Hey :)
I'm quite excited since this is my first mulitchapter fic for Castle. I would really appreciate feedback, suggestions, idea etc. since I of course do have a general plan about where I'm going with this story but I am completely open to and happy to receive input :)

Hope you enjoy this first chapter :)

The nurse stops the cart right in front of the double-door that will lead them into the restricted area, stepping away a little to give them room to talk privately before he will be wheeled inside.
Kate swallows painfully, inching closer to where her husband is laying, wiggling his fingers for her to wrap hers around him. She intertwines their hands and holds onto his larger one as tightly as she possibly can, wanting to be close to him before he will be rolled on the other side of the door, leaving her hoping and praying.

"Come here" he murmurs, using his other hand to gently tug on a strained of her hair, bringing her face closer to his. She comes willingly, nuzzling her nose in the crook of his neck, and there behind the smell of hospital that never fails to shower her in cold chills that run though her whole body, there it is - his signature smell of after-shave, paired with shower foam and his natural scent.
She lets her senses be engulfed in him for a moment, trying to breathe around the huge knot forming inside her throat.

"Hey" he whispers, effectively bringing her out of the rising panic and making her meet his eyes.
"I will be okay" he tries to reassure her but the flicker of sheer fear in his eyes tells her otherwise, yet she smiles at him because right now he needs her, not the other way round.

They had been knowing for months this moment would come but there had been no way to prepare for it. Ever since they had gotten the news of him having a brain tumour that turned their whole life upside down, she had been trying to hide her fear for the sake of him. Tried to swallow the waves of panic, terrified she would lose him but never wanting to show any of it to not make him rethink his choice of having the surgery.

The doctors had been clear from the very beginning: he would die if they allowed the tumour to spread further and having surgery was a considerable but highly dangerous option. Upon hearing how the chances of him surviving it were standing, he had immediately opted for not having the surgery, wanting to spend as much time as he had left with Kate, his mistrust in doctors too high for him to believe they would actually be able to get him through surgery without him ending up having any major deficits if he even survived at all.

Kate had managed to convince him to have the surgery eventually though, telling him that if there was a chance he was going to survive this there was no way she would be able to live without having tried beating the odds.

And so here they are, foreheads pressed together, lips touching so lightly it wouldn't even be considered a kiss. She starts to whisper his name but he cuts her off by pressing his lips to hers more firmly, shaking his head slightly.
"I know" he gives back and by the way his voice gives in a little she realises that he actually does know.
Knows that their story isn't over yet and that she will kill him if he doesn't survive the surgery, and the irony of that almost makes them smile a little. Knows that she loves him with all of her heart and that she will never be able nor will want to love anyone as much ever again.
He knows all of it because he feels it too, with the never ending force that comes with their relationship that is built on so much more than simple attraction.

"No goodbye" he reminds her softly and she meets his eyes again.

"No goodbye" she confirms but when she lets her hand touch his cheek and their lips meet one last time before it's time for him to go, it surely does feel like one.
She grabs his hand again, holding onto it even as the nurse starts unlocking the brakes to the cart. He doesn't let his gaze drop from his wife's face, mouthing "I love you", only for her eyes to see and her heart to feel, which she repeats to him and not saying it out loud feels so intimate it send little shocks to her heart, that turn into arrows the moment she realises this might be the last time they -
"hey" he interrupts her train of thoughts, the nurse already starting to open the doors.

"See you on the other side" he gives her a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. She sighs softly, not loud enough for him to hear.

"See you on the other side" she confirms as he is being pushed through the door and the last things she feels before the tears start dropping from her eyes is the soft glide of his hand leaving hers.

Thank you for reading, please let me know what you think about it :)

Lea