Questions: Rayleigh to Roger

The shot glass full of whiskey clinks as he sets it down, the taste of cinnamon burning on his tongue. It's quiet, other than the mindless chatter of a few customers seats away and the sound of Shakky scrubbing the bar counter.

He taps his fingers, grabbing his glass a second later and swishing around the amber liquid. It feels like a storm is coming. That feeling rumbling in his old bones and the need of adventure tugging in his chest, making himself sick with the thought of it. An adventure wouldn't be the same without his captain - even though he knows that his captain would encourage that need.

Would say something along the lines of: "Hey Rayleigh! Why are you sittin' back and letting adventures pass you by! I know you still have some life in those old bones of yours!"

Rayleigh smiles, seeing the sea and a ship full of his comrades behind his eyelids. He frowns, sitting the liquid down.

Even now, he remembers his captain's smile, and his laugh. His smile was a bright curve of lips, seemingly gleaming, while his laugh was a hardy thing that he would roar in the midst of a storm, or when gathered around the galley table.

Sometimes, Rayleigh thinks he can still hear it. On the wind, or late at night asleep (a rare thing – you couldn't have lived a life like his and sleep easy). On his cot. The things is, he knows that he can hear it, knows that he's not slipping like Shakky secretly thinks he is.

The sounds faded from his ears, but he can still hear it.

Even now, years later, old bones and back problems, Rayleigh can still hear his old crew and his captain's words. He hasn't seen many members of his crew since they split up. His eyes meet Shakky's from across the room, the sides of her mouth pulling up briefly before putting her lit cigarette back between her lips and adding pressure onto the rag, trying to get rid of a hard spot on the counter.

He sighs quietly, not making any noticeable sound to alert bystanders or Shakky who gives him a worried glance, seemingly knowing him like the back of her scarred hands.

"Rayleigh!" He can hear his captain, always screaming his name in either happiness or determination, a few times even in fear.

It reminds the old pirate of the night his captain demanded his audience, in his usual fashion being a cheerful smile - but hidden seriousness in his dark eyes. He remembers exhaling in front of his captain's door, sensing something was wrong for months, his hands trembling before he tightened them into fists, sake on his tongue from where he worried the bottle half the night. Remembers the odd glances he received from his crew when they were in the galley.

He reached out and grasped the handle, it felt like the beginning of the end as he opened the door. Roger was sitting in his favorite chair - his captain swore it was made especially for him. It was made by their shipwright for conquering his first island. His captain's hands were clasped, a worried look on his face while he stared holes into the floor boards. The shadows in the room were clouding around him.

Roger looked up, slower than usual. What really scared Rayleigh, made something shoot up his spine and had a cold sweat break across the back of his neck and back causing his shirt to cling to him, was that his captain wasn't smiling nor grinning. Not even a small twitch of lips. He knows this, because his eyes were trying to find a trace of such a thing, looking his captain's face over with wide eyes.

"Rayleigh," Roger said quietly, circles under his eyes and crow's feet on the corners. He looked like he was dying.

Rayleigh didn't know how right he was.

"Come sit with me." His captain patted the seat next to him, every move his captain did, everything he said, was lethargic. Weighed down, slow and tired.

Rayleigh complied. His knees bent, hands on the very same knees and lips down. He remembers how a new scar he got, the now faded thing behind his knee and stretching up his thigh, was brushing uncomfortably against the fabric of his pants'? Shorts? He's starting to slip...

"What's this about Roger?" Rayleigh remembers asking, voice soft and quiet even to his own ears. His captain looked at him, really looked, before looking down at the floor with his black hair hanging at the sides.

"I'm dying partner, and there's no fixin' it." Roger said. Rayleigh remembers feeling his eyes widen, shock spreading through every limb and inch of his body. He swallowed.

"Maybe we-"

"No." Roger said, looking him dead in the eyes. He had the eyes of a man who knew he was going to die. Rayleigh never did see fear in his captain's dark eyes during that moment. "Doc said there's no cure. Hasn't even been able to identify exactly what's making me sick."

Rayleigh followed his captain's movement, being that his eyes were on the floor boards with his back hunched over. He remembers how he wanted to beat the stupidity out of his captain, out of their doctor nakama. How he wanted to go out on deck and scream the unfairness of it all. How he wanted to argue with god and foolishly believe that they could fix it, that his captain wasn't going to die. That his captain would beat death like he did so many times before. He wanted to recklessly attack a Marine Base and kill every one of them even if they had nothing to do with it. He wanted to continue adventuring. He wanted to tell everyone of their crew mates and see if anyone had an idea of what to do. He wanted to take his captains place.

Above all, he wanted to vomit and lie down in his cot with every sake bottle on board and cry.

"I'm scared Rayleigh." His captain admitted, pinching the bridge of his nose while looking at the floor and giving a shaky sigh. Rayleigh wondered why his captain would fear death. How the man who had so many close calls and laughed in deaths-

"I don't know what'll happen to you guys,'"

At the admittance, Rayleigh closed his eyes to avoid seeing the fear in his captain's eyes. "I know you can take care of yourselves, but Shanks and Buggy?"

Another shaky sigh. "I don't know what to do Rayleigh." His captain finished. Rayleigh tried to swallow the sore lump in his throat away.

He remembered how he wanted to say to his captain- his captain who always turned to him, his right-hand, "I don't know captain. I don't know and I'm afraid."

Instead he said: "We'll figure it out, captain. We always do." He said, hands on his captain's shoulder. His captain- Roger- still looked worried, but he smiled and chuckled.

"Aye, aye, Rayleigh!"

After his captain died, he had questions, understandably. For his passed captain, for the government, for god, for whatever ruler moved the pieces and made a human being like Gol D. Roger only to kill him and break up a family, to change people.

To leave behind a son.

Everything happens for a reason, Rayleigh knows that now.

He wanted to ask his captain if he was happy. It would be a definite yes.

He wanted to ask if he ever regretted choosing him as his right-hand. It would be no and a laugh.

"What! You gotta be kiddin Rayleigh! Don't be stupid! Of course I don't."

He wanted to ask if he's disappointed with what happened to the crew. Barely speaking, if some aren't dead by now. It would be a mixed answer. Seeing as how Shank's has made a name for himself, to him and Shakky still communicating with one another; despite it being mostly bickering.

He wants to ask if he should have made contact with Roger's son, Portgas D. Ace, the second division commander of White Beard. That one Rayleigh doesn't know the answer to.

He wants to ask if it's wrong to want to give up sometimes. It would be a no followed by there's still living to be done.

He wants to ask if he's meant for even more. His captain didn't always have the 'best' answers to things such as that, but he has his own perspective to it.

'But above all', Rayleigh thinks holding his shot glass, 'was the adventure worth it?' He smirks, he knows the answer.

And it stings.

"Rayleigh!"

He frowns, his closed eyes filling with unshed tears, 'captain'. The whiskey burns as it goes down.

"We're going on the adventure of a lifetime, partner!"

Another click fills his ears, he opens his eyes. Shakky is there with a new shot glass- two new shot glasses, one for herself and for.. "Roger wouldn't want you moping, he'd want you celebrating." She says, lips pulled up with shot glass in hand.

Rayleigh chuckles, "Indeed.".

They clink glasses, knocking it back a second later. Shakky sets down the glass, fingers tapping against the table. He quirks a brow at the grin now on her full lips. "So, have you heard about the eleven supernova?" She asks.

His gaze lingers on the untouched shot glass before he smirks and closes his eyes. "Yes. Monkey D. Luffy seems interesting."

Shakky closes her eyes in a laugh. "Yep! He has captain's hat in the very least. Seems Shank's liked him well enough."

"Rayleigh!"

Rayleigh smirks, wiping under his glasses. "Agreed."

A/N:

Beta'd by: Psychotriton

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