The Space Between Us

Chapter 3

She calls at three minutes after nine that night. He's in his study alone, having walked the floor for over an hour, eaten something utterly bland and forgettable that he had to force down, before finally giving today up as a bad idea and shutting himself away to nurse his bruises.

That "what's the worst that can happen" question from the past few days is now playing out loudly and imaginatively on a loop inside his head, scenario after scenario, each one worse than the one before, all sharing the commonality that she leaves him or simply cuts him off before they've even begun because he broke the code. She asked him to wait, in a roundabout way, and he didn't listen. He broke that code and barged in anyway, demanding deeper access to a life that isn't his to invade.

"Hey," he says too loudly and a little too quickly when he answers her call halfway through the first ring.

"Wow! Think you might have set a new record there, Castle. We should change your nickname to Quick Draw McGraw."

He takes the light-hearted, teasing tone she's offering with two grateful hands, slightly weak at the knees, and he matches it. "So…I have a nickname already?"

"Maybe a couple," she says cagily.

"And they would be…?"

"It's really a Ryan and Esposito thing. You should ask them."

"I see. So you've never been tempted to use this—"

"No," she steps in quickly.

Castle clears his throat and takes a deep breath. "Look, I'm sorry about today, Beckett," he says sincerely, changing the subject to the topic he assumes she's calling to discuss.

Rip off the Band-Aid, Rick, he tells himself, getting up to walk around while they talk.

"You don't have to apologize. That's actually why I'm calling."

Castle's brain is so fried by a sudden surge of hope that he has no idea what she means and refuses to risk screwing this up again by guessing. So he remains silent in the hope that she'll elaborate or at least realize he's clueless and offer him a little pity.

"Castle? You still there?" she asks instead, mistaking his silence for a dropped line.

"Yeah." He coughs. "Uh…yeah, Beckett. Still here."

"I was saying you don't have anything to apologize for."

"That makes a change," he jokes, again, no idea where she's headed with this unless she gives him a little more of a steer.

"Yeah," she grins, her voice warm and friendly again. "Makes a change."

Castle is drowning in waves that alternate between hope and fear, a sinking feeling in his gut that is only neutralized by the fact that Kate is still on the phone and quite obviously not yelling at him. He attempts to glean more exposure to her thinking by apologizing again for good measure. "Still, I shouldn't have dragged you out of work like that. It was impulsive and juvenile. I hope I didn't get you in trouble with the boss."

"We were lucky. Boys did a good job of running interference for once. Gates had no idea I was even gone."

"Oh. Okay, good," he says, nails jammed into the palm of his free hand to force himself not to push her again, not to ask the questions that are back on the tip of his tongue.

If he thought about it clearly for a second he'd realize that he is now the one who's backsliding, the one who isn't saying what he means or asking for what he wants. But maybe he tried that and failed. Maybe it's Kate's turn to push for a change.

"You made a difference today, Castle."

To hear her admit this shocks him.

"I did?"

"Yeah, you…you kind of opened my eyes to a couple of things I'd lost sight of."

"What kind of things?"

"You gave this a lot of thought, didn't you? What you said today, I mean."

"Maybe," he shrugs, going for offhand, which doesn't really work, given the circumstances. Finally, he caves. "Okay, yes. A lot. I…I had arguments with myself, I had fake arguments with you. I even tried to imagine how you must have debated stuff with your parents but…"

"Wow!" She sounds impressed.

"Yeah, well, turns out the whole lawyerly thing isn't really me. I'm sorry. Structured, logical, dispassionate argument in things like this…" He shrugs even though Kate can't see him. "Not really my strong point. I'm more of a speak-from-the-heart kind of guy."

"I can see that."

He hears her smile and he smiles back, his voice warm and familiar. "Yeah."

Kate clears her throat this time. "And you were right, you know. About a lot of the things you said."

"Hold the phone. Did…did you just say I was right?"

"You heard me. Don't ruin the moment," she insists, following it up with a huff of helpless laughter.

"Fine. I'll be good," he says contritely, grinning.

There's a long, intimate pause before she asks, "Don't you want to know what you were right about?"

"I didn't want to embarrass you. But…yes, please," he asks eagerly.

"I've never just flat out asked for what I wanted…unless…with the job maybe or for other people. The way I was raised, you just endured, put others first. So…I'm not good at asking for anything, Castle. But I never forgot what I was waiting for, what I hoped we were both waiting for."

Castle sags with relief, honest words pouring out of his mouth and into the phone. "I wish you'd just talked to me, Kate. Said that…explained."

"I'm saying it now." She pauses, before adding, "If I'm not too late."

"Be clearer," he asks, sinking down onto the end of his bed.

"Can I come over? If it's too late I can—"

He stands again, suddenly, his voice earnest. "No. Come. Please."

"Okay then. I'll see you soon."

He doesn't want to hang up, but he does, if only to ensure she has two hands free with which to drive safely.

He's surprised when the buzzer sounds a mere handful of minutes later while he's in the bathroom brushing his teeth and combing his hair. He's even more surprised when the person at the door is Kate, her hair in a youthful ponytail and with a sheepish smile on her face. She's dressed all in pale grey cotton: leggings, a softly draped t-shirt with a long matching cardigan on top. Her feet are bare inside black ballet flats and she has a tan leather bucket bag slung over one shoulder. She looks comfortable but stylish, and Castle now feels less than elegant in his loose lounge pants, bare feet and a faded black t-shirt.

"Surprise!" she offers, bashful and charming all at once, making no secret of the fact that she's checking him out while he does the same to her.

Castle remembers his manners at the last second, stepping back to allow her entry into his home before he questions the whys and wherefores of her sudden appearance.

"That was fast."

She looks at the floor and then snaps her head up to eyeball him. "I was parked outside in my car. Didn't want to presume, so…"

Castle takes a deep breath. "Kate, I need you to presume. I want you to presume. I'm begging you to—"

If the shock of her hands on his face don't silence him, then her lips covering his certainly do. She kisses him thoroughly, fiercely, a surge of need slicing through both of them in a body wracking shiver that makes Castle weak at the knees with desire for her and has him gripping her hips to hold her in place against him as they stumble back towards the firm support of the front door.

Eventually Kate pulls away to breathe, letting her forehead drop to his shoulder, her hands falling to his biceps to stay close and to steady herself.

"Presume," she whispers, completing his last sentence, though he has no idea how she has the strength or the recall to do so.

"Yeah. Now you've got it," he laughs shakily, rubbing one hand down the middle of her back in gratitude and comfort.

"Finally," she grins, stretching up on tiptoe to tease his eager lips with another open-mouthed brush of a kiss, which he chases until she pulls back again, drawing a needful groan from her partner.

"You lifted a veil today. I forgot why I was waiting, since I already knew what I wanted."

Castle nods sagely, taking everything in, waiting for her to continue. He strokes the sharp peaks of her hipbones through her leggings with his thumbs without even thinking about it.

"How did you know it would work?" she asks, surprising him with her directness and her need to understand him better.

"I didn't."

She tips her head to one side to look at him another way, as if his answer has changed her view of him. "And you still took the risk?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because this is what I want, Kate. And I knew that I couldn't hurt you by asking. Scare you maybe. But I love you, so I figure I'm incapable of hurting you with the truth."

That he loves her is a truth, one they both understand and have acknowledged in different ways. Without being openly discussed until now, it's very much at the core of who they are to one another as people.

Tears rise to swim in her eyes. "When I almost lost you in the bank," she whispers, her voice close to cracking.

"Shhh," Castle soothes, drawing her into a hug.

She lets him hold her and she folds him in her arms with equal strength, relaxing against his warm body while he presses kisses to her hair, muttering some incantation - loving words she can't make out - against her temple.

Eventually she eases back a little so that she can look him square on. She drops her hands from his body to catch with his and she gives him the most open, sincere look she can. "I need to say this, okay?"

Castle nods. "Okay."

A door opens somewhere upstairs and Kate stiffens and then freezes. The sound of soft footfalls on the upper landing has her holding her breath, until she looks at Castle's face and catches him smiling at her.

"What?" she asks, her own terrified expression melting into a matching grin of ridiculousness.

"You should see the look on your face."

"Shut up!" she hisses, swatting at his arm.

"Ow!"

"Dad? Dad, is that you? Are you talking to yourself again?"

Alexis' feet are quiet, muffled by thick socks on the stairs, and they both jump, having forgotten about the threat from above the second they became so caught up in one another.

"Detective Beckett. Good to see you," she says stiffly. "I wondered who you were talking to," she adds, turning to face her father.

"Nice to see you, Alexis," mutters Kate, knowing her words will be ignored. She takes the distraction to step even further back, to put space between herself and the girl's father, while trying not to look too obvious about it, since she's behaving as if she sneaked into the loft after curfew without the girl's permission.

"Am I interrupting something?" Alexis asks, boldly and a little vindictively, since you could cut the atmosphere with a knife.

"Yes," says Castle. "No," lies Kate.

Alexis smirks, looking from one to the other, and then shaking her head disdainfully. After a last glance at Kate, she says, "Thought as much."

Castle looks destroyed and embarrassed when his daughter turns on her heel without another word and makes for the safety of the staircase again.

Kate finally finds her voice. "Actually, you were interrupting something," she tells the surprised teen. "Your dad and I have decided to give our relationship a go."

"A go?" snorts Alexis, mockingly.

Kate keeps her cool. "We want to have a proper relationship. We've been committed to one another for a long time. But...I've been holding back. I'm not going to do that anymore," she says clearly, reaching out to take Castle hand. "I hope you'll be supportive of us," she finishes, giving her partner's hand a squeeze.

Alexis turns back to face them, her gaze immediately drawn to their joined hands. "If you're asking my permission—"

"I'm not, no," Kate clarifies determinedly. "I'm just asking for your support."

Alexis looks slightly shaken. "What makes you think there's anything I can do?"

"Because your dad has taught me that if you want something you have to ask for it. I would like you to be okay with our relationship. I'd also like us to spend some time getting to know one another better, if you're open to that. That's all," she shrugs, determined not to make too big a deal of this with the girl, who will clearly take some time to trust her again after the rough ride she's given her dad.

The flint in Alexis' eyes seems to soften to coal at being included in this new relationship that her father and the detective have decided to embark upon. She nods, a quick bob of her head. "I'd like that too."

"Good. Great."

"Thanks, pumpkin," says Castle, walking the few steps to the bottom of the stairs to give his daughter a kiss on the cheek.

"Night, dad. I'm really happy for you," she whispers, giving him a quick hug. "Night, Detective Beckett."

"Night, Alexis. And please call me Kate," she offers by way of olive branch.

Kate and Castle finally move from the front door to the couch, sinking down side-by-side in a state of emotional exhaustion and bewilderment at the events that have transpired over the last twelve hours.

Kate drops her head to Castle's shoulder and he finds her hand, entwining their fingers on top of her thigh.

"That went better than I hoped," Kate admits, a little wryly.

"She'll come round."

"I know."

"So…we have a lot to talk about."

"We do," Kate agrees.

He turns a little so he can see her face. "I'm pretty beat. You must be too. Want to spend the night?"

"Are you asking me to sleep with you, Mr. Castle?" Kate grins, a hand pressed to her chest, feigning scandalized.

"Hmm. That question has a lot of connotations and meanings. Could get me in a whole heap of trouble."

"No leading the witness, I see."

"Kate, I want what you want," he assures her, pressing a firm kiss to the top of her head.

"I think I finally get that."

"So…shall I rustle you up a new toothbrush or do you want me to call you a cab? I'm cool either way."

"I have to be at work early to prep the Darren Morgan case for trial."

"We could set the alarm…or not," he says, trying hard to read her expression, to figure out what she wants.

"Can I charge my phone?"

His heart rate soars. "Sure. Anything you need."

"Can we make hot chocolate?"

"Ditto."

"And drink it in bed?"

"You're really getting the hang of this asking thing, I see," he laughs.

Kate giggles, gently knocking her head against his. "Yeah, you've created a monster, Castle. So…come to bed with me?"

"What about the hot chocolate?"

"We can make it after."

Castle eyebrows shoot up. "After?"

Kate nods, a beautiful smile lighting up her face when she stands, pulling him up with her. "Yes, after. Now, come on. I think we've waited long enough," she tells him, as she leads him across the floor towards the darkened bedroom.

The End

A/N: Thank you for reading. I really appreciate all of your kind messages and comments. And thanks again to WRTRD for her sane and helpful input along the way. Have a great weekend. xoxo