The title for chapter twenty is from "Come Back When You Can" by Barcelona

Chapter 20: if all you wanted was me, i'd give you nothing less

The flight back to the SHIELD bunker was short, silent, and awkward. Clint sat with his head on Pietro's shoulder, vaguely aware that the rest of the team was staring at them. He didn't know why Pietro had run out on them to rescue Clint on his own, and none of the team knew why Pietro was covered in someone else's blood, and Clint's conclusion on the situation was that no one on the quinjet was really sure they wanted to know the story behind these things. If he was being honest with himself, Clint sort of wished he hadn't had to see Pietro skewer that guy, but for now, he was too tired to dwell on it much. All that really mattered to him at the moment was that he was safe. Pietro had saved him and they were going home.

When they arrived at the bunker, Pietro carried Clint to the infirmary and left him to be cared for by Helen, who promised to notify Pietro the moment he was allowed to visit. Pietro gave Clint a kiss, then went to find out where his room in the bunker was. The room was small and rather bare – the only furniture was a bed, a wardrobe, and a single nightstand with a small metal lamp. Maria's agents had brought his and Clint's things from their Seattle apartment and left them on the bed. Pietro went into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. He turned and immediately caught sight of his reflection in the mirror over the sink.

It felt like he was staring at someone else. Sure, he still looked like himself, but what he was seeing didn't match up with the person he had always believed himself to be. A spray of blood was splashed across his chest, flecks of it scattered over his face like freckles. He tore his eyes away from his reflection to look down at his hands; both were covered in blood, partly dried in places, but still a deep, sickening shade of scarlet.

This wasn't him. Okay so he'd killed someone before today, but this... this was different. It was a whole new level of violence. Shooting someone repeatedly in the face had been brutal, but it hadn't drenched him in another man's blood as this had. Pietro felt sick at the thought. He stripped off his clothes and turned on the shower, turning up the heat as hot as he dared. He winced as the scalding water hit his body and adjusted the temperature a little before grabbing a washcloth and desperately scrubbing the blood away.

When he had finished and dried off, he went back into the bedroom and dug out some clothes from his duffel bag. He got dressed, then went back out to wait to be allowed to visit Clint. Natasha was already sitting there, still in her Black Widow suit. Pietro sat a few seats away and pulled his knees up to his chest, resting his chin on them. After a minute of silence, he glanced over to Natasha.

"So, how badly did I fuck up you guys' rescue plan?" he asked.

Natasha shrugged.

"It was no big deal," she said.

"I completely fucked it up, didn't I?"

"Yeah, kinda," said Natasha. "But seriously, it's no big deal. I mean, you definitely shouldn't do it again, but... well, I get why you did. We all do."

"Sorry," Pietro said.

"I told you, it's fine."

"Yeah, you think it's fine, but do any of the others?"

"Look, if any of them try and give you shit about it, let me know," said Natasha. "Because pretty much every single one of them would be acting hypocritical if they scolded you for running off on a reckless suicide mission to save someone you love."

Pietro smiled a little.

"Oh, I know," he said. "That's part of why I was so angry, honestly. I just didn't want to waste time by starting shit."

"Smart move. Though you might've gotten Steve on your side if you brought it up."

"Somehow it feels wrong to guilt trip Captain America."

"You'll get over that," Natasha said, winking at him.

Pietro laughed. Just then, the door opened and Helen stepped out.

"You can come see him now," she said.

Pietro stood up and turned to Natasha.

"Aren't you coming?" he asked.

"I'll join you in a little while," Natasha said. "I'll give you two some privacy first."

Pietro smiled at her, then followed Helen into the infirmary. He went to Clint's bedside and leaned in to give him a kiss before sitting down.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

Clint shrugged.

"I've definitely been better," he said. "But it could've been a lot worse. So thanks."

Pietro smiled and took his hand.

"It was no trouble."

"Yeah it was, you nearly died," said Clint.

"But I didn't," Pietro pointed out.

"Yeah, 'cause your sister saved your ass."

"But I saved yours," Pietro said, kissing him again.

"Yes, you did."

They smiled at each other, but those smiles soon faded. They both knew the cheerful teasing was only a distraction so they wouldn't have to face grimmer truths.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Pietro asked.

"I'll be fine. Just need a little recovery time is all," said Clint. "What about you, are you gonna be okay?"

"I wasn't just tortured."

"No, but you did just kill a man. Pretty gruesomely, I might add."

Pietro looked down, avoiding Clint's gaze.

"I could say I did what I had to, but I know that would be a lie," he said quietly. "I didn't have to kill him. But I did. I didn't even think about it. I just... he was hurting you and I was upset and angry and... well, you know me, I'm an impulsive idiot... I just never thought that would lead me to murder... twice... it's scary how easy it was..."

Clint lifted Pietro's chin so he could look him in the eyes.

"In the right circumstances... killing is easy. Especially when you're doing it for someone you love," he said. "I pretty much became a serial killer for the exact same reason you killed that guy, so I can relate. And yeah, it's scary, 'cause we're Avengers, we're supposed to be the good guys... but good guys screw up sometimes. Sometimes we screw up a lot."

"I'm that second kind of good guy," Pietro said.

"So am I," said Clint. "We're the screw ups. The ones with bad tempers and worse coping methods. The ones who do stupid, reckless shit because we care too much about others and not enough about ourselves. But y'know what? We're still the good guys. We're still Avengers. And we're definitely not alone. We're surrounded by screw ups every day of our lives, and they've managed to become some of the greatest heroes I've ever had the privilege of knowing."

"So you're saying I could become the next Iron Man?" Pietro said with a smirk.

"Hell no," said Clint. "You're gonna be Quicksilver, the super cool, super sexy superhero that everyone wants to be like because you've saved the world so many times."

"I've got a lot of work cut out for me," said Pietro. "Mostly I've just been saving your pretty ass. The whole world is a bit harder to save."

"Well, you won't have to do it alone," said Clint. "You'll have your awesome superhero boyfriend with the pretty ass by your side the whole time."

Pietro grinned.

"Quicksilver and Hawkeye, the world's next great super-duo. Saving the world by shooting things with an ancient weapon and running really fast."

"The world is fucked."

Thanks again to my friend, Psylockethe2nd (formerly Avengerslover624), for giving me the idea for this fic and helping me workshop it :)