What They Don't Teach You

I was not too happy with the way Simon/Kaylee was handled in the Serenity movie. I felt it was clumsy and tacked-on and didn't do justice to the tenderness of their relationship that we see all through the series. So let's imagine – shouldn't be too hard – that Simon didn't get to finish his sentence during the reavers' attack, and so some weeks later…

He found her tucked into a corner of the engine room and he caught himself thinking, Good, that makes it harder for her to walk away. Not that she looked inclined to walk anywhere right now. She sat on the floor, back against the steel wall, hugging her knees. When she heard his footsteps, she looked up and almost smiled. He wondered what was holding back the full Kaylee smile.

"Hi. What brings you here?"

"Um…" He had rehearsed the crucial sentence – If I could choose from all the women in the 'verse, I'd choose you – but only now did it occur to him that he couldn't exactly open the conversation with that. "May I sit here with you for a while?"

"Be my guest."

He crouched down beside her and pulled his arms around his knees the same way she did. In the distance, someone was clattering with dishes. Nothing else could be heard apart from Serenity's contented humming. And then a very quiet sigh.

"Are...are you sad, Kaylee?"

"Li'l bit."

"Hm." He slipped his arm round her shoulders. "Do you want to tell me?"

"Don't know." Another sigh. "Don't see much point."

"Why not, I'm a good listener, and, well, a doctor and, um, I'm experienced with people who've had trauma, and, um…" Oh, God, here we go again.

"I don't need no treatment."

"Yeah, well…" He pulled her a little closer and leaned his head against hers. "But maybe a sympathetic ear?"

She glanced at him, then went back to staring at her knees.

"Come on, Kaylee, what's the matter?"

"If you must know..." A third sigh. "It's that I never know whether you're just playing with me."

"I'm not playing with you!" he protested, but now she'd started she wasn't for stopping. "Do you know what it's like," she said, "always to be teased? Can you imagine what it's like, always to have that shiny thing dangled in front of my face, and then when I reach out, poof, away it goes."

Okay, right now would be a good time to mention the purpose of his visit. Probably. Almost certainly.

"Kaylee, look at me."

Obliging, she looked at him and immediately he felt the power of coherent speech drain away from him yet again. He could sense the stammer lurking in his throat, ready to pounce.

"Actually, um, better don't look at me."

She turned her head away. "See what I mean?" She tried to shrug off his arm but he held firm.

"No, Kaylee, that's not…you misunderstand me. It's just that I can't really say what I want to say when you look at me like that. My brain goes mushy. Surely you know that I'm an idiot."

"Surely you ain't, Mr Top Three Percent."

"Among the things they don't teach you at medical school is how to tell a woman that you love her."

He felt her hold her breath. And now shut up, he told himself, before you say anything stupid.

"What's there to teach?" she mumbled. "You just say it."

"Just say it?"

"Yes."

Come on, it's only four words, I can them get out without falling over my own tongue.

"I love you, Kaylee." I've said it!

There was no response; her shoulders remained tense.

"Kaylee? Was that all right?"

"Only if you mean it."

"Of course I mean it! What can I do to make you believe me?"

She turned her face to him. "Kiss me, you idiot. I'll close my eyes so's not to scare you."

And so at last his lips met hers and they tasted sweeter than strawberries. They felt softer than – but, no, he wouldn't spoil the moment by thinking of similes. He abandoned himself to the kiss. It was a kiss that lasted for a good long while and was followed by chuckles and giggles and flashing eyes and heads tilted in a teasing manner, but it wasn't followed by the kind of declaration he felt he was now entitled to.

He held her by the shoulders and looked right into her eyes.

"Well? Is there nothing you want to tell me?"

She framed his face with her hands.

"Simon Tam, if I could choose from all the men in the 'verse, I'd choose you."

He wondered briefly whether River was behind this, but in the end, what did it matter?