Title: Just Perhaps (Mamoru's View)

Author: Lisa

Rating: PG

Author's Notes:

One of my lovely reviewers, mae-E, suggested that I do a sequel to this fic from Mamoru's p.o.v. (which is really more up my alley in case you haven't read my other stuff), and I thought it might be fun! This isn't quite a sequel, more like a companion piece, but hope it's still worth a read anyway. Let me know your thoughts! :)

Disclaimer: Sailor Moon and the others don't belong to me, but this story does.

I was in danger, so much danger, of breaking the last threads of self-control that kept me from falling over the edge into the infinitely frightening abyss that others called love. I had never considered myself an emotional person—quite the opposite actually, as my best friend Motoki would happily attest to—yet ever since she hit me with that crumbled up test paper, every day now became a struggle to rein in the maddening thoughts and feelings that always seemed to catch me off guard in the most inopportune moments. Usagi might as well have hit me with a boulder rather than paper, but I'm pretty sure my brain hasn't functioned properly since that incident. That was how I found myself taking the long way to class every day, always at the same time (who knew the girl could be so exact in her timing when she seemed to be late for just about everything else), only to have the pleasure of coming into the direct path of a mini-blond tornado. Our exchanges were as forceful as the initial impact and left me breathless—quite literally—each time. I lived for those precious moments with the impossibly beautiful angel who I was quite sure would never give me the time of day otherwise. Pathetic, I know…but I had long since given up on the fact that I was destined for happiness in this world.

I turned the corner, checked my watch to confirm the time, and drew in an anxious breath, silently praying that she had not decided to switch up her routine out of the blue. I shuddered to think of what I'd do without my daily fix of Usagi…

Without fail, I felt her small, warm body pummel into me with surprising strength. I clung onto her with silent desperation, reveling in the feel of her arms underneath my palms, delighting in the sound of her small breaths of exertion that left little puffs of steam in chilly fall air, and admiring the way the morning sunlight reflected in her sky-blue eyes and transformed her blond hair into molten gold. Today, like every day, I was forcibly struck by her beauty.

Yet all good things must come to an end, and I had a show to perform. I reached into my repertoire of insults and pulled out my standard issue, armed and ready to engage in the verbal sparring that, in my opinion at least, soured the closeness we had just shared.

"Oy, Odango Atama!" I secretly loved the nickname I had come up for her. It was our little secret…of course she hated it with fiery passion. "How many times do I have to tell you to watch where you're going?"

"And how many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me that, Mamo-baka?" I didn't mind being called Mamo-baka all day if it meant I could listen to that delightful ringing voice of hers. Others may call it shrill, but love is blind as they say.

As if on cue, I put on an outward façade of irritation by flashing her my most convincing frown and folding my arms dramatically in front of my chest. That should do the trick. And that would show Motoki for grumbling that I wouldn't take that acting class with him. Who needed to take a class when I was living the ultimate act?

"Do you always need to run so fast? With that speed and force, you'd think I was run over by a truck." I offered her another signature glare and made a show of rubbing my shoulder from having been at the receiving end of her physical assault. Really though, it was my heart that needed medical attention given how traitorously fast it was beating.

"Well, why do you always have to be in my way? I have places to go and people to see, you know." My heart suddenly reversed course and all but stopped at hearing those words. Of course she had people to see, plenty of them I would imagine. Plenty of men who would love to stare into those eyes as vast and endless as the sky, to hold her hand, to taste those delightfully pink lips…

"No one's stopping you." Those words came out harsher than I had intended, spurred by the painful thoughts of my Usagi (who am I kidding…she would never be mine) with some dark handsome stranger. I bowed dramatically and cleared the path for her escape. I suddenly felt the weight of my past and the loneliness of my future hit me like a brick wall. "I'm sure you have another math test to fail." Again with the insults. I might as well dig my grave deeper and deeper and just stay in there for good measure.

"You baka! Why don't you just…"

"Why don't I just…" I dared to look into those sky-blues once more, aching for some alternate reality where she didn't curse my existence. Her eyes were glazed over and had a frightening far-away look in them. Perhaps she was plotting strategic ways for my untimely demise… "Odango?"

"Just go," she whispered finally with a strange sadness that sent chills down the length of my spine, and I felt the remaining remnants of my heart shatter. "I'm sure you have places to go and people to see too." If only she knew…

"I—" I had no words, except the ones that I was certain she never wanted to hear. The truth was, I really didn't have places to go and people to see. I wanted nothing more than to go where she went, to see her and not have her face contort in disgust. And one day, just perhaps, I'd finally build up the courage to tell her that. Not today, however. Today I had to readily concede defeat to my cowardice once again.

"I guess I'll see you around then, Odango," I said lamely and snuck one last glance at the uncharacteristically silent blond before I managed to get my feet working again. There was something in her eyes that I couldn't quite fathom as I made my shameful departure. But that was a mystery left to be solved for another day.

Somehow when I write in Mamoru's p.o.v., it always gets a bit angsty haha. Anyway, please leave me a quick review! I'll be working on new chapters to "Shipwrecked" and "Remembrance" in the coming weeks, so please be on the lookout. Until then, take care!

This story was written and posted October 2015.