"Well, fuck." I chuckle to myself. I need a fucking cigarette. Pacing over to my dresser, I pull out some black leggings, a plain black bra, and an oversized lavender tank with the words for "fuck off" stamped on it in Japanese. This will work. Casually, I throw my NIN tee on the bed and roughly slip on the offensive clothing, bra obviously showing on all sides of my tank.

"Whatever." I sigh, as I grab my wallet, slip on my black combat boots, and a fitted black hoodie, then drag my feet out the door, slowly moving past Elliot's room. Silence; sometimes I hear faint sobbing, it makes me feel like I'm not so alone.

"Camel Turkish Silver." I manage to suggest to the cashier, my eyes fixed on the counter. I hear him grab the box and the scanner beep.

"It's a bit late for a girl like you to be out. You be safe out there." He smiles at me as I lift my head cautiously. I smile back, and hand him my card. I grab the pact off the counter, not forgetting to grab my card back from him and head out the door.

"That was enough social interaction for one night." I whisper, lighting the cigarette in my hand. Ah, finally. I stare right back at my feet and continue to head "home".

"Shit!" I exclaim as I ram right into a chiseled chest. "I'm so sorry..." I look up... it's him. FUCK, FUCK, FUCK! His face is filled with shock, but suddenly it softens.

"It's okay," he replies awkwardly. We stare at each other for a moment. Simultaneously, we look up and see our apartment. This is going to be an uncomfortable walk back up the stairs. This is your chance, Sappho! I light up another cigarette and plop down on the concrete steps.

"Um, I don't know if you smoke, but would you like one?" I offer. Great, what if he doesn't?

"Sure," he answers plainly, as I hand him one. I flick my lighter and hold it towards him; he accepts, leans towards me and pulls a drag from the flame. So close, my heart begins to race. Stop it! Just breathe.

"You live just down the hall to me," He says attempting to engage conversation, as he sits down beside me. My heart begins pounding in my ears. Has is really been that long, Sappho?

"Uh...ye-yeah," I stammer. Smooth, Sappho, smooth. I can smell his spicy body spray, which is strangely calming. I manage to compose myself enough to look up at him. He's so focused on me, as if I'm a new specimen to study. "I'm Sappho."

"I'm Elliot," he introduces himself, managing an uncomfortable half smile, blue eyes still fixed on mine. Turning away quickly, I take another long puff off my cancer stick. Silence once again. Well this is going great. Two socially awkward people trying to converse, laughable. I could really use a drink right now; there is a bottle of rum waiting for me upstairs. Should I invite him? No, that would be weird; we've only just introduced ourselves. If it gets weird his room is only down the hall, he could just leave. What if, it does end up weird and we don't talk anymore? What if, it doesn't? What if... oh, fuck it!

"Hey, I know we have only just met; well introduced ourselves, and I know it's like five in the morning," I hesitate; those eyes are staring so intently, "So it's cool if you say no, but would you mind joining me for a shot of rum?"

Silence. He looks at the ground only to exhale the last bit of smoke in his lungs. My heart sinks; and I can feel my loneliness sinking in once again. I don't want to spend another night crying myself to sleep. I stand up abruptly and head towards the door. "That was a silly question, I'm sorry I-"

I feel him behind me. "No. It's okay, I'll join you."