This chapter may make some people uncomfortable. Nothing naughty per say happens, just the subject matter is a bit..squicky.

Onwards!

*ER*

The changes in the Elrics weren't exactly 180s in personality. More like the two were MORE themselves than ever before. This was Maes' first epiphany upon his rebirth. What he first thought to be bizarre parodies of the boys he knew in life turned out to be the opposite.

The children of Truth were in fact actually Edward and Alphonse...sans their inhibitions just one appeared tamer than the other. And it disturbed him greatly.

Alphonse remained the same caring person but had somewhat lost his timid nature. Still soft spoken and slow to anger, the younger brother was by no means a pushover and held a feral spark on his eyes that promised very bad things should one somehow manage to piss him off. But for all Maes knew that had always been Al's default setting... a suit of armor doesn't exactly convey facial expressions well. He certainly didn't know Al really was taller than Ed by about 3 inches either.

The initial shock about their behavior really came from Ed. He'd always been a bit of a loose cannon but now, well, Ed honestly scared him at first. The boy he knew was very pragmatic and moral- stubborn to a fault but didn't bark at the end of anyone's chain. Quick to point out injustice and rail against it with all his might. This version...

For one if he wanted something, he went after it. Hard. While this doesn't sound too different than his quest for the stone back then he dealt with obstacles using his moral compass- if doing or outright taking something seemed wrong he'd be frustrated but look for another way. Not so with Ed 2.0. If he wanted something, fuck whatever stood in his way.

Case in point, Roy. He began to suspect there might be the inklings of something more than commander and subordinate between his best friend and Fullmetal but the former Lt Colonel was not prepared for the depth of obsession that crush had evolved into. Ed always seemed to get off on fucking with Roy and causing him paperwork headaches with his escapades but since finding out who and what he really was, the teen had stepped up his game. It became increasingly about making Roy uncomfortable (exhibit A Juliet Douglas, formerly Sloth) and he liked the fact that now he could make the man do pretty much anything. Yet while he had the nation's most powerful man and notorious flirt at his mercy, Ed wanted Roy to come to him. If that meant turning Mustang into a mess of sexual frustration, all the more fun.

"I already know he'd been dying to touch me since I enlisted but fraternization and homosexuallality were rather frowned upon in the ranks." The blonde purred reclining with his legs draped over the arms of his chair. "He wanted me so bad he couldn't stand it Hughes. But of course discovering his own wicked kinks kept him at bay. Poor baby." And at that moment Ed giggled. Fucking giggled. This was officially creepy as shit. But it of course got worse as Ed saw fit to not elaborate on just what those kinks were. Instead letting him figure it out...and let his imagine wander in the process.

Roy always preferred the fairer sex. This wasn't new information. He'd known about Mustang's womanizing since the academy. What never occurred to him was the fact that with his hair loose...Ed kinda looked like a girl. By kinda Hughes meant his size and thus apparent age could cause one to overlook the flat chest; the angles of his face weren't very sharp for a boy his age; and when he smiled (not smirked) he looked rather innocent. This HAD occurred to Roy though. Alot. And it made him ashamed of himself.

Then there was the time he managed to catched Ed without his automail. After a big fight with smugglers within his first 6 months of enlistment Ed ended up in a coma; arm and leg reduced to scrap. The military hospital had removed the mangled limbs and gotten an earful from Miss Rockbell about "dicking around with her craftsmanship" and how they better not put any of their shoddy work on him. She'd be in Central within the week and to just keep him stable until she did. Rather surprising that full grown engineers and medical professionals happened to be genuinely terrified of a 13 year old girl from the middle of nowhere based on just an irate phone call.

Roy felt pretty guilty that this had happened and for a while there were whispers of some sort of disciplinary action against him. Nothing came of those rumors and they now knew it was because the Fuhrer had been ordered to keep Ed on as short a leash as possible. We see how well that worked out. But like any decent human being, he went to see him in the hospital.

Maes never understood why the man came running out of Fullmetal's room after just a hot second. He apologized to Al for cutting their conversation short and arrived at the car in time to watch the other man's breakfast decide it'd rather be all over the street than in his stomach. All his blathering about a stomach bug and unfinished paperwork on the way back didn't fly- Havoc had even voiced it as soon as the excuse left his lips. As much was confirmed when Riza shot at him later because she found him drunk on duty. After having 'accidentally' set those very documents on fire. His only excuse?

"I'm a sick individual."

Everyone chalked it up to a PTSD flashback. After all they all knew The Hero of Ishval fucking hated that title. The senseless slaughter of innocent men women and children shouldn't be honored. That Roy regularly drank himself into a stupor when those horrid memories surfaced a well kept secret of their division. Not until after being remade did he finally admit the real reason.

The sight of Ed lying in that bed, literally broken and helpless turned him on more than any miniskirt ever did. Before he knew it, his hands were running through those unbraided golden locks, enjoying the antiseptic-with-a-dash-of-melon scent of the shampoo used to wash the blood out of them. Fingers tracing along his check then reveling in the rough feel of the scar tissue that met with his empty automail port. Even through the thin fabric of the bedsheet, the contours of the leg port could be felt pressing against his thigh as he loomed over the child. Just the right amount of pressure and basic friction to get his blood pumping. Roy had contemplated opening the hospital gown further, pulling back the covers to see just how much of this gorgeous creature bore scars, almost doing so. The boy moaned softly in his sleep, causing the Lil Colonel to start saluting...Until his larger head regained control of his motor functions (thus blood flow) and a wave of nausea crashed over him. The Colonel managed to hold it together long enough to get out of sight before vomiting pretty much all over the side of the car.

Edward Elric, for all his badassery was still a prepubescent, damaged boy with no right arm or left leg. So..

"That makes the man who aspired to be Fuhrer not only homosexual but hebephilic, acrotomophilic, antirobinasticidic and possibly somnophilic- aren't big words for sexual attractions fun?" Ed told them both while standing in Fuhrer Mustang's office, again with that unsettling giggle. Roy turned bright red and hung his head in shame. "Only one of those labels are remotely okay Fuhrer Bastard. One of which is also illegal as fuck. Three are still really kinda messed up though one more so than the others- I mean I was dead to the world while you molested me."

"Shut up." the older man groaned. "I did no such thing."

"Really? Getting a boner from ogling then touching me while I was heavily drugged isn't molestation? Mmm...if I had known then I'm sure I would have knocked your teeth out. But now..."

"N-now?" Even though the paler of the two stammered, Hughes still had his glasses fog up. Had Juliet turned up the thermostat?

The small boy stood on his toes to grab Roy's tie and yank him down to his level.

"If you're a good boy, I'll let you act on those wicked desires- I can be any age you want Roy. How's that for incentive to actually do your job?" Ed stage whispered in his ear.

Maes wasn't sure which of them passed out first.

*EQ*

Yeah, that happened. Those big words are indeed REAL paraphilias.

Homosexual- I will not insult your intelligence; this is also the one Ed referes to as ok.

Hebephilia- sexual attraction to the 11-14 year old age group... also creepy and illegal as shit

Acrotomophilia- sexual attraction to amputees. In Roy's case this is also paired with a few others but this one is the most basic/

antirobinasticidia- sexual attraction to scars

Somnophilia- sexual attraction to sleeping/unconscious people; really messed up if the other person isn't on board with it.

Not sure how graphic I intend to make this new aspect of their relationship but I do guarantee anything more adult than this will be in a separate M rated side fic on ffnet but just a clearly marked chapter on AO3.

When Ed goes back home to have Winry fix him after Scar trashed his automail, it's made pretty clear this is not a new thing. Ed routinely require some sort of repairs and Winry is not a fan of having strange people tinkering with her work. So it's very plausible that Fullmetal got himself messed up badly enough to need full replacement at least once before said episode.

Love it? Hate it? Kinda weirded out? Let me know! Reviews are like hugs. Sirensoundwave out!