I'd like you, dear reader who skipped to this latest chapter, to take your time and reread the past chapters. I know I've been gone for so long and that my absence is absolutely unforgivable, but whoever decided to come back after like what, 2 months? 5? You guys are amazing and I hope you'll continue to support this fanfic. It's still stupid, but you know what I mean.

Enjoy :)

~\Chapter 6/~

~**Maybe I'm Mad**~

\******/

"Say something."

Lucy didn't reply. Carol frowned at this.

"Hey."

"…"

He watched as she kept her back to him, arranging a couple items from her luggage into the comfort of the guild's guest room. Carol scratched the back of his neck, hugging the sleeping Shoyuu on his lap with a bit of frustration.

Once more, he spoke, "Lucy, are you alright?"

Her hands paused from folding her clothes, and she slightly moved her face towards her shoulder. "…I'm sleepy." She said, in a clear, not tired voice, Carol thought. She went back to work. He looked down at Shoyuu, who shifted in her position, then sighing as he looked back up at the blonde's back.

"Look, if it's my fault you're acting that way then I'm so—"

"Stop." Lucy raised a hand, then suddenly she turned around, and Carol could see fire in her eyes. "Don't. say that. It's not your fault, it's no one's fault. I made the decision to stay and I don't regret it one bit so shut your mouth and never, ever, say it's your fault and never ever apologize." She pointed at him, emphasizing at each point before walking towards the other side of the room to open a pillow cabinet. "I, we need help and you've got it. And for that to happen we have to stay. I blame no one. It's what…" she inhaled, "it's what's right."

Carol frowned as she walked towards her bed. "Wrong."

She stopped. "What?"

"You blame someone." He said, lowering the tone of his voice as to not wake the sleeping child. "You can't fool me."

"I'm not blaming anyone."

"You are."

"Look Carol just quit it okay?" Lucy said calmly, but Carol sensed her irritation. "I don't blame anyone. I don't blame you or Shoyuu or him, heck I don't even—"

"'Him'…" Carol repeated, Lucy froze.

Bull's eye.

"I—um, I," Lucy stammered, "I meant Makarov." Carol raised a brow. "Don't look at me like that. I'm serious." She walked towards him, carried Shoyuu off his lap and laid her down in bed. "I-I could have blamed him for all this, I don't know I just, I felt like I could have. Anyway it doesn't matter, I don't blame anyone and Carol," She glanced at him, then back at Shoyuu, "this conversation ends. Now."

He gave her the most skeptical look he could pull and rolled his eyes. Something was up, he just knew it, but he decided not to push through. Then he stood up, "Can I lay down next to her?"

"Sure, I'll just go and wash my face." Carol nodded and hopped on the bed next to the snoring kid, closing his eyes as to try and sleep himself.

Lucy watched from behind the bathroom door as Carol started snoring himself and sighed in relief, silently coming out. The sun rays the window welcomed in were slowly dimming. An idea sprung into her head. She grabbed a blanket and draped it over the two sleepyheads, then she grabbed the notebook she placed on her nightstand and jumped out the window.

Her feet landed on a tree branch and she flailed her arms, trying to balance herself. She placed her hand against the tree trunk and looked up, seeing the window she just dropped from. Nodding, she confirmed the possibility of her being able to jump back. She turned around and started climbing up, pulling on hard branches and twigs, until finally she reached the top.

Standing on the leaves, she breathed in and sighed, loving the feeling of the breeze brushing past her. The sunset was nearly over and she pouted, but was glad that she didn't miss all of its beauty. After it completely went down and the sky was dimming down to a darker shade of sky blue, Lucy flopped down on the green leaves. She pulled out her notebook and started writing.

Today's story was all about a lost princess.

Lucy, albeit tired from the day's events, smiled slightly with each stroke of her pen. The fact that she found another high place to write in made her relax. It was a recent habit of hers, that if she went somewhere high, that every little thing below her would turn to imagination, that every building that stood tall before her would become inferior and the people walking underneath will look like dots, periods, the punctuation at the end of each of every sentence. They give Lucy the motivation to finish what she started and make her feel as if every little corner was at her visual.

Being on top of the world erased all her problems for a while.

As the sky started getting darker Lucy just hoped that there would be stars tonight.

"Seems like it's getting dark…"

Her breath hitched.

"Woah, sorry there miss. Um," Brown eyes met onyx, and Lucy sat still. Natsu scratched his head, standing on the other side of the pile of bushes. "Blaire, was it?"

"I didn't expect you to remember…" Lucy murmured, looking dazed as the stare-down between her and the man lasted for a few seconds before she shook her head, then resumed writing, "Anyway," she coughed, "don't mind me, it'll get dark soon so you won't see me anyway."

"What makes you think that I don't want to see you?"

She paused.

"Um…"

"Wait, sorry, I didn't mean it like that it's just," he struggled for words to say. As he did so, Lucy watched from her peripheral vision as he proceeded to sit down. Subconsciously, she wished that whatever branch he was currently sitting on would break and he'd fall and—no Lucy, stop that. "It's just…"

"Just, what?" She scoffed. "That blue cat got your tongue?"

"His name's Happy, miss." I know, Lucy thought, of course that's his name. I envy him. "I'm sorry if I'm making you annoyed, but you can't just go and be so ru…ru…"

"Rude?"

"Well, yeah."

Lucy rolled her eyes discretely. "Huh, alright. I'm sorry for being so impolite, sir."

"Natsu."

"And it's Blaire." She looked up at him and gave a fake smile, "Thank you for understanding."

He ran a hand through his hair and looked away. Lucy sighed. "So what was it you were going to tell me?"

"I forgot."

"Tch. Dumbass."

"Are you trying to pick a fight?" He questioned, annoyance visible on his face. Lucy shrugged, ignoring him.

"I don't know, am I?"

"Sure as hell looks like it." Natsu plucked a leaf from beside him and pointed it at her. "Do you have some sort of problem with me?"

The blonde flipped a page, "Is that all you wish to ask me?" Before he could answer she spoke, "Well, I don't have a problem with you. Maybe. Maybe I do maybe I don't, but I guess that's the problem with maybes' huh? It hints at two sides but we'll never really know." She glanced at him, "you'll never really know."

Natsu observed as her brown eyes met his and left to her notebook, searching for an answer. His hands were gripping on the poor leaf, because deep down he was frustrated and confused and at that moment he just really wanted to know the truth. She was lying and he knew that, somehow. At least, he felt she was, and this one of those rare times that his gut spoke to him. And he never hesitated in trying to find something out but this time was different.

She was like untouched waters that could drown you in an instant.

But he was sure he crossed this ocean before.

"You know, Lucy liked writing too."

Lucy flipped another page. "Oh really?" She twirled her pen a few times, touching the tip to see if it could still write. "Well why oh why am I not surprised."

"Hey—"

"Oh sure I look like her act like her, write like her. Yeah, I get that a lot." The pen smeared a bit of ink on her fingers, "In our guild it's Lucy Heartfilia and Blaire Frinter, the single duo. Don't get them too close to each other or they'll merge into one!" Lucy waved her inked hands around, as if she was annoyed. She sighed out in an attempt to sound convincing, and by the way Natsu was looking at her she assumed it was working. "I wasn't perfect, Lucy wasn't either. But it worked out well for her because she was able to push through despite all the things she has gone through in the past. She cried, every night until her alarm buzzed but the moment she stepped into sunlight she was more than happy and most certainly didn't need anything. No regrets and no more tears left to shed. And she was glad even, because she forgot about that one person who made all her troubles happen, eventually."

Lucy couldn't feel the cold air that had been nipping at her skin. Her fists were gently crumpling into fists, but her face kept calm as she and Natsu, once again, stared at each other. The confused man's eyes squinted at the intensity of the blonde's brown pupils. She was frowning, he was staring, and Natsu wasn't even sure anymore.

But somehow, he felt like he was punched.

"Lucy was an amazing person, and if I were to be honest, I don't think anyone can ever feel the way she felt. So don't go saying that we're the same and shit because I've had enough of that."

"…"

She coughed and broke their eye contact, looking back down at her notebook. "Ehem, uh, pardon my language…"

"You do."

Lucy flinched a bit. "What?"

"You look exactly like her." His eyes looked at her, but looked away as soon as it did. "You talk like her, sound like her, talk act and know how to fake a smile like she does." Lucy's eyes widened at him. "You're wrong, she isn't, I mean, wasn't just amazing. She was beautiful and hard-working and kind, she never left anyone behind. She took care of her guild when they didn't know how to take care of themselves and she…she just never left them behind until…" he trailed off and everything was silent for a moment until he spoke once again, hesitating if he should have but did anyway, "She looked after everyone and loved all her friends." He faced her, locking eyes with her for the umpteenth time and spoke.

"She loved me."

Lucy couldn't dare move, because she was afraid that she would break and everything around her would fall apart. Natsu let go of the crushed leaf and stood up, scratching the back of his neck. His eyes stared down at the leaves below him, blank and empty and Lucy couldn't move still.

Those eyes scared her.

"I wish I got to say goodbye, at least." He sent a smile her way. "She left a little early though didn't she?"

The blonde looked away.

"Well…anyway, I just came here in the first place to call you since, Mirajane prepared free meals for you and your brother…and your daughter too. Oh and speaking of her…never mind."

"You want your scarf back right?" She murmured, poking a leaf beside her. Natsu shrugged, although she couldn't see. He gave one last glance her way before jumping down.

"…"

…

"…."

Don't do it Lucy.

"…hic…"

Don't. you. dare.

"…w-what—hic!"

Fuck.

FUCK.

She couldn't take it any longer.

Lucy stood up and kicked at the leaves with great fury.

"That son of a bitch!" She kicked repeatedly at a hard branch that stuck out of the middle of the pile, her face red with anger. The scowl spread from her eyebrows to her swollen eyes to her trembling mouth, as she swore, "How fucking dare he. How fucking dare he."

He can't just do that, she thought furiously. He can't just say those things like the arrogant, insensitive and selfish bastard he is. How fucking dare say those things like he knows me, owns me.

She gave the branch a hard kick and the tree swayed a little.

How dare he say those things like he loved me.

Lucy laughed, seeing the statement as nothing but a joke. Her pants mixed in and she sounded like someone who desperately needed air. Maybe she did need it, because she fell to her knees and all she seemed to be doing was exhaling out every swear word she knew.

She was nowhere near calming down when she realized her pen and notebook was missing. Her anger got slightly mixed with panic as she searched through the pile of leaves. After no sight of it on the surface she climbed down on one branch, and found it hanging off the branch she landed on when she jumped out of the room's window. She sighed in relief, even when realizing her pen was the lost one. But it had no more ink anyway.

She climbed back up and flopped on the leaves once again, trying to regain her breathing. After rolling around a few times and a few inhale-exhale exercises, she sat up, and once again, sighed. Her wet cheeks felt cold as the breeze brushed past them and Lucy looked down at her hands which were covered in ink. Then she realized that the sky was already as dark as the shade of blue on her fingers.

She laid back and brought her hands up to her face, wiping away leftover tears, not caring if the ink on her hands would smear into them. She tried breathing once again, just to make sure that she was done and that it was over.

Her eyes closed for a moment, resting, then when they opened up she started looking for stars in the night sky to help calm down her erratic heart.

But tonight, there weren't any.

Notes1: This is actually split in 3 parts since I wrote it long originally. The other two chappies will be out maybe tomorrow or the next day. Depends on how less tired I am.

Notes2: I know this chapter is pretty…weird. It's an indirect confrontation between our two protagonists and believe me it was pretty hard to write. I mean, before writing it I could barely imagine how it would look if they were both right next to each other and talking. I didn't want it to be like most fanfics where, you know…Lucy brags about power and Natsu picks a fight then they fight just so the auther could show off what powers they gave Lucy. I kind of hinted at that actually, but to me if that scene were to actually take place in the actual anime then it would have been as how I've portrayed it.

Notes3: I love pandas :3 Have a great day!

-K-