Chronicle III

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"It seems Blackwall knows nothing about the disappearance of the Grey Wardens. It's a disappointment." The Nightingale paused before adding, "I am however glad that he is with us, even if he was… not what I expected. He seems to be a good man and his experience would be a good asset to the Inquisition."

She sighed. "As for the other Grey Wardens, I suppose we will have to keep looking."

Cassandra nodded at that. "We'll keep an eye out… what of Alistair's parents?"

Ever since that night, she couldn't help but think to look for his parents. If there was a chance they were alive, it would be good for the boy. If not, at least proof of their deaths would be enough to put a rest on the question of their disappearance.

"I tracked down those names in the elven alienage. There was only ever one Kallian, and she was in Denerim's Alienage… The day after the fall of the Archdemon, this Kallian ran away from home with a Dalish hunter… None had heard of her ever since," Leliana said. "I'm still looking into it; however, I'll have my contacts approach any Dalish clan and question them about Kallian and Theron."

"It's more than I can ask, Leliana."

"…So, strange company you brought home."

"Don't remind me." Disgruntled, Cassandra let out a huff as they started exiting out of the Chantry, taking down the path to get some fresh air. "Madame Vivienne would be a good asset for her connections, and as for Sera and the Iron Bull––sure they would be useful to have around––but Alistair had to give me the calf eyes. No one understands how hard it is to turn away from those eyes. I bet they wouldn't be laughing if it happened to them."

Leliana giggled. "You're smitten by the little one."

She groaned. "I am not smitten by him."

"I heard he snuck into your room this morning and jumped on your bed to scare you."

Cassandra hissed a bit as she recalled that unpleasant morning. "I gave him a good long lecture about it, and he just kept smiling, agreeing everything I say, and then complimenting me. The little––Ugh…! He thinks he can do anything because of his title! And that he is quote adorable unquote!"

The little menace was a force to be reckon with.

Leliana shook her head but she was still smiling with amusement. "Well, he is the Miracle Child of Andraste… and looks like someone gained the title of being the Child's Protector."

Cassandra pursed her lips, wanting to say no more of it.

The past week had been trying for the Seeker since the incident in Val Royeaux. Of course, they succeeded in placing doubt within the people's belief. The Inquisition was here to help and only to close the Breach. Even Alistair called aloud to close the Breach, and his voice was enough to reach many of them, she was sure of it, but the chantry cleric was very hard headed. Then the Chantry was shown up by the Lord Seeker and the Templars before they left.

And then the Lord Seeker accused her of raising heretics.

Talking badly of her, she remembered Alistair yelling out, "Don't talk bad of her! Cassandra is a better seeker than you'll ever be!"

Though she was flattered by his outburst and how he defended her, it sent tongues wagging everywhere. Now they believe that Seeker Cassandra is the child's Protector, or some even say, foster mother.

Leliana continued, "Hmm… Well maybe not protector, but Foster––"

"Stop. I will never be his mother nor will I ever be a mother," she snapped harshly, catching the Spymaster off guard. She soon realized her behavior and sighed. "I apologize. You only jest, I know."

Leliana only frowned sympathetically as she began to say,

"…Cassandra. I… may not know what it's like to never have what other women can have, but… it shouldn't stop you from––"

"WHAT?! How the FFFFFFFF––SHHH––! AAAGGGHH!"

Their moment was ruined by the time they walked near the tavern. Cassandra knew that voice belonged to Sera, and the laughter accompanied were unknown. However, she could hear Alistair's giggling among them.

She looked at Leliana before both of them went into the tavern to see what was happening.

"Hahahaha! I won again!" Alistair proclaimed then his eyes turned to Cassandra and he waved at her. "Cass! Cass look! I won ten royals!"

Alistair was sitting around a table with Varric, the Iron Bull, and Sera; the four of them were playing wicked grace, and they seemed to have gathered the attraction of spectators.

"I. AM DONE! Shi––Uggh! I can't even curse with you here!" Sera groaned before she quickly ran out, probably to stew on her temper and losses.

"Hey Seeker. Red. Care for a game? I'd be careful though… Valor's been winning nonstop," Varric informed them with an ominous tone at the last part. His smile faltered at the thought of losing coin to a child.

Cassandra felt her eye twitched.

"You…were teaching a child… how to gamble?"

The dwarf dared to retort. "I was teaching him how to play Wicked Grace, Seeker."

"That is the same thing! Stop corrupting his mind, he is just a child!"

"Oh come on! We were just having a bit of fun. Solas needed a break from the sudden snow ball fight that Valor ensued," Varric said, chuckling. "You should have seen how the soldiers were dodging away when the snowballs flew practically everywhere! I think there's not one soul out there that didn't get hit. One landed right on Tiny's face here."

At that mention of that hilarious time of throwing snow ball right at the giant Qunari's face, Alistair burst out laughing giddily at that memory. Bull grumbled under his breath and he gave the small elf a playful glare.

"I still need to get you for that," he said, pretending to snarl.

To which the child responded, "Why don't you beat me then in cards?"

"HA! So cheeky! But no! No, no, no, I am done with this game. You win," The Iron Bull said as he placed his cards down and drank his tankard of mead.

Cassandra only sighed at that as Varric gathered all the cards to shuffle it all. He was also done with playing Wicked Grace, and done with losing all his coin to a seven year old.

"So, Al, what are you going to do with all that coin?" Bull asked.

"Easy! I'm donating it to the Inquisition!" He said, placing it all in the jar.

He got off his seat and he went over to Cassandra, holding it to her.

"Here you go, Cass!" He said, holding up the jar to her.

Leliana could only giggle while smiles were spread on faces of their travelling companions, and the eavesdroppers and spectators of the tavern, watching this amusing scene. The fun never ends in Haven, not with Alistair around to brighten up a room.

And anytime Alistair and Cassandra were in the same room, their moments only warmed up their hearts. It's just… refreshing.

Cassandra only smiled a bit. "…Fine. So long it's for the Inquisition. Let's go see Josephine together."

"Okay!" He said as he went with her and he reached out to take her hand.

She didn't refuse it. She grasped it and they went together, walking back to the Chantry. As they walked along, many passerby greeted her and Alistair on the way. Cassandra nodded only, using the occasion 'Maker go with you' while Alistair just greeted with them hi's and hello's cheerfully. Despite the Breach in the sky and the rifts all over the land of Thedas, their presence was enough hope for the people of Haven.

They went inside the Chantry, walking down the halls when the Imperial Enchanter gestured to her.

"Seeker Cassandra Pentaghast? May I have a word with you? …Alone?" Vivienne added as she approached the two.

Cassandra stopped and she looked down at Alistair, giving her those calf eyes again. Brat. She thought, but not annoyed at all. She liked it when he does adorable acts, but she'll never admit it, or else he might keep doing it.

Then again, her aloof and fake–annoyed attitude seemed to encourage him enough.

"I will follow after, Alistair. Go on," she said and Alistair was a little reluctant. He glanced at Madame Vivienne, then he bowed his head politely before leaving to go to the Ambassador's office.

"The boy is quiet and polite when he needs to be. That is good," Vivienne noted thoughtfully.

"What is it that you need, Madame Vivienne?" Cassandra asked, getting straight to the point.

The Imperial Enchanter gestured and they walked over to her table; the spot that she claimed since they arrived.

"I am… a bit worried, Seeker. I met an elven mage out here––Solas, I believe he was called," She began to say. "I admit I was surprised. I didn't expect to find mages among the Inquisition. Tell me, what are your plans, Seeker? What is the purpose of this Inquisition? Seeing this, it seemed like the Divine Justinia planned this from the very beginning."

"She did." Cassandra simply answered as if it was the most obvious. After all, how could they have gathered so much soldiers? Certainly not after the conclave exploded. "It's the second plan in case the Conclave did not work out. As you can see, it didn't. Now… the Breach threatens us all. These rifts are spread throughout Thedas. Our first priority is to restore order, and that means initially to close the Breach permanently."

"Indeed. That is a good cause to follow after, Seeker. Justinia's death has shattered the balance of power in Thedas," she said, her tone turning stern. "If it is not restored quickly, countless lives will be lost. Mages, Templars, innocent people of all kinds now look to the Inquisition to decide their fate."

"I can assure you, Madame Vivienne. We will restore order." Or she'd die fighting for it. She already lost everything she had in the Conclave.

Vivienne nodded, appreciating such an adamant response of confidence. "I certainly don't doubt… Many believe that the Miracle Child of Andraste is the agent of the Maker's will, and that they also believe that you are––"

Cassandra cut her off. "I am not the boy's mother."

"Protector then? Either way, you are responsible of him… Tell me, Seeker, is he learning all he can of magic from that apostate, Solas?" Vivienne questioned. "The boy's magic is precariously powerful as if by a wave of his hand, he can conjure almost anything he could imagine. However, he is also young and naïve… his magic will make him likely to be prone to demons. Tell me, is it wise? I hear this Solas is quite fund of demons."

"Spirits." The Seeker corrected her. "He insists there is a difference between the two."

The Imperial Enchanter glared. "And you believe him? Think about the risks, Seeker. If the child mistakes a 'spirit' for a demon, and he says yes, he will become an abomination. He would be a lost cause and, to everyone, he is our only hope on Order. I can teach him that magic is not to be fooled around with, and that he should watch out for demons."

"…He already has a teacher, Madame Vivienne. I think it rude to just pull him away," Cassandra said, crossing her arms. It would be completely and utterly rude for her to just do that. "Besides, Alistair had decided. You should see him to convince him."

"Alistair is just a child, Seeker. I am asking you because you are his foster mother––"

"I am not his foster mother and he is not my son!" She snapped. Her voice raised a little too much that it echoed in the chantry.

Unaware of a pair of elven ears listening behind her.

Vivienne crossed her arms and was about to speak some more, but her mouth closed momentarily, looking at someone behind the Seeker. "Oh… Hello there, child."

Cassandra soon regretted those words that left her mouth as she turned around to see him.

Alistair stood there, eyes wide as if reality had suddenly hit him–––a shocking realization settled over him. In his mind, he was soon reminded where he is, who he was, and why he is here. It's over, he thought. The dream is over. Why did he even try?

He was not supposed to get attached again.

"…Alistair…?" Her voice snapped him out from a trance.

Cassandra approached the elven child slowly, but when she was nearing him, he quickly bolted into a run. Dreaded guilt weighed heavily on her heart, watching him run out of the Chantry so fast and never looking back.

She dropped her hand slowly, unaware that she had just tried to reach out.

"…Give him a bit of time, dear. Children would need time to cool down."

The Seeker did not respond to the Vivienne's 'comforting' words. The silence was cold and bitter than it was outside of Haven's winter.

"…Tell me, Madame Vivienne. Have you ever had children before?"

Vivienne frowned at the question, but she answered honestly. "No. No I haven't."

"…Neither will I. Ever."

With that said, the Seeker turned around and started walking into the War Room, trying to find something to do as the day in Haven dragged on.

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"ALISTAIR!"

"AL!"

"VALOR!"

"Shiny! Where the hell are you!?" Sera asked loud. "I got friggin' cookies and if you don't come out, I'm eatin' them all!"

It was snowing hard by the end of the day, and no one had found the little Miracle Child of Andraste. At first, they thought he had ran into his cabin, or that he was probably hiding, but he didn't show up for lunch. And now, with Dusk nearing, they couldn't wait anymore. They panicked and started to search for him.

Cassandra did not show it, but she was panicking. Leliana knew the Seeker was panicking and so were the rest of the companions. They were all scouting in the woods near the lumber camp while the rest were sent down to scout beyond the paths.

A hundred awful scenarios went through the Seeker's mind that early night, and if she didn't find Alistair soon, someone was going to die by her hand–––even if this someone is innocent.

Then a voice said to her…

This was her fault.

"Seeker… Seeker!" Varric called out again and the Seeker whirled at him, snapping, "What?!"

The dwarf wasn't intimidated as he continued, "We'll find him. He can't have gone too far."

"Or kidnapped…" Sera mumbled and eyes turned to glare at her. "…What?"

Cassandra would throttle her right now, if someone didn't save her.

"Found him, Chief!" Krem called out, getting the Seeker's and everyone else's attention. They ran over to him and the lieutenant pointed up to the tree. There. Up in the tallest branches was indeed Alistair, curled up, and had tied a rope around himself so he wouldn't fall.

Cassandra felt relieved for a moment before anger engulfed her.

"ALISTAIR!" Her sudden yell made everyone around her flinch, not just from the volume, but from the anger that came with it. She ignored them. "Come down from there! NOW!"

Surprisingly enough, the little elf shouted back. "NO! Go away!"

"What?!" Cassandra snarled.

"I said NO! Go away!"

"How dare you! We've been looking for you for over an hour, you've worried everyone sick–––Everyone has been looking for you so the least you could do is come down from there and apologize!"

"You are NOT my MOTHER!" Alistair screamed and his words cut her deep than it should have. Why?

It can't be so. She is looking for his parents.

"I don't care!" Cassandra snapped back then a hand grabbed her arm, despite how gentle, she shoved the hand away. She glared down at the dwarf that kept interfering.

"What now, Varric?!"

"Maybe I should talk to him? I promise I'll get him down and we won't leave him out there in the cold," Varric said. Bull and Sera also stood there, but they were the first ones to leave.

Cassandra thought about it before she heavily sighed. "You get him down then. I'm returning to Haven."

She walked away, following the footsteps of her companions and turning her back to the tree.

Alistair watched her go and he curled himself up even more. He covered his face on to his arms as tears silently rolled down his cheeks, before they would turn to icicles.

"Hey Valor! … It's just you and I now, mind coming down?" Varric asked, shouting a bit. "…It won't be a good talk if you're not down here… I don't think this tree will talk to me!"

Silence.

"Come on, Valor. I'm sure whatever happen, we can work it out!" The dwarf tried again.

He waited and waited, watching the little elven boy before finally he moved. He untied himself and started climbing down the tall tree.

"That's it… it's alright…" Varric said, waiting patiently until the kid's feet was planted to the ground. It took no genius to know that the kid has been crying, seeing his eyes red and puffy.

The dwarf reached out, planting a warm hand on his shoulder. "Come on. Let's go talk somewhere warm, hmm…?"

Alistair slowly nodded, following after the dwarf.

"…So… what happened between you and the Seeker, hmm? You two were just happy this morning."

"That was morning… this is dusk." Varric flinched a bit at how nonchalant the kid sounded… or perhaps numb.

"…Hmm… That was morning, this is dusk. You know, I'll that line."

"…Hey Varric… Thank you."

Varric was taken back a bit, but he smiled, "For what, Valor?"

"For showing me kindness to an elf like me…" he said quietly. His eyes to the snowy ground as they walked. "Nobody likes an elf… and no one ever likes a mage."

The dwarf didn't understand him now. "What do you mean by that? Of course, we like you!"

"You say that now, but you won't later… I'm an elf and a mage… no one likes both." He said it again. Why did that one sentence carry so much pain than a thousand blades stabbing one person?

Varric didn't deter, "Oh come on, I have a couple of good elf friends, and I like them. One of them is a mage. Daisy, I call her… Valor, you need to not think that. See, if people get passed the race and the magic, they only see how incredible you really are! Like I have and the Seeker, and Sera, and others... We like you." He tried again.

Alistair stopped talking then, and Varric wasn't sure if he got through the kid.

One thing that was certain was that he would never let him out of his sight.

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Cassandra waited in the snow from far away and she saw Alistair just climbed down the tree. Varric offering him comfort and was now leading him back to Haven.

With that, she walked away, heading back to Haven's gates.

"Cassandra!" Someone called and she turned around to see Cullen.

"Commander."

"I heard you found him––"

"Yes. Now I'm returning."

Cullen frowned a bit at her sudden dismissal. "Where is he?"

"With Varric! Why does it matter?" She asked, stopping to glare at him.

Cullen raised his hands defensively. "Nothing! Nothing… just… Look. I heard what happened today inside the Chantry. The boy heard you––"

"Yes. He did. What of it?" She asked, taking a step toward the big former Templar, causing him to step back. "I am not the child's mother, Cullen. I never claimed I was, nor will I pretend to be!"

"I didn't say you––Look, Seeker!" Cullen stood his ground as he continued, "He is only a boy of seven years old. He has no mother and no father from what Leliana told me about him. His parents could have been dead, or abandoned him and his brother. And then his brother passed away. He's all alone."

So am I, Cassandra thought bitterly. She had lost her parents to the Nevarran King, her Anthony to blood mages, Regalyan from the Conclave and now she lost her place among the Seekers.

Cullen tried again. "He needs a mother."

"…I wanted to be a mother, Cullen. Did you know?" Her question made him pause as she looked at him with––not a glare––but an empty look that showed pain.

"The Maker took that away from me when I was born, but fine. I had Regalyan... He took him too."

"Regalyan?" The Templar's eyes widened; he had met the man once, but to think he and the Seeker.

"Yes. We planned to adopt a child once this chaos was over, but then I lost him too at the Conclave," Cassandra said and took a step forward Cullen, and the Commander could swear he saw tears threatening to fall. "…Alistair? He… He is a constant reminder of what I almost had and what I can never have… So. Stop. Talking. About him being my son and me being his mother."

Heavy silence filled the air and area around them until finally the Seeker stepped back, walking back to Haven.

"Good night, Commander Cullen."

Cullen watched her go and when she was out of sight, he let out a sigh.

"…Maker, you are too cruel."

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The next couple of days were trying as they were travelling to Redcliffe, accepting the invitation of the Mages. On the way, they had many bandits to battle and rifts to close. Luckily, Alistair and Cassandra didn't fight, but nor did they try to compensate what happened. The group became silent and tense.

The Seeker was snapping more often while the Miracle Child would frown at any joke. He even started avoiding everyone else as if he was shy and that he didn't know anyone. Varric seemed to be the only one to get through him, even getting him to eat.

It was noon and they took a break to eat. Alistair wanted to go to the privy first so he and Varric went away.

Leaving the rest to talk.

"Cassandra." The Seeker tried to be patient when elven apostate called her name. She would try to be, so long as he doesn't mention being the child's mother.

"What is it, Solas?"

"Alistair had stopped trying to learn from me," Solas said. "Even Varric can't get him to. He refuses to do anything, but to hide from everyone… The child is depressed."

The Seeker gripped the loaf of bread as she thought about his words. Her hardened expression softened once he said the last part. It had gone on far too long. Unsaid words and unheard apologies didn't seem to fix anything.

"…I will try to talk to him then." Cassandra conceded and relief spread to the others.

"Good. He needs to get back eating right, you know." Bull pointed out but the Seeker narrowed her eyes at his words.

"What do you mean by that?"

"He hadn't finished his meals properly, nor does he eat unless we make him," Solas explained to her and an unseen hard blow was impacted upon her stomach. She almost felt like throwing up with the guilt wrenching her.

They fell silent again.

They were almost done eating until Bull claimed, "They are taking too long."

Indeed. They were taking too long for a privy.

Cassandra abandoned her meal and was up first, going to where the two had headed. Not soon after, the rest followed.

What was taking them so long? She wondered. Again, a hundred scenarios ran though her mind, thinking of only Alistair in danger. This time, she also thought of a hundred methods to kill the dwarf if he ever let anything bad happen to Alistair.

Alistair is everyone's only hope, yet he is only a child.

He is a child with no father or mother. No brother to watch after him no longer.

She realized then how stupid it was that she placed her own feelings before the child's.

She prayed to the Maker that nothing happened, and if nothing did, then she promised herself she would do it!

They went through the forest and soon saw Varric up ahead, standing there. The Seeker picked up the pace but when she went through the bushes, she saw why they were held up.

A couple of meters away from Varric was an Elvhen woman of golden hair and in her arms was a crying yet smiling Alistair.

"Ohhh! Thank the Maker and Mythal, I get to see you once more!" The Elvhen woman cried as she pulled Alistair back a bit, wiping her tears and his.

Alistair only grinned brighter as he called out the one word that explained it all.

"Mamae!"

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Cassandra's a little too late, huh? ^^ Please review!