This is just a quickie that popped into my head and was written in about an hour. I'm still writing Alive in Kentucky, and it's rounding on 50k, God help me. I may add more to this at a later date because I love the idea of it, but frankly I have no real plans, so I'm going to mark it as complete for now. It's super short but I just couldn't get it out of my head lol

Takes place in season 3 (I can hear your shock. No really.) at the beginning of senior year. Sam already lives with the Hudmels (bc... plot device, that's why!) Obviously AU, in this 'world' Kurt stayed a cheerio and got popular. Basically it's season 6 McKinley and Kurt is the cheerleader!Spencer except without all the douchiness. (spellcheck tells me that's not a word. It's wrong.) Quinn never joined the Skanks because Puck knocked some sense (and tact, dammit) into her. This is more about Kurt being awesome than Kurt/Seb... bc I'm a total Kurt fangirl.

[Kurt]

As he steps out of his roundoff back handspring and moves to pick up Quinn for the lift, Kurt's stopped by the blast of Coach Sue's bullhorn.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Turning in the direction of her glare, Kurt groans. Quinn walks up to him, giggling.

"If you don't stop them, Coach will make your life a living hell."

Huffing, Kurt snaps out, "I know!" Turning back to Sue, he yells out, "Coach, if you take a coffee break for the next five minutes, and let me deal with this, I'll do the new Celine Dion song for nationals this year."

Narrowing her eyes at him for a few seconds, she yells out, "In french?" He nods. "Take five, diaper babies, while Porcelain deals with his lady troubles."

Breathing out in relief, Kurt finally turns his attention to the idiot walking toward him with a huge smile, backed by a sea of navy blue. The rest of the squad gathers around him as he waits for the object of his ire to come closer. He can't seriously think this is a good idea, can he?

Once he's close enough and before he can even open his mouth, Kurt snaps out, "Blaine, what the hell are you doing?"

The smaller boy blushes as the football team finally notices that something's up and stops practicing to watch, all the cheerios already staring at him with blank faces.

"Kurt! You ruined it! We were going to sing!"

Crossing his arms, Kurt scoffs. "Yeah, surprisingly I got that. The question is why?"

Moving closer so he won't have to yell as loudly, Blaine hisses, "You told me at regionals last year that you had a boyfriend, and then at the end of the year you said you'd just broken up and weren't ready to date yet. So I gave you a couple months." The only response he gets is Kurt's eyebrow cocking. Stammering, Blaine finishes, "I-I wanted to ask you out again."

Squeezing his eyes shut and pinching the bridge of his nose, Kurt mutters, "Can't you take a hint, Anderson?" At the puppy eyes aimed his way, Kurt hisses out, "You've seen my ex, why would you assume you were my type at all?"

Blaine quickly replies with, "That's just one guy! That doesn't make him your type!"

Now embarrassed to be having this conversation in front of everyone on the field, including his fucking ex-boyfriend, Kurt bites out, "It wasn't just him! Every crush I've had for the past three years is fucking smirking at me right now over this, dammit." No sooner are the words out of his mouth than four boys start walking toward him. Groaning Kurt throws his head back and glares at the 'heavens'. "Dammit, dammit, dammit."

Glaring at the boys doesn't even slow them, or stop their laughs at his situation. As they come to a stop, Finn asks, "Hey, Kurt. Everything okay?"

Gritting his teeth, Kurt says, "It's fine, Finn. Go back to practice. All of you. Please."

Sam shakes his head, "Sorry, dude. Can't do that." Turning to look at the short, gel covered boy, he asks, "So, seriously, what's going on?"

Staring from jock to jock, Blaine stage whispers at Kurt, "These are the guys you had crushes on?!"

When his friends all start chuckling, even Quinn, Santana, and Brittany, Kurt glares at them. "I hate all of you." Turning back to Blaine, he cocks his hip out and crosses his arms again. "Yes, okay. Now you understand why you asking me out -repeatedly- isn't a good idea. You are definitely not my type."

"Aww, come on, Kurt. We've been broken up for months, you're not over me yet?"

Kurt turns and points at his ex with venom in his eyes. "One more word out of you, David and I'm calling Paul. I'll tell him the reason we broke up was because you cheated on me and how heartbroken I still am over it."

Paling, Dave says, "You wouldn't."

"Don't test me, David. I'm not above lying at the moment, it's been one hell of a week."

When Dave actually takes a step back, Puck snorts at him. "Seriously, dude? Like you said, you broke up months ago, how are you still whipped? It was one thing when you were getting some, now it's just sad."

Dave mumbles something that sounds like 'Clearly you've never seen his fake tears. Dad would fucking kill me.' but Kurt ignores him, stomping up to Puck and grabbing him by the ear.

Kurt pinches and twists it until Puck almost drops to a knee. Ignoring his yelping, Kurt hisses at him lowly, "One more word Noah, and Quinn will never have to worry about being knocked up by you again!"

Whining at the increased pressure at his ear, Puck appeals to his girlfriend, "Babe! Help!"

Smiling at him angelically, Quinn shakes her head. "No way. He has to throw me in our routine, I'm not pissing him off for you."

Kurt twists harder while glaring around him at all the jocks. "Coach only gave me five minutes to deal with this before she comes back. Don't think for a second I won't tell her the reason the herd of blazers aren't off her field is because the dumbass football team got lost and I had to round them up and put them back in their playpen."

Finally releasing Puck, Kurt pushes him toward the other three. "Finn, Sam, we'll talk about this at home, if we really must. I suppose you can bring the other morons with you, just get the fuck back to practice so I can chase off the idiots!"

Finn grumbles out, "Fine, but we'll be watching until they leave. The tall one looks like a jerk."

Kurt turns to the silently watching Warblers and notes a new face in the crowd. Looking him up and down slowly, Kurt smirks and turns back to his brother. "Yeah, he does, but he's hot as fuck, so it could be worse. Go, I'll talk to you guys at home."

Once they're out of earshot, Kurt walks toward the Warblers, Blaine having stepped back into the group and looking embarrassed. Good, serves him right for putting me through this crap. Dave won't stop laughing about this for weeks.

Glaring at them all, Kurt yells, "Next time some idiot tells you he wants to ask someone out, find out if he's already been turned down twice before driving over two hours to sing to them!"

Quinn hisses at him, "She's coming!"

Huffing, Kurt glares at them. "Okay, seriously, back to the bee hive, guys." Before he steps away from the group and heads back to practice Kurt pulls the dry erase marker out of his pocket that he uses to explain routines to his squad and walks up to the tall boy he'd noticed earlier.

Taking the boy's hand, Kurt writes on the boy's palm. Before turning, he winks at him and says, "Text me."

Walking away without looking back, Kurt rejoins the group of giggling girls just as Coach Sue yells out, over her bullhorn, "Okay, ladies, from the top!"

That night, after Kurt had explained everything to not just his friends, but his dad -who'd come home in the middle of the explanation- Kurt flops backward on his bed. He's only half convinced himself that taking a shower and scrubbing all the sweat off his skin is worth getting up when he hears a beep from his phone.

Reaching out to grab it off the table, Kurt smiles at the text he'd received.

Unknown Number: Hi, I'm Sebastian, sworn arch nemesis of one Blaine Anderson as of about 4:30 this afternoon. And your whole bitchy diva thing is super hot.

Me: Hi, Sebastian. I'm Kurt.

Thanks for reading! ^_^