Hero of Dimensions

AN: This is a idea I thought of but I am not the one who wrote it that courtesy is from Drake Wilson author of "To love Ruto" (which I am the beta reader for) I guess you could say we are co. authors (I come up with the ideas and he writes it) and since he wrote ithe deserves at least half the credit if not more for taking the time to write this while I think of ideas for him to write for it

and since it was my idea he said I should post it on my profile so that is the reason it was posted on mine and not his

Disclaimer: me and Drake Wilson don't own naruto or the hyperdimension neptunia franchises we did we would be multi-million airs

Chapter 1: Arrival, Imprisonment, Punishment

It is said that every action has a reaction. This is an undeniable fact. Just because we do not see the effects of our actions we often write them off as insignificant but sometimes the effects of a trivial decision can have such wide reaching effects that they can complete change an entire nation's destiny.

For example had Minato not read the Gutsy Ninja, Naruto would not have been called Naruto. Now this might seem a minor change but Naruto was a unique name and finding his name sake was a hero in a book gave Naruto a goal and vision beyond 'I want to be Hokage.' Had he been called Tom his destiny might have played out very differently indeed.

This is a story about one such change, a tiny insignificant little change that completely rewrote the destiny of Naruto and the fates of two worlds as a result. The change that wrought about all these changes? A single shot of poor quality whisky. How did it change everything? Well dear reader… Read on.

...

Life sucked, Naruto idly thought to himself as he walked down a mud path through a forest. Some people would just scowl at someone and say "I'm an Uchiha, teach me," and lo and behold the person asked would be falling over themselves to please you. Naruto was not that lucky. Here he was nearly three years into a training journey with one of the Sannin and the old perv had barely taught him anything! It just wasn't fair!

"Are we there yet?" Naruto asked for what must have been the hundredth time. He was determined to make Jiraiya as bad tempered as he was right now.

"Nearly," Jiraiya replied.

"Where are we heading again?"

"This quaint little village just on the border of Fire." Jiraiya grinned with a healthy blush. "They have a lovely hot springs and also a quite delightful red light area."

"So you are off perving again?" Naruto scoffed. "What a training journey this is!" He rolled his eyes.

"Hey! I taught you how to use up to three tails of the Kyuubi's chakra," Jiraiya defended himself. "And you nearly killed me learning that."

"Yeah, yeah," Naruto spat on the floor, "I was hoping to actually learn some techniques rather than rely on that stupid fox's power."

"Kid," Jiraiya stopped and put a hand on Naruto's shoulder. "That stupid fox is arguably the most powerful entity known to man. If you could control it…"

"I know," Naruto sighed. "I just want to be stronger myself you know? I hate the fact that I have to rely on the fox. It's as if I'd be useless without him."

"Hardly," Jiraiya offered Naruto a small smile, "It wasn't the fox that mastered the Rasengan. It wasn't the fox who brought Tsunade to Konoha."

"It wasn't the fox who was too weak to stop Sasuke leaving."

"Kid, the fox would have killed him, hell from what I was able to piece together you should have killed him if you hadn't pulled your last attack." Jiraiya shook his head, "I'm telling you there is no helping that Uchiha brat. If you'd only realise that then…"

"Then I might as well give up on being Hokage whilst I'm at it since that is an 'impossible goal' as well."

"Naruto…" Jiraiya groaned. "This and that are two different things." The old man smiled, "Tell you what, why don't you come out with me tonight? We'll have a few drinks to celebrate the end of the training journey."

"End?" Naruto blinked, "But… But I've hardly learnt anything!"

"Kid you've got a good skillset for Chuunin and…"

"Chuunin? I want to be Hokage and save Sasuke!"

"Keep your voice down brat," Jiraiya scowled. "Those goals take time you know?"

"Then why is Sasuke getting stronger than I am?" Naruto challenged. They had heard the tales of Orochimaru's star apprentice on their travels.

"Well maybe the kid is gifted?" Jiraiya shrugged.

"So that's it is it?" Naruto snapped hotly. "He's just better than me? Maybe if you'd actually teach me something I could improve. Hell you could have at least started me out on Fuinjutsu or something! Isn't that your main skill set and as a living testament to the strength of the art I feel I could benefit for some training in that area!"

"Bah," Jiraiya snorted. "You don't have the patience or the intelligence to learn that!"

"So I'm stupid and untalented?!"

"I didn't…" Jiraiya started to talk but was cut off by Naruto.

"Whatever. Let's just find the hotel so you can go off and get wasted and I can go to sleep. Maybe when I get back to Konoha I'll be able to find someone who will actually teach me something."

"Naruto!" Jiraiya sighed as Naruto stormed off in a foul mood. "Probably could have handled that better." He shook his head and followed his miserable apprentice.

The rest of the journey was carried out in silence. The quaint little village was actually a sprawling slums area that was pretty much all a red light district. They made their way to one of the few stone buildings amongst the sea of wooden shacks where a bony, old man gave Jiraiya two keys and lead them to a room on the top floor of the building.

"Here we go," Jiraiya opened the door and looked around. "A bit basic but it will do right?"

"Whatever," Naruto grunted as he walked passed Jiraiya. The room was pretty much bare except for the two beds at either sides of the room. Naruto tossed aside his travelling pack, threw his clothes into a pile and clambered into bed without another word.

"I'm going out," Jiraiya paused. "You sure you don't want to join me?"

Naruto rolled over and put his back to Jiraiya.

"Fine…" Jiraiya sighed. "Be like that then." He shut the door and made his way towards the bar, whistling a jaunty little tune. Naruto would cheer up in the morning and Jiraiya would once again try and teach him something. The problem with Naruto is he didn't seem to understand that Jiraiya was trying to correct all the errors in his fighting style. Only then could he begin to build on Naruto's skills. If Jiraiya had known had badly the schools had sabotaged the boy he would have asked for another three years to truly mould the boy into the sort of Ninja that Minato would have been proud to call his son. Although knowing Minato, just the fact the boy hadn't snapped under all the abuse he had received as a child would have made him proud. Jiraiya decided not to dwell on what may have been though. Partially as thinking about Minato always got him down but mainly because is a rough area like this Jiraiya would need all his wits about him to make it out with all his money.

Pleasure slums, as Jiraiya liked to refer to the villages like this, were not uncommon on the borders of Nations as it was a place where criminals and the generally disliked made a living. This one was called Chastity, a somewhat amusing name considering over 70% of the women and 40% of the men here were all in the business of sex, although for once Jiraiya didn't feel like indulging in the pleasures of the flesh and made his way to one of the many bars littering the slum area.

He saw a sign that was slanted and declared the bar to be the 'Happee Lovar'.

"Really?" Jiraiya snorted as a short man was thrown out of the bar with an axe embedded in his back. "Seems friendly enough." He chuckled as he made his way through the bar fight to the bar.

"Evening handsome," A toothless old crone smiled at him.

"Evening," Jiraiya suppressed the involuntary shudder. "What have you got to drink?"

"Name your poison."

"Sake," Jiraiya put several notes on the counter. "And information."

"I see." The crone paused. "What information would this be?"

"On any peculiar red clouds that you may have seen."

"Red clouds are always strange," The crone handed a small bowl of Sake to Jiraiya, "Stranger still are the people who have red eyes with blue friends."

"I see," Jiraiya finished his drink and beckoned for another, "And do you see many strange sights like that around here?"

"Only recently," The crone paused and looked around before leaning forward and whispering, "Word is that they are looking for someone in these parts."

"I see," Jiraiya smiled softly and ordered another drink. For the next two hours he traded money for liquor and more vague clues on the Akatsuki's operations in this area. Finally the alcohol and fatigue from travelling started to take effect on the old man and Jiraiya stood up to leave, leaving a small tip.

"Sure you won't have one last drink?" The crone smiled toothlessly holding up a small bottle of what looked like cheap whisky.

"I really shouldn't," Jiraiya shook his head. "I'm already a little tipsy and I have a long journey ahead of me tomorrow."

"After what you've put away I'm sure one little drink won't hurt you." The crone laughed.

Normally Jiraiya would have just politely declined and walked away. If he had destiny would have unfolded as it was meant to. Everything would have worked out fine… well maybe not for Neji but let's be honest you can't help some people.

But this time, Jiraiya said yes and because of it, Naruto's entire destiny changed.

Elsewhere

"Lace Ribbon Dance!"

The strange blue slime creature exploded into small crystals that faded away and its assailant wiped the sweat from her brow with a soft smile. She hovered in the air slightly, her long white hair billowing in the breeze caused by a simple swing of her sword. Her light blue eyes scanned the area for any more hostiles before she smiled slightly on seeing that the swarm of Dogoo, the strange dog-like slime creatures, had been dealt with quickly and efficiently.

"Kyaah!" The small group of girls watching her fight the monsters cheered, "Black Heart-sama is so cool!"

"As expected of Lastation's Goddess!" Another cheered. "Noire-sama is so cool!"

Noire or the Black Goddess of Lastation smiled as she felt the praise of the people she was sworn to defend. It was her duty as the Goddess of Lastation, as Black Heart, to defend her people and ensure their happiness. It was in this role that she found herself in the country side fighting Dogoo, the strange dog slime creatures that were relatively harmless, although in large numbers they could become pests, eating crops and generally causing a nuisance. Most Goddesses would have sent someone else to deal with them but Noire always felt that she should lead by example. Her people should see her defeating the evils of the land thus inspiring them. It didn't hurt that these displays of her power improved the publics opinion of her and with a better opinion came more share energy, the energy that gave her the powers of a Goddess.

She scowled slightly as she thought about the upcoming meeting. The four Goddesses; Purple Heart, White Heart, Green Heart and of course not forgetting herself Black Heart, were all set to meet in neutral territory to sign the Friendship Agreement in less than a month's time. A treaty that would say that the Goddesses couldn't use military force to steal the share energy of another Goddess, which suited Noire just fine. Her constant appearances ensured a constant supply of share energy and without any chance of losing it due to military actions, the future looked bright for Lastation.

"Onee-sama," A younger girl ran towards her, carrying a futuristic rifle on her shoulder. "I have successfully cleared the group that tried to escape."

"That is satisfactory," Noire replied distantly, focusing on the horizon. "We have finished here Uni."

"Is something wrong?" The now named Uni followed her elder sister's gaze.

"There is a strange energy in the air," Black Heart glowed slightly before landing to the floor, her white hair now black and held in two long twin tails by cute blue bows. The black skinsuit replaced by a blue dress and the piercing blue eyes replaced by warm red ones. "I feel like something big is coming." Noire finished.

"I see," Uni looked uneasy. "I… I will do my best to face it!"

"Hm?" Noire glanced at Uni, "I'm sure you will," She replied distantly before turning to leave. "Come. We have much work to do."

"Hai!" Uni raced after her sister. "They really seem to love you." Uni nodded her head in the direction of the cheering villagers.

"It is a Goddesses duty to be loved," Noire replied.

"I see…" Uni looked at the ground, 'I could never be as well-loved as Noire… After all she is so perfect and I'm… I can't even transform.' She sighed sadly.

"You shouldn't get so down in public," Noire chastised her softly. "If we appear weak our shares will drop."

"R-right." Uni's smile was so fake it was scary.

"Maybe it would be better if you stopped trying so hard." Noire sighed.

"S-sorry." Uni's shoulders slumped. 'I can't do anything right… Noire is probably so disappointed in me.'

Noire stared ahead. 'Uni… You have the potential to surpass me. I just wish you could see it.' She shook her head with a fond smile on her face.

"Er… Onee-sama," Uni cleared her throat, "Should you really be carrying out missions this close to the Goddesses meeting?"

"Why?"

"Well… I could handle them for you," Uni suggested. 'I will prove that I can be as good as you big sister!'

"No," Noire shook her head. 'If I'm going to be stuck in a room with Neptune I need to vent all my anger out now so that I don't snap at her during the Peace meeting. That would probably do a fair bit of damage to my shares.'

"Ah… I see…" Uni slumped slightly. 'Onee-sama doesn't trust me...' Her moping was interrupted by a ringing noise and she reached into her pocket to pull out a phone. "Oh Hi Nepgear. Yes I am with Onee-sama. I'll pass on the message. Thank you."

"What did Nepgear want?" Noire asked.

"Apparently Neptune is refusing to work." Uni shook her head. "How did someone so irresponsible become a Goddess?"

"Isn't that one of the mysteries of this world?" Noire snorted. "No doubt I will have to cover for her at the Peace talks."

"Oh?"

"W-well if people see her making mistakes they might think all of the Goddesses are idiots like her," Noire quickly remarked, "It's not that I enjoy looking after her or anything."

The two sisters made their way back to the Lastation's capital and back to their headquarters, where an unimpressed young girl was waiting for them. This girl looked vaguely like a young boy, with short silver hair and blue eyes. She was currently wearing an outfit that looked like a young boy's school uniform, further giving the impression she was in fact male, however the Goddess and her younger sister knew her to be Kei Jinguji, oracle of Lastation and advisor to the Goddess.

"Is it really wise to be going on such missions?" Kei remarked as they approached. "This close to the peace talks as well?"

"I am not going to let some Dogoos defeat me," Noire stated. "That would bring shame on the name of the Goddesses and on Lastation. Plus my shares would plummet!"

"I took down at least twenty," Uni stated. "Onee-sama was never in any danger."

"Yes, yes," Kei rubbed her forehead. "And now you both stink from your exertions. Please take a shower Noire-sama."

"Well I do smell a little fresh," Noire admitted. "And that slime seems to get everywhere… But I do have a lot of paper work to get on with. Lastation doesn't run itself."

"I can do that!" Uni volunteered. "Such a task should be easy for me!"

"Hmm…" Noire looked thoughtful, 'I don't think any of my cosplaying receipts should be in the paper work… I know Uni can handle it but what if I forgot to remove one of them? Could I explain myself to her?'

"Onee-sama?" Uni deflated by her sister's obvious reluctance to let her take the work. 'Am I not skilled enough for Onee-sama to trust?'

"I'll leave it to you," Noire decided finally.

"I won't let you down!" Uni sat behind a desk piled high with paperwork and started to go through it at an impressive pace.

"Hm," Noire smiled softly as she made her way to the bath. 'Should anything ever happen to me at least I know Lastation will be in good hands. Not that anything will ever happen to me. I am Black Heart!' She smirked proudly as she made her way into the bathroom.

Back to Naruto

"My head," Jiraiya groaned as he woke up. "I feel like it's been used as an impromptu battering ram…"

"That's what drink does to you," Naruto's voice was like a buzz saw to Jiraiya's head.

"Not so loud," Jiraiya whined.

"I've never seen you so bad Ero-sennin," Naruto sounded distracted. "You were really wasted last night."

"Yeah…" Jiraiya stumbled out of his bed to go to the small bathroom when his instincts screamed something was very wrong. He paused and took in the scene.

The room was exactly as he remembered it, devoid of any personality. Naruto was feverishly reading Minato's journal and taking notes and it looked like he hadn't slept in his bed all night. There was a strange pair of panties at the end of his bed and… wait a second, Jiraiya's eyes widened. "Naruto?!"

"Yes?"

"Did I bring a girl back here?"

"No," Naruto shook his head.

"Then why…"

"I don't want to talk about it." Naruto replied.

"You can't go saying that," Jiraiya turned to face Naruto. "Not when… Wait a minute! What are you doing with Minato's journal?!"

"You gave it to me last night."

"I would never…" Jiraiya went to point at Naruto but a sudden pain in his ribs caused him to groan. "What happened to my ribs?"

"That was me," Naruto admitted.

"What did I do?"

"More like what you didn't do." Naruto replied bluntly.

"And what was that?"

"Tell me about my parents."

"…Oh?"

"You were awfully sorry about that last night," Naruto continued.

"Oh yeah?" Jiraiya winced as he rubbed the sore area. "What the hell did you hit me with?"

"I think it was that chair over there," Naruto jerked his head to the corner of a room where a small pile of wooden shards signified the final resting place of the one of the two chairs this room had.

"So what exactly happened last night?"

"Well," Naruto finally turned away from the notes he was taking and Jiraiya could see the bags under his eyes. "You came in around one in the morning completely wasted whilst I was doing some push ups. You called me Minato and told me to go to bed."

"Oh… I remember that…" Jiraiya groaned weakly. "And then I said… It was an easy mistake to make as you looked so much like him right? Then something like it's to be expected with you being his son after all."

"Yeah," Naruto nodded. "So of course I asked who this Minato fellow was and you said…"

"I said 'Who is he? Only the greatest Hokage to ever have lived.'" Jiraiya put his head in his hands. "How drunk was I?! I'm supposed to be able to overcome toxins like that from my toad training!"

"So of course I was a little upset," Naruto continued.

"So you hit me with the chair?"

"No the chair comes later."

"There's more?!"

"There's hell of a lot more," Naruto coughed. "I then asked you about why I was called Uzumaki if my father was a Namikaze. Your response was 'Because it is your mother's name, she was called Kushina Uzumaki. You take after her.'"

"I don't remember that…"

"Well… There were some things said that I am not proud of," Naruto winced. "Punches were thrown on both sides. I ranted a lot and you apologised a lot but promised to make it up to me."

"And then?"

"Then…" Naruto looked embarrassed. "You took me out for a few drinks."

"Wait… I went out drinking again?" Jiraiya groaned. "No wonder I feel so bad!"

"Well… I was hitting the drinks pretty hard," Naruto confessed, "And apparently the Fuzzbut inside decided that my life wasn't in danger so there was no need to burn the poison from my system and well…"

"We both got wasted," Jiraiya snorted with laughter but immediately regretted it as his ribs cried out in pain. "Then what?"

"Then…" Naruto went bright red. "You… Kind of suggested a good way to make myself feel better."

"Ohoh!" Jiraiya laughed, "Then those panties…"

"Yeah," Naruto mumbled.

"Did you go all the way?" Jiraiya waggled his eyebrows.

"I… I didn't," Naruto admitted. "I mean there was some kissing and heavy touching involved…" He mumbled.

"And then what happened?" Jiraiya scowled, "I don't see where the chair gets involved."

"You barged into the room and asked if she was interested in a threesome," Naruto coughed weakly. "She said no but you said you were willing to pay extra."

"And?"

"Turns out she wasn't a prostitute." Naruto looked embarrassed.

"Wait… You pulled?!" Jiraiya raised an eyebrow.

"She seemed scared of you so I kind of hit you with that chair." Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "She escaped but kissed me on the cheek and left me the panties as a reward, saying next time I'm in town I should come alone and she'd show me a fun time."

"And then?"

"You were impressed that I had pulled and gave me dad's journal as an apology." Naruto gestured to the book he had been reading.

"And all these notes?" Jiraiya looked at them.

"I haven't slept." Naruto shook his head. "And the book… It makes so much sense you know."

"I do?" Jiraiya looked puzzled. "The book was all just ramen recipes and odd doodles by Kushina right?"

"Well that's what it showed a first but then I was so pissed that I never got to meet my family I punched the desk and caused my fists to bleed. The blood seemed to get absorbed by the book and…"

"A blood seal?" Jiraiya laughed then winced at the pain, "Yeah that sounds about right. I'll bet that Kushina hid the seals in her doodles. She was a sharp one at times. Unfortunately that keen intellect only ever surfaced when she was dealing with seals. Rest of the time she was just like you."

"That's… That's good to know." Naruto smiled distantly. "I mean I never really got to know them. Then I got to thinking… Maybe there was some sort of video seal or something that they could have used to save an important event like maybe my birth or their marriage."

"So you could see your parents that way," Jiraiya smiled as he went through Naruto's notes before freezing. "Naruto… Why are you writing notes on time travel?!"

"Well…" Naruto coughed awkwardly, "I couldn't find anything like that but I did find some of mom and dad's notes on time travel."

"What's this tree diagram all about?" Jiraiya frowned.

"Oh right, that was dad's theory on time travel. Say that time is a tree right? Each choice we make creates another branch where we went one way but an alternate me went a different way."

"Alternate Universe theory," Jiraiya nodded. "Yeah I know about that."

"Well humans cannot swim against time." Naruto pointed at the diagram. "But we can theoretically jump branches but even then we would only be able to go back to the instant after that branch left the original branch we are from so we could never influence our own timeline." The sleep deprived Naruto paused waiting for a nod of understanding from Jiraiya.

"I see…"

"But what if you left the tree you were on?"

"Pardon?" Jiraiya blinked.

"You cannot travel back too far as every branch on my tree starts with me being born, so I cannot travel back further than that, no matter what alternate branch I land on."

"That kind of make sense," Jiraiya frowned.

"But if I actually left my tree, jumped into another time line, I could re-join someone else's timeline at a point of time earlier than when I was born. It wouldn't be time travel it would be dimension hopping." Naruto gestured to his notes. "Dad and Mom designed the seal and everything and they believed it would work!"

"Okay…" Jiraiya cut off Naruto's rant. "Let's assume the seal works and it sends you to a different dimension. What then? How do you get back and how do you even specify a target?"

"I…" Naruto frowned. "I haven't finished reading the notes yet but it seems it all depends on the amount of Chakra put into the seal."

"And what does that control? How far away you go or the time in that dimension?"

"There are two arrays so one must control time and the other space." Naruto yawned.

"Uhuh," Jiraiya shook his head. "Look kid I wish I could go back in time as well but an untested seal is just asking for trouble. Plus if it could work don't you think Minato would have used it to save his own family? Or maybe he is smart enough to know that changing one tiny thing could have disastrous effects."

"He said to use it in an emergency…" Naruto mumbled as he started to drift off to sleep. "But I know it will work."

"Kid what you know about seals I could probably write on a very small postcard. Get some sleep kid, I'll go get something to eat and wake you up later."

"Okay…" Naruto mumbled as he climbed into his bed and tried to sleep. No matter how he tossed and turned though sleep was not coming. The thought that he could actually meet his family was so exciting for him, like a little child before Christmas, if the child was turning sixteen, suffering from sleep deprivation and also still drunk. "I could do it…" Naruto climbed out bed. "I could do it and no one would ever know! I would there and return before Jiraiya comes back… If I don't change anything he'll never know!"

Satisfied with his logic, Naruto set to work copying out the seals from Minato's journal and followed their instructions to the letter. Of course being sleep depraved and drunk had affected Naruto's abilities and without realising it, he smudged a small part of the seal after he had finished the drawing. This smudge should have caused the seal to malfunction as it did when Naruto tried to power the seal. Unfortunately it is a documented fact that mixing Bijuu chakra with Uzumaki seals always has weird and wonderful effects so when Naruto called upon the Kyuubi's chakra to try and power the seal. It detonated with the force of a Bijuudama almost completely removing Chastity from the map and succeeding in completely removing Naruto from reality… Well at least this reality.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Naruto cried out as he suddenly found himself falling down an endless tunnel. All around him was a swirling blue light with the occasional crackle of lightning and small windows that passed him by, showing glimpses of different people and places. He reached out and managed to grab a hold of one, peering into it as he fell.

In it was what looked like an older version of him.

"I finally did it!" The older Naruto grinned. "I caught my first poke-girl! A nine tails as well!"

A beautiful, voluptuous but above all naked woman with nine fiery red tails was stood before him. Red slitted eyes staring at the other Naruto hungrily and two red fox ears twitching. She licked her lips and walked towards him, swaying her hips seductively.

"I guess that means it's time to tame you," the other Naruto started to undo his belt.

"W-what?!" Naruto let go of the strange window that flew away. "What the hell was that?"

He hurtled through the corridor and grabbed another mirror. This one showed another version of him.

"God damn it Lala!" the Mirror-Naruto groaned.

"Muuu…" A beautiful and big busted girl pouted cutely. She had pink hair and kind of reminded him a little of Sakura-chan except this girl was more beautiful and actually had breasts. Oh and the fact she was naked as well. "I thought you'd like my surprise."

"Trust me… I would love to have sex with you," He smiled, "But I do have to fight an evil God right now okay?"

"Fine," Lala hugged him. "I guess I can wait," She purred, pressing her impressive assets into his chest.

"Then again…" Mirror-Naruto cleared his throat, "I guess I can spare a couple of hours…"

"The hell is this?" Naruto cried out in alarm as he released the mirror again. "Is this… The space between dimensions or something?!" He turned to see another mirror headed straight towards him. Unlike the others the only thing Naruto could see was a pair of breasts that were wet and soapy and to Naruto's fear (and excitement) he was hurtling towards them with no way to avoid them. He braced himself as he collided with the mirror but instead of a sudden impact, he felt hot water splash against him and a strange soft feeling in his left hand and on his lips. He kept his eyes shut, savouring the strange feeling and sensation. He could hear the sound of water running and suddenly the sound of a door opening.

"I've finished the paperwork Onee-sama and… ONEE-SAMA?!"

Naruto felt a stinging pain to the bottom of his jaw and was enveloped in the welcome blackness of sleep.

A few minutes earlier

"Ah," Noire sighed happily as the warm water cascaded down her body. There was nothing quite like a hot shower to help a girl relax after a stressful day of killing slime monsters. She lathered the soap on her body, admiring her own beauty. Unlike Neptune and Blanc who were lacking in the mammary department or Vert who was far too encumbered by her assets, Noire felt her breasts were just right. They were there but didn't get in the way.

She started to wash her long black hair, marvelling at the silky feeling. She took good care of her appearance, after all a Goddess had to look her best at all time and even amongst the Goddesses Noire felt she had to always be the best and so did Uni. It was why she pushed her little sister so hard and Noire knew that Uni would not only meet her standards but would completely surpass them if only she started to realise that she had power and to stop judging herself by the pedestal that she had put Noire on.

"Huh?" Noire paused as a strange crackling noise filled the bathroom. "Who is there?" She narrowed her eyes and transformed, ready to completely destroy anyone who would try and peek on her here. "Show yourself and I may be convinced to show you mercy!"

She was answered by a strange distortion in the air in front of her, like a mirror shattering and a strange blonde boy with his eyes clenched shut appeared from nowhere and knocked her to the floor. She found herself frozen in shock as the boy reached out a hand to stop his fall and grabbed her breast as they fell before his lips met hers, causing a strange electrical sensation to spread through her body. She felt a strange burning in her body and found herself absent-mindedly thinking how nice his lips felt and how good it felt having someone other than herself touching her breasts.

She was snapped out of her daze by the door opening.

"I've finished the paperwork Onee-sama and… ONEE-SAMA?!" Uni froze in shock and horror.

Noire instinctively lashed out, punching Naruto in the jaw and launching him off of her and into the wall, getting himself embedded into it, where he stayed blissfully unconscious and unaware of the infuriated Goddess behind him.

"T-that…" Noire gulped. "That beast assaulted me!" She glared at the still form of the boy. "I want him punished to the highest possible degree!"

"H-hai," Uni gulped at Noire's fury. "I'll take him to a cell."

"Do that." Noire fumed as she left the bathroom, clad in a towel. She paused briefly and touched her lips. 'He… He took my first kiss…' She blushed bright red. "N -not that I enjoyed it!" She declared to no-one in particular as she continued to her room.

Uni lifted the taller blonde up, groaning slightly under his weight. "He is kind of heavy and what weird clothes he is wearing. He doesn't look like he was sent by any of the other Goddesses." Uni frowned as she stared at his face. "What strange markings…" She stroked his cheek and was rewarded with a strange purr.

"He's just like a cat," Uni smiled softly. "Ah! What am I doing? He is an enemy of Lastation!" She dragged Naruto towards the prison cells. 'But he sure is a cute one though. N-not that I care about that sort of thing.'

Some time later

"My jaw…" Naruto groaned as he regained consciousness. "Hey… where the hell am I?!" He glanced around and found he was in a bare stone cell and that his hands were tied behind his back. "I cannot be caged, this is unlawful imprisonment! I am a Konoha Shinobi! Registration No: 012607. Under the terms of the Ninja Wars Peace Agreement I am required to be fed; I demand Ramen!"

"So you have finally woken up!" Noire approached the cell.

"Do I know you?" Naruto crossed his arms. "And where is my Ramen?"

"You will not receive any ramen." Noire smirked.

"You said it wrong," Naruto sighed.

"Eh?"

"It's Ramen with a capital R. The food of the gods deserves a capitalised first letter damn it!"

"How do you know that I didn't capitalise it?"

"When it's about ramen I know." Naruto stated bluntly.

"Er… Onee-sama," Uni cleared her throat.

"Oh right," Noire cleared her throat, "Who sent you here?"

"I guess I must have sent myself here?" Naruto suggested.

"You came by yourself to assassinate me?!"

"What? No!" Naruto shook his head furiously, "I didn't intend to assassinate you!"

"Oh? Then you wanted to assault me? To use my nubile young body as your plaything?!"

"No! Why would I want to do that?!"

"I am a Goddess that's why!"

"Man you have a high opinion of yourself." Naruto cleared out the inside of his ear.

"W-what?" Noire fumed.

"Besides why would I want to assault you when I am going to marry Sakura-chan!" Naruto smirked as if he had just won the debate right there and then.

"Maybe this Sakura-chan doesn't like you and you decided to lust after me!" Noire barked.

"Oh yeah?" Naruto laughed. "Why would I lust after you?!" Naruto rolled around on the floor.

"You… You… Beast!" Noire turned to Uni. "Let me know when Kei arrives. I want this uncouth criminal punished more severely than any criminal was ever punished!"

"Okay…" Uni watched her sister storm off. "You shouldn't make her so angry."

"Well she shouldn't deny me my Ramen privileges." Naruto replied petulantly. "It is in the Shinobi Peace Time agreement."

"The what?"

"The shinobi peace time agreement." Naruto repeated. "What haven't you ever heard of it?"

"No…" Uni shook her head.

"Man we must be far from Konoha then," Naruto blinked. "Where exactly am I?"

"You are in Lastation."

"Never heard of it," Naruto blinked.

"Never… How can you not have heard of it? This world is only made up of four countries!"

"It is?"

"Yes! Planetpune, Lowee, Lastation and Leanbox." Uni tilted her head. "Where you raised underground or something?"

"I was raised in Konoha, strongest of the ninja villages!" Naruto declared.

"Ninja villages?" Uni frowned, "I've never heard of them."

"Never heard of Konoha?!" Naruto looked horrified. "What sort of backwards place is this?"

"B-backwards?!" Uni blinked. "You're the backwards one here!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!" Uni humphed and crossed her arms. "It doesn't matter anyway. You are going to be punished!"

"What for?"

"For fondling my sister!" Uni's cheeks flushed slightly.

"Fondling… Wait a second." Naruto's eyes widened. "I remember now! I used that seal to travel back in time! If I use it again I might be able to go home!" He froze in horror, "I… I can't remember the seal!" He started rolling around on the floor. "I'm stuck in a hostile foreign land!"

"It's not all that bad," Uni felt compelled to try and cheer him up for some reason.

"R-really?"

"I mean, this is quite a nice place to live," Uni continued. "And I'm sure that Onee-sama will calm down and realise this was a huge misunderstanding."

"You think so?" Naruto brightened. "Thanks." He beamed at her. "You know you're a lot nicer than that other chick. You're really kind of cute as well."

"Being complimented by you doesn't make me happy at all," Uni turned away.

"Er… Sorry about that." Naruto smirked as he managed to cut the bindings off of his arm and started to massage them to get the blood flowing right. "And I'm sorry about this."

"About what?" Uni turned to see Naruto free of his bindings and holding a kunai which he threw out of the cell. "Hah! You missed."

"Actually…" A voice behind chuckled. "He wasn't aiming for you." There was a sudden pain in her neck and she passed out. "Steady as she goes," Naruto's kage Bunshin lowered her softly to the floor. "I don't see any keys boss."

"Damn it," Naruto leaned on the cell door. "Can you pick it?"

"I can try," The kage Bunshin stared at the lock. "I think I've got it." The clone kicked the lock repeatedly until it broke off the cell. "Job done!" He grinned.

"Yatta!" Naruto cheered as he opened his cell. "Now you get in the cell and I'll escape."

"Okay," The Kage Bunshin sat in the cell and shut the door. "But what about the lock?"

"Meh," Naruto shrugged. "Just keep them distracted so I can escape."

"Right boss," The clone sighed.

"Right then," Noire's voice sounded from around the corner and the goddess showed herself, followed by what looked like a young boy to Naruto's eyes. "Uni… Why are you sleeping?" She shook her younger sister.

"Eh?" Uni blinked. "Oh! I'm so sorry I don't know what happened."

"Sleeping on the job?" Noire frowned. "I expected better of you."

"I'm sorry." Uni bowed her head, tears in her eyes.

"Hey leave her alone!" The Kage Bunshin called out, "It isn't her fault that she got outsmarted by a ninja. I mean do you know how awesome we are?"

"Ninja-san?" Uni blinked. 'Why… Why is he defending me?'

"What do you mean?" Noire scoffed. "If she was outsmarted by you; why are you still locked up?"

"See you act all high and mighty," The Kage Bunshin smirked, "But the fact is you too have fallen for the same trick! The Kage Bunshin special!"

"The Kage Bunshin?" Noire frowned.

"Shadow Clone?" Kei pursed her lips. "What do you mean?"

"It's a pretty cool technique," The clone smirked. "For example do you know you are in fact talking to one now? The real me is probably half way home by now."

"Okay so I turn left and…" The original Naruto froze as he walked back to his own cell. "Ah damn it."

"How?!" Noire glanced between the clone and the original.

"Damn it. This place is a maze!" Naruto groaned.

"That is a very impressive ability." Kei tapped her chin. "Is there a limit to the number of these clones you can make?"

"Heh," Naruto rubbed his nose, blushing slightly at the praise. "Well if you want to see it… Tajuu Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" Naruto formed the familiar hand seal and flooded the corridor with clones.

"W-what?!" Noire gasped. "There are so many!"

"Hehe," The original laughed. "With this my escape is all but ensured!"

There was a series of gun shots and a small number of the clones burst into smoke.

"What the hell?" Naruto blinked. "What kind of weapon is that?"

"I failed in my duty," Uni took aim again. "I will not do so again!" 'I'll never catch up to Onee-sama if I don't recapture the prisoner!'

"Scatter!" Naruto yelled as his clones fled down the corridor.

"Aren't you going to go anywhere?" Noire turned to the caged clone.

"Nah," He laid back. "I'm fine here thank you. GARGH!" The clone gasped in surprise as a sword embedded itself in his chest causing him to pop.

"Interesting," Kei sheathed her sword. "It appears that the clones are solid but can only take a single hit. With the rate he can produce them he could be a valuable asset for Lastation."

"He is a pervert!" Noire protested. "He… He groped me!"

"You say that his eyes were closed and that he made no movement when you met?" Kei asked.

"Well he was probably savouring t-touching me."

"Or maybe he was unconscious when he arrived?" Uni suggested. "He mentioned that he used a seal or something to travel here. Maybe powering that used all of his energy. He kept mentioning strange places like Konoha and Shinobi villages." 'Besides he did try and protect me from Onee-sama's disappointment. Maybe Ninja-san isn't such a bad person.'

"Shinobi?" Kei smiled softly. "He would be very valuable. If possible we should aim to take him alive."

"How?" Noire scowled. "His clones are completely identical to the real thing!"

"Easy," Kei responded. "The real one will bleed."

"…Okay…" Noire shivered slightly. "I'm counting on you Uni."

"R-right! I won't let you down." Uni bowed her head.

Elsewhere

"This place is a fricking maze," Naruto scowled as he wandered into a large area that seemed to house nothing but a small crystal that glimmered brightly. "Huh… that sure looks important." Naruto wandered up to the crystal. "Maybe I can use it to bargain with!" He reached out to pick it up but as soon as he touched it a strange energy arched through him causing him to spasm in pain.

"D-damn it!" Naruto groaned as he was assaulted by strange voices he had never heard before.

'Noire-sama is the best!'

'With the Black Heart protecting us we will never have to fear anything!'

'Black Heart-sama looks so sexy~'

'Uni-chan is cute too!'

"What the hell?!" Naruto cried out as the crystal launched him across the room, causing him to smash into the wall and slowly slump to the floor, his vision blurry.

"That is called the Shareacite. It contains the energy that the faith of the people of Lastation have for their Goddess and their CPU Candidates. You felt it didn't you? There unwavering love for Noire-sama and Uni-sama." A calm voice informed him and the strange boy who he had seen in the cell walked towards him. "Judging by the fact you didn't disappear when you struck the wall I'm guessing you are the real one."

"Who…" Naruto staggered to his feet, "Who are you?"

"My name is Kei Jinguji. I am the Oracle of Lastation. Think of me as the advisor to the Goddess if it makes things easier for you." Kei introduced herself. "And you are very lost. From what Uni-sama tells me, you are from another world."

"Sure looks that way," Naruto groaned as he tried to stand.

"I would be careful if I were you," Kei warned. "You've been exposed to a large amount of share energy. You may need medical assistance."

"Why should you care?"

"You have an interesting skill set that I feel would be beneficial to Lastation." Kei replied honestly.

"Well I'm sorry but I have no intention of working for anyone. I just want to get back home".

"I see…" Kei looked vaguely disappointed. "That is a shame. Then I suppose you'll have to pay for actions."

"What?"

"You did molest a Goddess," Kei pointed out. "With good behaviour I think you could get out of jail in say… 120,000,000 years… at the earliest."

"Urgh…" Naruto flinched. "All the more reason not to get caught!" He tried to run past Kei but collapsed on the floor. "Damn it…" He mumbled as his vision started to fade.

Later on

"Isn't this a little bit extreme," Naruto blinked. He was currently strapped to a table in his cell with so many bindings he looked like some sort of belt mummy.

"Until we know the limits of your abilities we figured it was best not to take any chances." Kei remarked.

"S-so!" Noire cleared her throat. "You are charged with molesting a goddess! How do you plead?"

"Not guilty."

"Denied!" Noire crossed her arms.

"W-what?" Naruto blinked. "What kind of a trial is this?"

"This isn't a trail," Kei informed him. "We are just deciding your punishment."

"So I'm guilty no matter what?" Naruto sighed.

"Pretty much," Uni smiled. "Onee-sama is the goddess after all."

"Who fixed me up?" Naruto asked.

"It was me." Noire declared.

"Why did you save me?"

"It's not like I wanted to," Noire looked away, "But we need you alive to try you and give you the death penalty." 'I definitely don't like the jerk who took my first kiss and saw me n-n-naked!' "The death penalty would be too good for you!" She blushed and yelled at the bound Naruto.

"…You saved me to kill me yourself?"

"I believe a different punishment would be more fitting," Kei opened a large book and placed it on a small table next to his.

"Let me see…" Noire looked at the book. "Is that even possible?"

"Indeed," Kei nodded.

"Very well." Noire smiled evilly.

"What is your name?" Kei turned to the restrained Shinobi.

"…Not telling." Naruto remarked. "It'll take more than two girls and a little boy to break me!"

"Boy?" Kei blinked. "There are three girls in here. You are the only boy in here."

"You're a girl?" Naruto blinked.

"I think we should escalate his punishment," Kei remarked dryly.

"Ah! I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend you!" Naruto apology sounded genuine. "I wish I could make it up to you but I am kind of about to be executed you know?"

"You wish to make amends? We have a deal then, Ninja-san." Kei placed a black collar around Naruto's neck, "This is a limiting collar. So long as you are wearing it Noire-sama can activate a surge of electricity that will cause you mild pain. It will also allow us to track you no matter where you are."

"You're putting a collar on me?" Naruto blinked.

"Your sentence is 25 Years. However I have decided to allow you the privilege of repaying your 'Debt to Society'." Noire smiled, "Be grateful I am a merciful Goddess."

"Eh?" Naruto blinked.

"Basically," Kei explained, "You will work off your prison sentence by doing odd jobs for us. Each job will carry a payment that will be translated into years and then deducted from your sentence. Once your sentence reaches 0, you have repaid your debt to society and your collar will be removed. Whilst you are working for us I will devote some of my efforts into finding you a way back home. Is that satisfactory?"

"That… That doesn't seem too bad." Naruto admitted. "I get to spend my time with a cute girl… Oh and you two," He gestured vaguely at Noire and Kei.

"Ten years extension!" Noire roared.

"Additional Sentence: +10 Years! 35 Years till freedom!" A chirpy voice declared from Naruto's collar.

"You… You can't do that!" Naruto protested weakly.

"She can as can I and Uni-sama," Kei informed Naruto. "We can also do this." She clicked her finger.

"Gargh!" Naruto felt as if someone had plugged him up to a power generator in Konoha. "You said mild pain!" Naruto cried out. "That was torture!"

"I may have underestimated the power," Kei remarked dryly. "Only Noire-sama and I have the power to reduce your sentence so seducing Uni-sama will not influence your situation positively."

"I'm not trying to seduce anyone!" Naruto protested as Kei removed his bindings. "So what kind of missions do I have to do?"

"I'm glad you asked." Kei smiled.

Some Time Later

"I regret everything," Naruto grumbled as he walked down a country road. It was bad enough that he had to wear the shock collar with a annoyingly cheerful voice, never mind that the person who was in charge of it was apparently a sadist. Every little thing he did seemed to result in him getting a shock. "Why are you here anyway? Couldn't you send Uni by herself or with Kei to teach me these things? It seems a tad overkill to send a Goddess to train me."

"I'm not hear because I want to be and I have no intention of you being left alone with Uni!"

"You act as if I am some sort of criminal who can't be trusted." Naruto mumbled.

"Technically you are," Uni pointed out.

"Well…" Naruto faltered.

"You should be grateful that I decided to oversee your tutorial!" Noire remarked haughtily.

"Tutorial? Don't you mean training or something?" Naruto grumbled. "

"As a Goddess," Noire ignored Naruto's question, "I have to defeat monsters in order to protect my people. This in turn earns me more of their respect and love, which generates more Share energy for me. However as powerful as I am, I can only be in one place at a time. That's where bounty hunters and the like come in. They fulfil requests in my name and get reimbursed for the time and effort. Of course you won't as you are a prisoner but you will get a reduced sentence."

"Lucky me," Naruto sighed. "So… What's the job?"

"The villagers in this area have reported a large amount of Dogoo passing through."

"The hell is a Dogoo?"

"It is a small slime like creature. Pretty much tutorial fodder."

"Okay?"

"Now then," Noire crossed her arms. "Our job is to defeat all the slimes."

"Seems simple enough." Naruto grinned as they left a forest. "Er… Then again…"

"Oh my…" Uni blinked.

"That… That is a lot of Dogoo…" Noire faltered slightly.

What was supposed to be a large open expanse of fields was a slowly moving sea of blue. Naruto could make out the small dog ears of the creatures as they ambled across the plains.

"Mission Parameters: Eliminate Dogoo threat to local produce!" Naruto's collar cheerfully chirped. "Reward: Sentence Reduction One Year!"

"A whole year?" Naruto grinned. "And all I have to do is eliminate the threat to local food? Doesn't that mean if I get all of them to leave that I will succeed?"

"That is correct." Kei's voice sounded over the collar.

"Argh?!" Naruto span around. "Where are you?"

"Your collar also acts a communication device allowing anyone to reach you who has a phone and the correct access code for your collar." Kei informed him.

"For a shock collar, this thing is sure multifunctional," Naruto remarked. "So… I have a cunning plan!" He calmly strolled towards the mass of slimes.

"Onee-sama," Uni bit her lip nervously, "Shouldn't we help him?"

"He seems confident he can handle it." Noire remarked. 'If not I'll help him out and then he will acknowledge that I am truly a Goddess. Not that I need that jerk's approval or anything.'

"If you say so," Uni looked concerned. 'I feel bad for just watching Ninja-san but that is what Onee-sama wants…'

"HEY!" Naruto waved at the sea of blue, causing them to stop and look at him. "Right then. I'm going to have to ask you to leave okay? Otherwise I'll have to kill you all apparently. Look I know it seems harsh but that's what the boss wants and if I don't do what she wants she'll punish me." He bent down to one of the Dogoo nearest him. "You're kind of cute actually. I'm going to name you Kichi Mark II." He patted the dog slime. "Kichi Mark II?" He blinked as the slime retreated to another slime then absorbed it. This process went on until there was only one slime, although it was a titan of a slime at that. "Er… That is… Urgh… Good boy?"

"Onee-sama!" Uni gasped.

"That idiot!" Noire sighed. "I don't know why Kei wanted him to live. He is clearly useless and he… he took my…" Noire blushed crimson. 'Gah! Why do I feel so light headed whenever I think about that kiss?!'

"I have to help him!" Uni declared. 'He did stand up for me and I don't think he is the bad person Onee-sama seems to think he is.'

"It's eating me?!" Naruto cried out in alarm as the slime batted him into the air and swallowed him. He could see Noire and Uni racing towards him. 'Damn it. I can't look so uncool in front of the girls. They'll never give me any good jobs and allow me to pay off my bill in a decent time if I look bad in front of them!' HE summoned another clone in the slime's stomach and the two started to form a Rasengan that started to draw in the slime creature. 'It's working!' Naruto thought smugly. The rasengan grew as it took more and more of the sludge in, sucking it up like a vacuum cleaner until only Naruto and the giant slimy blue rasengan remained.

"That… That was actually impressive," Noire admitted. 'Maybe… Maybe this guy isn't a complete waste of space.'

"He's quite strong." Uni agreed. 'I wonder if I can get him to teach me to do that. Then maybe I could stand beside Onee-sama instead of behind her…'

"Impressed huh?" Naruto smirked and released the rasengan, not taking into account that his chakra was the only thing stopping the spiralling sludge from behind thrown everywhere and as soon as he stopped the jutsu it was like jelly in a blender with the top taken off. The slime went everywhere. "Er… Oops." Naruto laughed weakly.

"You… You…" Noire growled as she wiped the slime from her face. "You idiot!"

"Sorry!" Naruto ran towards them, "Here let me clean you Gargh!" He gargled as Noire activated the collar.

"So that's your plan is it? Get us all dirty then wipe us down? G-groping us as you clean us?" Noire accused.

"Mission Cleared! Yahoo!" The collar cheered. "Sentence Reduction: 1 Year. 34 Years till freedom!"

"Ten years extension!" Noire ordered. "For your evil perverted plan!"

"But… But…" Naruto's shoulders slumped.

"Naughty boy!" The collar chastised him. "Sentence Extension: 10 Years! 44 Years until freedom!"

"Life sucks…" Naruto sighed.

"If it counts for anything, you were kind of cool back then." Uni mumbled with a blush on her face.

"Pardon?"

"It's nothing!" Uni stormed off.

"Did… Did I do something wrong?!" Naruto glanced at the sky. "Give me a clue somebody!"

"Hmmm…" Kei's voice sounded thoughtful. "Since you are in the area there is another elimination mission that requires someone strong. I believe you may have a chance of succeeding."

"What's the sentence reduction?"

"Your Debt to Society will be reduced by ten years."

"Ten years?" Naruto cheered up. "Which way?"

"The tracking system in your collar suggests that you are approximately fifteen minutes from the large mountains to the north. If you head there you will find a cave with a creature in it. This creature is an elder dragon. I believe you should at the very least be able to repel the creature."

"Awesome," Naruto smirked. "But aren't you worried that I will try and escape?"

"So long as you are in this dimension the collar will continue to work," Kei remarked, "And that means…"

"ARGH!" Naruto fell to the floor twitching.

"I can activate the shock function regardless of where you are." Kei finished. "So long as you honour our agreement and work hard I will have no need to motivate you."

"I DIDN'T NEED MOTIVATING THEN!" Naruto yelled at the collar.

"I felt a demonstration was called for, to dissuade you from any further thoughts of breaking our deal."

"When I give my word I keep it." Naruto stated. "I never go back on my word. That's my Nindo, my ninja way."

"Huh," Kei sounded mildly impressed. "It appears I misjudged you."

"Eh?"

"It's nothing." Kei went silent.

"So… this way?" Naruto asked.

"Loading… Loading… New Mission Loaded! Yay!" The collar chirped.

"I get a feeling I am going to hate you before long," Naruto sighed.

"New Mission Objective: Repel the Elder Dragon From Lastation Territory!" The collar continued, "Warning this creature is an S-Ranked Monster! Make sure to stock up on Health potions and are a high enough level for this quest! Follow the quest indicator to find the target!" A strange glowing sphere appeared in front of him and started to travel away, before pausing as if waiting for him to follow it.

"…What?" Naruto blinked.

"Press Triangle to open the fast travel menu!"

"Shut up," Naruto growled as he started running after the orb.

If there was one thing that amused Naruto, it was the fact that Lastation was a green and vibrant land yet the main city was a cluster of futuristic looking buildings and smoky factories. Of the two Naruto much preferred the countryside although that was possibly as the only time he had been out of his cell in the city was when he was frogmarched out by Noire and Uni. That and the tree and forestry reminded him of the home he had left behind.

The forests soon started to thin out and Naruto noticed the temperature dropping. He approached a small range of mountains.

"My screens show you are getting close to the border of Lowee and Lastation." Kei's voice sounded over his collar. "Lowee is much colder than Lastation and as such the border is a little cold. Don't worry though. When the elder dragon tries to incinerate you with its breath you'll be perfectly warm."

"…That's not reassuring."

"Hmm… Did I say it wrong? That was supposed to be a joke to raise your morale."

"Your tone didn't change. If you are going to tell a joke at least let the tone of your voice change to give me a hint."

"Oh… I see." Kei paused. "I will take that into consideration."

"So you get dragons here often?"

"No. This one was located deep in a mountain range in Lowee and attacked some merchant conveys. The Goddess of Lowee engaged the creature but was unable to land a decisive blow before the creature fled over the boundary. There is a small chance that the Goddess may have pursued the creature into Lastation territory. If so you are not to engage and return to Lastation."

"Right you are," Naruto grumbled, "I'm not that keen to get between a Goddess and a dragon."

"Huh. You do possess some intelligence then. I was wondering given your repeated attempts to rile up Noire-sama."

"Well she started it." Naruto remarked. "Calling me a pervert and locking me up in a cell!"

"Try to understand," Kei stated calmly, "You did take her first kiss. That is important for a girl."

"I guess I could try and apologise," Naruto admitted. "I mean it isn't as if I meant to do it…"

Before Kei could reply a deafening roar sounded throughout the air.

"Target Creature nearby!" The collar chirped.

"You reckon?" Naruto grumbled as he ran towards the mountains where the sound had come from. There he found a cave that looked as if it had been made by burning through the stone with a focused intense heat. "Well…" Naruto felt the heat radiating from the walls. "I'm guessing I found its lair. Hey… Maybe it has a hoard of treasure."

"Unlikely. The Dragon has only been here for a week. It is highly unlikely it would have gathered substantial treasure reserves in that time."

"Well…" Naruto grinned. "Let's go kick some dragon ass!"

Several Moments Earlier

"Tch," The goddess of Lowee, Blanc or as she was also known White Heart scowled as she dodged the desperate lunge of the wounded dragon. She had chased it from her territory but she couldn't face Noire at the meeting in a month's time if Noire had to clean up after Blanc failed to deal with the dragon. "Why don't you just piss off and die!" A powerful swing of her axe struck the creature in the side of its head, causing the creature to slam into the wall and knock rubble free. "You think I'm going to fucking lose to such a weakling?"

The large dragon lumbered around sluggishly. Its four legs struggled to find purchased as the furious goddess advanced on it. Its large head snapped at her and it lashed its tail at her but the Goddess batted aside the futile attacks.

"You coulda just stayed put in the mountains but you had to mess with my shit." White Heart pointed her axe at the dragon who lashed out with its tail, knocking up the debris around it and firing it towards Blanc.

"That all ya got ya shitty midboss?" White heart scowled as strange red stone struck her in the forehead. "Ouch that fucking hurt! Eh? What the hell?" In a small explosion of light, the powerful goddess White Heart found herself back in her normal form. "W-what the hell?" She rolled under the dragon's heat breath. "So you turned the tables did you?" Blanc narrowed her eyes. 'This is bad!'

The dragon sensing that its luck was changing, lunged at her and let out a deafening roar.

"I can't believe I am going to be killed by an oversized lizard," Blanc raised her hammer to deflect the fierce slash of the creature only the attack never landed. "What the…" She trailed off.

"Holy hell this is a big lizard." Naruto grit his teeth as he struggled against the beast's claw armed with a kunai.

"Elder Dragon Tiamat." His collar chirped. "This S-Ranked Monster has a fire breath that is excess of 10,000 degrees Centigrade and has scales that can deflect most standard weapons. Known Attacks: Thermal Lance, Claw Slash and Deafening Roar. Attack and Defence both incredibly high. Suggested Plan of Attack: Don't."

"… Seriously I am going to get Kei to mute you." Naruto groaned.

"Who… Who are you?" Blanc blinked.

"I'm a Ninja here to save you." Naruto winked.

"I… I don't need your help." Blanc scowled.

"I recognise that voice," Kei remarked. "Retreat."

"Like hell I'm leaving a cute girl to get killed by that dragon!" Naruto growled.

"Cute?" Blanc blinked.

"Well yeah," Naruto raised an eyebrow before rolling out of the way of a fierce slash.

"Like a little kid I bet you sick shit," Blanc growled. "All small and meek?!"

"Like a child?" Naruto blinked. "Why would I think that?"

"Well…" Blanc looked at her lacking chest.

"What? Breasts?" Naruto snorted with derision. "The girl I like has practically a flat chest and a fiery temper!

"Eh?!" Blanc blinked. 'Does he mean… me?! Is this one of those love at first sight moments that I've written about but never experienced?!' She was so lost in her thoughts that she never saw the attack coming at her.

"Look out!" Naruto pushed her to the side and was struck clean across his back, the dragon's claws ripping through his clothes and scoring deep wounds across his black.

"Eh? Why'd you do that?" Blanc looked at the wounded Naruto.

"Tch," Naruto pulled himself to his feet. "There's no way in hell I'm letting you get hurt."

'That… That unwavering desire to save me and the declaration that the girl he loves has a flat chest and a temper… Could it really be?' Blanc blinked. 'I… I don't know what to do?!'

"So let's do this you flying crocodile!" Naruto created a clone and formed a rasengan, charging the dragon that opened its mouth.

'Here goes nothing!" Naruto thought as he thrust the Rasengan at the creatures jaw, forcing its mouth shut in a shower of sparks as his Jutsu tried to grind its way through the monster's scales. While dealing no damage, he did manage to redirect the thermal lance the dragon was launching through the roof, causing the cave to start to collapse around them.

"Crap!" Naruto hightailed it out, grabbing the stunned Blanc's hand and pulling her outside.

"I…" Blanc looked at the floor. "Thanks…" She looked up at Naruto.

"Don't mention IIIITTT!" Naruto cried out in surprise as the dragon flew out the cave grabbing his head in its claws and flying into the air. "I REGRET NOTHING!" He declared as Blanc watched him get carried off.

"Shit," Blanc cursed. "That fucking lizard ruined my moment!" She glanced at her arm. "Why can't I transform?" She watched Naruto get carried away into the sunset. "Shit…" She mumbled as she started to long walk back. Without her transformation powers she couldn't do anything. Still she had a feeling that she couldn't quite place. A feeling she would be seeing that boy again soon, in the meantime she decided to make a stop at a small vendor stall to buy souvenirs for her little sisters, Rom and Ram.

"Chu!" A small mouse exclaimed as he watched the Goddess leave.. "That was lucky! I didn't know how to explain to the old hag that one of the crystals was in a dragon's hoard and a Goddess was in the way but now I don't have to." It stared at the strange stone. "Maybe she will start to realise how useful I am!" It paused. "Probably not though chu."

With Naruto.

"LET GO OF ME!" Naruto squirmed as the dragon kept a firm grip on his head.

"Mission Updated! Dragon is leaving Lastation Territory. Return To Lastation for your reward! You are almost free of your Debt to society! Only 34 Years to go after this quests completion!"

"HOW THE HELL AM I ALMOST FREE?!" Naruto roared at the collar.

"Well… You are probably going to die and be freed from your earthly bonds!" The collar replied.

"All of my hate." Naruto squirmed and gave out a cry of relief when he managed to pull himself free. "Ahaha!" Naruto laughed as he started to fall. "Hey wait… My forehead protector!" He glanced at the dragon's claw and saw his trust headgear still stuck on the dragon's claw. "Noooo!"

"If I might interject," Kei calmly interrupted him, "My sensors show you are approximately 4000 feet above the ground and falling quickly. I would believe that to be a bigger concern than your missing headgear."

"Huh?" Naruto turned to see he was plummeting towards Lastation, more precisely a strange green crystalline structure that Naruto recognised as the area where Noire lived. "Oh nononononono!" Naruto started flapping his arms wildly. "This is not happening!"

"Launching interceptor missiles," Kei remarked.

"W-what?" Naruto blinked as countless missiles screamed out of Lastation towards him. "WHY?!"

"If you are a real ninja then just run across the missiles to the ground." Kei stated. "I would have thought for a ninja that would be easy."

"Oh yeah, we do this training exercise all time!" Naruto yelled at his collar.

"So it should be child's play then." Kei's voice cut off as if she had hung up.

"That… That…" Naruto bit his lip. "Oh well… Here goes nothing!" Naruto reached out and used his charka to try and stick to the missile but only succeeded in detonating it. Fortunately the blast was not very powerful but it did serve to cause Naruto to alter his trajectory slightly, straight into the path of another missile. "This sucks!" Naruto cried out as the explosions altered his course.

Elsewhere

"Aah!" Uni smiled as she washed herself in the shower.

"Don't be too long," Noire warned her. "That perverted Ninja is due back any moment now."

"Onee-sama," Uni paused and turned to look at her towel clad sister. "I don't think Ninja-san is a bad person."

"He is a ninja," Noire pointed out. "Deception is in his nature! He is probably waiting for you to lower your guard then he will pounce like a hungry monster!"

"I don't think so." Uni mumbled as she continued bathing. 'After all he did try and stand up for me.'

She washed her hair and thought more about the strange ninja. He had some strange powers that interested her but seemed to be a decent enough sort. She ran her finger her through her hair and sighed as she stared at herself in the mirror. As with most things, Uni felt she was sorely lacking compared to her sister.

Her sister's hair was shinier that hers and her figure was shapelier.

"If only I was half as pretty as Onee-sama." Uni sighed sadly.

"I HATE THIS PLACE!" A familiar voice yelled.

"Ninja-san?" Uni paused in her self-evaluation.

There was an explosion and the roof seemed to fall around her but more important to Uni was the half-naked and slightly singed Naruto heading towards her with tears in his eyes.

"Ninja-sa-" She was cut off by the ninja in question crashing into her and bringing the shower curtain down with them until the naked Uni and almost naked Naruto were wrapped up in the shower curtain, Naruto with a hand on her breast and the other on her rear. His leg was stuck between hers and was dangerously close to her private garden but he couldn't pull away thanks to the shower curtain forcing them together.

"S-sorry." Naruto whispered.

"Uni are you…" Noire raced into the room, sword in hand.

"Er…" Naruto grinned awkwardly. "Hey there."

"…" Noire's eyes were covered by her hair as she stared at the floor. "This is honestly not what it looks like right?" He turned to Uni.

"…Your touching my…" Uni mumbled.

"Ah sorry!" Naruto tried to move away but his leg stimulated a certain area earning a soft moan from Uni who then went bright red with tears in her eyes.

"S-sorry!" Naruto managed to untangle himself but Uni ran away, clutching the shower curtain to herself with tears in her eyes. "So… Let me guess. I'm going to be executed then?"

"One billion years extension!" Noire yelled as she triggered his shock collar.

"Another extension you naughty boy! You have [Error Number to Large] Years till freedom!" His collar chirped before triggering an electric shock.

"Gargh!" Naruto cried out in pain as Noire stormed out of the room. "I deserved that…" He remembered the tear streaked face of Uni and walked out of the bathroom. "Hey Kei?"

"…Yes?"

"Can you direct me to Uni? I need to apologise to her."

"… I doubt she wants to see you but I suppose I can do that much as compensation for overestimating your abilities."

"You sent a salvo of fireworks at me," Naruto grumbled. "I've never had to deal with anything like that before."

"I thought ninja were trained to deal with the unexpected, Ninja-san."

Naruto decided not to respond (She could increase his punishment or activate his collar after all). The glowing orb that had lead him to the cave appeared and he followed it until he found a room that had a cute little sign saying 'Uni's Room' on it. He knocked cautiously. "Uni?"

"Go away!"

"I'm just here to say sorry." Naruto paused at the door. "I know that must have been pretty bad for you. A cute girl like that suddenly being pinned on the floor by someone like me. I want you to know that I didn't intend to get in that sort of a situation with you."

"You probably thought it was Onee-sama in there right?"

"What?" Naruto shook his head furiously (Not that Uni could see that). "Not at all! Of the two of you I'm glad it was you. N-not that I would do that!" Naruto quickly clarified. "I mean I would not force myself on anyone like that! I mean… Unless they wanted me to or something and oh my god I am rambling." Naruto shut up. "I'll be quiet now. If there is anything I can do to make things right then just ask!"

"Ninja-san?"

"Yes?"

"…I've… I've got a request…"

"Oh?"

"Will you teach me how you do that spirally orb attack?"

"It's kind of a family heirloom." Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "Why do you want to learn it?"

"I… I'm so weak compared to Onee-sama. I can't even transform."

"Transform?" Naruto blinked. "Oh I think I remember Noire's hair going white or something."

"She is a Goddess and she can transform into a Goddess. As a CPU candidate I should be able to transform." Uni looked down. "But I can't."

"I see," Naruto grinned at her. "I'm sure one day you will be able to."

"Thanks," Uni went to close the door but paused. "And Ninja-san?"

"Yes?"

"May I ask your name?"

"…I'm not planning on staying long," Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "My old teacher used to tell me not to give my name to people I'm planning on leaving as it makes things harder." 'Although I'm pretty sure he meant about the girls he was sleeping with although he kind of has a distinctive appearance so I doubt they need his name.'

"Ah…" Uni nodded. "I guess as soon as your sentence is paid you'll be heading back to your own dimension."

"That's the plan." Naruto pulled a face. "And the sooner I'm away from that Sadistic goddess the better."

"Er…" Uni smiled weakly.

"Sadistic am I?" Noire growled.

"…Oh come on." Naruto slumped.

"They you must be a masochistic!" Noire declared as she activated his shock collar.

"Why me?!" Naruto cried out in pain.

...

(well everyone read and review saying what you thought of the first chapter and dont forget to thank Drake wilson for his work on this story andif you have any ideas please send me a PM and ill listen to it and ill tell youif i will use it and if I do i will put that it was your idea when it appears so you would get the credit ok. well evryone read and review)