DISCLAIMER: Skip Beat! belongs to Yoshiki Nakamura. MonMusu belongs to Okayado.

A/N: I had a muse attack while FFN was down the other day, and this fic was born... The story will focus on Skip Beat characters in the MonMusu universe. Some of the SB characters' personal histories have been altered due to them being mon in this AU.

Any personality alterations can be attributed to the species traits of mon, or to this being a crackfic... that said, please don't take this too seriously, even if the first few chapters do slide more toward drama than humor.

~ Fields of Heaven ~

Ren and Yashiro made their way to the president's office, not suspecting anything particularly out of the ordinary. They assumed the meeting was probably just a new job offer for Ren.

When they entered the president's office, confetti rained down on them. The room was decorated with copious amounts of streamers and balloons.

"Congratulations, you two! You've both been approved as hosts for the Interspecies Exchange Homestay Program!" Lory announced happily.

Yashiro was the first to regain his wits enough to speak, although his response was not entirely coherent.

"We... what?"

"You're each going to be acting as the host family for a non-human," Lory explained. "I took the liberty of signing up all my employees to participate in the Interspecies Exchange Program."

"Without telling any of us?" Ren spoke up. "What if we don't want to-"

"Then you're fired," Lory replied, without waiting for Ren to finish the question.

The actor stared at him slack-jawed for a moment before protesting, "But-"

"Too late," the president interrupted him again. "Consider it part of your job."

"But why-"

"Because I said so!" Lory snapped, losing his temper a bit. "And Ren, your girl is an emergency placement who was kicked out by her previous host family, so I expect you to be nice to her."

Ren pouted at the implication, and grumbled, "I'm always nice."

During Ren and Lory's conversation, Agent Smith introduced herself to Yashiro and had him start filling out the homestay paperwork.

While he was surprised at the current turn of events, Yashiro was determined to make the best of the situation.

"Any questions?" Smith asked the bespectacled manager as he flipped through the the huge stack of forms.

"Just one," Yashiro replied. "What species is the person who will be staying with me?"

"Ah, you're lucky," she said with a smirk. "She's a lamia."

"Lamia... those are snake people, right? But why would having a lamia as my interspecies guest make me lucky?"

"There are no male lamias. They can only reproduce by mating with human males. And the Interspecies Relation Laws were recently altered so that humans and other species can intermarry, so if you and your girl get along... well." Smith clapped Yashiro on the shoulder. "Good luck!"

Since their apartments were 'not appropriate environments' for their new house-guests, Ren and Yashiro were both moved into a house that was owned by LME. It had formerly been used for filming a TV drama, but was not currently being used as part of any projects and had been remodeled to accommodate the needs of the non-humans who would be living there.

Yashiro was the first to arrive at their new home. Agent Smith brought him to the house to meet the girls while Ren was still arguing with Lory and trying to get out of being a homestay host.

He was surprised to be greeted at the door by a cute girl with huge red wings sprouting from her back. On second glance he noticed that her legs from the knee down were scaled like a bird's, ending in three-toed feet with huge black talons. The rest of her appeared entirely human, although her eyes were a curious shade of gold.

"Welcome home, Master!" she chirped cheerfully, dropping into a deep bow. The weight of her wings almost caused her to fall on her face when she bowed, and she quickly stood up straight again, blushing at her mistake.

"HEY!" shouted a surly voice form further inside the house, and Yashiro recoiled a bit as the owner of the voice slithered into sight. Long black hair hung down slightly past the point where her human waist connected to the huge cerulean-scaled snake tail. Even twisted in anger, her facial features were strikingly beautiful. "Your human isn't here yet!" she snapped, looming ominously over the tiny harpy girl. "This one is mine!"

She latched onto Yashiro possessively, wrapping him in her coils.

Smith-san had told him on their way here that lamias were notoriously possessive... but if his current position was anything to go by, that had been a massive understatement.

"Kanae-chan?" he said hesitantly.

"Oh, sorry," the lamia said, loosening her coils and settling her tail on the floor. "Was it too tight?"

"No, no," he rushed to reassure her. "I just... am... shy...?" he finished uncertainly.

The lamia snorted in response.

"You suck at lying, Yuki."

She's calling me by a nickname already, and with no honorifics... this all feels like it's happening too fast. And I'm sure things will only get more complicated once Ren gets here. I wonder if he'll manage to talk his way out of it... Wait! If Ren successfully talks his way out of being involved in the interspecies homestay, does that mean I'm going to be responsible for both of these girls? And speaking of both girls, where did that harpy go?

~to be continued~