A small companion piece to my story "The Child". My brain can't get enough of Vanessa as a mother. Enjoy!

This goes as a gift to Scorpionmother, an amazing writer of Penny Dreadful fanfiction and my newest friend. I hope you like this!

"[I]f the name of wife appears more sacred and more valid, sweeter to me is ever the word friend, or, if thou be not ashamed, concubine ... And thou thyself wert not wholly unmindful of that ... [as in the narrative of thy misfortunes] thou hast not disdained to set forth sundry reasons by which I tried to dissuade thee from our marriage, from an ill-starred bed; but wert silent as to many, in which I preferred love to wedlock, freedom to a bond. I call God to witness, if Augustus, ruling over the whole world, were to deem me worthy of the honour of marriage, and to confirm the whole world to me, to be ruled by me forever, dearer to me and of greater dignity would it seem to be called thy concubine than his empress."
― Héloïse d'Argenteuil, The Letters of Abélard and Héloïse

Heloise sat on her mother's lap as they played their favorite game of drawing caricatures. Vanessa would randomly draw three straight lines that could not touch and Heloise would have to make a face out of it. And vice-versa. It had been a game Vanessa had enjoyed with Mina, when it was nighttime and neither of them felt like sleeping. Thus was the case as they sat in their room, a pretty lamp glowing in yellow illuminating their endeavours.

"A girl said my name was ugly today." Heloise admitted, as she worked on the hair of her character. Vanessa paused, brows furrowed, not exactly knowing how to react to this comment.

"Well I don't agree with her, so much that I gave you it. Heloise is a beautiful and special name, full of meaning. A perfect fit for a baby girl just as such."

"You say that because you're my mum."

"And because I'm your mum I am entitled to tell you and show you some truths."

"But why Heloise? Why not Violet or Beatrice or Charlotte or Alice?"

"Because they never spoke to my heart. There's several reasons why I chose Heloise, I gave it a lot of thought. I probably never read so many books at the same time as when you were growing inside of me. I was hunting for the perfect name."

"And if I were a boy?"

"Well, I always knew you would be a girl."

"How?" Vanessa smiled and pressed a kiss to her daughter's temple, Heloise's hands were still busy and eyes still locked on her drawing.

"I had a vision. A vision where I held a beautiful baby girl in my arms. Big blue eyes like those of my grandmother and dark curls like a lion's mane... such as my mother's. That's why."

"I was born with hair?" Vanessa chuckled and shook her head.

"You had about five little hairs sticking up and your skin was shades of red and purple like a bruise. But you were the loveliest little thing. You were born with your eyes open and imediately I knew you would be a clever one."

"Hmm. Why is Heloise so special?" Vanessa smiled and caressed her daughter's curls. Heloise sighed in satisfaction and leant her head on the woman's shoulder.

"Heloise d'Argenteuil is said to be an ancestor of the Blanchard* family, the family my mother's mother belonged to. She lived many years ago, about seven hundred, in France. In those days, very little women had access to education, even the girls of nobility and of wealth. Heloise was different. She had an uncle who loved her and doted on her. Early on he noticed that Heloise was extremely intelligent and wise and so he cultivated her and hired the best teachers in the country to tutor her-one of them was Pierre Abelard."

"So she was very special then. One in a million!" Vanessa nodded.

"Yes, indeed. And Abelard, stunned by her beauty and impressed by how her knowledge matched his, quickly fell in love with her. In the months that followed, Heloise and Abelard would both study and make love to each other-until Heloise found out she was with child one day." Little Heloise Ives' eyes and mouth widened in awe.

"And then?"

"Well, when Heloise's uncle found out, he was infuriated and his heart filled with hatred for Abelard. Heloise's uncle felt betrayed, but also responsible, for the fact that under his very own roof his niece's honor had been violated. Do you know what that means, to be violated?" Heloise shook her head. "It comes from the word violent. When you are violated, you are abused, you are removed of something by force or against your will."

"But Heloise was with Abelard because she wanted to, was she not?" Vanessa nodded.

"But her uncle couldn't grasp that. He told Abelard that he should marry Heloise or face the consequences. So naturally, Abelard decided he wanted to marry. However, Heloise was not at all happy with that idea. She wanted to be free to study, to be Abelard's lover and the lover of anyone else she pleased. She did not want to be married, stuck in a house, raising children and doing nothing but obey her husband and the laws of the church for the rest of her life."

"So what did they do?"

"Even against her will, Abelard had him and Heloise married in secret, for he also had to keep a good reputation as a philosopher and a man of religion. No one could know of this scandal. But Heloise's uncle was not satisfied. He summoned some other men who were also enemies of Abelard and one night they invaded Abelard's home and his bedroom and hurt him so deeply, that he never again would be able to make love or have other children. Abelard was deeply in pain and ashamed. The entire country would know of what happened to him."

"What about Heloise?"

"Luckily, that night, Heloise was staying at an abbey of nuns in Argenteuil. Through letters, she found out about her husband's misfortune and they both decided to take the oath and she become a nun herself and he also a man of religion."

"And their baby?"

"Well, with all of this happening and deciding to become a nun so that she could continue to have the freedom and peace of mind to study, their baby boy, Astrolabe, was raised by Abelard's sister. Until the death of Abelard many years later, he and Heloise shared many letters, which luckily still exist so we can read them. In these letters they debate about religion and philosophy, how Heloise could better organize and run her abbey, as she later became a great leader... but they also spoke of their love-And I honestly think that it lasted until the very end of their lives."

"Heloise seemed like a nice person. In the end she got what she wanted." Vanessa nodded.

"In a way I suppose. I named you after her because I wanted you to strive for knowledge, for love, for independence. I wanted you to be able to be whomever you wanted. I wanted and still want you to be free, Heloise, because unfortunately, us women are not always. Happy now?" Heloise nodded and smiled.

"May we sleep now, mama?" Vanessa smiled and let out a dry chuckle.

"Yes, please." Vanessa picked up Heloise and helped her into her night gown, white with tiny red and yellow embroidered flowers on the collar.

Vanessa also removed all of her layers of clothing, one by one. Naked, she removed the pins from her hair and her necklace and earrings. Lastly, she slid on the thin Egyptian cotton nightgown, her favorite, that went down to her toes and slipped under the covers.

"Mama, you're so pretty that your dark scar is nothing." Heloise whispered as she nestled at her mother's side. Vanessa smiled slightly and kissed her hair.

"I love you, Heloise."

"Love you too, mum."

...

He walked into their hotel suite, a few minutes past midnight, his boots in his hands so as not to disturb their sleep. He found Vanessa watching him with those big blue eyes and that knowing smile on her face, she was sitting up with her arms crossed.

"How was your day?"

"All about names."

"Names?" She nodded and chuckled silently.

"Heloise's name. She wanted to know exactly why I chose it."

"Hmm. And?"

"I love you my Abelard." He smiled and leaned down to place a light kiss to her lips, not exactly knowing what she meant.

"You explain it to me in the morning."