RFSP episode #102

The Game Isn't Bad, Just Some Involved With It

Chapter 4-The Master Plan

Back in Nexton the same morning, a blood curling scream sounded throughout the Scralp residence. Sheila Broflovski had just discovered that Kyle had gone missing as well.

"What's wrong!?" asked Sonja as she ran up the stairs to where Sheila found Kyle's bed empty.

"It's Kyle! He's gone missing too!"

"Him too!?"

"Yes!"

"Dylan!"

Hearing his mom's call, Dylan ran up the stairs to see what was the matter.

"What?"

"Kyle must have slipped out last night. You've been sleeping on the couch, so did you hear anything last night that sounded like footsteps?"

"Uh…no."

As Sheila began to cry, Dylan quietly crept back downstairs and hoped that Kyle was where he thought he was.

Gerald and Sheila quickly drove over to the Nex hotel to look for Kyle. When they got there, they noticed Sharon and Randy running around looking just as worried.

"Randy!"

"Is your kid missing too!?" Randy asked them.

"Huh?"

"It's Stan! He's gone!"

"You too!? We just discovered Kyle's gone too!"

"Oh my God!"

Word had quickly spread that not only Kyle, Stan, and Ike were missing, but Kenny, Butters, Bebe, and Cartman were as well. A reporter from Channel 6 News stood in front of the Nex to give the story.

"Breaking news, we have learned that seven children have gone missing in the past 24 hours. 4 year-old Ike Broflovski vanished yesterday afternoon at around 6:00. It now appears that five other boys and a girl have gone missing as well. All seven of these kids are from South Park, Colorado, the town that won the AGA's free admission sweepstakes for the AGA Finals this year. The families of the missing children had all been given rooms here at the Nex hotel. If you see these kids, please contact the authorities immediately with any information you may have."

One by one, the news station flashed pictures of the seven kids as their names were listed.

"The seven children are Stanley Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Ike Broflovski, Eric Cartman, Kenneth McCormick, Leopold Stotch, and Bebe Stevens. We go now to the parents of these children."

Randy and Sharon appeared on camera next.

"Stan, wherever you are, I hope you're OK and…we all want you home." Randy pleaded as Sharon cried.

Kenny's mother and sister were on next.

"Kenny, please come back. I really hope nothing's happened to you."

"Kenny! Please come home!" Karen pleaded through her tears.

Stephen and Linda were on next.

"Butters if you come home right now, your mother and I promise not to ground you for more than three days. Please come back to us son." Stephen pleaded as Linda cried uncontrollably.

The news reporter continued. "Here's what some of their fellow townspeople have to say."

The report switched to several other small interviews of other South Park locals.

"Oh God! What if they're dead!? AAAAHHHHH!"

"Children, Mr. Hat is really worried for all of you."

"Ooh Jesus! Jesus Christ! I hope they're not in that much danger!"

"Kids, wherever you are, I really hope this isn't a result of you guys screwing around!"

"Cartman you better be OK because you still owe me my birthday money asshole!"

"That's gay that they're missing!"

"Huh huh huh yeah that's gay! That's totally gay!"

"You son of a bitch Kenny…." Kyle said as the kids were watching the report.

("Huh?")

"You can make clones and holograms and shit, but you couldn't make any of us!?"

"Yeah, what the fuck dude!"

("It's for our own good. They won't continue with their plan unless you guys are there! See, look!") Kenny pointed back at the TV screen, where Davenport was now giving his thoughts on the issue.

"We are aware of the issue. The Woman's Finals were supposed to start today, but the AGA has postponed it to try and help find these kids. We share our concerns with the affected families and we realize how anxious they must be right now, and we're doing what we can to help them."

Kenny turned the TV off. ("As long as they keep looking for us, the Woman's Finals will never start. And if it never starts, they can't continue their plan! And they'll never find us as long as we stay here.")

"Oh sure, great idea Kenny!" Cartman replied sarcastically.

"Yeah now our parents are going to think we're dead asshole!"

("You will be dead if they find you! You're Davenport's top priority, especially Cartman!")

"Why me!?"

("I mean *cough* especially me. I'll see you guys later.")

Kenny walked down the staircase and out into the atrium area, leaving the others on a suspicious note.

"He's hiding something." Stan theorized.

"What could he be hiding? He and Sara have already told us about their little group!"

"I still think there's even more about them than that. Sara said Dylan has a room here right?"

"Yeah."

"Then I say we go in there and see what the hell he's not telling us!"

"How are we supposed to find his room?"

"Uh…I don't know."

"Stan, we're all already paranoid, can't we just relax for a little bit?" Bebe asked, trying to calm him down.

"Fine, whatever."

They started to walk down the staircase into the atrium area, but Kyle pulled Cartman aside.

"What?"

"Cartman…I think there's something you need to hear."

"What?"

"I think Stan's right about Sara's group not telling us everything."

"Huh?"

"Last night in the car…I woke up to hear Sara talking with Dylan on some kind of phone on the radio. Dylan had said something about needing to tell us everything and something about calling in one of his old teammates."

"So?"

"Well…that's not all. After that, he said something…about your mom…not being your real mom."

Cartman couldn't believe what he just heard, as a look of shock and horror spread across his face.

"What!?"

"We need to grill Dylan the next time we see him. If we ever get back to Nexton, we need to search his room or something."

"I can't believe I'm saying this…but you're right Kyle."

Later that night, Kenny was showing the others where the guest rooms were. Cartman went on to say that, for a poor person, Kenny had a pretty sweet place here.

("Nobody texted or called anyone today did they?")

The others all shook their heads no.

("Good, that'd give away our location")

A few minutes later, Stan and Butters were getting ready for bed in a two bed guest room they were sharing.

"Butters, do you think we're going back to Nexton soon?"

"Oh boy, I hope so! Even if am getting grounded for having left in the first place."

"Can I ask you…a personal question?"

"Sure buddy!"

"You said that Wendy didn't seem interested in me, right?"

"Yes."

Stan let out a deep sigh. "Here's the problem I'm facing: I don't who I'm in love with, if anybody. After our break-up, I was feeling sad and alone and then…Bebe tried to comfort me for some reason. After a while of it we had started to like each other more and got into what we're in now. I grew to hate Wendy but love her best friend. But now that a month has gone by…I don't know who I love. But now I feel like I'm thinking 'What if I really don't hate Wendy?' What if I just wanted to be friends or something?"

"What do you mean?"

"Butters, everyone knows Wendy and I have been together for over a decade. What if the real reason I broke up is not because we had a falling out but what if…what if it's been so long I just wanted to tone it down a bit and just be close friends?"

"Oh gosh Stan…I don't know. What would Bebe or Wendy think about all this?"

"That's what I'm afraid to find out. One side of me claims I really do hate Wendy and love Bebe and another side claims I have nothing against her and that it had just been a long time and since we hadn't done a whole lot together in the months before our 2nd break up anyway…."

"Here's what I think: Go to Wendy."

"What?"

"Go to Wendy and tell her how you REALLY feel."

"Tell her how I really feel…you're right Butters. Thanks!"

"Well sure Stan!" Butters smiled.

Everyone in location 78U had fallen asleep…well everyone except for Kenny.

Kenny pulled out his phone and dialed a number.

Back in the underground base, Leah was working on a computer when her phone rang.

"Hello?"

("Leah? It's Kenny. Do the thing.")

"Gotcha!"

At some point in the middle of the night, Stan woke up…only to find himself back on the pull out couch in his hotel room of the Nex hotel. Out of total confusion, he began to scream. This woke Shelley up, who responded by throwing a pillow at him.

"Shut up turd!"

"Stanley what's wrong?" Sharon asked as she and Randy also woke up.

"What the hell am I doing here!?"

"Uhh…this is our room." Randy answered.

"What!? But…but I was in Virginia in some place called Location 78U and-what day is it!?"

Sharon peered over at the bedside clock next to her. "Well it's not midnight quite yet, so it's still Sunday."

"Sunday!? But I've been gone for a whole day! And so has Kyle, and Bebe, and Butters, and-."

"Stan I think you just had a bad dream. Go back to sleep son."

It took a long time, but eventually Stan did fall back asleep. The next morning he ran through the Nex lobby and found Cartman.

"Cartman! What the fuck are we-."

"Doing here, I know! I don't know what the fuck happened!"

They both paused and figured out who would know something.

"Kenny!" they both shouted in unison as they ran upstairs to room 345. When they got there, Butters, Ike, Kyle, and Bebe were there trying to answer the same question.

"You guys! What-."

"I don't know dude! None of us do, but we figured Kenny would."

Cartman shoved Kyle aside and started banging on the door. "KENNY YOU SON OF A BITCH! OPEN THE DOOR!"

The door opened and Kenny stepped out.

("What the fuck do you want-oh hi guys.")

"Kenny, how the hell are we back here!?"

For a moment, Kenny said nothing. Suddenly, he started to laugh pretty hard.

"That's not funny asshole!"

("OK you guys, I'll tell you later. After breakfast, all of you meet me in the lobby, Ike too. I'm going to take you to the underground base where Dylan's group does their work. See you later. And don't let anyone know where you're going.")

Kenny closed the door and the others turned around to go eat breakfast in the dining room.

"Dude…this is all seriously pretty fucked up…."

The kids were able to slip out easily after they finished breakfast. Kenny took them to a small thickly forested area behind the pond that was behind Eastern Oak High. They came to a stop at a certain tree and Kenny tapped a few precise pieces of bark and moss on the tree and the ground below them started to sink. A minute later, the group had entered the underground base, and the kids gazed in awe at the sight before them.

("Well, we're here.")

"Whoaaa!"

"This is neat-o!"

"Yeah dude, sick base you guys have."

("Follow me.")

Kenny led them through the base and they found Dylan, Sara, and Bailey in front of a whiteboard.

"Great you made it!" Dylan greeted the kids.

"Just what the hell are we doing here again!?"

"Ah yes, one of my most brilliant ideas ever! You see we have this little tool we used. It sent the whole world back in time 24 hours. The only ones who remember anything are my group and you kids."

"So does that mean the AGA never kidnapped Bebe and Ike?"

"That's right!"

"And they don't know they tried?"

"Yep. Not like it was a big loss for them anyway." Bailey answered. "The transceiver Dylan gave them was fake, but now they don't have it anymore."

"That's pretty cool!"

("But we have bigger problems now. We know Davenport's plan."

"Yes we do." Dylan turned to Bailey and Sara. "Get everyone together in the auditorium. We need to announce this."

A few moments later, all the EOH Juniors and the kids were meeting in the auditorium. Dylan, Sara, Bailey, Leah, Edith, Chris, Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, Ike, Bebe, and Butters were all standing on the stage while the rest of the 11th graders were sitting in the auditorium seats. A large projector screen stood in the middle of the stage that was being operated by Sara. As Dylan talked, she clicked through each slide.

"First of all." Dylan began. "These are Kenny's friends that we all know so much about."

Everyone else said hello to them in unison with Stan responding with a simple "Uh…hi?"

"You assholes are all a bunch of stalkers!" Cartman yelled out. Kenny quickly covered his mouth and told him to pay attention.

A map of the Sapphire course of the Nexton resort was shown on the screen. It had a bunch of lines and markings drawn all over it.

"As we all know, Davenport and his gang have modified the Sapphire course, the historic golf course on which both tournaments are being held on. Today is the first practice day of the Women's Finals. We now know that Justyn Henryk was the winner of the Men's Finals." Dylan said as Sara changed the slide to a picture of Justyn Henryk. "We have determined that Henryk only won because the golf course was rigged. According to our calculations, if the course hadn't been rigged at all, Gavin Posey would've won."

"Ah, that wasn't very nice of them." Butters said sympathetically.

"Indeed it wasn't."

Bailey continued. "We now know that if Henryk hadn't won, Davenport's plan would never succeed. That's why they rigged the course-so that Henryk would win for sure."

"So…I was right?" Kyle asked.

"Yes you were."

"Why evil man need Polish guy?" Ike asked.

Sara changed the slide to a diagram of a brain labeled "Henryk's brain" as Edith explained the next part.

"Justyn Henryk's brain gives off a certain type of neurological signal. That's why Davenport needed that transceiver-so he could modify it to interpret the data from his brain waves. But we just found out he has a transceiver now-a real one. With it, he'll be able to interpret the data from Henryk's brain's neurological brain waves."

"What do they want with some dude's brain?"

Leah continued after Sara changed the slide to a picture of a humongous drilling machine of sorts.

"They need his brain to activate this drill. They set it up to their specifications, but are missing one line of code that they need to make it work properly. Davenport determined that Justyn Henryk is the only person in the WORLD whose brain wave patterns can be converted into the line of code they need. The AGA has tried countless times before to figure out what the code is themselves, but they've had no luck."

"So how does that involve him winning the tournament?"

"They felt like they had no other way that would've been as discrete and unobvious." Chris answered. "The trophy Henryk received for winning was designed so that as soon as any of his DNA, such as his fingerprints, made contact with it, the trophy would then establish a link between the transceiver and Henryk's brain-and Henryk doesn't even know it. With the transceiver, they're able to extract the code they need."

("This is why they set up rules such as no cell phones and such. They didn't want any kind of radio signal interrupting the process. They also did it to prevent communication between anybody that suspected them. Stan, when your dad was taken to the 1st Aid tent, they did something to him so that he would obey the rules and not try anything else that could expose their plan. That's what they've done to all the rule breakers during the tournament. Your dad doesn't exactly remember what happened in the 1st Aid tent, but he does remember it being somewhat traumatizing. That's why he hasn't done anything stupid since while at the golf course.")

"Boys, remember those little earpieces a grounds worker gave you during our first day there?" Dylan asked.

"Yes."

"The reason Kenny and I didn't take one is because we knew that they had dangerous effects. Those ear pieces let you tune into ESPN or whatever so that as long as you're at the course, you can know what's happening. But they also built it so that the radio signal your earpiece receives makes your mind…more lax, for lack of a better word. We've determined that golf course adjustments would have been noticeable if one did not have an earpiece. Still a very unlikely chance anybody without one would, but a better chance than if they had an earpiece."

"But I had an earpiece and I noticed right away!" Kyle exclaimed.

("That's true. The AGA wasn't counting on any of us being that smart.")

"Ah!"

"But what does that drill thing do?" Butters asked.

"They're going to use it to drill deep, deep below the earth, below their secret lair to be exact. We're talking like almost to the Earth's core." Sara continued as she changed the slide to a picture of a glowing purple powder-like substance. "They're going to drill for this!"

All the other 11th graders gasped out of horror and fear, for they knew what it was and how dangerous it could be.

"What is that!?" Stan asked.

("Chemical Z.")

"Chemical Z?"

"Yes, Chemical Z." Dylan added. "It's an extremely powerful element whose existence has just been mere rumors to even the world's top scientists and chemists. But we know about it. Unfortunately, so does Davenport. Davenport's ultimate goal is to do something bad on a global scale."

"What do you mean?"

"We're not sure if he's going to take over the world, enslave all of humanity, destroy the world, or what. There's a lot of things we know he could and would do, but we haven't narrowed it down to just one yet." Bailey added.

"With Chemical Z he can do what he pleases to say the least. He's planning on using it to power whatever he needs to accomplish whatever his goal is." Leah continued.

"He'll get rid of anybody standing in his way once he has Chemical Z…including you kids." Dylan said to the now somewhat scared kids.

"US!?"

"Not just you kids…everyone from South Park. But especially you."

"Oh my God!"

"But why us especially!?"

"Because I worked alongside one of-I mean, we honestly have no idea."

("We just know.")

Dylan's sudden unsure tone of voice made Stan raise his eyebrows a little bit.

"Bottom line you guys-your whole town's in danger. Your parents, your friends…everyone."

("They plan on taking us all hostage at some point-both those from Nexton and those from South Park.")

"How do we stop them!?"

"That's the problem." Bailey answered. "We…don't really know how."

"We do know that Davenport is gathering a few extra hands in order to take us and you kids down for good."

"Who?"

("Some old enemies of ours.")

"Old enemies?"

("Yep. We don't know who though.")

Later that day, Davenport was having a meeting in his lair with some of his employees.

"Sir are you aware that-."

"I'm quite aware!" Davenport interrupted. "But it's OK that they know now."

"It is?"

"It is now! Let's say I've…hired a few friends to help take care of these little bastards. And they know exactly how to take care of them…." Davenport flashed a wicked grin and started laughing evilly as he rubbed his hands together.

Later that afternoon, the kids had decided that they needed to rummage through Dylan's house, just in case he was hiding something else. Kyle and Ike were waiting at Dylan's car in the Nex parking lot when Stan, Bebe, Cartman, and Butters finally showed up.

"About time! He's almost here! Get in the trunk!"

The other four climbed in the trunk. "How'd you get that open?" Stan asked.

"Spare key I found at Dylan's house."

"How are we supposed to keep from bouncing around in here?"

"Easy: Use Cartman."

"Ey!"

Practically as soon as Kyle closed the trunk, Dylan finally showed up.

"You two ready to go?"

"Yes. We are." Kyle said in a way that confused Dylan a little.

"Hey Dylan can I ask you something?" Kyle asked Dylan in the car a few minutes later.

"Sure, what?"

"Have you told my friends and I everything about yourself?"

"Of course. The only thing I had to hide was my operation with my friends."

"Oh really?"

"Yes. Really."

Dylan, Kyle, and Ike arrived at the Scralp residence to find that nobody else was home. Dylan opened the door to let Kyle and Ike in and told them he had to go do something else. Stan, Cartman, Butters, and Bebe were able to silently sneak out of the trunk and hide before Dylan came back out. Once they were sure he had driven off, Kyle let them in the house.

"Boy that was close!"

"I'll say! Good thing he didn't bother sticking around. And nobody else is here either."

"Which gives us plenty of time to uncover whatever the hell else we're not being told. Where's Kenny?"

"I don't know. I couldn't find him at the hotel."

"Well whatever, let's get to work." Kyle said kind of taking charge. "Butters, you check Dylan's room. Bebe you get Caroline's room, Stan you look in the office."

"Is that the room with the computer?"

"Yes. Ike, you check his parent's room. Make sure to look in the closet and bathroom too OK? Cartman you look upstairs and I'll look everywhere else. Be thorough, but clean up after yourselves and put everything back the way it was."

"Got it!" everyone replied in unison.

Butters looked in Dylan's room, not knowing Gerald and Sheila had been occupying it for the past week. He peered under the bed covers and noticed a bunch of wet spots. The wet spots were indicators that Kyle's parents had sex the previous night, but Butters mistook it for Dylan wetting the bed. He breathed a sigh of relief and said he was glad that he wasn't the only one.

Over in the office, Stan was looking through the files on the computer when he came across an extremely peculiar one. "How Is Such Topics Octagonally Rhetoric in the sense of Yesterday's Essential but Stupid Statements of one pointing to the Asteroid of the Yiddish!? What the fuck kind of a file name is that!?"

Stan opened the file, but it turned out to be an old school paper Dylan had wrote a while ago.

Kyle was busy checking under the couch in the TV room, where he found a quarter underneath the cushions.

Butters eventually came across a box that was nestled in the back of Dylan's closet where it was quite well hidden. He opened the box and inspected its contents.

"Let's see...old test papers, old school notes, and a picture of…him and Eric's mom!? FELLAS! I FOUND SOMETHING!" Butters yelled out.

Everyone else rushed in to the room to see what Butters had found.

"What'd you find?"

"This!" Butters answered as he shoved the picture towards Kyle.

Kyle stared at it for a moment, completely speechless.

"What is it!? What is it!?"

"It's a picture of Dylan and…Cartman's mom! This looks like it was taken when they were much younger!"

"WHAT!? Give me that!" Cartman yanked the picture out of Kyle's hands. "What the hell is this!?"

"There's writing on the back!"

Cartman flipped the picture over and read aloud what was written on the back of it.

"Liane and me, August 1989. Shortly before Liane was…chosen to be the adoptive mother of Diane's new-born son…Eric!"

Everyone just stared blankly at each other for a whole minute. They didn't know how to react.

"So…what I overheard Dylan tell Sara was right?" Kyle wondered.

"This whole time Cartman not only never knew his real father…."

"But he never knew his real…mother?"

"Oh hamburgers…."

Cartman went from speechless to extremely pissed off in a matter of seconds.

"God…damn it! GOD-DAMN IT!" Cartman yelled as he angrily stormed out of the room, completely filled with rage.

"Is everyone thinking what I'm thinking?" Kyle asked with sudden anger in his voice.

"Oh yeah. Fuck yeah."

"We confront that son of a bitch as soon as he gets back!"

Dylan finally got back home about 20 minutes later and was certainly not expecting seven kids in his bedroom waiting on him and angrily staring him down with hunched eyebrows when he entered his room.

"Alright you! What is the meaning of this!?" Kyle angrily demanded.

"Um…what the hell are you all doing here?" Dylan asked.

"Explain THIS asshole!" Cartman angrily demanded as he held up the picture they had found. The second Dylan saw the picture, his face became flooded with intense looks of fear and anxiety and his mouth just hung open.

"How did you…oh…my…God…." Dylan sighed. "Well…I guess I should've expected this. It was only a matter of time." Dylan sighed again and sat down on his bed to face the kids. "Kids…there is one more thing about me you don't know…and it doesn't just involve me either. Listen carefully…I'm about to tell you something that I prayed none of you, not anybody, would ever find out about…."

A/N: And episode 2 of Rad Fanon South Park is complete! Huzzah!

What is the connection between Liane and Dylan's past? Is Liane really not the mother of Eric Cartman? What are Stan's true feelings for Wendy? What does Davenport plan to do with Chemical Z? Be on the lookout for the next episode; name TBD, to find out!

I hope you're enjoying the new plot twist this episode contained! Any feedback is gratefully appreciated!