Ehh, this chapter is more to move the plot along than anything else.

I don't own One Piece or Homestuck.

Growing up, Joan's father was her best friend. She didn't always get along with her peers, preferring jokes over make-up and her grades over boys. Even her tentative friendships with the neighborhood boys, who actually appreciated her humor, died off once she started growing. She wasn't good enough for the girls and too girly for the boys.

Meeting Jade, Dave, and Rose online was a saving grace. But, strange as he was, Gabriel Egbert was Joan's first supporter, behind her every step of the way. She couldn't ask for a better father, ecto-biology shenanigans be damned.

He raised her, cared for her, and she loved him for it. Though, Joan was curious as to how the Game motivated her father, if everything he did was pushed by some invisible instructions. Did he know what was going to happen? Did he know he was going to die? Did he know he was going to leave her all alone? That the one person she trusted to always be by her side would end up in a pool of his own painfully bright blood, sprawled beside a strange woman, his chest not moving, Dad, Daddy-

Joan shook her head, causing Casey to glub once in question. "I'm fine," she assured her wonderful daughter with a smile. The goddess stared up at the entrance to the Marine Base, planting her quivering hands firmly on her hips as she took in the scene. "Now, do we want to be all sneaky like or flashy?" she mused.

Casey glubbed, waving her Crook adamantly.

Those that dared besmirch her good name did not deserve the effort of secrecy. No, they must show those fools just how weak they truly were and then let them bemoan their mistakes. It was the will of the entangled ones.

"Hm," Joan acknowledged, nodding in agreement. "Yeah, I think you're right!"

Having come to a decision, Joan stepped forward, scanning the tall gate. Canting her head in contemplation, she reached out one hand to lightly caress the exact center of the gate, where she could see a seam between the two metal doors. Looking up slightly, she saw the iconic marine seagull, proudly displayed to ward off all those that might have nefarious purposes.

Joan, with a grin promising mischief, pulled her arm back and launched her fist at the gate. She roared with victory, feeling the metal give way under her fingers. The Heir cheered when the doors broke off, flying into the base and slamming into a wall with a mighty boom.

She threw her arms up in victory as a cloud of dust spread across the area, briefly hiding her from the sight of the panicking Marines.

"What the hell was that?!"

"Are we under attack?!"

"Quick, someone find Commodore Cancer! I think the dust is settling!"

Joan, being the polite young lady she was raised to be, let the Marines run around like headless chickens for a moment. It would have been rude to attack them when they didn't know what was going on, after all. Plus, it was really funny to watch.

Of course, she also had to hold back Casey, taking the free time to teach her little girl about fighting etiquette. Or, at least, etiquette when fighting those obviously weaker. It was an important lesson for any roaming badass – defeating weaklings isn't as much fun as fighting those that can actually put up a fight.

She would admit, she learned that from comic books. But it's the manners that counted, in the end!

"It-it's just…a woman?" a gob smacked Marine announced bewildered as Joan became visible.

"Hello!" she greeted cheerfully, waving a hand. Her grin stretched across her face, apparently an unnecessary attempt to be friendly. "Who here is in charge?"

"That would be me," Joan blinked at the blond, shades-wearing man that answered as he strolled out of the base. He let out a puff of smoke around his cigar as he checked her over, raising an eyebrow at Casey's confrontational glare. "Commodore Cancer. Now, is there something you needed, little girl?"

The chaotic goddess chuckled, her eyes slipping shut. "Sorry about that! I just needed your attention. But, if the big man himself is here, I think it's time to get started, don't you think, Casey?"

The marines fidgeted as Joan grinned and her salamander-daughter glubbed rapidly in excitement. She reached out her right hand expectantly, her weapon of choice popping into existence.

"Now, I need to teach you some basic biology," Joan stated, nonchalantly swinging Zillyhoo so it rested on her shoulder. "Professor Egbert is gonna school-feed ya."

Having said her piece, she swung her colorful hammer, Casey following after with her hastily raised corpse army.

This is what the salamander lived for. The rush of battle, the screams of terror. Oh, it brought a shiver down her spine.

She smacked her Crook against the ground, feeling the bones beneath the surface dance to her tune, raising to the surface at her firm command.

This…was going to be so much fun.

"Dragon! Oh, Dragon!" Joan called as she burst into Dragon's crowded office, cutting off their very important planning. They were nearing the kingdom of Sepel and they needed to plan for their course of action. If rumors were true, something was foul in that country.

And Dragon had every intention of digging up the truth and liberating those suffering under the kingdom's suppression.

"Ms. Joan, is everything alright?" Dragon asked, straightening up in concern. He gave the maps a longing look as his crew sighed, exasperated with the kind woman that captured their leader's attention simply by entering the room.

"Everything's fine, human," Vriska informed him, stepping in after her excited moirail. "She just can't contain herself." Casey trailed behind her, an exasperated frown decorating her yellow face. Of course, the Future Overlord of the Universe nodded in greeting when her enthusiastic students waved at her. No need to create unneeded dissonance.

"You remember my super fun adventure yesterday?" Joan cut in before Vriska could explain further, leaning in as if whispering conspiringly to the Revolutionary. He took notice of the sheets of paper she held clutched to her chest, but decided to hold off his questions until she was calmer.

Dragon refrained from sighing and nodded. "When you took Casey to terrorize a Marine base?"

"Yeah!" she chirped, bouncing on her heels, barely able to contain herself. "And guess what?" She paused in anticipation, her blue eyes glittering as they focused solely on Dragon.

"What?" Dragon humored her after a moment.

"Not only did Casey and I make front page," she crowed. "But our bounties also increased!" The chaotic goddess waved the pages enthusiastically. Dragon plucked them from her hands to get a closer look, patiently ignoring her responding whine.

"'Marine Base Redecorated," Dragon read aloud. "Commodore Cancer Unavailable for Comment.' Ms. Joan, what did you do to them?"

"Most of it was Casey," she boasted. "My baby girl raised a totally awesome army of dead people to chase the marines around their base. So, I painted it a bright yellow to celebrate her first official fight!"

Joan smiled widely, displaying her two large front teeth. She basked in the stupefied silence for a moment as they absorbed the new information. She tried not to fidget too much, else Vriska would notice.

Joan wanted to finish her conversation with Dragon before her gal pal dragged her off. It's just…she could barely feel the breeze. Dragon's office was closed off, without a single window to let the fresh air the goddess needed.

And, after fully acquainting herself with her powers, Joan gained something other than relative immortality. She craved the freedom of the open space, where the breeze can envelop her completely.

As an annoying side effect, she became claustrophobic easily, preferring the open sky over an enclosed room any day.

It was harder in the Veil. No matter where she was, it felt stifling, the stillness of space suffocating her slowly. This world was spoiling her, so much so that, some night, only snuggles with her moirail got her to sleep in their room, even with the window open.

Joan considered it a miracle in and of itself that she was still with the Revolutionaries after so long. The wind was constantly whispering to her, promises of freedom and adventure that tempted her. She would shush the wind, promising that she would leave soon. She was content where she was at Dragon's side, at the moment.

But, much like her aspect, the Heir of Breath did not like to be contained.

The wind whispered again, eager as it weakly played with her hair. It wanted her to retreat back outside, where it was stronger and where there was more space to have fun.

The wind loved to have fun.

"'War Hammer' Joan, 30,000 beli and 'Necromancer' Casey, 20,000 beli," Dragon stated, having flipped to the bounties while Joan was distracted by her aspect's insistence. "I'm impressed."

"Right?" Vriska drawled. "Joan is the best human. You better take me with you next time, though. Don't go hogging all of the glory, Heir Head." She flicked her hair over her shoulder, cocking her hip arrogantly.

"Haha, sorry about that, Vriska," Joan chuckled awkwardly. "I was just so annoyed. Casey is obviously a salamander, who flunked basic biology that they mistook my daughter for a common lizard?"

"Are you talking about education, Ms. Joan?" Dragon wondered, a deep furrow forming on his brow. The crew around them started to mutter, curious. These girls kept getting stranger and stranger with each passing day.

"What else would I be talking about?" the Heir huffed, crossing her arms.

"Very few children are taught subjects other than what they need to survive, Ms. Joan," the Revolutionary informed her. "Most are tutored by their parents, who have limited knowledge themselves. Only marines and nobles are able to receive a formal education."

Joan froze. Sure, she didn't really like school growing up, but she understood the importance of the institute. Reading, writing, science, basic math: the information learned in school would stick with a student for years. It made for interesting conversations with Jade and most of the Alphas, who grew up without proper schooling. Though, they definitely kicked her butt in the science and math fields either way. She found it to be a bit unfair.

"That's…not right," Joan muttered, bewildered.

Dragon's brow eased as he took in her honest confusion. "Perhaps you can teach those onboard so they don't make the same mistake," he suggested. "We don't want you to fly into a rage again, now do we?"

The Heir nodded absentmindedly, her mind already racing. She tried to remember school, an experience that seemed millennia ago. For all she knew, though, it truly had been millennia since she walked through the halls of Maple Valley Jr. High School. So much has happened since those lonely days.

It was bizarre to think of thousands of people not receiving the proper education. How many people were being ripped off by the more fortunate because they were unable to read or couldn't properly count their money? It was strange enough to hear about Alternia and how isolated the adolescent trolls were. This was something completely different, but equally disturbing.

"Joan," Vriska warned. "I don't think this would be the best idea." The Heir hesitated. Her moirail was usually all for showing off and rubbing her superiority in the face of those she deemed lower than her. Her reluctance was a blaring sign that the Heir was being too obvious in her own aversion to the idea.

"Is there something wrong, Ms. Joan, Ms. Vriska?" Dragon asked, even as he heard his crewmates shift uncomfortably. The four rescuers needed to show a unified force, to keep their crewmates calm and confident.

"No," Joan responded when the cerulean didn't answer. "No, there's nothing wrong Dragon. If anyone needs us, we'll by the mast."

Joan was in a daze as she dragged her annoyed moirail out of the room, freeing the breeze gleefully run through her hair as she crossed the threshold. She didn't stop, pretending not to see Dragon's furrowed brow or hear his concern as he called her name.

She needed to think this through for a moment.

Joan, this was supposed to be Casey's chapter to shine. Why must you steal the spotlight? I thought that was Vriska's job.

Fun Fact – Gabriel is now my fanon name for Dadbert. The short for Gabriel, Gabe, follows the four-letter 'rule' for the humans. Also, Gabriel means God is my strength. It makes me sad to replace 'God/god' with John. John is my strength. Dadbert, don't go hurting my heart, dammit.

You cannot tell me the One Piece world has former education, I absolutely refuse. Mentors, tutors, master/apprentices; that I will believe.

I'm hesitant to add Joan's dead-dad trauma in this chapter, but it will definitely have an effect on her future decisions, so I figured now was as good a time as any to formally introduce it. Here. Joan was traumatized by her dad's death and she sometimes has flashes that generally start up when she's feeling stressed/uncomfortable/doubtful. The Veil was horrible on her psyche and she never wants to leave the One Piece world cause the HorrorTerrors can't taint her dreams with memories of her father's corpse there. I don't even want to think about the other humans who don't have the respite of world travel or the Troll's sopor-slime-sleeping-agent. I'm done hurting my heart for today.

Guest Reviews:

Guest - Much like Luffy, Joan will only ever make sense to a select few and, even then, not always. Sadly, Joan stole the scene from Casey, though our favorite salamander still gets a lot done. I'm glad! I do worry that I'm soothing personalities out too much or falling back on typical stereotypes without noticing. It's so ingrained in media that sometimes I don't notice I've stereotyped until afterwards. I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far! Haha, I hope I don't mess up later on.

I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter. The next one shouldn't take so long to get out, especially since it's already half-way done.