Hitchhikers Guide to Steven ch. 2

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

…...

-It's an important and popular fact
that things are not always
what they seem.

For instance, on the planet Earth,
man had always assumed
that he was the most intelligent
species occupying the planet,
instead of the third most intelligent.

The second most intelligent creatures
were dolphins, who, curiously enough,
had long known of the impending
destruction of the planet Earth.

They'd made many attempts
to alert mankind,

but most of their communications
were misinterpreted
as amusing attempts to punch footballs
or whistle for tidbits.

So they eventually decided they would
leave Earth by their own means.

The last ever dolphin message
was misinterpreted
as a sophisticated attempt
to do a backward somersault
through a hoop, whistling
The Star-Spangled Banner.

In fact, the message was this:
"So long and thanks for all the fish. "

…...

It should also be noted that Teenage rebellion is an inevitable stage in the life cycle of most sentient species(one notable exception being the chrono-sapiens who just quantum leap right past that whole sad stage...which is awkward when you find yourself in bed with a woman who claims to be your wife but you have no memory of her having fast forward through the whole thing...especially when she's lying.).

There have been many attempts to purge it through genetic engineering, time travel, reverse-civil disobedience...all have meet with either staggering failure...or gone horribly right.

In any case it should be noted that while most of the dolphins left the earth at the same time. A couple of adolescent briefly doubled back.

Thinking it be funny to get their good deed for the century out of the way and help a pretty girl that irritated their parents by literally flipping their world upside down...if this should open the door for inter-species 'action' down the line...oh who are we kidding? We all know that was there first thought!

…...

Laupis Lazuli went through a turmoil of emotions. First she was scared for the lives of the Dolphins that swam too close to Malachite. Then she was confused when she suddenly defused against her will and Jasper ended up sealed in a weird un-melting ice. Then she was amazed when the simple creatures revealed themselves to be not so simple. Then horror when told what was about to happen to the earth-

STEVEN!

…...

ADDITIONAL READINGS: QU-09L's '101 ways to pick up alien chicks that might kill you', Glabor of graph-D's 'Miscommunication and you; now do shut up!', And Ulan-kalothigs new blockbuster trilogy( 'Why teenagers are a bad thing, Why teenagers are a good thing, and Why teenagers are neither good nor bad and we should just keep our noses out of it!')

…...

TO BE CONTINUED?

Also don't forget to give a shout out to my mom's birthday story on my page!

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