A/N: None of this stuff really happened (that I know about) but how sweet would it be if it did? Yes, I am on a Storm kick! And, I've been promising that my Lancey muse would comment on Dawn Marie's new 'persona' or whatever you want to call it. I own none of these characters (Beluah is -still- owned by herself! Yay!) the WWF(E) does. And who knows, maybe Lance Storm does think that his website is better then Shane-The Hurricane-Helms' website. LOL. Sigh, I am sad, eh? Rock on!

***

I feel so much better. I took a shower, and the warm water helped my neck. Luckily, during this match no one dropped me on my head. For once. I'm not even the smallest guy on the show (Christian is) but, people always seem to aim for me. Like if I had a freakin' bulls eye on my chest or something. And Goldust thinks -he's- the weak link. Actually, if you think about it, Booker T was one of the first to lose on 'Weakest Link.'

Maybe, I'm the only person who would have thought that, though.

I still can't believe that we were the second team taken out of the match. The damn, dirty Dudleyz were the first, and then us a few seconds later. Booker and Goldust won the belts off of Jericho and Christian. Which is good, because then it'll be easier for me and Regal to win the belts. Jericho and Christian were too damn tough to beat. They had the belts for three months! Even though I know of Christian's so-called Kryptonite. The man known as the Hurricane. Christian is the meanest, devious, ruthless man I know, and yet, he fears Shane 'I'm-a-dorky-Superhero' Helms. And, everyone knows, my website is much better then his! I update more and stuff!

Yes, I'm still slightly annoyed that Helms got a job in the WWF before me. Or whatever it was called back then. Damn Ric Flair. What was I complaining about? Or 'aboot'? Ah, yes. Christian. Hell with him. Let him be with Jericho. Vitamin C or whatever they're calling themselves. Another blonde Canadian ex-friend of mine. Perhaps these Canadians are put off by my obvious beauty. Either that, or my dry wit frightens them.



That shower really did helped my back and neck. I have to put a dry towel on the sofa before I sit on it, because this couch is real leather. I don't think Bischoff would have appreciated it if I ruined a sofa. Even though I could always blame it on Stephanie McMahon. That's what most people around here do.

The latest thing going on in the Pay Per View, as I turn the television on, is Dawn Marie and Al Wilson. Maybe I should have stayed in that shower longer. Then I wouldn't have to watch this.


My poor Dawn Marie. I can't believe she's lowered herself so much. I remember the girl she used to be. Trashy, yes, but classy trash. She would have never done something like this before. All this is, is for ratings and nothing else. I'm sure Stephanie McMahon didn't put her up to this, so maybe Vince had his hand in this. I'm not sure. All I know, is that this is not for the love of Al Wilson. And it's not a sexual love for Torrie Wilson.

Torrie, a sexual predator? Please. That's the complete opposite of what Billy Kidman used to say in the locker room. He would tell us boys about how she liked to cuddle and hug, and that's why that had broken up.

Which, of course, means that Dawn Marie is more likely the 'predator.' Which I've know her to be. She used to do the most weirdest things. She once propositioned Justin and I. At the same time. We both politely declined. Even though she kind of ...scared... me with her talks of whips and leather and chains (she actually reminded me a lot of a female Raven. Kind of frightening.) I think, somehow, in some weird way I fell in love with her.

On television and for the audience, we seemed to be going out. The two of us were complete opposites, and most people like that old, cliched idea of opposites attract. Anyway, that didn't matter. What mattered, was that we had a completely platonic relationship. We were friends, and that was it. And, I didn't realize until much later how fond I was of her.



One time after one to many beers (if that's even possible for him) Sandman propositioned Dawn Marie. All night. And it seemed like he wouldn't take 'no' for an answer that night. So, I stepped in.

I put my arm around her shoulder, and drew her body closer to me, and I even had the nerve to tell him to back off because we were an 'item.'

He got the message (well, he did after Dreamer and Raven had to physically move him away from us), and I found that whenever I tried to move my arm away, she would just snuggle closer to me. So, after a while, I just stopped trying. When the bar finally closed, I gathered my group together and drove back to the hotel. Because, even back then, I stressed clean living. I was a nerd even in the seedy world of ECW.

So, I always ended up being the designated driver. I had Dawn Marie, still in my arms with Justin Credible sitting next to her in the passenger seat. I don't even remember who was sitting in the back. Maybe a couple assorted Dudleyz. Maybe Rhino (before he started spelling his name with that annoying 'y') Maybe even Tommy, Raven, and Sandman. I couldn't tell you now. All I know, is that by the time we got back to the hotel, Dawn Marie had fallen asleep, still cuddled up in my arms.

So, instead of waking her and bringing her to her room (and probably waking up her roommate -Lita -then known as Angelica) I brought her back to my and Justin's room. I, of course, had to carry her to do this, and I distinctively remember Justin laughing his ass off at me. But, because I told him to 'shut it, Aldo' he stopped laughing, and just smirked at me. Never helping me with her, I might add.

I put her on my bed, and I made a makeshift bed on the ground. Because, I was a gentlemen even before I had my wife. Just because, that was the way I was brought up, never to take advantage of a woman.

Sometime during the night she woke up, and for some strange reason started crying. This woke only myself up, because Justin is a notoriously heavy sleeper. I got up and sat on the bed, and held her while she cried.

Once she finally stopped, I kissed her on the head, and put her under the covers. I was just about to leave when she whispered that she didn't want to be alone and that she needed 'her' Stormy. That sold me, and I fell asleep holding her close.


That was pretty much, how far our relationship ever got. I left for WCW soon after. I heard, that after I left, that she hung around Dreamer a bit. Not in any sort of sexual relationship (Beulah would have castrated him, and -then- killed him. Slowly.) When she came to the WWF, I must admit, I didn't go out of my way to talk to her.

I can see my mistakes now. I miss her. I mean, I obviously still love my wife, but I just miss the way Dawn Marie could light up a room with her smile. I miss everything about her.

*

Regal walks into the room. Once he sees what I'm watching, he just shakes his head. "Lance, my good boy. You just need to get over her. She's not good for you."

I want to stop him, and tell him that she is. She is good for me. But, deep down, I know he's right. I don't want to admit it, but she's a different Dawn then the one I held in my arms in some nameless ECW hotel, so many years ago.