Hey guys, chap 5 is up! Thanks for reading and reviewing my story, your comments are very welcome like constructive criticisms if you have them. As you will read, neither Crystal nor Pernell have nothing to do with Anne Wu… so enjoy!

The following days were all kind of crazy, they passed so fast. The trial and her husband accepting Jocelyn's decision to take PJ off life support, the masquerade party and the conversation between Brooks and Pernell and finally the deal closed.

While Crystal clapped her hands at the concrete pour only part of the worries and tension left her body but her mind went back to the trial and Pernell's behavior: not in her best dreams she'd have imagined her husband giving up and accepting the sad reality that PJ was gone and it was Jocelyn's right to decide what to do about it, they were saying goodbye to him the day after. She kept clapping and smiling, playing the part like she had to but she had to double her efforts because her husband – who shouldn't have been there in the first place – decided to attend the event and then left leaving her alone, as usual. She stayed at the after party a little more avoiding to arouse suspicions and then left going back to the comfort of her house but Crystal didn't expect to find Pernell there seated on the stairs waiting for her.

"Was it good? The after party?"

"The usual" she said toeing off her heels

She was about to surpass him on the stairs when he grabbed her hand "I don't want to say goodbye to PJ tomorrow"

Crystal freed her hand "Don't start Pernell. You said it was okay for Jocelyn to decide in court, you can't take it back"

"I'm not taking it back, it's just hard"

"And you think it's not for me? I carried him for nine months after a long and painful hormones theraphy and I raised him with all the love I could give him, he's my still baby boy"

She quickly brushed the tears away but Pernell stood up and hugged her, she stayed still not hugging him back at the beginning but when he tightened his grip around her, she let go finding comfort in his arms. It wasn't love, it was grief, two parents' grief that were about to lose their son.

"Why don't you sleep in our bed tonight?"

"Forget it, Pernell" she broke the hug taking a step back "If you need to release some tension you can go to your other wife"

She turned around climbing the stairs to go to her room

"So our sex life is over?"

She laughed loudly "What 'sex life'? Please don't make laugh"

"We made love last week"

"After how long? Ages?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Do I even have to explain it to you? You've your hookers to satisfy your needs, now it's this Tessie whatever and before there was someone else or maybe you want to tell me how good they all are at listening"

"Crystal, you know that I love you"

"Does it still mean something?" she stared at him sadly "I just want to say goodbye and bury my son, this is the only thing that matters"

And she left him there looking at her disappearing on the upper floor

That day was the day, the day Crystal Harris'd have watched Jocelyn take PJ off life support, the day she'd have said goodbye to her only child. Sometimes she thought that if she didn't have so much trouble conceiving maybe Pernell and her would have had other children, the house would have been fuller and more joyful but it hadn't gone that way.

She wore black, total black, she wasn't a very colorful person and somehow it seemed appropriate that day. Standing in front of the mirror for the final make up touches she saw a devastated woman reflected, someone who stayed strong too much and couldn't bear the pain anymore. She'd have planned her son's funeral and finally let him rest in peace, then she'd have given Pernell few days to wrap his head around it – as if it was even possible – and then asked him for a divorce. Even if she didn't fall in love with Nick, she didn't think she could have never forgotten what she knew, about the other wedding and above all she would have never been able to forgive: it was over, 27 years and it was over because of a hooker and a fake marriage, unbelievable!

The car drive to the hospital was silent and Crystal was grateful for that, there were no words to say and silence seemed the only answer. After the umpteenth fight she had with her husband the day before, she dined alone in her room not caring if he was at home or not, she didn't want to see his face.

When they reached the room 757 Jocelyn was already there wearing a grey cardigan she tightened around herself, they didn't greet each other, they just waited for the doctor and when he arrived, the procedure started: Jocelyn removed the pulse oximeter clamp from PJ's finger taking his hand in hers while the doctor removed the ventilator and turned off the machines around him. There was a moment of silence, no more beeping, no more oxygen pumped into PJ's lungs, just silence and then the miracle happened… PJ gasped breathing on his own, his chest rising up and down and when the doctor turned on the machine there was pulse, his heart was beating. Crystal got closer to her son's bed shocked, her hands jointed like in prayer, her eyes full of tears, she couldn't believe it: every doctor, every expert told them he was gone exactly how they had told her she couldn't have children but they were wrong, they were all wrong... PJ had been and was her miracle! Tears of joy started lining her cheeks when she grabbed his son's other hand kissing it and holding it tight, he was alive. Afterwards the doctor asked them to leave the room to run some tests on PJ to verify this miraculous recovery and that gave Crystal the chance to get away for a moment and call Nick.

"Hey Crys"

"My son's alive" she cried on the phone "It's a miracle Nick! When the doctor turned off the machine and removed the ventilator he started breathing on his own, I…"

"I'm so happy for PJ and for you and Jocelyn"

"I still can't believe this is happening, I thought my son was gone"

"Except for PJ, how are you? I haven't heard from you in two weeks and I know that I've seen you in court but we couldn't talk"

"I… I'm fine, I'm great. God Nick, you can't imagine how I feel right now"
"Well the nightmare is over and in a good way"

"I guess he'll still have a long recovery in front of him, I don't know, the doctors sent us out to run some tests"

"When can I see you?"

"I don't know. Until this morning I thought I'd have had to plan my son's funeral instead he's alive"

"I understand this is a very joyful moment and I'd like to share it with you"

"Listen Nick…"

"Did you change your mind about us?"

"I… I need to be with my son now, I need to help him recover…"

"I'm not asking you to ignore PJ, you can find time to be with both of us and you know it if it's what you really want Crystal or was I just a rebound for your grief?" his words came out harsher than he meant

"Is it what you really think? That I was using you to get over my son's death?"

"No, it came out all wrong, I'm sorry"

She didn't say anything, he just heard her sniff

"Say something Crystal, I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry"

"I can't leave him right now"

"I told you…"

"Not PJ, Pernell, I can't leave him right now. We've to be a family for PJ, he needs this, he shot himself because no one was there to listen, no one was there for him, no one didn't even realize how much he was suffering"

"This is an excuse, PJ's not a baby, he's an adult, he can see both you and Pernell together, he doesn't need to know you're divorcing. He needs your love, not the charade of a perfect family you are not anymore!"

"You can't understand, you don't have children"

"No I don't, you're right" he paused "Maybe I should just let you go"

"Nick…" her voice trembled

"I fought so hard for you, you made me believe you could choose me, you could really leave him for me, I was such a fool"

"It's not true, I do want to leave Pernell, just not now"

"Then when?" he yelled "When Crystal? When your son will start eating and walking on his own? It might take months, even years"

"Don't do this, don't lose faith in us"

"What us? I'm the only fool who believed there was an us to protect, to fight for. I've waited when you told me there were more important things at stake, the Brooks deal, right? Then the trial, then today, then what? You're asking me to wait for you forever?"

"It won't be forever, just a month or two"

"I don't know Crystal. I love you more than anything in the world but I deserve someone who really wants to be with me, who really wants to commit. What did you tell me that morning in the hotel room? Some marriages aren't supposed to end? Maybe you were right, maybe everybody has what they deserve"

"This is not fair! I don't deserve this. I've been honest with you, I didn't lead you on, I love you"

"Show me! Show me you love me, ask that piece of shit of your husband a divorce then I'll believe you" and he hung up

In the matter of ten minutes tears of joy turned into tears of sorrow because she had her son back but the price to pay was losing the man she loved. She tried to call him back but her calls were sent to the voice mail, he didn't want to talk to her anymore, he made a specific request, he asked to prove her love filing for divorce but it was an ultimatum she couldn't give in to, not at the moment.

TBC