"So that's it. And I'm leaving."
As Ziva said the final words, she watched him closely, looking for any facial tick, any pause in his motion, any tell that would give away his thoughts. With Gibbs, it was always a challenge to read him. Even with all of the years she had known him, she had only been able to tell what he was thinking when he wanted her to …usually just before they were going to storm a house to take down an offender or when she was with him as he was questioning a suspect…but at other times he could be an enigma…and that is exactly what he was right now.
Gibbs had not paused in the smooth movements he used to hand sand the side of his latest boat. With moves bourne from performing this same action millions of times, the hand sander glided across the surface of the hull in long smooth, strong, strokes.
Seconds ticked by. She should be used to this tactic by now. She had used it herself many times…just waiting someone out knowing that the person would eventually fill the silence … that people seemed to NEED to fill the void created by the expectation that someone had to speak. She resisted the urge to push him. Gibbs was a man who simply refused pushing. He continued to ignore her, seemingly focused on the task at hand. Minutes slipped by and the urge grew stronger to break the silence. Instead, she admired the movement of his muscles and the glimmer of his silver hair as the overhead light shone on his work area; she enjoyed the scent of the wood; and she let her mind drift to other times they had talked in his basement.
Years. She had known him for years. Had trusted her life to him. Had saved him as often as he'd saved her. "Speak damn it!" She shouted in her mind, attempting to will him to say something…anything. But if mind control worked on Leroy Jethro Gibbs, she would be amazed because in all these years if her thoughts had ever reached him, he'd never shown it.
Her hands longed to touch him as much as she longed for his embrace, to feel the strength of his hands wrapped around her, to feel his breath warm on her hair as he whispered that it would be ok, that he understood, or even that he didn't understand …anything, because she needed his touch this one last time. And it would be for the last time. Her mind was made up ….only fate could determine if they would see each other ever again. That thought made her think of the very first time she'd met him…decades ago.
Ziva had been 9, running around in the maze garden at the backyard of one of her father's homes. Bored, she'd left the house in search of adventure. As she stealthily threaded her way through the maze – something she'd done many times by the age of 9 – she'd come upon a man in camouflage crouching with a rifle. She assumed he was one of her father's soldiers sent to test her, but as she stared at the man's face, there was something striking about his jaw, the jut of his chin, the glint in his eyes. He smiled at her and put his finger to his lips. His rifle pointed down and away. Definitely NOT something one of her father's soldiers would do. REAL DANGER! It had been ingrained to never show fear, not to feel it, not to let it seep in because fear caused doubt and doubt lead to dead. So she smiled at him and in a move fast as lightening, she threw her hidden blade at him … her aim not yet perfected, it struck his shoulder, just high and to the left of his heart. She ran for her life. But he did not give chase. At 9 she knew she had not killed him. A shoulder wound would not kill unless you were left to bleed out. Using a different route to that spot, she quietly wound her way back, but there was no man, no knife, no blood and no trail to follow. He was good and that scared her. She did her best to quickly and carefully make her way back to the safety of the house and she never told a soul. Her father would be angry that she'd been afraid and who would believe her if there was no evidence to show.
More than a decade later, when she'd met that soldier again, it was his eyes that helped her recognize him. Gibbs' eyes bore into her in their first meeting when she was an adult, just as they'd burned his face into her memory as the knife sank into his flesh. And after all this time, surely he cared that she was leaving.
Gibbs stopped the sanding and removed his gloves and goggles. He'd seen this moment coming a year ago. Abby had seen it coming in a dream 3 months ago. At the time, Abby had come into his house at the wee hours of the morning flustered, crying ….waking him from his few hours of sleep and needing him to hold her. The dream was vivid, so real Abby was confused that it had actually just happened and she was worried about her "NCIS Family." She'd called it a premonition and begged Gibbs to avert it, prevent it, to refuse to allow it to happen. Abby then launched into a metaphysical discussion on the life cycle of some creature and then into free will, but she continued to press him to not let it happen. Gibbs had kissed her forehead, shushed her, rubbed her back. But he didn't offer the promise Abby wanted to hear... even when her eyes had watered and every fiber in his body screamed to make the world right for his Abby. No. Gibbs could not…would not promise her that he'd make Ziva stay. Every member of his team had to choose to stay or go and no matter what they chose, they owned the choice. Gibbs had never had to MAKE someone choose to work with him and he wasn't going to start. So Abby went to sleep nestled in the warmth and strength of him … certain of what was to come but without any assurances from Gibbs that intervention would work. He made Abby promise, swear on all that she held dear, not to tell anyone. No hints. No simple encrypted messages. Nothing. She had to let events unfold as they would without interference. Abby mumbled something about how she never liked the prime directive and grinned as Gibbs failed to recognize her allusion to Star Trek. She left hoping Gibbs would hold them all together.
Abby's dreams were rarely wrong and Gibbs intuition was usually right so he thought about it and waited for the inevitable. Ziva didn't know it, but Gibbs was well prepared for this moment and he knew that once Ziva had made her mind up, and told him she was going to go, there would be nothing he could say to deter her from her decision. Ziva had proven to him that she could be as stubborn as she was deadly. There was really only one thing he needed her to do.
"You tell him," he said. Not a question but a command.
She had anticipated this ….the exact words – a testament really to how well they knew each other – and yet she had no answer. There was no mistaking exactly who Gibbs meant. And heaven help her if she refused this command. Her eyes fixed to his chin, then made a slow journey to lips, nose and finally to his eyes. She could get lost in his eyes. But right now, those eyes were impenetrable windows to Gibbs' soul. Those eyes demanded things from her that Ziva was uncertain she could give. Leaving didn't mean she wanted to close every door behind her. Gibbs' door, she knew, would always be open. There would always be a spot at his table, in his home, in his heart… of that, Ziva was assured. Gibbs never turned his back on his friends nor his family … and Ziva knew she was somewhere in that short list of people who Gibbs cared for….would kill for. There were few secrets between them and even less that would be considered unforgiveable on either side. Gibbs could accept leaving, and somewhere in the back of her mind, she began to think he may have even anticipated this moment. He knew her too well, had not appeared surprised, didn't question why. Those eyes may not have told her much, but his actions…this demand told her a bit. Yes. Someone would not take her leaving well at all, but she didn't know what to say to him that would change that fact.
They stared at each other, the room silent and still around them, except for the electrical hum from the lighting over the boat…making the basement take on the feel on an interrogation room. This moment…possibly her last moment with him weighed heavy on her heart. She could feel the mirror Gibbs was holding up to her soul, how it reflected everything she'd done, every word she'd said…Gibbs, her own personal gatekeeper between heaven and hell, demanding that last act of her before he would let her pass down the path she'd chosen.
The door above them opened and closed and then the stairs creaked. Ziva glanced in the direction of the noise, but she already knew who was coming down the stairs…the pattern of the footfalls and the scent of his cologne giving him away.
"Hey boss, I just thought I'd come over and…." Before he could complete the sentence, Tony felt the tension in the room as it rippled and crackled. "Well," he said, stopping on the last stair. "What am I interrupting? And don't tell me 'nothing' because it's definitely 'something.' So spill."
Tony glanced from Gibbs to Ziva and then settled his eyes on her.
"Boss, if you want me to go I will. You two seem to have some unfinished discussion going on here. I'll just leave the bagels upstairs …or…" Tony let the end of the sentence trail off, once again pissed to be on the outside of an obviously tense talk between Gibbs and Ziva. Everybody had secrets. That he could accept. But the fact that Gibbs and Ziva had a few SHARED secrets…secrets that neither one of them seemed willing to share with him…that he couldn't accept. THAT pissed him off every time something like this reminded him of that he would forever be the one on the outside looking in, part of the team, but the only one who didn't know the secret handshake.
Gibbs relaxed his posture, taking the tension in the room down several notches. He flipped his goggles back into place and went back to his boat, to the calm he experienced whenever he sanded. He'd read in Ziva's eyes that she understood the message of "tell him."
Ziva felt the loss of Gibbs focus… a slight indication of what it would feel like to be bereft of him…as she watched him return to a task he'd done before he knew her and would probably continue long after she became a distant memory.
Although in the future, she might look upon this moment and think herself brave – for ripping the band aid off the wound quickly, experiencing the painful sting rather than prolong it – in her heart, Ziva knew that she was not prepared to talk to Tony alone, so she opted for the coward's way out –using Gibbs as a buffer.
With one last look at Gibbs, she turned her face into Tony's direction. "Tony, I'm leaving."
In his career, Tony had read enough faces, gestures, tones of voice to make him an exceptional profiler, but even without that, he could read his co-workers, his partner, a woman who had once been his lover. He'd had years of figuring out Ziva and this time he didn't like what he saw. Her words held a finality, her posture screamed resignation, determination….a path chosen. And it was déjà vu. A wave of pain cascaded over him, but he pushed it back with denial, with anger…with the refuge of humor.
"Ok. So I'll see you at work tomorrow. Hey don't forget we have that thing with HR...you know, the one we've missed a few times. Becky will be PRETTY mad if we aren't all there for it…"
"No. Tony," Ziva interrupted his ramble. "I'm leaving and I will not be back."
Tony wiped his hand down his face, half hoping this was a 3 stooges movie and at some point the laugh track would cue. Gripping his chin as he angled his head to the floor, shielding his eyes and wondering why this was happening. He took a breath, forcing his muscles to contract and then ease under his soft turtleneck sweater. Control. He fought for it and then returned his eyes to Ziva's face.
"Excuse me, but it just sounded like you said you're going and not coming back."
"It did Tony because that's what I said," Ziva replied softly. "The cat is now out of the house. I've been thinking about this for a while."
"What the fuck do you mean Ziva? The last time you did something like this I risked my life going to the desert to find you. Look I understand daddy issues…believe me ….I REALLY understand daddy issues… but if this is another 'make daddy proud' mission…"
"DON'T!" Ziva yelled, cutting Tony off. "Don't. You. Ever. Bring. Up. My. Father." Ziva spit each word out carefully, slowly. The wound of her father's death was still too fresh….and probably would stay that way her whole life. He had no right – no right at all – to bring up her father.
Instantly they were toe to toe – her plain black t-shirt against Tony's sweater – their hearts pounding.
"We're partners Ziva. PARTNERS! When were you planning to tell me? Or were you going to do the ninja thing and just slink out and have Gibbs do the dirty work of telling us? Or maybe you were going to send us a card from somewhere?"
The hurt in his voice was unmistakable, palpable. Although Gibbs would help pick up the pieces, he wasn't going to watch Tony break apart. He would not be a bystander while the man he considered a son was broken by the woman who had been a constant in Tony's life. Gibbs would not be a witness as she walked away for yet another time. No man needed witnesses to his heart breaking.
Flipping up his goggles Gibbs growled, "OUT THE BOTH OF YOU!"
In unison, they turned to face him, neither one wanting to leave, he could read it on their faces – Tony's hope that he and Gibbs could prevent her leaving and Ziva's fear of saying goodbye to Tony alone without Gibbs as a buffer.
Gibbs pointed toward his staircase, and in a voice that would brook no argument, Gibbs barked, "NOW. Get moving."
Ziva started toward Gibbs, but his slight head shake "no" halted her. She grabbed her jacket off the chair and walked slowly up the stairs. Tony looked at Gibbs and mouthed "V4D5" before turning and bolting up the stairs after her.
Gibbs flipped his phone and sent out a pre-programmed text message. Then he went to his workbench and took out his bottle of whiskey. Turning over a small cup that held bolts, he dumped them out and poured himself a shot of the liquid. The familiar burn trailed down his throat and settled in his gut.
There were six reasons a man would go into the desert to get a person. For country – as a marine, Gibbs understood the need to defend one's country. A soldier would go where the country needed him. Number 2: For God – he'd seen jihadists who would do anything for Allah. Third, to repay a dept – Gibbs still had a few close friends who had saved his bacon and if they ever decided to call him to return the favor, he certainly would. Next was revenge. Revenge was a hell of a driver and Gibbs was no stranger to going after a man, following him to another country to kill him. Fifth would be the mercenary who would go anywhere for the money and/or the thrill. The sixth and last reason though, was the reason Tony had gone after Ziva – to protect someone you love.
There was no doubt that Tony loved Ziva. For years, Gibbs had turned a blind eye to them, ignoring the tells that they were closer than people who worked together and definitely not "sibling" close.
Gibbs shook his head. He didn't want to have to do any more covert rescue ops. He'd called in all kinds of favors to help Tony rescue Ziva the last time.
One thing was certain. Where Ziva went, Tony would follow like a moth to a flame. When would that boy learn that if you chase a woman but she won't stay caught, a man needed to let that woman go. Ziva was not an easy woman to love as Tony had discovered, at which point Tony had decided to love her from a distance. The uneasy dance between the two of them was painful for Gibbs to watch. Ziva responded to a firm hand, one capable of tenderness as well as discipline – which was totally at war with her need to be her own person. Tony on the other hand needed the certainty of trust and the only way to get to all the layers of Tony would be to pass the trust tests for each level.
With the alcohol safely settled into his system, Gibbs returned to his sanding.
As Tony reached the tops of the stairs, Ziva was waiting, silent and watchful. Tony walked past her into Gibbs' living room and crossed to the liquor cabinet, grabbing two glasses. Taking the hint and grateful to have this discussion in a neutral location, Ziva went to Gibb's kitchen table, pulled out a chair and took a seat. Tony selected one of the more expensive bottles - something Gibbs' had probably received as a gift. Taking the dusty bottle, he rummaged through a drawer to locate a corkscrew and swiftly used it to open the bottle. He poured them each a half glass.
He handed a glass to a pensive Ziva, pasted a smile on his face and said, "Here's looking at you kid." They clinked glasses. The drink was smooth, tasty, but in seconds, she knew something was wrong. Her face turned angry as her eyes began to lose focus. "Tony…what..did…" The words slurred out of her mouth, making her mind register how fast-acting this drug was – whatever he'd given her. She attempted to stand, to run, but her legs were not moving. She flung herself from the chair, thinking to crawl to a door ….something…thoughts…not…
Her hand moved toward her gun…where it should be…. but Tony was faster – much faster.
"Hate me for this later," he said – though sounding to Ziva as if he were mumbling five show tunes at once while under water.
She blinked once, twice ... and then a few times rapidly, attempting to fight the drug …to stay conscious. But her sheer force of will was not enough. Her head lolled, her vision faded to black and within seconds, she was out.
Tony made quick work of stripping her of weapons – his ninja partner was nothing if not prepared – but seriously six guns was overkill. Tony did an additional pass to include any innocent looking items that could be used for improvised close combat because she just might kill him for this.
Tony was removing her wallet and passport and stashing them into his pockets when Gibbs walked up and surveyed the scene.
"The van will be here in 5. You sure about this Tony?"
"Yes Boss."
Slowly, Ziva awakened but she kept her eyes shut and continued breathing deeply as if asleep, stilling her muscles and using her other senses to take in her surroundings – a tactic she'd learned when she was 5 and scared of what the day might bring. A "sleeping" child might surprise a kidnapper, but a noisy one had no advantage.
An inhale brought a fragrant hint to the sea …and bacon. A hot breeze warmed her body and she was on a soft bed. She forced her mind to turn to the last things she could remember – Gibbs ….Tony….drink….everything fading to black. Damn him.
A chair creaked.
"Get up you little faker. I saw your eyes flutter and then you grimaced. I know you're awake." Tony's familiar voice ….a voice she'd miss. How could she have been so careless to let him drug her? If her father were alive right now, he'd ….he'd… But he wasn't alive and she should have known better. How many times had she been told to trust no one? But Tony wasn't a "no one." He slipped past all of her training. He was too close, too dangerously close. And heaven help her, she wanted him closer.
"Come closer Tony."
"Were you seriously going to leave me without telling me?" The chair creaked again. He'd shifted position to sit back into the old wicker tall back chair. His hands rested casually on the arms of the chair, giving him the look of a casual vacationer.
"Of course not Tony." She opened her eyes and saw him 8 feet away in the chair, looking calm, until she looked into his eyes where a storm raged. Automatically, her mind calculated a dozen ways to be on him in 5 to 10 seconds depending upon her method of approach. In her periphery she identified a few possible weapons. From the shadows, she estimated the time of day. All of this while also listening for his heart rate to determine the level of the storm in his eyes.
"You know, I think that's a lie and every time you lie to me there will be consequences. So right now, I suggest you stop lying to me. It's just the two of us so tell me the truth Ziva. You know how to tell the truth right?" The baritone with bite … Tony's livid voice.
"You can't handle the truth," she whispered. Suddenly, her throat was dry but she managed a wry smile at answering a movie line with a movie line – a game she and Tony had played many times.
Ziva turned her face away from his stare and flexed her wrists. She didn't want it to be this way. And no, she hadn't planned to tell anyone. She wanted Gibbs to do the dirty work of seeing the looks on people's faces, the confusion, the loss. She had grown too close to everyone for this not to hurt them…and to hurt her. Where had the cold killer gone? No where. Still there, just below the surface was the rage. Even through the soft work of NCIS, Ziva managed to keep her skills sharp, to challenge herself – and yet with Tony, in Gibbs house, she was like a new operative. Damn. What had he given her?
That's when Ziva noticed that her ankles were restrained too. She whipped her head to look at him.
"Release me Tony."
"Answer me sweetheart. Were you really going to leave without telling me?"
Ziva gave a heavy exaggerated sigh. "So you drugged me and have me tied to a bed so we could play interrogation Tony? Kinky! But why don't you release me so we can have more fun hmmm?" Ziva sensually flicked her tongue around her lips to moisten them. Dirty tricks deserved dirty tricks …although seducing Tony now… would be only to pay him back for drugging her. The glint in her eyes must be giving her away as Tony didn't budge…didn't blink.
Ziva could feel the heat of his anger beginning to roll off of him. Maybe she could use this to her advantage if she pushed him a little more. "I mean isn't that what you want, a last bit of Hebrew pussy before I go? That's what has your ego in a twist? That I was going to leave without allowing you one last fuck? Are you too weak a man to handle me when I'm not tied up Tony? Is it the only thing you can do to try to get into my pants again? Be a man and untie me Tony."
He growled at her…one of the most feral sounds she'd ever heard him make. The air between them sizzled and Tony's grip tightened on the arms of the chair. Tony looked tense – a viper posed to strike..and then she watched as he slowly eased his grip on the arms of the charm, bringing his hands up to his lips and steepling them. Lowering his head for a few moments, he shielded his eyes from her and inhaled. Tony lowered his hands to his lap and lifted his head, revealing a cruel, detached smile.
Ziva watched his tongue slide across his lips, wetting them and in turn causing her panties to moisten. She was well-acquainted with the talents of his fantasy-worthy mouth. Her eyes focused on his lips and the slow sweep of this tongue.
With a deep in hale and an exhale, Tony spoke.
"Answer me sweetheart. Were you really going to leave without telling me?"
Continue the lie or the truth will set you free? Slowly sweeping her eyes from his mouth, she glanced at him for other tells but she didn't want to be an operative right now. Oh the coward in her was all for continuing the lie, disabling him and heading away as far and as fast and she could to avoid the pain in his eyes and the ache in her soul about leaving. Ziva had prepared to fade away…maybe sending him a card or checking on him when she could, but face to face, saying the words "I'm leaving" to Tony had never been part of the plan. Ziva flexed her hands and feet and rolled her hips. Her best laid plans had come to the very things she'd wanted to avoid. Murphy was an evil bastard with evil laws that had blown the slink away plan to bits and since avoidance was no longer an option, she would do what she had to do. She'd be a woman saying goodbye to a man she deeply cared about – only not in this position and not solely on Tony's terms. She sniffed and her stomach growled.
"Tony, I would like bacon before my confession. I promise the truth, but I need something to eat to offset the effects of whatever drug you gave me."
Tony cocked his head and squinted his eyes at her. He knew for a fact that his ninja was tricky but a stomach growl wasn't easily faked. Shaking his head he got up from the chair and crossed to the door and left without looking back. He knew it would only take her minutes to free herself. She should already recognize the island and know there was no escape until a plane came for them, so he wasn't worried she'd escape…improvised weapons to incapacitate him…those he worried about. Ziva was all about the payback, he grimaced …but what could hurt worse than a broken heart? Nothing she could do could hurt more than her just slipping away from him…and that thought, the thought that she really had planned to slip away, made hurt bloom fresh inside Tony, adding another layer to the wall of pain building around his heart. Damn it but he wanted to tan her hide for making him feel this way. He had half a mind to walk right back into that bedroom and spank her hard….but when he was this angry, Tony didn't trust himself. Deep breaths. He needed deep breaths as he started plating food for his ninja.
Although he was gone less than 5 minutes, he's not at all surprised to find her sitting on the bed minus the restraints when he returns with the tray of juice, eggs and bacon and a Danish.
"Is that drugged too?" Ziva asks. As she eyes the tray, Ziva rubs her wrists, soothing kinks.
Rather than answer, Tony munches a piece of bacon and sips the juice. He makes a big show of swallowing and opens his mouth wide to show he hasn't hidden food in his cheeks. Then he pushes the tray into her hands. "You're welcome."
Ziva's sigh is heavy with meaning. "Thank you Tony." She digs in to the food, barely tasting all of the special seasonings that Tony used while cooking it. Tony watches. He's seen her eat like this many times….always as if the food will be taken away from her at any moment….probably because she's lived through situations where that's happened. It used to frighten Tony when he considered all of the things Ziva has lived through, but his ninja is a survivor. Thank God she is a lethal survivor.
Tony goes back to the chair and waits.
It takes Ziva very little time to finish eating. She puts the tray on the floor and leans back on the bead, against the pillows. She closes her eyes and thinks…remembering when she first met Tony.
She'd pegged him as a typical American frat boy…one she could twist around her fingers with sexual innuendos. He was tall and good looking, but he was a dumb jock…Gibbs' muscle boy….and not much else. She had him totally profiled and …. She couldn't have been more wrong. How had her intel been so wrong about him? He hadn't trusted her …at ALL. Despite Gibbs, Tony had watched her. And at the same time, he concealed himself, feeding her stories, deflecting her questions with lecherous comebacks. He was an oversexed movie geek…he was Gibbs' loyal dog ….he was a skirt chaser …he was a tormentor to McGee. That's what her intel said and that is exactly what he appeared to be. And the whole time she assumed there was no intent to his comments, nothing other than the surface. For a little while she had been a fool and Gibbs had let her wallow in her beliefs about Tony.
Ziva opens her eyes and looks at Tony. She giggles to herself. This man is none of those vapid personas he plays so well. The fact that he loves movies should have been her first clue that he was acting. But right now, Tony is serious and real. It's taken Ziva years to learn the ins and outs of the real Tony and right now the real Tony is really pissed.
Ziva can't blame him. If the situation were reversed…Just the thought of that causes an ache deep in the pit of her soul.
"Tony I'm sorry."
Tony opens his arms and in seconds Ziva is in his lap. He hugs her tightly to his broad, firm body and buries his nose in the sweet spot of her neck and whispers, "I know sweetheart" against her sensitive skin. Tony absorbs the first telltale shudder and then holds her tightly as the shudders continue. Her tears wet the front of his polo shirt and he doesn't care. They need this – Ziva the release and Tony the ease of his fears.
Ziva coughs and sniffles and the shudders lessen as she attempts to regain composure. All the while, Tony murmurs words against her neck – some in English, some in Italian and a few in Hebrew – as he holds her close and keeps her safe. His firm grip is intense…comforting and the hand on her ass is squeezing. Ziva's head falls back as Tony's mouth nibbles along the sweet spot on her neck….sending shivers that race along her nerve endings all the way to her clit. This man! Ziva knows she is in too deep with him. When did he become a part of her? She's never been able to pinpoint the exact moment. All she knows is that Tony holds a piece of her soul and even if she could, she can't take it back, doesn't want it back.
With abandon, she moves his lips from her neck and places his mouth firmly onto hers…and then she's on fire! A kiss from anyone else has never felt as good as Tony's lips…his tongue…his fucking magical tongue is demanding everything from her and she does not want to deny him. Fuck! This is NOT how it's supposed to happen.
Ziva jumps off his lap. This is why she couldn't tell him in person! Damn it!
Just as quickly he grabs her back, his chest heaving and fire in his eyes.
"No! You will NOT run from this! From US!" Tony'shouting startles her. Controlled Tony is what everyone sees. He is careful not to lose his shit around anyone, including Ziva, but now Tony looks wild – borderline insane.
"Let me go Tony! Don't make me hurt you." Ziva lashes out as she tries to evade Tony's grappling hands.
"Nothing could hurt worse than you leaving and not telling me Ziva!" Tony shouts as he stands up. There. He's said it. He puts his hands up and steps away from her. Tony walks toward the window and stares out onto the beautiful view of the beach below and tries to pull back to the controlled center of himself. Deep breaths. Why? Why does this woman have the power to cut him so deeply? He's tried….really tried to find someone who will love him back, but it's true….the heart wants what the heart wants. Fine. He should let her go….should never have brought her here. Damn it!
Ziva watches his back, still stunned.
"You made a pinky swear to me Ziva that you would be my partner. Partner's don't run out on each other like a thief in the night Ziva. So …I…repeat. When were you planning to tell me you were leaving?"
The truth hurts. They both know this fact. Ziva hovers over whispering 'never' but that truth should not be spoken, not here, not now. And as much as the truth hurts, a lie to Tony would hurt worse, would cut both of them deeper. So Ziva speaks no words for now. Instead she wraps her arms around Tony's back and hugs him, letting the love she has for him flow between them.
She thinks back to that first stake out where they posed as a couple. Everyone thought she and Tony were having sex, when in fact, they were talking while a sex tape ran. Abby had spliced in their voices making sex noises and she and Tony had competed for who could make the most outrageous sex sounds. It was then that they had promised to be partners, when Tony jokingly held out his pinky and said, "So smartass, it looks like we are stuck together working for Gibbs. He trusts you. So pinky swear that you'll be a partner I can trust." And just like that, Ziva had given him her pinky finger. At the time, it seemed a silly child's thing to do ….exactly what she expected from the arrested development mind of Tony. Later she recognized that she should take nothing with Tony at face value. That small pinky swear meant so much….too much.
Ziva stops those thoughts as Tony turns in the circle of her arms to face her. She lifts her face and Tony cups her chin and kisses her lips. He searches her eyes and to Ziva it feels as if he can truly see her soul. In moments like this she knows there is nothing she can hide from him. Her training as an operative fades away and there is just the two of them….no dangers, no missions, nothing but a woman and a man who care for each other deeply.
Ziva backs away and begins to slowly unbutton her shirt. She slips it over her shoulders. Next to go is the bra and then the pants and the underwear. Tony watches avidly, his eyes caress her every curve.
Naked, Ziva walks back to him, kneels and undoes his pants, sliding them down to the floor along with his boxers. The scent that is distinctly Tony drifts to her nostrils. Damn she loves the way he smells! He steps out of the pants with her help and flings his shirt off, not caring where in the room it lands.
For a moment, neither of them says a word because they both fear breaking the spell that is weaving around them right now.
Tony is a big man – big all over – and a big part of him is happy to see Ziva. She licks her lips, anticipating the flavor that is uniquely Tony. As she looks up into Tony's eyes, she realizes that tasting him will have to wait as the need she sees there mirrors her own.
As Ziva stands, Tony traces a finger down her arm and says, "Race you to the bed."
Ziva softly laughs, her breath warm against Tony's chest. He scoops her up into his arms, carries her to the bed and gently places her in the middle – and puts himself just a bit lower. "I guess this means I win," he whispers against her navel, and then trails kisses down to her thighs.
"What would you like as your prize Tony," Ziva breathily replies. She parts her legs, making a place for Tony to move between them.
Tony pauses in his trail of kisses and looks up to Ziva's eyes. "You are my prize, Ziva. Only you. Always you. Tesoro."
Ziva's heart races – not just from Tony's words – but he also punctuates them by putting his magical tongue to work to please her, show her, prove to her that to him she is a treasure beyond measure.
Tony spreads the delicate lips of her pussy wide so that her thatch of curly hair can no longer hide her pink, wet, throbbing clit. Exposed, it seems to pulse even harder, tapping out a rhythm that begs for Tony's talented tongue. The seconds of waiting to feel him lick her most sensitive spot seems like forever….and then she feels the tip of his tongue make the first firm swipe just to the left of her clit and then to the right of it. It is pleasure and the sweetest torture all at the same time.
Tony feasts on her swollen clit. Ziva's finger twist in his hair and her heels dig in to the bed. She hisses and then shouts a loud, long yes as Tony shifts to use one hand to keep her spread for him and the other hand to finger her wet, juicy pussy, spearing just one finger and then adding another.
Ziva thrashes against the bed bouncing them, creating a beat that is driving Tony insane. His big, thick, cock pushes further into the mattress and leaks pre-cum onto the soft blanket. He curves his fingers and then Ziva is screaming in Hebrew. It feels like she is pulling his hair out by the roots, but Tony DOES NOT CARE! He hums and sucks her clit and then he can feel her body tense. He lifts his head for a few seconds to whisper nasty words of encouragement … the filthy things Ziva loves to hear from his lips. She's just about to cum.
Tony's tongue strokes her as his fingers ...oh FUCK his fingers…and then Ziva cannot form any thoughts. She rides the sensations, muscles tensing and flexing, hips thrusting. She pushes her head back against the mattress which arcs her needy pussy more forcefully against Tony's thrusting fingers and magical mouth . Ziva opens her mouth and screams as her body quakes and her pussy spasms around Tony's fingers.
Every drag of his fingers, stroke of his tongue … brings new shudders of ecstasy until slowly he slides them from her dripping wet pussy. Tony places sweet kisses against her shaking thighs. When he blows a puff of warm air across her clit, Ziva shudders a bit more and begins to release her grip on Tony's hair. At this moment, all is right with the world and a part of Ziva wishes it could always be like this – she and Tony on a secluded island with all their favorite foods to eat, films to watch, fucking like rabbits ….and firearms. She giggles to herself over the four F's: food, films, fucking and firearms. That is all she would need to be happy with Tony ….just him and four things…if only life were that simple.
Absentmindedly, Ziva strokes his hair as her breathing slows to normal from the exhilarating Tony face-ride. Face Ride?! Those words make her giggle softly again.
Tony has never known what Ziva giggles about just after he's made her cum, but he can't help the grin that comes with the knowledge that a) he can make her cum; b) it's all him that makes her giggle with happiness when she's known so little of happiness in her life; and c) that she's his.
The desire this time is overwhelmingly strong to leave a permanent mark on her so that everyone will know she belongs to him. Where is a branding iron when you need one? Barring that, it's enough right now for Tony to know he has her right where he wants her.
He should be mad at her… FURIOUS! He should be throwing a monster-sized fit. Goodness knows he'd watched some champion drama queens parade through his father's life – all of whom had given him a front row seat at how to dig the emotional knife deep and twist it in for that extra millimeter of pain. But no. This woman - she reaches for the edges of his carefully built façade and yanks! From the beginning, he knew his ninja would be trouble. He'd dreamed of her long before he met her.
All Tony wants is to stick his dick so deep into her that she will never let him go.
Tony is wrapped up his thoughts and the demanding pulsing of his cock…and he almost doesn't hear Ziva whisper, "I love you so much." Almost. But he does hear and in an instant he is on top of her hugging her to him. She shifts and makes a place for him between her thighs. Her lips are at his ear as she clings to him….so tightly. And for both of them, this feels so right, so perfect ….skin to skin, heart to heart.
They cling to each other and the love they feel washes over them in an infinity of silent "I love you's."
They pull apart briefly to stare into each others eyes and then Tony leans up and positions his cock at the entrance of her wet, juicy pussy, pushing aside the patch of damp curls that conceal her most intimate place. He tips his head angling it as a means of asking the question about protection …and Ziva nods in agreement. For the first time, Tony slides into her without any barriers between them. He hisses out a sigh as her pussy first tightens against his invasion and then sucks him deep and holds him like a velvet vice. Beneath him, Ziva's heart flutters and Tony continues to push deep, deep, deep into her throbbing pussy until she feels his bals pushed against her and his thatch of wiry hair scrapes against her already sensitive clit. The moment makes her shiver. Her whole body tingles and she shakes with the knowledge that she is completed filled with Tony – all of her senses, all of her mind, all of her body, all of her heart … and all of her soul.
Tony makes love to his woman.. and yes after today she will FUCKING KNOW that she is HIS! Releasing the breath that he was holding as he slid deep into her, Tony swivels his hips, grinding against her clit and stimulating the lips of her sex. Then he levers up on his arms and drags his thick cock along her sensitive walls until the tip remains captive in her throbbing wet pussy before he slams his cock home again. He watches Zivas eyes grow wide, her mouth forms an "Oh" and she blinks rapidly up at him.
Inwardly, Tony pats himself on the back. THAT got her attention!
He sets up a combination of grinding, shallow thrusts and hard slams … all of which drive Ziva out of her mind. Using her powerful thighs, she drives up to stroke his cock with her clasping pussy … that sucks him deep where she wants him, needs him. Her moans and demands that he fuck her hard become higher pitched, more frantic. Her hands will leave bruises, her nails marks …reminders of the fierceness of their passion.
They goad Tony into the driving piston rhythm he knows she loves. His cock strokes her expertly, he pauses in his nasty whispers to wrap his lips around a bobbing nipple. He lightly closes his teeth over it and Ziva screams. Her pussy convulses around his thick dick and her back arches as she quivers violently.
Tony uses his body to press her deeply into the mattress so that Ziva can safely fly apart. The feeling of being surrounded by Tony gives her the freedom to just feel, to ride out her orgasm. She bites into his shoulder, further connecting them and shudders and twitches... her body spasms and jerks….her pussy squeezes around Tony's still hard cock, battering it with the vibrations of her explosive orgasm, taunting him to follow her into sexual bliss.
Slowly, so slowly, her twitching slows and she comes back to herself and she realizes that Tony isn't humming in her ear. He is saying words. He is saying, "I love you Ziva and you are mine" ….over and over again….a chant…a declaration …a
Before she can form any other thoughts, he flexes his cock in her pussy … and she almost can't believe that her greedy pussy wants more …wants everything Tony has to give. And then it hits her…SHE wants everything Tony has to give …the movies…the pranks…the…the everything. She stares into the eyes of the man she loves. This man..who belongs to her… who is everything she wants. The realization causes her eyes to soften as she basks in the knowledge that he is not just her partner, he is her everything.
Tony leans back and begins slow hard thrusts that punctuate his words. "I" thrust "love" withdraw …
With each word he feels the tingle race down his spine and his balls tighten … painfully. When he gets to the word "mine" Tony screams it and shoves his cock deep into his woman. She meets his thrust and begins to cum again as Tony cock pulses deep inside her.
Still inside her, Tony rolls them until Ziva is on top and he squeezes her to him. He cradles her head and places it in the hollow of his shoulder. He pants from exertion and his cock slowly softens.
"Ziva, I love you and you are mine." Tony kisses her hair and rubs his hands down her back. He says a silent prayer to the universe and then lays himself open.
He nudges Ziva so that she is looking at him. With his hands on each side of her face, Tony looks directly into her eyes.
"Ziva. My ninja. Go do what you have to do I would never stop you from something you feel you have to do and I will always have your back. But Ziva, never leave me. My heart won't survive it Ziva. Don't walk out. Don't walk away. Don't forget where home is. Pinky swear that you will come home to me …or you call me if you need help finding the way."
Tony moves his hands from her face and then Tony holds out his pinky.
Ziva's eyes mist over. How could she have so cowardly thought to walk out on Tony? Shakily, she smiles. She moves and angles herself to straddle Tony's waist. She holds up her pinky finger and links it with his.
The world is uncertain and they both know that pinky swears do not stop bullets or knives or terrorists. Still, if there is a god in the universe …
They both smile, impossibly silly grins that turn into belly laughs. Tony feels good, whole. Gone is the livid , bitter feeling he had over Ziva's plan to just slip away from him. He grips her tight and belly laughs, which makes Ziva bounce around on top of him …and she laughs long and hard right along with Tony.
As the giggles subside, the emergency phone in the cabin rings. They each yell their favorite swear word and scramble into action. Hand signals to each other indicate that Tony will grab the phone while Ziva gets prepared. Ziva pulls on clothes while Tony grabs a gun and pants and runs to the phone.
The caller ID indicates the call is from Gibbs' satellite phone. Shit! Tony picks up the phone on the 5th ring. There are no pleasantries and Gibbs wastes no time on idle chatter. The message is brief and Tony can hear a chopper before it's over. Ziva tosses shoes and gear to him. In the space of the short call, his ninja is already outfitted and her hair is tied back under a black skull cap.
Ziva estimates the distance of the chopper to their location as Tony scrambles into the gear. It is good that the island is almost bathed in darkness and that they never turned on lights in the cabin. Using hand signals, they sneak into the underground bunker and into the secret tunnels on the island. Tony barely controls blurting out that he never liked the Home Alone movie franchise and likes even less having post sex bliss interrupted by people who want to kill them.
Instead, in whispers, as they move away from the cabin, Tony tells Ziva the message from Gibbs.