Notes: Well, this is it. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and reviewing. It means a lot to get those little notes of encouragement and to see the view counter increase, telling me people are still reading. Hope you enjoyed it, and now I need to go check the box that says 'complete'.

Late night walks had always brought Kathryn a sense of comfort, setting a pace and stride, covering distance while she let her mind wander. She'd worn a path into the ground at the penitentiary, and the decks of Voyager were quickly becoming well-mapped in her mind. Unfortunately, her stroll this evening had done nothing to calm her thoughts. Or more accurately, one particular thought that kept resurfacing and wouldn't let her rest.

It was that thought that had brought her to deck three. She stood staring at the doors to the captain's quarters. It was late; she shouldn't bother him. Her hand rang for entrance.

His reply was almost immediate. "Enter." Chakotay was seated on the couch, a PADD held loosely in his hand. He got to his feet at the sight of her. "Commander, is everything all right?"

She shouldn't be here; she gestured towards the interior of his quarters. "May I?"

"Of course." He indicated the replicator. "Can I get you anything?"

Kathryn shook her head. She remained standing as close to the doors as she could without triggering them to reopen. Her hands were balled into fists at her side.

Chakotay waited, a hint of amusement betraying him as he watched her stand there. He checked the time on the antique clock he had on the book shelf. It was past midnight. He rubbed the back of his neck. "I was just read-"

"Is it true?" she blurted.

He froze and tried to recall anything that would give him a clue as to what she was referring to. He had nothing and he slowly dropped his hand back to his side. "Is what true?"

She felt the heat of blood rushing into her cheeks. "Nothing. Never mind. I'm sorry I bothered you."

"Kathryn, wait!" He had to rush forward to catch her arm before she could leave. He laughed, trying to set her mind at ease. "You want to tell me what this is all about? I'm not a mind reader, you know."

"It's nothing," she said quickly, moving away from both him and the door. "It's none of my business, and I shouldn't have come here."

"Well, you haven't bothered me. My door is always open so you should definitely come here," he said. "And until you ask me something, I'll have no idea if it's any of your business or not."

She stared at him. His completely relaxed posture as he leaned against his desk was in direct contrast to hers. It wasn't fair. "Seska said the two of you were lovers."

It was clear by the expression on his face that her statement had not been anything close to what he'd been expecting her to say. He blinked several times. "I see."

Kathryn waited for him to say more. He didn't. "That's not exactly a denial, Chakotay."

He shifted his weight and wouldn't look at her. "Well, I never would have classified us as 'lovers.'"

If he'd been looking at her, he would've seen her flinch at the admission.

"I mean, we never even made it to a bed," he continued, oblivious to her reaction. "It was more of a release than anything. She found me one time in the cargo bay after a pretty intense battle that we barely escaped, and we ended up against a bulkhead. There were a few other times-"

"Please, stop." Kathryn held up a hand and then balled it into a fist when she realized she was shaking. The truth hurt, more than she wanted to admit, and more than she expected. She kept her fist in front of her mouth. "You said before that you didn't know her, that she'd only been with the Maquis for a short while before you left."

Her plea had recaptured his full attention. "It's true, and clearly, I didn't know her very well at all."

"And yet you did that with her."

He opened his mouth, hesitated, and then asked, "What's this all about, Kathryn?"

She paced back and forth a few steps. She was already here; she was committed. "I was with the Maquis for years, Chakotay." He nodded and she tried to find the right words. "Seska seemed genuinely surprised when I told her that we hadn't…that you and I…weren't lovers."

"Ah. Well, when we rescued you, it was after you'd been in a Cardassian prison for eight years," he said, sounding uncomfortable for the first time. "I didn't think you'd be interested in that sort of activity."

"Well, no, I wasn't," she admitted hastily. "At least, not for a while."

"And by the time you might have been interested," he continued, "it had been long enough that I'd gotten to know you."

If the evening became any more truthful, she thought she'd throw up. He'd gotten to know her and didn't want her. She nodded tightly. "I understand. I'm sorry I brought it up. We'll just, uhm, call it a night then."

He blocked her path to the door before she could make an escape. "Kathryn, I could've never had a casual fling with you," he said quickly. "I'd gotten to know you, and getting involved with you would have committed my entire heart and soul. We weren't living in a world where I could afford to have that sort of distraction. It wouldn't have been fair to you; it wouldn't have been fair to our crew."

At some point while he'd been talking, he'd put his hand on her arm. She could feel the warmth of his grip through her sleeve. It made what she had to say even harder. "The Delta Quadrant isn't exactly a place where you can have distractions either."

"Well, not right now," he admitted, "but we just got here."

She didn't know what to say to that so she just nodded. Chakotay was grinning at her mute reaction. It wasn't often she had nothing to say, but as she watched him his grin faltered, morphing into a sweet but sad expression she didn't understand. "What is it?" she asked.

"You were one of the last things I spoke about with my father before…" he trailed off. They were both painfully aware of the events that happened next. He cleared his throat. "He could tell I was interested in you. He told me I was being contrary for fighting it. I tried to explain the situation to him, but he just brushed me off and said that you were acting stubborn too. He even suggested that we were clearly perfect for each other because neither of us would ever be willing to let the other go if we ever made a go of it."

Kathryn could easily imagine Kolopak grumbling those exact words. "Because we're both stubborn?"

"And contrary."

"Well," she said with a watery chuckle, "he wasn't wrong."

"No, I don't imagine he was," he agreed then sighed. "It just can't be right now."

"No, not right now," she agreed. It was time for her to go, but she knew that sleep would no longer be a problem. "Well, Captain, if you'll excuse me, I have the early shift in the morning."

"Of course." He stepped aside so she could move towards the door. "I'll see you on the bridge."

She paused at the threshold and looked up at him. "Good night, Chakotay."

"Good night, Kathryn."

She stepped out into the corridor and headed for the turbolift that would take her down to her deck and the quarters she'd been assigned. Her chaotic thoughts from earlier had drifted into a calm stream. She had two engineering proposals from B'Elanna that she needed to review in the morning, and the afternoon was going to be filled with security drills on the holodeck. Tom had also promised to help her prepare for the Bridge Officer's test as well as regaining her pilot certification.

As the turbolift moved smoothly between decks, she thought about the eight dark lines that spanned her forearm. They were covered by her uniform sleeve, but she knew they were there. It had been her choice to keep them. They were part of her past; a visual reminder, should she ever need it, that she was stronger than those that had tried to hurt her. But for the first time in a long time, Kathryn was thinking about something besides her past. She was focused on the future.

Voyager was a single ship, lost in the Delta quadrant. The stars they sailed through were unfamiliar, but she actually felt hopeful about their chances. After so many years, Kathryn Janeway finally felt like she was free.

The End

.