Connor didn't want to move from his spot outside Jude's apartment. If he stayed there, Jude would eventually have to leave and then he would have his chance to talk to Jude. He sat up against the door, sending Jude text after text, calling over and over again and leaving seemingly hundreds of voicemails.

"Jude," one of them began. "I know how what I said sounded, but please you have to listen to me. Even though I'm straight, that doesn't matter, because I really, really love you Jude. I don't know how or why it happened, and I know I sound crazy but you have to believe me! I really do love you! Please just talk to me."

But Jude never called back; he didn't respond to any of his texts. And now it was 9:00 PM and Jude still hadn't left his apartment the whole day. Connor couldn't stay sitting outside all night (he was pretty sure the building manager was watching him, getting ready to kick him out), so he reluctantly stood up and trudged out of Jude's apartment building, wandering around the neighborhood aimlessly.

At some point during the day, Jude had finally come out of his bedroom and walked up to his front door. He looked out the peephole, trying to see if Connor was still there, but he couldn't see anything. He gently pressed his ear up to the door, the sounds of heavy breathing and choked sobs filtering through the thin material of the door. Jude almost felt angry; what right did Connor have to be upset after what he just did to him? Connor couldn't just toy with his emotions like that and expect him to be okay with it.

Jude's phone started buzzing in his pocket. He took it out, taking one look at the caller ID and ignoring the call. He then turned his phone off, tossing it to the side. He wasn't talking to Connor. Jude padded back to his bedroom, flopping down on his bed and closing his eyes, trying to will himself to sleep. He needed to get his mind as far away from this waking nightmare as possible.

But even in his dreams there wasn't any escape. He was assaulted by the visage of Connor, reaching out for him, kissing him softly, only to turn away and say those soul-crushing, heart-shattering words again. It would all fade to black and then the scene would replay, and even in his dreams, each heartbreak felt fresh, just as real as the first time. Jude woke up, his face buried into his tear-soaked pillow, screaming in anguish. Why did Connor have to hurt him like this?

Connor never made it back to his mom's house, instead meandering around the streets of Los Angeles erratically all night. But somehow, by morning's first light, he found himself outside his apartment building, watching unseen as Lisa tossed her things into her car and drove away. As her car disappeared out of sight, it hit Connor that she was really gone. Connor wasn't lying when he said he really liked her, maybe even sort of loved her. But now he had come to the realization that no one could ever compare to Jude. He couldn't give Lisa what she wanted, so even though he felt a twinge of sadness that she was gone, he couldn't help but feel relieved too.

But things weren't okay with Jude. Jude wasn't talking to him. He could only imagine how Jude must have felt, hearing those words. He just wished that Jude would've stayed, would've listened for a little while longer. Jude probably thought that the kiss meant nothing to Connor; but that couldn't have been farther from the truth. It meant everything to him; it helped him see clearly what he felt, what he wanted. Jude. Jude was the only person that mattered to him, now and forever. If only he would listen!

Connor let out a heavy sigh, lumbering into the building and entering into his now nearly empty apartment. His phone dinged and he scrambled to pull it out of his pocket, fumbling with it in between his fingers as he tried to focus on the words lighting up the screen. His face fell when he realized it wasn't from Jude, but rather his mom.

How did it go?

Connor slid his thumb across the display, unlocking the phone and tapping out a reply.

Terrible. Don't want to talk about it.

Maybe she would leave him alone, but Connor didn't think so. He was right because seconds later his phone started ringing. He almost cried; the ringtone was something stupid, but it was something stupid that Jude had picked out and he loved it. It always made him think of Jude, except now Jude was the last person he wanted to be thinking about. He quickly answered the call, silencing the ringtone and taking a few seconds to collect himself before saying anything.

"Hi mom," he spoke, keeping his tone flat and devoid of emotion.

"Tell me what happened honey," she said sympathetically.

"There's not much to tell honestly. I fucked up and now he won't talk to me," Connor explained.

"You couldn't have screwed up that badly," Mary mused.

"He heard me say that I was straight and then he slammed the door before I could say anything else," Connor sighed. "I think that qualifies as 'messed up monumentally'."

"Maybe. But that doesn't mean that it's unfixable," Mary countered.

"Well I don't see the point in trying to fix things now," Connor replied. "I'm pretty sure he hates me."

"Oh honey I don't think he hates you, he's just upset with you right now, he'll come around. Just give him some time. So where are you now?"

"My apartment," Connor stated.

"With Lisa?"

"No, she's gone. We broke up; she uh," Connor hesitated, "she caught me kissing Jude outside his apartment. That's why I'm in this whole mess to begin with.

"You're in this mess because you kissed Jude?"

"No, because she saw! I wanted to get things figured out with Jude first and then I was going to come over here and break up with her but—I don't know, I never saw her and then she wanted me to explain myself right there, and Jude wanted to hear too and…well that's when it all went to hell."

"Well at least you have one less thing to worry about with Lisa already out of the picture," Mary conceded.

"I don't have anything to worry about because Jude is gone," Connor murmured.

"So you're telling me that you're just going to give up?" Mary asked.

"Well," Connor paused, taking in the tone his mother was taking with him. He'd heard it before; she was daring him to defy her. "Um, no, I guess not?"

"Good. Because you shouldn't ever give up on love."

"I need to go mom," Connor said abruptly. "I need some sleep since I didn't get any last night. Hopefully after that I can sort all this out. Bye."

"Alright Connor, good luck!"

Jude had finally reached a point where he had to turn his phone back on, even though he really didn't want to. He didn't want to read the flood of text messages he had from Connor, he didn't even want to see the icon indicating he had missed calls and voicemails from him. But given that his apartment didn't have a landline, he couldn't be without his phone for very long or people (namely his family) would start to worry. So he squeezed his eyes shut and pressed the power button, keeping his eyes closed as the phone sprang to life, violently vibrating in his hands as all the notifications from Connor flooded in.

Once his phone had calmed down, Jude unlocked it, carefully opening one of his eyes to make sure that he didn't have anything from Connor up on his screen. Now sure that it was safe, Jude quickly opened his messages and swiped left on Connor's messages, deleting the conversation. Then he went to voicemails and set to doing the same, trying to delete them all. But as he came to the last voicemail, he hesitated. Did it really hurt that much that he wouldn't even give Connor a chance to explain? Would deleting this last message really mean that he was going to let go of Connor?

The answer in both cases was no. Sure it hurt, but when had Connor ever hurt him on purpose? He had to have a reasonable explanation for what he said. And there was no way Jude would ever let go of Connor. No matter what happened, the boy he had loved for twelve years and still loved even right at this very moment in spite of everything would always be with him, be a part of him and maybe even haunt him. So Jude pressed the message, jerkily bringing the phone up to his ear.

Jude, I know how what I said sounded, but please you have to listen to me. Even though I'm straight, that doesn't matter, because I really, really love you Jude. I don't know how or why it happened, and I know I sound crazy but you have to believe me! I really do love you! Please just talk to me.

Jude couldn't process what he had just heard. Connor was right, he did sound crazy. He was straight, but he loved him? Jude couldn't think of anyway this made sense. He probably meant that he just loved him platonically, right? Jude listened to the message again, trying to figure it out.

I really, really love you Jude.

I really do love you!

Those eleven words stood out from all the others in the message. He said "I love you" twice. "Really" three times. Jude pinched himself and listened again. The words didn't change. He didn't wake up. There was no denying this was real life; it wasn't a dream. Jude immediately slapped himself for deleting all the other messages and voicemails. Well now he was convinced that he at least had to hear Connor out. "I love you" was not a phrase that Jude could so easily ignore. So Jude sprinted out of his apartment, PJ's and all, to find Connor.

Connor had already left his apartment, headed for Jude's apartment to force Jude to talk to him, so when Jude arrived at Connor's, there was no one to answer the door. Jude stood for a moment, pondering his options. As far as he knew, Connor was there and he just wasn't answering the door. He could be asleep, or he could just be ignoring him (though Jude highly doubted the latter). Jude carefully gripped the handle, turning it and swinging the door open. Jude smirked; Connor had always been terrible about locking the apartment door when they were living together. Thank God that hadn't changed when he moved in with Lisa.

"Connor?" Jude said, cautiously tiptoeing into the apartment. No answer. "Connor?" he called out again. Still nothing. Jude wandered into Connor's bedroom, looking to see if he was still asleep there. But he wasn't; all Jude found was an empty bed with nothing but a large black book sitting in the middle. Jude walked over and picked it up, opening the front cover and gasping. How did Connor still have this?

It was a scrapbook Jude had made with help from his sister Mariana when he and Connor had started high school. He flipped through it, looking at all the pictures of them, taking a journey back through their middle school days: them at the beach, playing video games on the floor of Jude's room, at the LGBT prom that Connor had gone with him to. 24 year-old Jude sat there staring at little 7th and 8th grade Jude, seeing the love and adoration in his eyes, even then, as he looked at Connor. As he looked through, Jude was startled by a voice suddenly floating across the room to him.

Connor got no response when he went to Jude's apartment. He figured as much. Well if Jude wasn't going to talk to him today, maybe he would tomorrow. Connor shrugged it off, trying not to feel too disappointed that Jude wouldn't answer the door. He made his way back to his apartment, stepping inside just in time to hear a gasp coming from his bedroom. Connor quickly but quietly made his way there, peaking in the doorway to see Jude standing there, gaping at the scrapbook that Connor had dug out.

Before he went to see Jude, Connor had listened to the song again and thought about the lyrics.

All this time how could you not know baby

All this time. Those words echoed in his head. All this time. Connor had looked around, trying to find any old photos of them, looking to see what he had missed all these many years. All he could find was an old middle school scrapbook that Jude had made for him. But as he opened it, looking at the pictures inside, he was caught. And he wasn't caught by the looks that Jude was giving him, but rather the looks he was giving Jude. There were the goofy grins he always seemed to be wearing, the way his eyes were always wider and brighter around Jude, and the way he was obviously looking at Jude like he was the earth, sun, moon and stars. And the lyrics bounced around his head again. And he didn't know how he was so blind, how he was so confused. You don't look at someone like that without being head over heels in love he thought. He still didn't know why he fell for Jude, or how he feel, but he did. And looking at those pictures, and see how long he had been in love, Connor let go. He let go of his label, of his hesitation, of everything that stood between him and the boy he loved with all his heart.

Watching Jude gaze at the pictures now, Connor could only think of one thing to do.

"Standing by me, waiting at my back door, all this time how could I not know baby, you belong with me," Connor sang softly, modifying the lyrics just slightly.

"C-Connor," Jude stuttered.

"Come on, sing it with me," Connor urged, gently taking the book from Jude's hands and setting it down, taking Jude's hands into his when he finished.

If you can see that I'm the one who understands you

Been here all along so why can't you see

You belong with me

Standing by you waiting at your back door

All this time how could you not know baby

You belong with me, you belong with me

"You're right," Connor whispered. "You've always been right; I do belong with you."

"But Connor you said—"

"I know what I said but that label doesn't matter. No one else matters to me. Just you. I love you Jude."

"I love you too Connor," Jude replied. Connor let out a short giggle, a grin spreading across his face before he leaned over and pressed his lips onto Jude's.

Have you ever thought just maybe

You belong with me

Connor had thought about it, and it wasn't a maybe. He definitely belonged with Jude.