Tsuna remembers a certain period of time where he would find lettuce on his pillow. It was confusing, to say the least. Sometimes, he would even find carrots and corn in a small dish. Tsuna was pretty sure it wasn't a robber or a bully unless their ultimate goal was to confuse him horribly. If it was, they succeeded.

One day, he worked up the courage to ask Miyu for help. "Hibari-san," Tsuna asked, carefully holding the food in question. "What is this?"

Miyu blinked at him. "Lettuce. And I told you to call me Miyu, you silly little thing!"

"Well, I know that! But why do I get this kind of stuff every night! I'm getting tired of getting lettuce in my hair every time I try to sleep!"

"Why don't you ask Kyou-chan?" Miyu said airily. "I'm sure he knows what's going on. He's reliable like that!"

So he did.

Kyouya stared at Tsuna unnervingly. "That's food."

"Y-yes," Tsuna agreed.

"Bunnies need nutrition to survive."

"Yes..?" Exactly when did rabbits enter the equation? Was Kyouya, in his own antisocial way, trying to tell him that he wanted one? Because if so, Tsuna had no problem with it. Except if it tried using his bed as its personal litter box. Then there was a problem.

He was snapped out of his thoughts when Kyouya's stare intensified even further (he didn't even know that was possible!). "You are a bunny. Therefore, you need to be taken care of," Kyouya said slowly, as if educating a very simple creature.

Tsuna gave him a flat look. "I'm human." All that accomplished was Kyouya looking at him like he was crazy. Which he wasn't. Tsuna was the sanest person he knew.

...That was pretty sad once you thought about it.

"U-um, could you stop glaring at me?"

Kyouya snorted dismissively. Tsuna took that as a cue to leave and walked out the door.

XXXXXXXXXX

It turns out that not even Tsuna can avoid school forever. Which is why Gokudera is currently in his room pointing to a whiteboard (generated from hammerspace) filled with complicated equations and colorful graphs. Tsuna buries his face into his hands, emitting a small shriek of pain. It felt like his brain was exploding into tiny pieces as Gokudera rambles on about science-y things he can never hope to understand. "H-Hayato-san?" he says into his arms.

"Did you say something?"

"This material is, um, a little too-"

"Is it too easy? As expected of Tsuna-sama, you excel in everything!" ...Does this guy live under a rock? Doesn't he know I used to be called Dame-Tsuna?

"Actually, I can't even understand what you're saying," Tsuna confesses bluntly.

Gokudera looks like an arrow pierced his heart and collapses dramatically to the ground. "A-am I not good enough for you?" he cries, clutching his chest.

"Don't say it like that!" he says panickedly. It sounds like some type of soap opera! "You're a perfectly fine tutor! I'm just not that smart, that's all!"

The silver-haired teenager looks up at him through wet eyelashes. Tsuna regards him carefully, praying that he wouldn't burst into tears or something. Because that would be awkward. He decides to blurt out the excuse of "going to restock on cookies, I'll be right back!" and rushes out the door like there was fire licking at his heels.

"Tsuna-sama!"

XXXXXXXXXX

Tsuna knows that babies can't usually talk or shoot guns with pinpoint accuracy, much less saying regularly that they're the best hitman in the world. He wonders who Reborn's mother is and exactly how irresponsible she is to let her son run around spouting things about the underworld.

Then again, the thought of Reborn having a mother is terrifying. Tsuna shivers.

Anyways, Tsuna doesn't think that Reborn is normal, considering how his intuition blares like a siren every time the baby plops down on his hair. Which is getting seriously annoying. But he doesn't say anything; he doesn't want a bullet put through his head because Tsuna knows that the threat isn't a joke.

Maybe Reborn's an adult cursed to look like a baby?

Tsuna laughs at his imagination. As if such a thing was possible.

A/N: I was digging through my old files and found this, so here you go! /throws confetti everywhere.
It's pretty cringey as I wrote it a pretty long time ago, but maybe some people will like it. Who knows.