A/N: Hi, I'm going to leave this here in hopes that the fluff will please you enough to ignore the other fics I'm neglecting. Classes have started. I am dying. Have my soul.

"Did it hurt?" Erika Heartfilia asked, staring at her best friend's ear in awe.

Natajya Dreyer shivered, flipping her vibrant red hair out of her eyes. "It was a pain like no other, Erika, I swear."

Violet eyes stared at the diamond studs warily. She could hear the amount of pain her friend had gone through via her underdeveloped Soul Reading Magic, and once again wondered why people subjected themselves to such torment. Did that mean everybody had secret masochistic tendencies? There was no other explanation for it. Then again, people often did downright horrific things to themselves for the sake of beauty. Corsets were the first thing that came to mind.

"She's only complainin' because she's a girl," Igneel 'Iggy' Dragneel sneered as he dropped from the rafters to their table. His messy pink hair covered half his mischievous brown eyes, and he peered at them both through his bangs. "I would've been fine."

"Iggy, do you forget the absolute fit you threw when you got your Guild Tattoo?" Silver Fullbuster slid into the conversation smoothly, nodding politely at the two girls before continuing to address his cousin. "You spent about an hour howling about the unholy burn before you calmed down."

"Oh, shut the fuck up, Tarnished Spoon," Iggy scowled. "That is a whole other ballgame. Dad thought it would be funny to prank me into thinking it would burn on!"

"I must agree with Natajya, Erika," Silver flicked his sole piercing. The little cross swung like a pendulum, catching the light and sparkling. "It hurt terribly to get this. My ear was red and sore for days after."

The ten year old swallowed thickly, shooting her pretty blonde mother a glance. "Mama thinks I should get one, but it sounds so scary! I don't want to!"

"So tell her! I'm sure she'll understand!" Natajya pressed, sincerity in her blue eyes. Erika bit her lip nervously, nibbling on the chapped skin with her little fangs, until one part started to bleed. "I don't know...I mean, all the girls have them, even some of the guys! I feel like I'm missing out on something big if I don't..."

"A rite of passage, perhaps?" Silver suggested.

"Yeah," Erika said. Iggy snorted, bopping her head lightly with his fist. "Can it, Ericherry. If you're too baby to get it, it's fine. Cobalt Redfox has enough going for him to cover for you."

The petite girl puffed her cheeks angrily, giving him the glare she had inherited from her father, according to her mother. True to form, Iggy backed up quickly, muttering about the psychotic women in his life. Her glare lessened as she turned to stare at the table.

She was always missing out on the latest fads or trends. Lucy had told her it was probably because she was exactly like her father, too focused on learning more to bother with what was new or relevant. Sure, she had Natajya to fill her in on what was out there now, but it felt...wrong not knowing first. Especially given her magic, which let her know everything on everybody's mind. Despite her desire to fit in and be normal, the idea of being in blinding pain for a little bit of metal in her ear was not appealing in the least.

"It's alright if you don't get a piercing now, Erika," Silver smiled comfortingly. "You can always get it later."

"Yeah!" Natajya cheered. "You can get yours done when I get my second one! Or when I get my cartilage ones..."

Erika jolted up, hissing, "You mean you...you want to do it again?"

The red head blinked. "Yeah. I mean, it looks awesome, have you seen Uncle Gajeel? Or Cobalt?"

Erika hummed noncommittally, lost in thought. It was such a Natajya thing to do, to dive right back in after escaping the sharks lair. Where she couldn't bring herself to get basic lobe piercings, here was her best friend going for a second, and even third! The maroon haired girl had always preferred to stay far away from big shows of bravery, but just this once, she wished she shared her courage.

"Rattlesnake, what kind of greeting is this?" a familiar voice had her jumping out of her seat and whipping around to face the Guild doors. When her violet eyes locked with one identical to hers, she squealed and scrambled away from the bench, clearing the distance in record time.

Erika crashed into the warm, hard planes of her father's chest, wrapping her arms around his neck tightly. Two powerful arms encased her tiny frame, supporting her as her feet dangled off the ground. She burrowed her face into a dark neck, inhaling the oh-so-comforting scent of the forest and the warm tropics. "Daddy! You're back!"

Cobra chuckled, pressing his lips into his daughter's hair. "That I am. You took a while to notice."

Erika peeked over Cobra's broad shoulder, smiling sheepishly as she saw her Aunt Sorano already lecturing her husband as she stared at her son's piercing in horror. Uncle Gray laughed weakly, trying (and failing) to calm his raging wife, and Silver merely held his mother securely round her waist.

"Sorry, daddy," she apologized, smiling up at him brightly. "I was thinking too hard again."

"I hear that," he quirked his eyebrow. "Just like your mother, you are."

"Is that supposed to be an insult, dear?" Lucy strode forward confidently, a coy smile playing on her lips. Cobra shifted his grip on Erika so one of his arms was free. "Of course not. I can proudly say the two smartest, prettiest girls in town are mine."

"Nice save," Lucy rolled her eyes.

Cobra snorted. "Shut up and get over here, Bright Eyes."

Lucy wasted no time in latching onto her mate, burying her face in the shoulder opposite Erika. The girl couldn't help but coo internally as she saw the affection in her father's gaze as he stared down at the top of her mother's blonde head. Try as he might to hide it, it was no secret that Erik Heartfilia was the biggest sap in the universe when it came to his family.

"Watch it, brat," he grumbled, pinching her side lightly. "I'm not a sap."

"Lies," Lucy deadpanned, pulling back. "Weren't you the one who sang Back-" Whatever she had to say was cut off by Cobra sweeping down to claim her lips. Erika gagged, squeezing her eyes shut. PDA was honestly the nastiest thing ever in her mind, and to see her parents playing tonsil hockey was just...ugh.

"Tonsil hockey?" Cobra inquired, staring at her in confusion. "Where on Earthland are you picking up these terms from?"

"Iggy," Erika immediately pointed the boy out. "He said he'd be the only person willing to play tonsil hockey with someone who breathes poison like me."

A fierce scowl took over the Poison Dragon Slayer's face, and the Dragneel offspring squeaked in terror, ducking behind his father. Natsu only saw the 'fight look' on Cobra's face, and brightened. "Up for a fight?"

"Fuck no," Cobra snapped, moving towards the bar counter. "Demon! Quit making googly eyes with other demon and get me some chlorine!"

Mira blushed, hurrying off to the kitchens and leaving a flustered Freed behind. Cobra dropped into one of the seats, adjusting Erika in his lap and pulling the next stool closer for Lucy.

"I got a little surprise for you," Cobra smirked down at the girl. "You have to figure it out before you get it."

Erika perked up, concentrating her meager magic towards her Soul Reading abilities. She winced as the floodgate she had erected to try and muffle the Guild noise burst, allowing everybody's innermost thoughts to be heard. This was the hardest part. Picking out one soul from amongst hundreds. Her father did it with such ease, and he never even had anybody to help him like she did.

"Hey," Cobra admonished. "It took years for me to get this far, you've only just started. Now remember what I said, it's easier to focus on your mum and I because of the Soul Links we all share. Find it and focus."

She bobbed her maroon head in renewed concentration, finding the chain that tied her to her father easily. Grabbing onto it, she tuned out the other unnecessary noises and followed the link to his soul, which hummed warmly as it allowed her to pass.

Erika gasped in delight, clapping her hands. "No way! Jequirity?"

"A whole pack, all for you," Cobra ruffled her hair. Pride shone in his eye. "Nice job, Rattlesnake."

"She is so you," Lucy giggled. Cobra shot her a sly look. "Don't think I forgot about you, Bright Eyes. Your gift comes much later..."

"Oh, gross," Erika complained, "Talk about that nasty stuff when I'm out of range!"

"It's just sex," Natajya mumbled as she passed by, "You think you have it bad? Gramps is always talking to pops about it. I think he's forgotten that I have superior hearing..."

"Look!" Cobalt Redfox stood atop the bar counter, pointing to his eyebrow proudly. "I got my first eyebrow piercing!"

"How many does that make, big bro?" Portia Redfox asked.

"Fifteen," Cobalt grinned. "More than Iggy has."

"Oh, shut the fuck up!" Iggy roared. Yukino gasped scandalously. "Igneel Tora Aguria Dragneel!"

Erika watched with blank eyes as all hell was let loose on the children. As Yukino scolded her son, and Levy screeched at Gajeel for allowing their son to get another one so soon, Erika couldn't help but feel something akin to jealousy burn within her. Nobody ever thought to include her in any of their competitions, but she couldn't fault them. It wasn't like she ever actually did anything that qualified her to compete. She just wished she could get her ears pierced so she would fit in already, but the pain was not worth it.

"Erika," the fact that Cobra used her name was cause enough to have her looking down in embarrassment. She forgot he never blocked his magic and could hear her.

"Look at me," he commanded. Her eyes stung as she stared at his face. Of all the shame in the world, it would be telling her father she was too scared to get her ears pierced like all the other kids.

"There's nothing wrong with being scared," he said softly. "And there's nothing wrong with wanting to fit in. You don't need piercings."

"I do," she insisted. "I really, really do! I want them, but everybody says they hurt to get and...it sounds scary. They use guns!"

"True," Cobra agreed. "But it's a one time thing. Just one poke, and it's done."

Erika pressed her face into the lapels of her father's coat, shaking her head. "I'm still scared..."

"How about this? You get your ears pierced, and daddy will too."

Mira dropped the chlorine in her hands and cooed, hearts in her eyes. Now that all of her ships had set sail, her only duty in life until the next generation grew old enough to ship, was to witness as many parent-child moments as possible. Cobra was by far the hardest to see, private man he was.

"R-really?" Erika breathed. "You'd do that?"

"Of course," he smiled minutely. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Then let's do it now!"

"Are you sure this is safe?" Gajeel Redfox rolled his ruby eyes yet again.

"For the fifth goddamn time, munchkin, it's perfectly safe!"

"Oi," Cobra growled. "Don't take that tone with her, Pincushion. She's playing it safe."

"I gave my kid fifteen fuckin' piercings, I can give your brat one pair quite safely," the Iron Slayer hissed. His beefy hands morphed into a piercing gun, wickedly sharp and so odd looking that Erika had to do a double take. Even after knowing him a decade, it was amazing what Uncle Gajeel could do with his magic.

"I can do a lot more than he can," Cobra muttered petulantly.

"On the count of three?" the cool metal was brought to her ear, and she flinched back. Her heart pounded furiously in her chest, so loud it wouldn't take a dragon's ears to hear it. She couldn't help but go through the memories of her friend's pain, and their anecdotes. Just...just how bad would it hurt? What if she screamed and startled Uncle Gajeel and caused a bloody mess of her ears? Or if the site got infected?

"None of that will happen, Rattlesnake," Cobra soothed. "I'll get it done first, if it makes you feel better."

"Please," Erika whispered, throwing her dad a grateful stare. Gajeel shrugged and brought the implement to Cobra's ear. "I take it diamonds are a big no?"

Cobra held a palm out to Gajeel. Erika stretched in her seat to get a look, but the object was too small to be seen. Gajeel raised a studded eyebrow. "Seriously?"

"Just do it," Cobra huffed. The Iron Dragon Slayer shrugged, sliding whatever they were into a small compartment, and then placed Cobra's lobe in between a base and a pointy needle. "In three, two, one."

Erika observed in shock as her father sat silently and unflinchingly through the whole process. Through her magic, she was able to hear how little he felt of it. How painless it was for him. Then again, she reasoned, he probably had a higher threshold for pain than she did.

"Your turn, munchkin!" Gajeel wheeled on her.

"Come here," Cobra waved her over, pulling her into his lap and winding his arms around her waist. "Close your eyes, and if it hurts, squeeze my hands."

Erika gave her assent, exhaling shakily. She could do this. She could totally do this. If her daddy could do this, so could she, because she was the next Poison Dragon Slayer, and Slayers did not cry over earrings.

"That's my girl," her father said. "Alright, Prince Albert, do it."

"You swore you'd never mention that," Gajeel snarled. "One time, man, one time."

"Levy definitely didn't mind," Cobra snickered.

"Prince Albert is the reason Cobalt exists, just so you know," Erika felt her uncle tug at her ear, and her heart picked up in response. She cursed her body for betraying her fear. She was supposed to be brave, dammit! Callused hands covered hers, squeezing gently and easing her trepidation slightly. Her father was here. Nothing would happen if he was around.

"Damn straight," he murmured, just for her ears.

Erika felt the first brush of the needle against her ear and whimpered slightly. It was now or never. She could do this. She would do this. She would do this, and then rub it in Iggy's stupid face-

"Ow!" she screamed, jerked back as waves of pain and heat radiated from her lobe. Good God, this hurt. This was beyond what Natajya had shown her in her memories, this was what true hell felt like. Erika blinked back her tears, just as her father spoke up.

"Gajeel, maybe we should wait a while for the next ear..." it was odd to hear such nervousness come from Dokuryuu no Cobra. So odd it was downright terrifying.

"Fuck no," the young girl could hear the grin in her uncle's voice. "Ready or not!"

Erika dug her stubby nails into Cobra's hands, grateful for his reassuring grip. If he squeezed enough to make it hurt, then maybe she would be distracted enough to-

"Ow!" she wailed again. The pain was worse this time, probably because she knew what to expect, which made no sense. Wouldn't knowing beforehand make it less painful? Then again, Natajya's memories had done little to help prepare her.

"Done! Open those pretty purple's, kiddo, you live to see another day."

The younger of the Poison Slayers opened her eyes and was met with a mirror. She saw puffy purple eyes staring back at her, and caramel coloured skin streaked with tears. Pulling her maroon hair out of her face, her breath caught in her throat as she finally saw them.

A beautiful ruby set of studs sat in her lobes, surrounded by inflamed skin which would settle in a few hours. A grin threatened to break out on her face. She finally did it. She finally got earrings.

"Wasn't that bad, was it?" Cobra's face joined hers in the reflection. Erika twisted her heard around. "Lemme see yours!"

Her small fingers slipped between the gap of the earring and his skin as she traced the golden hoops. The metal had a few small dents here and there, but they were pretty nonetheless.

"Why hoops, daddy?" Erika inquired. Cobra barked a laugh, exchanging an amused glance with Gajeel. "You'll find out at the Guild, Rattlesnake. Come on."

"Here comes my princess!" Lucy was snapping a thousand and one pictures as Erika entered the hall. Beside her, Uncle Mest caught the edge of her stool before she toppled over, and Erika could hear him, once again, questioning his decision to rejoin the Fairies. Whatever that meant.

"Rubies!" Natajya gasped. "Oh, they're so pretty!"

"Next time," Flare told her daughter. Laxus gave his wife a confused stare. "Next time? How many more can she get?"

"Rubies mean fire..." Iggy began slowly, a sneaky grin playing on his lips. "And fire is me! You like me!"

"You're a Celestial Spirit Mage, moron," Silver muttered.

"Oh, my precious baby," Lucy cooed, dropping down and pinching her cheeks. "You got your first piercing! Oh, I remember mine, it was awful. Poor Mrs Spetto had to tie me down to a chair and my mama was bawling just as hard as I was. I didn't eat for three days, I was so upset and hurt."

"That seems a little extra, mama," Erika's words slurred. Lucy finally let go with a sigh. "I know. Aquarius called me a baby and tried to pierce my cartilage a week later, so I feel vindicated."

"Don't pinch my cheeks, you crazy devil woman," Cobra stepped up. Erika shuffled off to the side, eager to witness the moment her dad had mentioned before. Why would hoops have such an effect-?

"Oh my God!" Lucy shrieked, pointing at his ears. "You did not!"

"I did," he bared his teeth in a grin. Erika watched as her mother's pale features flushed bright red, and just this once, willingly tapped into her magic.

Oh my God, oh my sweet baby Jesus, the hoops...oh, that sneaky bastard knows exactly how I feel about them! During Nirvana they made him seem so...dashing. So dark. God they were such turn ons, I was a mess for months after! I hope Laxus can hold onto Erika tonight, because there is no way I'm not riding his ass blind tonight-

"Uncle Laxus?" Erika teetered off to the blond Guild Master as her mother continued to go absolutely crazy over the golden hoops. "Can I stay with you tonight?"

"You know you don't need to ask," Laxus furrowed his brows as he glanced at the rather pale features of his goddaughter. "But why?"

"I have a feeling those hoops are going to get me a new sibling..."

At this point, Laxus could hear Cobra whispering into Lucy's ear, and he blanched. It was one thing to know his sister was sexually active, but it was another to hear his brother-in-law talking about it so brazenly in the open.

"You're staying over for the week."

A/N: don't even lie, Cobra with earrings was the hottest thing ever. But Cobra getting earrings with his little girl WAS TOO CUTE TO DENY AJDIEK. Not my best work, to be honest, but I feel the need to let you all know I'm alive and not ignoring you.

-Touko