Author's Note: This fanfiction is part of the Omniverse Event, a multi-fandom crossover story arc created by Golden Keyblade (link on my profile). It should be worth noting that this is absolutely nothing to do with my Calvin Who universe. You shouldn't have to read any other Omniverse stories to understand this one, although I do encourage it (because Calvin's Quest is really good!).

Also, if you have no idea who Bernice Summerfield is- she's an archaeologist living in the far future. She travelled with the Doctor for a while, before a lot of complicated stuff happened. She eventually ended up living on a planet called Legion with the Doctor's sort-of brother (Braxiatel), Springheeled Jack, a girl called Ruth, and her son, Peter. It makes sense in context, I swear. Her range of books and audios are really goddamn good, so I urge you to get into them!

I think that's about it for now. Just a warning- I have no idea how often this story will be updated, since I have a lot on.

Allons-y!

Kitty

A message to Command

The worst-case scenario has indeed come to pass. Rifts are spreading across the universes faster than we imagined. Tell Home Base to dispatch all available agents at once.

The Omniverse Event is under way.

"Irving Braxiatel," grunted a woman, struggling over a sand dune. "I swear to god, if I ever get out of this godforsaken dump, and if I somehow make it back to Legion, and if by some divine act of intervention, I'm not completely and utterly dead by then-"

She tripped, and fell into a sprawling heap on the ground.

"-I am going to murder you," she continued, as if nothing had happened, although her voice was slightly more muffled than before. She sighed, rather pointedly, and began to drag herself up, trying to ignore the fine grains of sand that were no doubt working their way through her clothes and into places where it'd be very hard to wash them out. "Bloody manipulative gits and their bloody obscure plans to take over the known universe, and it doesn't help that he's so goddamn charming most of the time-"

The woman in question was known mostly as Bernice Summerfield- Benny to her friends- and was in a foul mood, if it hadn't already been obvious. It didn't help that she was currently stuck on a planet with no food, no shelter, and nothing even resembling a good, stiff drink.

She tugged her comms unit out of her shoulder satchel, and sat down, flicking it on. A small icon appeared in the middle of the screen, indicating that the device was searching for a signal. After a moment, it found one and locked onto it tentatively. An old-fashioned telephone graphic blinked on the screen, and flashed a bright green.

"Come on," Benny muttered, shaking it irritably. "Hurry up…"

The tiny machine bleeped indignantly, and a vidcall screen opened up.

"Benny!" exclaimed Springheeled Jack in delight. "What a pleasant surprise!"

It's probably worth noting here that the Jack that was currently located in the White Rabbit Pub, somewhere in Legion City (which was where Bernice was calling to) wasn't exactly the same Springheeled Jack that lurked menacingly in British folklore. Well, not really. He had spent some time impersonating the famous menace, and doing it fairly well, which had been helped along by his otherworldly appearance. He wasn't human, that much was clear to anyone that looked at him. The red, glowing eyes were a bit of a giveaway, as were the pointed ears. The legs were a bit conspicuous, too, although you couldn't see them from Benny's current perspective.

He beamed up at her from the slightly grimy screen, revealing pointed teeth. "Having fun?"

"Not especially," she replied with considerable restraint. "Look, is Irving there? He and I need to have a little… chat."

Jack winked. "Oooh, lover's spat?" Before she could protest and/or deliver death threats, he tossed his comms unit carelessly onto a table, causing the view to tilt and shudder. "I'm sure he's around here somewhere. Give me a second or two. I'll have him on in a jiffy."

Benny had to endure a few seconds of staring at a high-definition image of the admittedly extremely fancy ceiling of the White Rabbit before someone else snatched up the line. The image warped, the speed of the images being a bit too much for it. The face on the other end was blurry and indistinct, before folding into another familiar face- and Benny brightened instantly when she saw who it was. "Ruth!"

"Hiya, Benny!" grinned the small girl. "How's your job for Irving going?"

She considered the question seriously for a minute. "Painful," she decided. "Also, fruitless."

"Ouch." Ruth winced in sympathy. "Business as usual, then?"

Benny smiled. "Pretty much. Is Peter in?"

"He's busy. But he said he'd be back in later. Call again in an hour or so, yeah?"

Benny tried her best not to look disappointed, and fervently hoped she was succeeding. "Yeah. Can you see Irving anywhere from where you are? I have a bone to pick with him."

The viewpoint on-screen bobbed back and forth as Ruth scanned the small crowd inside the pub. "No, sorry," she began, than turned abruptly. "Actually, hang on… yup, that's Jack- and Irving too- they're heading over this way."

"Hand this thing over to him, now," Bernice demanded instantly. Ruth, on the other end of the connection, tossed it through the air towards the two approaching men. Jack easily caught it, and handed it over to Irving.

"Bernice!" he greeted her cheerfully. "I trust you're enjoying yourself on Minas IV?"

On a very long list of things to say that would be classified as 'a very, very bad idea', that sentence came close to the top. Benny's eyes narrowed to dark slits. "I'm having a brilliant time," she growled. "Especially since there's absolutely no one here at all. Oh, I do love a bit of solitude."

Irving frowned. "I'm sorry, I don't follow."

"There are no life signs on this entire planet!" Benny exclaimed angrily. "You've sent me on a wild goose chase!"

He gave her a hurt look. "Ah, Bernice, Bernice- would I do that to you?"

"Yes," she said firmly. "Yes, you bloody would, wouldn't you? I'm currently very angry, and the ship that dropped me off seems to have left suddenly and mysteriously. Do me a favour, and send the ship over to pick me up. If you do that, I probably won't kill you when I get back."

Irving sighed theatrically. "You really have such little faith in me. As it happens, I genuinely thought that Minas IV was a rich source of archaeological information, and I also happened to think you'd enjoy it. I must have got the timing wrong, and I do apologize."

Benny folded her arms and balanced the communicator on her knee, trying not to let him see that her anger was fading. "Right. Amazing. Send the ship, please?"

He was already tapping at a keyboard just off screen. He waggled a slender finger at her. "Use its proper name."

Benny scowled. "Do I have to?"

"Rudeness will get you nowhere, Benny."

"Fine. Send the-" Her face twisted up, as if she was about to eat something particularly disgusting. "-the Irverfield to Minas IV. Please," she added with exaggerated politeness. "Better?"

"Much," he said, a trace of a smile flitting across his face. "Jack, Ruth, would you mind piloting it over?"

"No problem," Ruth said, getting up. "I was getting bored here, anyway. Jack?"

The red-eyed man yawned. "Why not?" He turned to the comms unit. "Benny, would you be a dear, and not land yourself in any world-ending situations before we get there?"

Benny childishly poked her tongue out at him.

"Ta," he said, and left, following Ruth. Benny turned her attention back to Irving.

"How long will it take them?" she asked him frankly. "I don't have any supplies of any sort, and there's no cover. It's just flat sand and desert galore."

Irving glanced over his shoulder to a gaudy clock ornamenting the wall. "A day or so. You should be able to survive that long, I trust?"

She scowled.

"I'll take that as a 'yes'," he interpreted, giving her what was probably meant to be a comforting smile. "Don't worry. It's not as if anything's going to go wrong, is it?"

And as everyone knows, that one sentence is usually all it takes for all hell to break loose.

Benny brushed hair out of her eyes. "Is it just me, or is it getting windier out here?" she asked to no one in particular.

It wasn't just her. A minute ago, it had been eerily silent- like a graveyard, almost. Now, it looked like the mother of all hurricanes was brewing.

"I think it's a sandstorm!" Benny exclaimed over the rapidly rising wind. The image on the comms unit was beginning to break up a bit, but Irving was still visible. He leaned forwards urgently.

"Bernice," he said, somehow managing to cut through the horrendous noise of the storm. "Lie down on the ground, and cover as much of your body as possible."

She did so instantly, and without question, knowing (however reluctantly) that he was right. She folded her arms in front of herself, pressing her entire body into the horrible, itchy sand, and gripping onto the comms unit so hard that her hands were beginning to hurt. "What the hell's happening?"

"Well, how am I supposed to know that?" he retorted angrily, although she knew it was just a front. The audio was fading in and out. "Berni…look…ver…portal…"

"What?" she yelled.

"Portal!" he yelled pointedly, the screen going black for a moment, before coming back on. "Behind you!"

She looked over her shoulder with much difficulty, and saw a glowing white disc revolving in mid-air behind her. "What is-"

"High amounts of radiation and temporal energy reading off it," he said, tapping furiously at a keyboard. "Get out of there. Now."

"I can barely walk, there's too much sand," she protested, already struggling to her feet.

"Bernice. For once, do not argue with me, and get as far as you can away- you do not want to be there when whatever it is comes through."

Benny took his advice, and ran, stumbling through the haze of sand and dust, still gripping tightly to the communication device. She squeezed her eyes shut, even though there was sand in them already. She could feel the searing heat of- well, something at her back, and doubled her pace.

There was a roar of something otherworldly, and some sort of light flashed three times, managing to be bright enough to be seen, even through her closed eyelids.

"Irving bloody Braxiatel," she yelled, fully aware that she probably couldn't be heard by anyone over the roaring wind, and even if she could, the communication link was failing. "If I die here, I swear to god, I will come back and haunt you for the rest of your abnormally long life!"

Although she didn't know what it was at the time, the portal exploded, sending waves of temporal discharge and shrapnel across the length of the planet. Reality protested against the strain, before admitting defeat and warping into strange patterns with a whistling sound. The universe quietly rewrote itself, and shuffled back into place sheepishly, unwilling to admit to the rest of reality that it had been bossed around.

Bernice Summerfield didn't know any of that. All she knew was that she was suddenly being flung backwards through the air on the crest of a massive detonation that was probably scorching any exposed skin. She heard someone screaming and realized, belatedly, that it was her.

This is going to really, really, sting, was her last thought before she ploughed face-first into the ground.

It did.

Just before she lost consciousness, she could've sworn that she saw a small boy with spiky yellow hair standing over her, just next to a tiger-shaped object. But that was impossible, because there were no life signs apart from her on this planet.

Were there?