Summary: To grant his dying mother's wish Ritsu decides to reengage his fiancé and marry her. In pain but still so in love, Takano tells himself that he's satisfied being Ritsu's second while Ritsu, afraid to hurt Takano any further, refuses to continue their relationship. Will their inescapable love last? TakanoxRitsu

The Affair

The frequent visits were starting to take a toll on him. While emotions and thoughts Onodera Ritsu were able to suppress, his body was unavoidably failing him as the nights grew longer. He wanted to escape. He wanted to leave town and never look back at the father who inherited a company only to pass it along to his feet nor look back at the mother who had been diagnosed with such fatal illness. Every moment felt like shackles binding his life to a fate he wanted to escape and in the process he knew that the life he envisioned for himself was was becoming undone, in one string of sanity at a time.

When he opened the door she was there.

She had been there since the beginning, both when mother had first collapsed and way back when- when Onodera was becoming a man. It almost felt right for her to be there and it seemed too cruel to let her walk away when all she wanted was one thing in return.

Onodera Ritsu shook his head as he sat across from the hospital bed.

"Are you okay?"

She spoke carefully and Ritsu finally lifted his head to face her.

"I'm sorry, An-chan, I'm fine," he smiled. "I can look after her now, it's late so you should go home and rest."

"I-I can stay with you, Ricchan, if you'd like."

He knew she meant it from the bottom of her heart. He knew that she was willing to stay, that she was willing to do anything he'd ask from her. Kohinata An put her small hand on Ritsu's shoulder, and in a fast movement he had grabbed it and pulled on it in desperation.

She gathered his shoulders into her stomach and she held him while standing up besides him. He had begun to cry, facing away from his mother and head deeply buried into An's sweater. The brunette gently stroked Ritsu's back and she cried together, realizing just how weak and scared Ritsu was at the present moment.

"I'm sorry I can't do anything for you, Ricchan," she spoke softly in between her tears. "But I'm going to be with you, I'm going to be here."

He cried harder, letting himself be comforted for once, but failed to feel his vibrating phone in his coat jacket.

It was dawn when he woke up. He saw An-chan sleeping at the foot of the bed with her head resting on her arms. He stood up and immediately took off his coat to cover her shoulders. Feeling restless Ritsu quietly left the room to wash his face and gather himself. When he returned he had realized his mother was awake, carefully writing something as if she was crafting a letter. His heart broke into countless pieces- as he watched his mother attempt to write. He could see the struggle in her eyes. There must be so many things she wished to express but she was chased by the thought of time.

He swallowed his tears and walked up to her. Before his mother, the walls he had built so high were crumbling like sand.

"Oka-san," he called her as he held back his tears. "What are you doing?"

She wasn't surprised to see him, just relieved.

"I saw how she comforted you, Ritsu. I saw how she held you when I couldn't."

"Ka-san," He tried to explain.

"She's going to take care of you when I'm not here. She's going to love you when I can't, Ritsu."

"Don't say these things to me, don't tell me-" Tears gathered, they soon became overflowing with grief.

"I just have one wish, Ritsu- I just want to see you happily married and settled in. I know you felt burdened by the family name- but for me, Ritsu, marrying into Onodera meant I got to have you as my son."

"Oka-san," He whispered as his mother continued.

"I need to see that you'll be okay without me, Ritsu, please." She began to cry as her son wiped his own tears.

He held her hands and in a quick whisper he answered, "Whatever you need." She finally laughed- and Ritsu realized just how beautiful his mother's smile was. She hugged him, her only son, and he hugged her back never wanting to take that smile off her face.

Ritsu walked into work later than most. Marukawa decided to accommodate his 'situation' by letting his hours shift to a later time- but also meaning that he wouldn't end work till way past midnight. Ritsu was nonetheless grateful because it meant dealing with less co-workers and getting his work done when it was less chaotic and more alone.

Ritsu didn't mind his team, matter in fact he was constantly encouraged by their support, but it made it that much harder to hide what he was going through.

Kisa casually handed him a piece of chocolate when Ritsu took his seat. The brunet turned to look at him and Kisa revealed a small smile. "For you." The newcomer bowed in return and whispered thanks before shoving the chocolate into his mouth. He knew what the chocolate meant- it meant more than a sweet treat. It was Kisa's way of telling him how crappy he looked and he had handed Ritsu some chocolate in attempt to raise his sugar level and for all this Ritsu was thankful. Everyone in his team were aware of his situation, Mino-san, Kisa-san, Hatori-san, and of course, Takano-san, but they weren't going to pity him. They kept things professional and for that, once again, Ritsu was grateful.

The day went by without too many obstacles and people went home, one by one. Ritsu had hardly seen Takano all day because of his meetings and when Takano finally returned to his desk he saw the brunet, slumped over on his desk with his head down. He had called him last night, but for the last few days Onodera was always unavailable. He knew it wasn't the right time to be selfish, but Takano couldn't help but to want to near him at all times. It took so much of his will to not grab Onodera and hold him- to not kiss him and comfort him, and found that in this moment, the most he could do was to barely touch his hair and let him dream a little longer.

But their moment was soon interrupted by a phone call that broke their silence and Ritsu woke up startled.

"H-Hello?" Ritsu answered, not noticing the man behind him.

"Oh, thank you An-chan. I'll be there soon. Do you need me to bring you anything?"

Takano watched silently as Ritsu rubbed his temples. He still felt a sharp pain whenever her name came up but he chose to ignore it every time.

"Thank you…" Ritsu replied and it bothered Takano once again to realize that there was nothing he could do for him.

"My mother gave you a ring?"

There was a long silence and Ritsu just listened. Slightly confused but curious, Takano remained where he was and waited. He couldn't shake off an ominous feeling, but he ignored that too.

"I see… So she told you. I wanted to formally ask you, An-chan, I wanted to do it myself."

Takano's heart began beating loudly. He suddenly felt a sense of danger listening to Ritsu, a sense of threat, and now he was lacking the courage to stop Ritsu from continuing.

"It doesn't matter anymore- I was just confused," there was a pause. Ritsu was crying. "An-chan, I'm sorry to do this over the phone but I just might be too terribly shy-" He faked a laughter to cover for his tears. "An-chan, will you marry me?"

Takano dropped the manuscript in his hand and Ritsu turned around to the noise behind him. He saw Takano standing there, frozen in place, and Ritsu began to breathe heavily. Through the phone he heard An-chan reply with a 'yes' and simultaneously he saw Takano standing in front of him in excruciating pain. Ritsu covered his mouth as he began to sob but continued to listen as she promised to take care both his mother and him and confessed how much she loved him in his ear. Watching Ritsu not being able to do anything but cry, Takano took his fist against the wall. His knuckle began to bleed and it was then Ritsu quickly hung up and took the hand that Takano had injured. The brunet apologized over and over again but made no promise to undone what he had promised to another.

"It's all my fault- please, Takano-san, please," Ritsu began to beg and Takano didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry, please forgive me."

Takano grabbed his face and kissed him. The brunet resisted in tears, "Don't let me hurt you anymore, Takano-san-" but Masamune ignored him. He held the crying brunet in his arms and whispered into his ear.

"I'm not going to let you go."

Author's Note: A short prologue for the story- just so you can get a feel of things and how it's going to pan out. I guess I wanted to eliminate the bias of An-chan being the antagonist or even Ritsu's mother, and just demonstrate how some of these "factors" in Ritsu's life are what motivated him to be so drastic... He's desperate to make his mother happy and feels constantly indebted to An for her generosity, and so in a moment of weakness he decides that marriage would be most ideal (and completely selfless, in my opinion) and agrees to his mother's wish. So what I need to think about is how Takano would react and what he would do to never lose Ritsu again and it's going to be dark, it's going to be sad, and oh it's going to fun! I'm always open to suggestions and I'll most likely take turns updating this story and my other SIH story, 'Intoxication.' Thank you for reading!