Disclaimer: Every character belongs to the respective owners and producers of the "Rizzoli and Isles" show. There is no disrespect meant, nor profit (meant or made) with this work.

Authors note: Gs stands here for Geochelone Sulcata, Bass species.

I thought that it might be reasonable for Maura to subscribe to a sex\porn channel since she is always portrayed as quite open minded about sex.

Please note that Bass is quite the over educated tortoise, so he does some things that a tortoise (or turtle) couldn't do. It's my idea that most he learned through watching Maura. No tortoises (or turtles) were harmed in the writing of this fic.

Ps - text in "" ( italics) means that an animal is speaking

How Bass Isles met the Rizzolis

Bass Isles Gs.,was by all accounts a quiet and peaceful animal. And by is own account, a fairly accomplished tortoise and strawberry connoisseur. From the days he was a small hatchling full of promise, he tried is best to live up to the qualities of his species, and the fact that Maura, his adoptive mother, also strived for perfection was a source of motivation. He often considered that they were like minded and loved being with her, and he considered the time they had spent apart, while she went to Africa, to be one of the loneliest moments of his life. Despite all the attempts and good intentions of his grandparents with whom he had stayed. He had even stayed in his grandfather's office so he could keep an eye on him during the day. The fact that he was still very young had helped since he still could fit on a big terrarium.
They had been very happy since she returned and they moved around until they settled on Beacon Hill, he had been quite surprise when they arrived since he had mistakenly thought it was «Bacon Hill» and dreaded that the place might be riddled with pigs... Thankfully, he had been mistaken, which, according to himself, was a quite rare occurrence.
Life was peaceful, but he couldn't help to notice that mother sometimes seemed saddened, which after some research he concluded to be loneliness. Apparently Mother's species required a mate, or mates on some cultures.. he feared that he would never quite understand humans, behavior wise they seemed to be all over the place...

Meeting Jane Rizzoli

Bass Isles, was deep lost in concentration, in the peaceful atmosphere of his shell. Mother was in the living room reading. A sweet quiet evening until a shriek shook him roughly from his thought "What the hell is that!" He looked around still inside his shell but in full defense mode, only to find that he had rudely been referred to as "that". To his surprise mother was quite calm, and he hear his name being mentioned and the rude creature had the audacity to say "you mean that thing is alive!" Excuse me he was very much alive, thank you very much... Had he not been raised a gentlemen he would have answered "you mean she has brain?!".

Mother intervened, placing a soft hand on his shell and giving him a beautiful plump british strawberry, mother always knew how to appease him... she whispered to him " Bass, this is Jane, she is a friend and she is staying tonight." , "how wonderful mother..." he replied sarcastically since she couldn't understand his speech anyway.

Thankfully they both went to the spare guest bedroom, leaving him to his thoughts. Peace however wouldn't last, since the doorbell rang. The nerve of some people, he thought, to disturb them at such late hours. He didn't understand.. he usually knew when they would have company, through his mother's change in routine, which allowed him to retire into the pantry where he could be left in peace, and he would not be tripped over... as it had once happened. All this led him to conclude that both of tonight's visits were unexpected.. mercifully this one, a male he guessed from the sound of his voice, did not enter and did not stay long. Upon mothers return she stopped by his spot and told him "I'm sorry for the confusion darling, i know it stresses you. Jane is a good friend, and right now needs some consolation. She may seem a little rough on the first impression but I'm sure you will like her" and with that she left him with another strawberry treat.

That thing had seemed perfectly fine for him.. but he noticed that there was a certain shine in her eyes ever win since the woman arrived and even when she spoke of her.. Could she be Mother's potential mate? He remembered that, while researching human mating habits, finding a book on his mother's lower shelf by a doctor Kinsey which was quite helpful... he had previously tried a doctor Freud but it had all seemed very obsessive and unsupported to him...

Anyway he had learned that though procreation required male and female, that humans, like other primates often had intercourse (though he wasn't sure on the specifics of how this went about) for emotional reasons, social or just pleasure.. And humans could be attracted to one of the sexes or to both, thought he did not memorize the scale.. .He considered, judging by the visits his mother had in which she had over groomed herself - that his mother might be partial to both sexes... he was still very intrigued about the specifics...

Maybe he should try to switch on the black box thingy and do a quick search since it was already on and on mute, habit of Mother's to quickly view anything that might be of interest to her, and he had become somewhat adept at the remote after watching Mother use it over and over.. after all, that thing showed all kinds of intercourse... He had seen giraffes, hippos, elephants, fish and even his own kind! That had been particularly vexing... how low would some of his own go, to show the world such intimate moments... He had watched a couple minutes, in protest of course... Anyway, that box had anything having it with anything else, so it was bound to have some humans in there too.

He made is way to the living room and managed to get its upper body on the (thankfully low) coffee table. He pressed carefully on the buttons until eventually he landed on a sex channel. The first five minutes were intriguing simply showing women undressing and walking around, until then came another woman to the first woman and a second couple, a man and woman, that watched the first - it was awkward, then weird, then the whole thing became entirely too graphic and gross which caused him to slip, remote and all, on the floor!

He guessed that he may have made quite a commotion since he heard mother say "its just Bass!" Thank god he didn't flip onto to his back, or it would have been his most embarrassing moment ever... lying helpless on his back with the box showing in appalling detail the humans mating - he just knew he was going to get nightmares... sometimes ignorance does is bliss...