And guess who' snack? Your favorite Doctor! And Keith, Keith is back too ;-P

To Which the Doctor Finds Kidnapping Not a Big Deal

The Doctor did not take kindly to being played especially when the one playing him was Missy. It infuriated him to no end that she could even. He understood Clara being able to, she was his friend, but Missy was a different story.

"So will you, Doctor?" said Missy, making her way over to him. "Will you take me home?"

He hadn't wanted to - why would he ever want to do something for her? - but the Doctor knew he would in the end.

"I will," he said, in a reluctant voice.

Missy leaned towards his ear and whispered, "Promise me?"

A second passed, and then...

"You have my word."

Kate spit out her beer. The invasion was over and, after Kate had successfully deactivated the mechanism on top of the tower, they had been completely victorious. UNIT was celebrating their victory along with the Doctor in a small pub outside of London.

"Repeat that, soldier," choked Kate, still coughing on her beer.

"She kissed me," said Sergeant Boston (or simply Boston now that they were off duty) once more.

"The Doctor?" asked Kate, her eyes falling on said Time Lord as she waited by the bar for their next round.

"Yep," said Boston.

"That one, right there?" Kate asked pointing.

"The very same," said Boston dryly.

"The alien that until today has spent twelve hundred plus years as a man kissed you?"

"She said she was eighteen hundred," said Boston with a shrug of his shoulders while taking a sip of his beer.

"Was it good?"

"Definitely wasn't horrible," said Boston, drunk just enough not to find this conversation with his boss weird. "She blamed it on the Council and her female hormones though."

"Guess that makes it a one time deal," Kate muttered before finishing her beer as quickly as she could.

She couldn't help but notice how disappointed her words made Boston look.

He waited until after making sure Kate was okay, after Clara was home, and even after failing to find Gallifrey to cry. Not just because the fear that he may not ever find his home assaulted him like a thousands knives, but because the realization that he was, once again, alone burned him like salt on his wounds. His hearts ached, throbbing painfully in his chest as he slammed his fist into the TARDIS controls in anger. He knew it wasn't fair to his ship, that it wasn't her fault, but he couldn't stop himself.

The Doctor was alone, surrounded by millions of worlds and living beings, and he was alone.

All alone once again...

"Don't be ridiculous, Katy," said the Doctor, fixing her (Boston's) hat so that its bill was on the back of her head. "I'm a Time Lord. We don't get drunk."

Kate was unconvinced but she did have to admit that the Doctor's motor skills were a great deal better than her own and Boston's.

"Nonetheless, I must insist you stay on Earth until you get some rest," said Kate, watching Boston rock left and right from his spot against the wall. He wasn't going to make it very far if they didn't get a taxi but it was his fault. Trying to out drink the Doctor would do that to you especially when the Doctor cheated and would give her beer away when Boston wasn't looking.

The Doctor squealed. Yes, that's right. She squealed.

"We can have a slumber party!" the Doctor cried, jumping up and down while clapping her hands. She stopped herself immediately when she realized what she was doing. "Aargh! I'm such a woman!"

Boston snorted, most definitely too drunk to remember that his boss was also a female and present as well, saying, "And American."

"No one asked you Wolverine," said the Doctor. "Your named after an American city most renowned for rebelling against Britain."

"That's my last name," argued Boston.

"Well I'd sure hope so," said the Doctor. "Who the hell names their child Boston?"

Kate sighed. She was going to have to call the sitter and make sure it was okay she worked over night because there was no way she was leaving Boston and the Doctor alone together. The two were arguing in such a flirtatious manner it made her uneasy but it was probably due to the fact that the Doctor was still a man in her mind no matter how much like a woman she looked. Not that Kate was against same sex relationships. She was just wary of Doctor and anything relationships especially when she wasn't sure if the Doctor was acting like a typical drunk female on purpose.

"We'll never hail a cab!" bemoaned the Doctor when a third taxi blazed passed them.

"Gran's is only a block away," slurred Boston.

The Doctor bounced up immediately with excitement.

"To grandmother's house!"

The fact that they had to stop in Cardiff to refuel wouldn't have bothered the Doctor so much had Missy not been so adamant that they go sight see while they waited. He could fathom what made the insane Time Lady want to go sightseeing in a human anything let alone a city like Cardiff.

Of course he figured it out when they were on the docks and Missy made her fifth attempt at grabbing his hand.

"Missy," the Doctor sighed warningly as his fellow Time Lord began leaning against his sighed. "People are staring."

"Good," Missy purred - she honestly purred! - into his ear. "Let them look."

"You're making a scene," grumbled the Doctor, trying his best to get Missy to un-cling from him. "People are going to think-"

"- that we're young and in love?" offered Missy.

The Doctor snorted in disbelief.

"We, Missy," he said, with one final and vain effort to push Missy away, "are not young."

"Ahh, but in love," sighed Missy as her head finally rested in the crook of the Doctor's neck. She let her eyes flutter close. "Being in love makes us young again."

And although he did not shake Missy off of him, the Doctor did mutter to her, "We will never be young again."

In the back of Boston's mind he knew that enjoying the company of the Doctor the way he did was not a wise thing to do. Not only was the woman an eighteen hundred year old alien, she was an eighteen hundred year old alien who had until recently spent her whole life as a man. It was strange by far, insane even, but Boston would be lying if he said he didn't have a soft spot for beautiful woman.

"The TARDIS is just up there," said Kate as Boston drove her and the Doctor through the base - or at least he was driving the Doctor until she rolled out of the car and sprinted to her police box shaped ship.

"Oh, my baby," sighed the Doctor, doing her very best to hug the front of the TARDIS despite her tiny arms. "Daddy's missed you... Err, well, I suppose it's mommy now, but I don't see why there isn't a gender equality term for - no! I will not be a feminist in this life. I down right refuse!"

Boston shared a look with his boss who seemed to be getting more accepting with the Doctor's tendency to sound sexist. He was sure the only reason Kate hadn't reprimanded the alien was because the Doctor was now also a female. Now if Boston had said some of the things the Doctor said towards the fairer sex... he shuddered at the thought.

"Well," said the Doctor, throwing open the TARDIS doors dramatically. "Let's see my girl's new look."

The Doctor strutted inside the police box with, in Boston's opinion, far too much sass for an alien that had spent eighteen hundred years as a man. After a wary look shared between the two UNIT members, both Kate and Boston joined the Time Lady in her ship.

It was like walking into a modern day piece of art. There's seemed to be a pattern behind the madness of wires and glowing tubes that lines the walls and under the glass floors but Boston couldn't quite put his finger on it. Three sets of stairs, one of which being spiral, another only wide enough for one person while the other the size of a grand staircase one found in a palace, all led to three different platforms of different heights that in turn led to several different doors that where all of a different shape and size like the doors on the first floor and the floor below the glass. Lastly, in the center of the massive and abstract room, there was a grand control panel, lined with glass so that all of the blinking lights, wires and tubes where visible, despite their bunched, and patternless look. A glass column in the center of the control panel was glowing blue and green and humming a musical tone.

Boston whistled at the sight.

"Hey, buy her dinner first, bud," teased the Doctor, jumping around her ship like a playful child. "Good look though, right?"

"It's very... Fitting for you," said Kate.

The Doctor seemed to approve of this answer because she sent Kate a toothy smile before flipping a switch on the controls.

"Now let's see how she flies!" she shouted cheerfully, before slamming her hands over a series of buttons and pulling several levers.

"Wait, Doctor!" cried Kate, alarmed but the Doctor seemingly ignored her.

"We're going on an adventure!" the Doctor exclaimed with a joyful laugh.

And it was a laugh Boston couldn't stop himself from joining in on.

There was only one moment when Missy was on the TARDIS that the Doctor enjoyed - when the blasted woman was asleep! Of course, the one time the Time Lady had finally fallen asleep, the Doctor hadn't been able to enjoy the silence the way he had wanted to as she had fallen asleep on him.

He had been trying to read up on a missing piece to his backup neutron calibrator in the library when Missy had plotted herself next to him on the couch before proceeding to latch onto his arm and... snuggle him.

"I'm... reading," grumbled the Doctor, as he tried fending Missy off with his free hand as she tried to snuggle closer.

"But you're so comfortable, Doctor," whined Missy, before successfully wrapping her arms around the Doctor and burying her head into his chest. "There. Much better, don't you think?"

The Doctor huffed, unamused, and making a point not to look away from his book.

"You don't have to keep your arm in the air you know, silly man," said Missy. "I don't bite."

"Liar," retorted the Doctor but his arm was getting tired and he only needed one to keep reading.

Finally, after a very long and stubborn minute, the Doctor lowered his arm so that it gingerly rested on Missy's side in the most innocent way possible.

"Now was that so hard?" Missy purred.

The Doctor would have retorted rudely in response but he realized it would have been in vain. Missy had already fallen asleep and very soon so was the Doctor, his arm now possessively holding Missy to his side as they both slept peacefully in what felt like forever to the Doctor.

"You know, most people are more considerate when their friend takes them on a free vacation to an exotic land simply out of the kindness of their two hearts," grumbled the Doctor as she, Boston, and Kate ran.

"Kidnapping and bringing someone to a volcanic planet with humanoids that are borderline cannibals is not something that deserves my consideration at all, Doctor," panted Kate as quietly as she could after Boston pulled both women behind a rock formation. A herd of alien savages charged by in a hungry frenzy seconds later, completely overlooking them.

"Good job, Quicksilver," said the Doctor, opting to compliment Boston over remark on Kate's nitpicking. "Shall we continue our running?"

"Doctor!" Kate hissed. "Are you not listening to me? You can't just do that!"

"Do what?" asked the Doctor innocently.

"Kidnap people!"

The Doctor sighed dramatically, throwing her hands on her hips.

"Are we really going to talk about this right now?"

"Yes! We're going to talk about this -" an arrow lodged into the rock only an inch from Kate's face "- as soon as we're back on the TARDIS."

The trio took off running as a series of battle cries filled the air and a band of natives charged after them.

"Oh, it's good to be young!" laughed the Doctor.