A/N

Hello again! Now, what you're about to read is a first-hand account of a real encounter with a supposedly make-believe girl-

Oh come on, this didn't actually happen.

Then why are you here?

'Cause I'm the only "fictional" character ever that knows he's a fictional character.

What? Ever? No, there's people like Peter Parker (Earth-12041), Loki Laufeyson (Earth-616), Stan Lee (Earth-12041)-

Shut-up.

Yeah, exactly, so this actually happened, and you guys should be thanking me. I had to endure quite a bit to write this. So sit back and relax for me, as I tell you the tale of Deadpool, me, and four girls.

Oooh! A gangbang!

Fuck off.

"Fu-" I was abruptly cut off as Ruby rammed her very real fist into my face. I slammed my head into the back of my chair as I jerked away, making my head throb. I blinked dizzily as Ruby started hyperventilating.

"Wh-what did you do with Yang?!" she screamed at Deadpool, making the Merc look up from his Chimichangas. He sighed and pointed at his food, rolling his eyes.

"I'm- mmm that's good -eating, can't you tell? Come back in five- yum -minutes."

Ruby just stared at him. "Are you serious?"

"He's just as serious as when he's shooting things." I groggily stated, wobbling to my feet. Ruby quickly crawled away from me, cowering in a corner.

"Wh-who are you? And why do you look so wierd?" She said warily, eyes darting everywhere.

"I should be asking you the same thing. Or should I be asking this idiot...?" I slowly looked at Deadpool, an accusing look on my face. He continued to eat, however he put more emphasis on his chewing. I stared at him harder, my eyes boring into his skull.

(They SOOOO did not!)

(Yes, they SOOOO did, dumbass.)

Deadpool looked up with a sigh. "Alright alright, if you're wondering why she's black, it's 'cause the teleporter I use is an exact replica of the one the Blues used."

"The who's?"

"Ya know," Deadpool said, staring at me. "The Blues. From Red vs Blue?"

I facepalmed. "You've messed with that universe too?"

"Well... not really messed with it." Deadpool responded, wincing. "Kinda just... played with it?"

"Goddamnit Deadpool how am I supposed to explain this?" I said, sighing. "Have you even stopped to think about the poor people reading this who are going 'Da fuck is Red vs Blue?'?"

"Well... yeah?"

I gave him the evil eye and turned back to Ruby, who had watched the exchange with wide ones. I sighed."Okay, do you want the long version or the short version?"

"Short please."

"Alright. So, what's basically happened is that guy," I pointed at Deadpool. "approached me one day and asked me to write him a story. I did, and, being a comic book character himself, he became a part of it, using a teleporter to transport himself into the story. Which, in this case, happens to be set in your... fabric of reality. You following?"

Ruby frowned. "I... think so."

"Good. Deadpool messed around with your Universe (the way he always does) and ended up bringing you back here, the 'real' world."

"Wait... who's Deadpool?"

"That woulda be me, darlin'." Deadpool said.

"Why are you putting on a Mexican accent? Like seriously, why?" I asked, staring at him AGAIN.

"'Cause I'm Mexican."

"You're Canadian."

"I'm part Mexican."

"You were born in Canada."

"My father was Mexican."

"You never knew your father."

"Fuck you."

I rolled my eyes. "See what I have to put up with? Anyways, don't worry, I'll get this guy to take you back."

"I said I was eating!"

"Ya know," I turned to look at Deadpool again. "It's funny, I really don't care. Now get off your lazy ass and take her back."

"Sorry dude," the Merc smirked. "It has to recharge."

I facepalmed. Of course. "Alright fine, how long will it take?"

"A... week?"

I rubbed my temples.

"Well that explains why you didn't just teleport out of the straps (I'm looking at you Phantomwa1ker!)." I said, sighing. I turned back to Ruby, who had watched the exchange curiously. "Welp, looks like you're gonna be stuck here for a while, sorry."

Ruby sighed. "Th-that's fine, just... do you know what happened to the rest of my team?"

"I honestly have no-"

"WAIT."

I looked over at Deadpool.

"Never mind."

"I knew it."

"I'm kidding, I know what happened."

"Seriously?"

"Yes."

"I can't believe it."

"I know right?"

Deadpool looked at Ruby. "The most likely scenario is that they got left behind in your world and are wondering where you are (and probably giving you a funeral). The next and-"

"Wait," Ruby frowned. "What did you just say?"

"Nothing. The next and least likely scenario is that they got swept up with us, and got thrown into this world. If that's the case, I have no idea where they ended up."

Ruby winced. "Is there any way of knowing for sure...?"

Deadpool scratched his chin. Then he smiled. "Quite likely..."

"Deadpool..." I said, with a warning tone. He simply grinned at me.

"Let's go!"

"*Cough* Oh man, I really- *Cough* hate doing this..." Yin said, grimacing as he stepped out of the portal.

"I *Cough understand your pain. Here." Will said, coughing as well. He handed the blond an odd looking device. It was shaped like an egg, a perfect oval, and it had two buttons at the top. Yin pressed one and ran it over himself. It evaporated the dust, leaving his skin and his clothing so clean they looked brand new. He then pressed the other button and put it to his lips, gasping as the thing cleaned his lungs out.

"Thanks." he said, handing it back to Will, who proceeded to do the exact same thing. As Braxton came through the portal, Will tossed him the device. Braxton simply nodded at Will as Red came through, completely clean and unfazed by the whole thing. Yin shook his head at his brother.

"How do you do it?" Red glanced at him.

"Do what?"

"Come out of the portal clean!"

"Oh that..." Red grinned. "It's nothin'. No I seriously have no idea, maybe it just doesn't affect me."

"You give me that exact same answer and exact same grin every time."

"I know." Still grinning.

"Fuck you."

"I know." Now a wink.

Yin sighed and turned away. "How have I put up with you all these years?"

"Maybe it's since I'm the best here?" Red said, assembling a Glock.

"Ya know," Yin turned back to his brother. "We gotta have another match one of these days. All of us. I'm certain I've improved since the last time we fought." Red shrugged.

"Maybe." He swiftly loaded the pistol and swung around, bringing it to bear on his brother's forehead. Of course, Yin was already moving, ducking down and bringing his right hand up to grab the gun. His left hand grabbed Red's neck, giving him complete control.

"You're getting slow, Red." Yin said, grinning.

"Actually, I daresay it's the other way around." Red motioned to his right side. Yin looked down and sighed. Red was holding the Glock he had just assembled down at his side, aimed right at Yin's heart. Said man released his hold.

"Alright, alright, you win. Let's get onto the fun stuff, 'kay?" Yin said, putting his hands up in mock surrender.

"Gladly." Red looked to Braxton, who had completely ignored the whole previous exchange, and was cleaning a sniper rifle. "Braxton, are the guns set?"

He silently nodded, not taking his eyes off of the gun. Red then looked at Will, who was tinkering with one of their cars.

"Will?"

"Almost... done!" Will triumphantly stood up, only to bang his head on the open hood of the car.

"Ow... ow... but yeah- damn that hurt! -done."

"Good. Braxton, load up the vehicles, everyone else, let's get hunting!"

"Holy... what the hell... Ruby?" Yang wearily looked around. As her vision slowly came back into focus, she realized that she was in the middle of a field. She sniffed the air. She frowned.

"Where is this place...?"

There was a rustling sound from just beside her. She leapt to her feet, going automatically into a fighting stance. A dog looked curiously up at her. She sighed and smiled.

"Awww... who's a good boy... wait... WHAT THE HELL?!"

She jumped away from the dog, eyes wide, as she looked at her body. It didn't look... real. Neither did the dog. Said dog reacted to her reaction to him by also jumping back, barking his head off.

"Down boy!"

Yang whipped around, instantly shielding her eyes from a bright light.

"Miss? Excuse me but what are you doing out here...?" the light was lowered, revealing the face of a young man. He would've been quite handsome, except for the fact that he looked so... off.

"Miss?"

Yang scrambled for words. She found none.

"Miss, are you alright? Do you need an ambulance...?" the man reached towards her.

"S... stay away!" Yang said, backpedaling away from him. Unfortunately she tripped on a rock. Fortunately, the dog was there to break her fall. Unfortunately, the dog had some moves, and used them at that moment to get out from under the falling girl. As she hit the ground, Yang felt a sharp pain in the back of her head, then there was blackness, and no more weird looking dogs and people.

Alright! That's all for now, thanks for your patience guys. I've been really busy, and I keep getting sick for some reason.

You get sick 'cause of THIS DICK! OHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Also, thanks for your patience with Deadpool, he can be quite... vulgar at times.

What is this, sixteenth century England? Vulgar? And you swear plenty too. :(

Yes well, I swear at you, because you make me so weak-minded that swearing is the result.

Are you one of those people that think swearing is a sign of a week mind?

Yes. Yes I do.

Well I'll have you know, I gradutated ninth grad at the top of my class. And stop makign me spel thingz wrong.

I'm not doing anything, it's your "week mind".

Fuk you. GODDAMNIT.

Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed! Comments are appreciated, and since I'm really breaking the fourth wall, feel free to PM me some characters I should have "accidentally" warp into this world and mess around with us! Thanks!

Th-th-that's all folks!