Hey guys! I'm so so sorry I have taken such a stupid amount of time to update. I don't really have any other excuse besides the fact I never got around to it until recently. Anyway, this chapter is a little bit of fluff but mostly Hanna and Emily sussing out their feels and whatnot. Enjoy! xo

Chapter 5

No POV

Over the next week Emily made no mention of the "I think I love you" that Hanna said, just in case Hanna hadn't meant to say it or maybe she meant it differently. Nevertheless Emily didn't want to bring it up with Hanna mostly because she was worried it would scare Hanna away. Because even though Hanna had also said nothing more about it, there was no denying that their relationship had certainly developed from casual sex to more of a secret relationship sort of thing. They still slept together but now things had changed, it wasn't that it was necessarily worse, it was just… different.

The most obvious change was that, for example, they would no longer make out with an anticipation for sex. They would make out and more often than not it would lead to sex but sometimes they'd just… stop. And then they would even cuddle, just on the couch for hours, playing with each other's hair and soaking up each other's company. It was situations like this that made it most clear to Emily that they were no longer merely friends with benefits. Friends with benefits are meant to be just friends that have sex, they don't kiss or cuddle or be intimate when they aren't fucking. But that's exactly what was happening.

Hanna awoke in the morning to the soft embrace of Emily's arms wrapped around her securely. Hanna loved being the little spoon. She glanced at the clock and was pleased to see she still had a good 15 minutes before she had to get up. She rolled over and snuggled into the space between Emily's chin and her chest, wrapping her own arms around Emily until the two girls were knotted together like a pretzel in bed. Emily slowly stirred as she awoke, instinctively burying her fingers into the blondes soft waves of hair. Without a single thought Emily gently leaned down and ever so softly pressed her lips onto Hanna's, their movements in perfect sync. For the first time their kiss didn't deepen into something more sexually arousing, it did however intensify by the second. At that moment neither girl wanted to be anywhere else in the world but right where they were.

Emily couldn't help but let out a deep moan as she felt this pure connection turn her on more than any foreplay ever could. But Emily had to chastise herself, how many times had she allowed herself to feel something this amazing only for it to be entirely one sided. No, she had to keep her feelings in check. Breaking off the kiss, Emily rolled onto her back so she could breathe a little easier.

"Why did you stop, baby?" Hanna said as a frown formed on her lips.

"'Baby', what is that? Why baby?" Emily said, exasperated.

"Wha- I didn't mean-" Hanna started, shocked at Emily's sudden outburst.

"No, don't apologise… I didn't mean to go off like that. It's just…" Emily let out a long sigh "What are we doing Han?"

"Well I thought we were kissing" Hanna said with a slight chuckle, but as she read Emily's reaction she knew it was no time for joking. Both girls sat up before continuing.

"You know what I mean Han. Us. We're not just fuck buddies anymore, you know that. That wasn't the first time you've called me babe, we cuddle all the time just for the sake of it. Hell, last week you even told me you loved me!"

"…technically I said I think I love you." Hanna mumbled.

Emily raised an eyebrow as if to say 'don't be a smartass'.

"Sorry… I hadn't even realised you heard me that night…" Hanna said shyly, averting her eyes. "I don't know what you want me to say, Em."

"Alright, fine." Emily said "let me rephrase the question then. What would you say if I said I didn't want to be your fuck buddy anymore? What if I wanted to go back to being regular, platonic friends?"

"What? Why? Where is this coming from? Why can't it just be what it is?" Hanna said, worried about where Emily was going with this.

"I can't Han, it's getting too complicated and I'm feeling… things I shouldn't. It's just easier this way, this way I know where I stand… when we're just friends. Nothing more."

Hanna laid her head back down on the pillow and stared at the ceiling for a few moments. In her heart she knew what she felt but she couldn't seem to get her brain on board with the idea. She wanted to tell Emily that all she wanted was a little more time to come around, that maybe given some time they could be more. But she knew right now that it was too much uncertainty to be fair on Emily.

"If you think that's for the best…" Hanna whispered.

Emily had to swallow down the lump that had formed in her throat, she had hoped Hanna wouldn't give up so easily. It also kind of validated her thoughts that Hanna didn't feel quite the same way as she did.

"It'll probably be easier if I don't come around so often… um, I'll just have a shower and go home, I'm not really feeling school today…" Emily mumbled before getting out of bed and hastily walking to the bathroom.

Hanna was suddenly flooded with a sense of despair, she rolled over and hugged Emily's pillow close to her chest. Emily hadn't even left her house yet and the blonde already missed her more than ever. She didn't want things to change but she knew it was incredibly selfish of her if it stayed the same. She wasn't ignorant to the way Emily felt about her, she was mostly just upset with herself. If only she could get her shit together she wouldn't be screwing with Emily's feelings like this. But alas she was back at square one, except this time she knew what she wanted, she just didn't have the guts to say it.

By the time Emily came out of the bathroom she was already dressed, Hanna was still in the same position on her bed with the same idea of skipping school.

"Ok, I'm gonna head off so… I'll see you tomorrow?" Emily said, standing in the entrance to Hanna's room.

Hanna rolled over to face the brunette, still clutching onto that pillow. Sitting up and finally setting that pillow aside Hanna spoke, "Hey Em? Do you think that, maybe we could…? I dunno, um…"

Seeing Hanna struggle and also reading her mind Emily decided to help her friend. "Do you want one last goodbye kiss?"

"Don't call it that…"

"What do you want me to call it, then?"

"Just… until next time…" Hanna said, making eye contact for the first time in a while.

"Han…" Emily started but Hanna shushed her.

Hanna slowly stood up from her position on the bed, wearing nothing but a long t-shirt she walked over to where Emily stood. Hanna reached out and took Emily's hand in hers as she gently tugged the brunette back towards the bed. Hanna sat Emily down on the bed and instinctively straddled her legs, out of pure habit Emily didn't think twice about it. Hanna's blue eyes leaving Emily in a trance all over again.

"I want to kiss you like you kissed me earlier this morning." Hanna whispered seductively into Emily's ear, captivating her further.

Emily simply nodded. With one hand gripping the back of the brunette's neck and the other lost in her hair, Hanna held Emily as close as possible when she connected her lips to her best friend. Eyebrows furrowed she did her utmost to convey everything she could through that one kiss, knowing full well it could be their last. Conveying every thought, every feeling, she pulled her baby girl impossibly closer.

Emily was lost in Hanna, her touch so intoxicating, electrifying. The blonde brushing her tongue ever so slightly on the taller girls bottom lip, Emily granted her immediate access. Fighting for dominance and fighting for breath but never letting go. Emily didn't realise she was on her back until she felt the soft bed on the back of her head, and Hanna pressing her entire body against her.

Emily wasn't sure if this kiss was like the one they shared earlier but she definitely sensed an urgency in the way Hanna was kissing her. She couldn't help but think back to the first kiss they shared at Noel Khan's party, the look Hanna had given her after they broke away from each other… like she wanted to say something but didn't.

Emily reluctantly pulled away from Hanna and sat upright.

"I know what you're trying to do Han and I don't want you to do it like that, if there's something you want to tell me then please, just say it. Just tell me how you really feel Hanna, you did it once before but me being me I can't fully believe you until you tell me straight up." Emily said, knowing Hanna had a hard time speaking her mind when it came to feelings. It would be just like her to find any other alternative to tell Emily rather than just saying it.

Hanna was still a bit out of breath so it took her a moment before she finally replied. Fuck it she thought, it's now or never. This is her only chance.

"Em I… I think that… ok, um, when this all started I really did think it could be a good way for me to get over Caleb while at the same time becoming more comfortable in the bedroom and with myself. I kind of suspected that you may have liked me as more than a friend but I never really thought it would make a difference. Well, I'm definitely over Caleb now and I realized a week or so into this that maybe you were a lot more than just kind of into me."

Emily shifted a little uncomfortably, she didn't think she was that obvious about it at the start.

"And well," Hanna continued "it was never really just fucking was it? I was on the receiving end of so much love and affection from you and I was loving every minute of it. It felt really good to be wanted again. I was still trying to figure out in my head what I felt about all this, I didn't expect it to be like this at all. And as time went on I started to find it harder and harder to imagine being with anybody else. I couldn't fathom kissing anybody else and it feeling as good as it does with you…"

Emily was taken aback by the amount of honesty Hanna was giving her, not to mention she was saying all the things that Emily had always wanted to hear from her. And only her

"So why were you so ready to let me walk out that door and go back to being just friends?" Emily asked.

"I just… I was really scared, I still am. I'm afraid that I can't fully commit. I'm scared I'm not good enough for you…" Hanna admitted, she knew she was definitely over Caleb but it was still a little fresh in her mind and on her still partially broken heart. But not only that, she was worried she didn't deserve a girl like Emily. Emily was perfect in every way and Hanna was far from it.

Like Emily had read her mind she said, "Han, you're fucking perfect. And don't you ever think otherwise. Every time I had the slightest feeling that you might like me as much as I like you I could never believe it, why would a girl like you ever love a girl like me?"

"Are you fucking kidding? I feel like an idiot, Em. Waiting until the very last minute to finally get the balls to clue you in. I was just about to let go of the greatest thing that's ever happened to me because I couldn't fucking hack it telling you how I feel. I don't know why it took me this long, it shouldn't have taken this long. Baby, I think in hindsight I have loved you for so much longer than I ever allowed myself to believe."

And there it was, those words Emily has been waiting to hear. And she could actually believe it this time. Here she was, sitting opposite Hanna as this beautiful blonde pours her heart out for the first time ever and Emily really couldn't be happier.

I hope you enjoyed it! I will be continuing on from here too so don't fret! Please leave a review of what you thought and perhaps where you think I should go from here? All feedback is welcomed and I can't wait to see what you guys say! :) xo