Shit! Shit shit shit shit shitshithshitshitshitshit. Jake caught him. Dirk had always idly wandered about the cliffside, nonchalantly looking over the edge; dark thoughts running through his mind. And whenever Jake's back was turned, Dirk would stand on the very edge, toes hanging over, tempting fate; asking for a good burst of wind to send him over; one small catalyst, that's all he needed. He did it too often. He became too comfortable playing at the edge. Jake caught him.

Dirk was frozen. He wanted to escape, escape the wounded eyes of the only one he remained alive for. Dave would be fine, he had Karkat. Roxy had Hal and all their friends; she would be okay. Jake was the only tether left; one that he couldn't bring himself to cut. And now here it is; in front of him; realizing just how close he is; realizing just how far gone he is.

The tether didn't speak, however, it did wrap itself around Dirk, forcing him away from the precipice that he calls home. Clinging to him tight. "Why?" a whisper in his ear that made him want to run; he couldn't face it, he couldn't deal. The grasp was so tight though, he couldn't run…instead he cried…sobbed…apologizing over and over until the words just became jumbled sounds in his mouth. How much regret he truly felt, his strength leaving him, his knees weak. Where is a hole that he can crawl into? Where is a knife so he can remove the tether and plummet into the abyss. Nothing, he had nothing, but Jake.

They were both crying, but Jake never let go. He picked Dirk up; surprisingly strong for such a small guy. The carry was awkward, but Dirk was too lost in his own dysphoric hell to care. He only had a cursory understanding of the events around him. They were in the bathroom; water was rushing, Jake was saying something to him; but there was a filter that obscured any meaning. His clothes were removed, cold he's cold. Good, he deserves to be cold. In moments though he was covered in warmth, a soft hand caressing his back. Hands massaging his scalp; he made a noise of approval. It felt nice…he didn't deserve it. He moved away from the sensation, he hadn't earned the right to feel good. His only reward of his actions, his being, should be abandonment and then death. No matter what he did he would never be worthy; he is a detriment to all those he has contact with. Like Jake, poor Jake.

As he moved away however a strong arm brought him back and resumed the earlier ministrations. Whisper something in the ear that Dirk just barely caught "You are wonderful. I love you." It made his heart race. It's not true, it can't be true. Jake is just doing this to make him feel better, he can't possibly mean it. Yes, that's it, Jake says it because he's nice and wants to help; he can't actually mean it. As if reading his thoughts though Jake speaks again; softly, but Dirk has some focus back and can hear better now. "I mean every word, love. I don't know what ever made your own mind your enemy; but I'm not about to let it twist my words. I love you; I think you're amazing." Tears were streaming down Dirk's face once more. Nice strong hands cradling his scalp, kisses on his cheek and neck. He didn't deserve this; it's too nice, too sweet. It has to be fake, this is a dream, this is –

"Shhhhh" Jake cut into his thoughts, his hands still on Dirk's scalp. Jake was starting to get an idea of when Dirk's thoughts were going down a bad path. His heart rate increased, and the muscles around the base of his head and neck would tense. It was something Jake could only decipher if he kept his hands on Dirk's scalp though. Too subtle otherwise. He felt the boy relax a little and went to work massaging his shoulders. The blonde made another sound of approval and let his head droop down. Jake had removed Dirk shades while prepping Dirk for the bath. He had wondered why the blonde and been wearing them more lately. The removal of the item reveal deep, dark circles. Poor thing probably hasn't had a decent night's sleep in a while. How often did he use Jake's away time to punish himself? It was all too clear that that's what he was doing. The sobbing too, god, that broke his heart. He had never heard Dirk cry so hard in his life. What hell is his mind like that it can cause such suffering? He rinsed the boy's hair and washed the soap off his body. Pulling the plug on the bathtub he wrapped his dearest in a nice fluffy towel and brought him near the bed; toweling him off and snuggling under the covers. The boy seemed more relax than he had been in a long time. Jake held him close. He would need to talk to Dirk tomorrow; but tonight he needed to comfort him; love him; and remind him that he is more amazing than he could ever realize.

Notes: So, I will probably start the true sequel (this is just a bridge between the two fics.) next month. While I have a fairly clear idea of the emotional path I want Dirk to take; I'm very open to activity suggestions. Is there anything you guys would like to see? Any couple activities or things with friends that you would like to see? All suggestions are welcome!