Notes: So here's a thing I wrote to freshen my head for another fic, because I was thinking about queer issues and I like Doc Ock.

Warnings: Use of the word "f*ggot". Hints at suicidal thoughts. Profanity.

"You know, usually you're all beat up after we meet, not before."

"Fuck you, Webhead. I'm too tired to deal with you tonight. Besides, it looks like I could say the same about you."

"Sure, sure. Like you've ever given me as good as you—wait, why do you say that?"

"There's blood soaking through your mask."

"Shit."

"Wrestling Venom earlier, were you? Or Rhino? I'm truly hurt: it used be that Spiderman dropped whatever or whoever he was doing to rush off and fight me. Now I'm what? Your eighth priority? Right under staff meetings at the goddamn Bugle, correct?"

"Did you just imply I'm fucking Venom? That's gross. Like, really gross."

"No, you and Deadpool have a thing right now, don't you?"

"Um… Doc, are you drunk?"

"I may have had a drink or four. Why are you bothering me? I'm not doing anything illegal besides existing. I even properly paid to get drunk. Now you're ruining it."

"You're on top of my apartment building. Makes a guy uneasy, you know."

"Really?"

"Yep. You didn't notice?"

"Damn."

"So what happened to you?"

"Why do you care? Why don't you, in fact, push me off the roof and be done with me? Oh yes, I forgot. You're too noble for that. I don't need your fucking pity, Spiderman."

"Nah, not pity. There's just no point. If I pushed you off, you'd catch yourself with an actuator."

"Not tonight."

"What do you mean?"

"I had a brief but terrifying with the Punisher earlier this week. He destroyed my main hideout, and with it the device I'd been designing for Justin Hammer to pay back a favor. I underestimated Hammer's ability to express his displeasure with failure."

"Yeah, the bastard's so annoying it's easy underestimate him."

"Exactly. This was the result."

"Holy shit, what did he do to your actuators? How can you even move?"

"Copious amounts of alcohol, mainly. I believe he said the process reminded him of pulling off a spider's limbs."

"Hammer's more of a bastard than I remember."

"So are you going to do it?"

"Do what?"

"Push me off the roof."

"You're starting to sound like you want me to."

"Not particularly. Not tonight, at least. But we're archenemies, isn't that right? We're supposed to try and kill each other."

"Fuck that. I'm so tired of it sometimes. Wearing the suit, trying to be a hero for everyone, not being good enough to save all of them. Even you guys… I wish I could've stopped that explosion, Doc, you know I do. I wish I could've helped you. And Harry… all of them. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to, that I could just have a day, all to myself, to be normal."

"You are so pathetically heroic it makes me sick. You're tired of playing the game because you can't get a perfect score. Well, Parker, I'm tired because the game's rigged against me."

"You could stop breaking the law and trying to take over New York."

"And do what? Buy a flat in Manhattan and teach at a university? I'm a monster, society wouldn't let me."

"You have a choice. Everyone has a choice."

"None of my choices include normalcy."

"I'm starting to think none of mine do, either."

"So who did you let beat you up?"

"What?"

"The mask isn't ripped. So you were hurt while it was off, which means someone beat up Peter Parker, and Spiderman let them."

"It's nothing."

"Oh come now. We're two rivals having a tender moment under the stars. Tell me about it."

"You're kinda funny when you're not trying to kill me, Doc."

"And you're fairly tolerable when you're not calling me Four-Eyes. Spill the juicy secrets."

"Wade and I went out, and a four drunks saw us saying goodbye to each other. After he left, they, uh…they called me a faggot and threw some liquor bottles and shit at me. I froze up, didn't dodge. Guess that's good ammo for you next time we fight, huh? Bet the Bugle would love to know Spiderman's queer. Just another way I can't be normal…"

"That's not an area you have to be normal in, Parker. Or that you should want to. Don't let anyone tell you different."

"Wow. Are you… queer, too?"

"Rosie was. I may be a bastard, but I wouldn't out you. You might consider outing yourself, though—Spiderman, I mean. Can you imagine how many conservatives would drop dead if Spiderman showed up at a Pride?"

"You've definitely had more than four drinks."

"Oh, think of all the poor queer children, getting to have Spiderman as a role model. You can't resist that, I know it. You're too sentimental."

"Why do you care?"

"It would be amusing to watch Jameson try and decide whether to follow his pro-LGBTQ slant or his anti-Spiderman one when reporting it, at the very least."

"Tell you what: I'll go if you do."

"We were talking good queer role models. Besides, it would ruin the parade. I can't go anywhere without starting a fight or a riot. Someone would assume I was there to steal the lead float. No, definitely not. Daylight's not the place for monsters."

"You don't have to be, you know."

"Oh yes, my choices. Let me see: go to prison, leave the country, possibly die when SHEILD inevitably tries to remove the actuators, or remain a supervillain."

"You could go legit."

"No, I couldn't. I've got too much blood on my hands and no secret identity to hide behind."

"So does Wade. Everyone knows he's Deadpool."

"Deadpool is not exactly legit."

"He tries. That's all you have to do."

"Is that a challenge?"

"…Yeah. And if you take it, the whole world's going to bet against you, Doc. That's how the hero thing works. Except for me. I'll bet on you."

"And why would you do that?"

"Cuz you're a good enough person to tell a little queer kid he doesn't have to be normal."

"Have I mentioned that you're disgustingly sentimental?"

"Are you going to do it or not?"

"You're trying to get me to agree to this while I'm still drunk, aren't you?"

"Definitely. Come on. I know a chick who can patch you up."

"Fine. I'm only doing it to see your face when you lose your bet, though."

"Sure, Doc. Sure."